一战托福作文29分，发些平时习作供大家参考
本帖最后由 Aaronang 于 2011-2-8 17:59 编辑概述：
文章的内容、结构、风格仅代表作者个人观点，希望可以起到参考作用。
另外，我在考T前考得G，作文4.5分。
这些文章是我复习托福时的所有习作，错误也不少，还请大家注意。
尤其要提醒大家注意拼写错误，每次我打完放到Word里，好多下面有线:L
（但我能发现的错误都用红色改正了）
托福作文就是要句子逻辑清楚，段落主旨和例证明确、段落间衔接良好。
文章注释说明：
1、红色：表示修改的内容；
2、蓝色：independent中表示全文主旨句和每段主题句；
integrated中表示每段主题句（即与passage联系的内容）。
<<全部文章贴在了下面的回复中：independent在6楼，integrated在10楼。>> 谢谢！！！！！！！！可以加你QQ么，我的QQ 57477048 真诚想请教一些问题 谁能告诉我怎么传附件，写完了才发现找不到“浏览”，急。。。 积分不够……所以传不上来，你可以问问斑竹，是不是能给权限之类的 lz，你别忽视我啊，能加你QQ么？？？？ 本帖最后由 Aaronang 于 2010-10-2 22:49 编辑
发不了附件，直接贴了，以下是independent全部文章：
1 二选一 Untimed
157. In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or televisions or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.
①学校提供外部动力，促使学生学习。
②学校可以提供交流环境，有助于学生与老师的沟通，利于学习。
③提供社交环境，助于学生社交能力成长。
427
Within several decades, the rapid developing technology enables almost every family to get access to the internet at home. Educational television programs were introduced to families for their convenience and vividness. It seems natural that people would gradually switch from traditional schools to internet based or television based education. However, this never happened. Why? Because traditional schools possess many essential qualities for more effective education which can hardly be replicated by internet and television. For the better-being of the students, I prefer traditional schools as the ideal mean for education.
At first glance, internet and television seem to provide much more flexibility on time for the students. The fact is that this flexibility might just inhibit the process of effective learning. At such young ages, self-control is quite limited in students. Even at schools, students often disobey the rules and disregard the schedules. It is not difficult to conceive that most students, at home, would indulge in the freedom and never follow the schedule, if they have ever bothered to make one. While at school, from morning to evening, students are constantly under supervision of teachers who play an active role in transmitting knowledge, thus students are more likely to absorb information in a school environment.
Second, traditional schools are far more interactive in teaching than internet and television. No matter how vividly today's technology imitates the interactive environment, internet and television are still too rigid and unrealistic. For instance, in traditional classrooms, when listening to a lecture, students can directly ask questions if they don't follow and immediately receive feedback. Teachers would also be able to observe the students’ behavior in order to adjust the pace and content. Meanwhile, on the internet, students can hardly have the opportunity to raise questions which they might just forget eventually because of procrastination.
Last but not least, traditional schools guarantee the students a social environment full of peers. From the very first day in kindergarten, children are forced to socialize with other kids. Years of schooling will help students make friends, learn to cooperate and deal with people they do not like. Such a learning process is a necessity for their future working and living. We have learnt that students who were home schooled, often turned out to be lacking of social skills and friends, let alone studying via cold computers and televisions.
In summary, even though computer and television provide us with an alternative way of studying, the status of traditional schools cannot be replaced. Students will surely benefit more from traditional schools both academically and psychologically.
2 同意与否 Untimed
28. Is it true that media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people?
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.
①现状：的确太多关注，对名人本身造成伤害；
②对社会，尤其青少年造成不良影响。
③原因：由利益驱使，满足观众好奇心。但作为名人应该有所容忍。
386
In modern society, media, which serve as our major source of information, is indispensable in our daily lives. Far too often, I realize that most media, no matter centralizing in which field, cover an excessive number of topics concerning personal lives of famous people. It is sad but true that both lives of the famous and the well-being of the society are endangered by this fact. Considering the nature of humans, the situation can hardly be improved in the future.
The current extensive concentration on the personal lives of famous people by media imposes immense pressure on these people. It is natural that almost no one wants their private life under scrutiny of others, especially when it is not glorious. We have learnt so much about the importance of respecting others' personal things. Even inquiring a woman's age would be regarded as inappropriate. Therefore, it is not difficult to conceive that the revelation of famous people's personal lives could be detrimental to their feelings. Every time Britney Spears did something even slightly improper, the world would know. Through her big sun glasses and rigid lips, all we could see was unwillingness and resistance.
Furthermore, this over exposure jeopardizes the development of the youth, especially teenagers. Via various colorful magazines, what they acquire is not life guidance or decent knowledge, but some inglorious peek into other’s lives. This situation misleads teenager's attention to trivia and unhealthy topics. Moreover, this might even increase their curiosity about other’s privacy and make them think these sneaky topics are justified. When teenage girls enjoy gathering to gossip about the privacy of famous people, we have to worry about this huge impact on their moral standard.
The cause, the fundamental reason for media's indulgence in discovering the personal lives of famous ones lies in the eagerness of audiences to know more about the common or even embarrassing aspects of the perfect idols. Drawn by the endless desire for revenue, media never hesitate to try their best to please the interest of audiences. After all, the curiosity for other's privacy is human nature; needless to say the personal lives of famous people. On the other hand, famous people have benefited so much from the audience’s attention. Sometimes they should be able to understand the audience’s curiosity, as long as it is not too egregious.
3 二选一 Untimed
59. Live life in a hurry or at a slower pace?
Some people are always in a hurry to go places and get things done. Other people prefer to take their time and live life at a slower pace. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
①总得来说应该hurry，尤其年轻人
②sometimes take time and slow down
③not mutually exclusive，相互促进
472
The world is developing and changing at a dramatic pace nowadays. Even though I enjoy life at a slower pace, generally it is unjustified that modern people should always take their time and not try to keep up with this pace.
No one wants to fall behind others. I believe people who say they do not care about success and achievements are either trying to fool themselves or giving up the hope. The development of society is generated by individual improvement. Considering the pattern of nature, it is reasonable that people should hasten themselves and get things done as quickly as possible. Being quick, as long as not blindingly, can mean learning more and achieving more. This is especially true for young people, who are eagerly preparing themselves a better future. At school, top students are usually the ones who walk at a higher pace and finish their assignment more quickly. Even for adults, in a business world, efficiency is considered to be one of the most important factors for success. Even though quickness is not equal to efficiency, under such extreme competition, only by forcing themselves to hurry up and finish more tasks with the same time can they prove their strength.
It is true that people should try to be hurried and quick, yet occasional relaxation is necessary for everyone. Every once in a while, people should put aside their aim and work, take a slower pace and enjoy their time. Desire is endless, and people are impossible to strive to fulfill every prospect. By taking a slower pace, people can be granted the opportunity to taste the beauty of life and nature. Only by slowing down can we have the moment to appreciate the world around us and discover the essence of life. Furthermore, people who are always in intense activity may not be capable of sustaining the pressure for too long, which might lead to undesirable health problems.
Therefore, being in a hurry and taking a slower pace in life are not mutually exclusive; actually they can promote each other. Taking either way as the only style of living can be dangerous and close-minded. This can be demonstrated by our real live. Most of us would focus on intensive task and try to finish them on time, while afterward, we might take a slower pace on less important things, or even spend time on holidays to enjoy ourselves. During the slower phase, we could get enough rest and become more energetic, thus we could be able to concentrate again on the upcoming important issue.
In summary, for a healthy and vibrant person, it is essential to recognize their relative importance and call for a balance between hurrying and slowing. In addition, we could try to utilize them both properly to make our daily life more exciting and productive.
4 二选一 Timed
47. A large company or a small one, which do you want to work for?
Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
①大公司范围广，交流多，眼界广
②大公司往往引领行业前沿，创新好
③小公司可能方便，地域感强，但年轻人还是应该尽力到大公司。
470
Preference about large or small company as the ideal working environment various according to people's different interests and life prospects. As for me, I believe that large companies feature a wide range of advantages which small companies can hardly provide. When we talk about companies, it is not accidental that we usually first come up with the names of global giants. Even though small companies do own their own benefits, they will never be my first choice.
The greatest characteristic of large companies is their scope. They usually expand to many regions, even countries. For the employees, this feature offers them a valuable opportunity to broaden their horizon and see the world. Let’s take the brand Haier as an example. With years of development and expansion, now Haier has been a global company with centers in many countries. Its staff is from different nations and constitutes an environment of great diversity. It is reasonable to see that Haier's employees can experience different cultures within their immediate working site. Moreover, as a large company, Haier's products cover almost every aspect of our daily lives. It is exciting to work in a company which has the power to satiate the detailed expectations of modern people.
Furthermore, large companies usually pioneer in their areas, while small companies can seldom have the chance or strength to do so. KPF, one of the world's largest architecture firms, has completed a great number of astonishing projects around the world. Because of its scope and fame, people of KPF are constantly granted opportunities to build landmarks with state-of-the-art technologies. Shanghai International Financial Center is one of their magnificent workswhich ranks the third among the world's tallest buildings. KPF solved many problems for this skyscraper including the ingenious opening on top of the building used for reducing wind pressure. Now, KPF is designing the futuristic vertical city in Shanghai which has never been tried before. Without its strong background and capability, KPF would not even be able to take on the political responsibilities, needless to say the role to design. Thus it is justified that KPF's employees has greater chance to lead and shine, compared with other people in the same field.
I have to admit that small companies do have certain characteristics attracting job hunters. For example, some might just prefer their working places closer to home and the working hours more stable. These expectations can usually be satisfied in small companies. Moreover, small companies can impose less pressure on the employees and their requirements for workers might generally be easier to meet. However, with serious comparison, I still select large companies as a more delightful career choice. This is especially true for young people, who should have the courage and desire to lead a more challenging life in pursuing the benefits only large companies possess.
5 二选一 Timed
32. Spend your earned money immediately or save it for future?
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
①总体enjoy，钱随时间贬值，存起来利息少
② 以后就没有机会享受了，甚至可以提前消费
③然而还是要存一些，以防不时之需
483
Based on various economic situations, people might hold different opinions about whether to spend earned money immediately or save it for future. At first glance, it seems wise to always save money for future. However, with closer examination about our lives and expectations, I believe that what we should do is to spend most of money for today instead of tomorrow while saving a small part for future usage.
Generally speaking, the value of a certain amount of money will decrease with time. It seems that by storing money in a bank, we will receive some interest, thus we can get some benefits. While in fact, the decreased value can hardly be compensated by the small amount of interest. The truth is that we always have reasons to spend money, no matter for practical purposes or simply to satiate our desire for unnecessary luxurious goods. Therefore, we should have the courage to spend our earned money for today with its greatest possible value. Furthermore, the value of some goods might increase with time, such as stamps and some souvenirs. Purchasing these things today might actually help us earn more money in the future.
Considering how short our lives are, it is reasonable to spend money immediately to enjoy our lives. Chinese, especially the group of seniors, are deeply influenced by the importance of saving money. They are constantly worried about tomorrow and thinking that only by saving money can they be guaranteed a better life in future. However, the pathetic situation is that most of them never fulfilled their dream trips and ideal residence. Even the quality of their daily necessities is always below average standards. When they are old, they no longer have the health to taste their lives, thus the money is either passed to their children or sadly, wasted. In western countries and some developed areas in China, people even developed a way to spend "the money of tomorrow". Young people can live in better houses by borrowing money from banks, and then they can return their money gradually through working. This phenomenon has vividly demonstrated people’s support for spending money to enjoy today.
In addition to all the analysis above, I have to admit that spending all money hastily for immediate enjoyment can sometimes be too irresponsible, and even silly. Since no one can predict what might happen tomorrow, we have to save a certain amount of money for emergencies in future. In addition, if one cannot confirm a steady income after retirement, it might be wiser to save some money for later life.
Overall, I hold my point that people should spend most of their earned money at once to enjoy a life of better quality. Yet there are no two people entirely the same, we have to take other factors into consideration and make a clever balance between how much to spend and how much to save.
6 其他 Timed
113. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community
The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion.
①优点：学生上学方便；促进当地的教育发展
②优点：促进当地产业发展，提供就业岗位
③缺点：本区很多老人，将极大影响他们的生活，其他人的生活也不再安宁
④缺点：交通、环境问题
454
My community is located in a quiet and small town with very beautiful natural sceneries. The environment is very suitable for a new university. Everyone in my community would without doubt enjoy a sense of pride when informed that a new university will be built here. However, just as any other constructions, this action will bring many advantages as well as disadvantages to my community.
The most essential and exciting advantage is that a new university will definitely enhance the education on all levels in my community. Usually, children living nearby a university would frequently visit or play in the university, and thus they can be unconsciously influenced by the academic environment. This influence might be more effective to them than any preach from their parents about the importance of studying. By building a new university, children in my community will develop a greater motivation for studying hard. Moreover, with a university located nearby, all the primary schools, middle schools will have a greater sense of competition. The teachers may encourage the students to work harder to get a university degree, since it would be very embarrassing that the students of their own community could not be admitted by the new university.
Besides, a new university in my community will boom the local economy. As we all know, universities are always surrounded by a wide range of stores, restaurants and markets which provide services to the students and faculty. Thus it is very likely that the new university will encourage the local residents to offer their services around the school. As a result, more people will be employed and the employment rate which bothers the government for years might eventually drop.
However, with closer examination, the disadvantages of building a new university in my community could also be formidable. Since my community is far from the city, most of its residents are seniors. Even for the younger people living here, they prefer a quiet environment and are afraid of any major changes made to their lives. Therefore, the attention brought by a new university might be unbearable to these local people. To be specific, traffic will no doubt increase in the near future. With more cars and people on the roads, it is possible that the local environmental quality will decrease. If the air is no more clean, our community might lose its strongest attraction. Then current residents might feel quite reluctant to live here in the future.
In sum, the advantages of building a new university in my community seems very promising, yet we have to consider the undesirable consequences it might bring about. The government should really be cautious and take all the possible factors into consideration before making such a decision.
学习了 看起来不错 顶
谢！！ 支持lz啦，lz牛人啊！！ 支持支持 我的独立作文老是出问题 是不是就是要写成一边倒的形式啊？ 以下是所有的integrated习作：
1 Untimed
TPO4
265
The professor provides sufficient evidence which contradicts the conclusion of the passage. In her view, dinosaurs are not endotherms, thus they cannot sustain constant body temperature.
First, the professor argues that the existence of dinosaurs in Polar Regions does not necessarily indicate the point in the passage that dinosaurs had to maintain constant body temperature in order to survive extreme climate. According to her, at the time when dinosaurs existed, the Polar Regions were much warmer. In part of the year, they would be mild enough for the survival of non endotherms. Even assuming the winter in polar regions were very cold, it is possible that dinosaurs, as non endotherms,
could still made through it via migration or simply hibernation.
Second, the professor addresses that the position of dinosaurs' legs underneath the body might be advantageous only for holding their great weight, not for running. Therefore, the professor directly objects the point from the passage that dinosaurs' body structure proves their quality of endotherms -- maintaining physical activity.
Finally, the professor says that along with
haversian canals, growth rings also appeared on the bones of dinosaurs. This evidence was not mentioned by the passage. Growth rings are the thicker parts on bones, which are manifestation of slow growth or even ceased growth. It indicates that dinosaurs' growth rate fluctuated during a year, which differs from real endotherms’ growing pattern of constant growth rate. Thus dinosaurs are very likely not endotherms. This conclusion once again contradicts the point made in the passage.
Therefore, with further evidence and reasoning, the passage is logically attacked by the professor.
2 Untimed
TPO6
224
The professor disagrees with the arguments in the passage. She provides more evidence which refutes the problems of communal online encyclopedia raised by the passage.
First, the professor contends that online encyclopedia contains academic mistakes, but she argues that traditional encyclopedia can never be close to perfect either. Moreover, the mistakes in online encyclopedia can be readily corrected, while inaccuracy in traditional encyclopedia may sustain for decades. Therefore, by making a comparison, the professor reaches a conclusion very different from the passage.
Second, the professor opposes the point in the passage that online encyclopedia is under constant danger of hackering and tampering by offering two ways
currently used to protect online information. First, crucial facts are only provided via read-only formats which can never be fabricated by malicious hackers. In addition, changed information is always under the supervision of special editors.
Finally, the professor addresses that because of its unlimited space, not only essential academic topics can be deeply represented in online encyclopedia, a wide range of other topics which reflect people's real diverse interests are also focused. This is one of the strongest advantages of online encyclopedia. Thus the point in the passage that online encyclopedia misleads people’s attention to trivia is objected by the professor.
Overall, with further evidence, the professor logically and convincingly attacked the three problems made in the passage.
3 Timed
TPO8
317
The professor contends that no memoir can be completely accurate. However, she argues that the three points made in the passage are not substantiated.
First, the professor opposes the point in the passage that Chevalier was not rich. She says that it took days to transform Chevalier's assets into money due to the special form of his property. In Switzerland, Chevalier spent a great deal of money on parties and gambling, thus he was often in need of money. When he could not wait for his own assets changed into money, he had to borrow some for emergency. This
indicates that Chevalier did possess great wealth, which is opposite to the claim in the passage.
Second, the accuracy of the conversations in Chevalier's memoir is confirmed by the professor via offering more evidence. In his memoir, Chevalier stated that after his conversing with Voltaire, he immediately wrote down the contents on notes which were referred to frequently when he was writing the memoir. And this action was supported by some witness who said that Chevalier did review some notes when writing the memoir. Therefore, the point in the passage that the conversations are not accurate is seriously attacked.
Third, the professor reaches a conclusion about the way Chevalier escaped from jail which contradicts the point in the passage. She says that there were many people in the same prison who had even more powerful friends than Chevalier, yet none of them succeeded in bribing the jailers. Thus it was unlikely that Chevalier had done the bribe. In addition, some old government documents prove that the ceiling of the jail room which kept Chevalier had to be repaired after Chevalier's departure. This evidence strengthens Chevalier's statement that he escaped through the ceiling.
In sum, the professor logically attacked the passage . She has demonstrated the accuracy of the memoir
and justified its value as a reliable historical source.
4 Timed
TPO10
245
The professor points out that based on current evidence, predation is a more likely cause for the decline of sea otter populations rather than pollution supported by the passage.
First, the professor mentions that if chemicals decreased otters' resistance to lethal infections, then their dead bodies should have been found on the shore. Yet no such evidence exists. It is more possible that predators killed them and ate them up immediately. Thus by providing further evidence, the professor directly objects the point in the passage.
Second, the professor suggests whales disappeared because of human hunting, thus orca had to change its diet to small sea mammals such as seals, lions and otters. This predation might be the reason for the decline pattern of a wider range of sea mammals. Therefore, the claim in the passage that pollution led to the decline of these animals is weakened by the professor.
Third, the professor contradicts the passage by demonstrating predation as a more plausible explanation for the uneven pattern of otters’ decline. Because orca is too large to get access to shallow rocks and other similar locations, safety is ensured for otters and their populations are in fact steady in these areas. The decline of otter populations only occurred in places accessible to orca. This evidence clearly shows that the uneven pattern can be better explained by orca's predation instead of environmental factors.
In sum, with further evidence, the professor objects the conclusion made in the passage.
5 Timed
3点结论都是全文论点，主题句最好放在段末
289
The professor argues that the claim in the passage is based on unconvincing evidence, thus the conclusion that the portrait is about Jane Austen when she was
a teenager is questionable at best.
First, the professor points out that the portrait was not used by Jane' family as an illustration in her published letters until 70 years after her death. Thus these family members had never seen Jane in person, and they themselves could not have been certain about whether the figure in the portrait was indeed Jane. Therefore, the point in the passage that the family proves Jane was the figure in the portrait was seriously weakened by the professor.
Second, the professor mentions that merely based on the similarities between the sketch and the portrait, the passage too hastily jumps into the conclusion that the portrait was about Jane. It is entirely possible that one of Jane’s contemporary relatives or even their children who were teenagers could share these facial resemblances, and thus was the subject in the portrait. Moreover, the professor says that some people believe that the portrait was about one of Jane's distant nieces.
Third, even though the painting was not dated or signed, a stamp on the canvass indicates that the canvass was sold by a certain person who did not start selling canvass in London until Jane was 23 years old. This evidence clearly suggests that the painting could not have been done when Jane was a teenager. Thus the claim in the passage that the painting was finished by Ozias Humphrey for a teenage Jane Austen was attacked by the professor.
In sum, the points in the passage are unreliable. By providing further evidence, the passage is doubted by the professor.
6 Timed
3点结论不同，可把主题句放在段首（3种主题句写法）
258
The professor contends that salvage logging might be helpful for the temporary recovery of a damaged forest. However, she says that it can be harmful for the long term environmental health. The benefits of salvage logging made in the passage are questioned by the professor.
First, the point in the passage that removing dead trees enhances the growth of new ones is called into question by the professor. She says that the decomposition of dead trees can provide nutrients to the soil in the forest which are essential for the growth of new plants. Thus this action can do harm to the environment.
Second, the passage claims that the decaying wood will produce some insects harmful to the health of the forest. To the contrary,
the spruce bark beetle mentioned by the passage is important ecologically and it has been in the woods for years without bringing major damage. Moreover, she says that the decaying trees can provide habitats for other birds and insects which are beneficial to the health of the forest. Thus salvage logging might lead to long term damage to the environment.
Finally, the professor refutes/contradicts/opposes/objects the point in the passage that salvage logging will bring about some economic benefits. She addresses that many serious forest damages have to be cleaned up by expensive means of transportation. Moreover, the jobs created are only temporary and will more likely be taken by outsiders who are more experienced rather than local workers.
In sum, with further evidence and reasoning, the passage is logically attacked by the professor. 也不是，必要的时候可以两边都说好处，分情况说明适用范围 9# 夏末麽蒽 ding 收录在此了https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=912313&page=1&extra= 顶啊- -拿走了 谢谢 = = 谢谢楼主啊 有用的东东