issue 65,请大家多多指教，谢谢！
65”People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they failed to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups.”Nowadays, there increasingly arises much concern about whether the differences or the similarities people should pay more attention to. The speaker asserts that people need see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups. As long as I concerned, the key point lies in the differences among things, which is greatly beneficial to the advancement of individuals and even of the human civilization.
A compelling argument in favor of the differences has to do with the fact that finding differences of ideas is favorable for people to have a profound understanding of the whole matter. A popular example is that when people recognize a new thing such as the internet, partialness and bias are inevitable. Some people may consider highly of internet to be a effective and efficient means of communication, while some other people may regard it a discreditable and fictitious world filled with lies and crimes. Only when people realize the violent differences between the two views and think thoroughly why there are differences, can people hold a correct and objective comprehension of internet, which is essential for people to better utilize it. Accordingly, the differences of things reinforce people to analyze, reason, and even to search more information of the thing, and ultimately serves to broaden people’s ken and horizon.
Furthermore, finding differences among individuals help people to realize their drawbacks, and thus inspire them to enhance themselves to be more competent. For supporting examples, one need look no further than students. The differences of marks in exams impel students to study hard to keep abreast of those winning high marks. Another striking example is the differences of right and freedom that people enjoy, which act as a positive catalyst to stimulate innumerous individuals to fight against the racial discrimination, from the Independent Revolution led by Washington, to the civil war sponsored by Lincoln which abolished the slavery in the South, and ultimately to the movement led by Martin Luther King, and now we can enjoy the democracy and equality of the society. Consequently, it is the differences among people in every aspects including ability, right, and so on, that play a significant and crucial role in the self-improvement of people, and even more importantly, in the enhancement of the democracy and equality of society.
On the contrast, neglecting the differences of things may lead to serious prejudice and even impede the continuous development of society. Those who only notice the similarity of things are inclined to be narrow-minded and inward looking, even worse, to be radical, which is unfavorable to the stability of the society. Furthermore, regardless of the differences of people means unable to realize the deficiency and shortage, and thus people would be satisfactory with the present conditions without striving to promote. In short, we shouldn’t erase, ignore or even play down the differences among all things, or, the condition may turn to be unfavorable.
In sum, to find the differences among ideas, individuals and groups is not only desirable but also indispensable, for it greatly contributes to form a objective and overall understanding of the whole matter, to point out the disadvantages of people, and even more importantly, to stimulate people to improve themselves as well as the whole society. 我的思路：
1，differences among ideas 使人们对事物的认识更全面。
2，differences among people 激励人们和社会不断前进。
3，neglecting differences 的后果
不知道我的例子用得是否恰当? 麻烦各位了！ 65”People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they failed to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups.”
Nowadays, there increasingly arises much concern about whether the differences or the similarities people should pay more attention to. The speaker asserts that people need see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups. As long as I（加am） concerned, the key point lies in the differences among things, which is(复数) greatly beneficial to the advancement of individuals and even of the human civilization.
A compelling argument in favor of the differences has to do with the fact that finding differences of ideas is favorable for people to have a profound understanding of the whole matter.（这句话是不是有语病啊？我没太看懂） A popular example is that when people recognize a new thing such as the internet, partialness and bias are inevitable.（话不可以这么绝对） Some people may consider highly of internet to be a effective and efficient means of communication, while some other people may regard it a discreditable and fictitious world filled with lies and crimes. Only when people realize the violent（这个词用得不好） differences between the two views and think thoroughly why there are differences, can people hold a correct and objective comprehension of internet, which is essential for people to better utilize it.（这一句的views是说前面的对网络的正面和负面的看法吗？觉得这里的因果关系有些勉强） Accordingly, the differences of things reinforce people to analyze, reason, and even to search more information of the thing（该用复数吧？）, and ultimately serves to broaden people’s ken and horizon.
第一句没怎么读懂，但看你的中文提纲观点还不错。
那个例子我觉得一般。也可能是你没表达清楚。不如说：当我们充分认识到了网络的利弊并认真思考如何最大限度的发挥网络的长处，我们才能更好的利用和掌握它。你在文中说的认识到两种相反观点的差异似乎不太好。
Furthermore, finding differences among individuals help（短语作主语，谓语用单三人称） people to realize their drawbacks, and thus inspire them to enhance themselves to be more competent. For supporting examples, one need look no further than students.（有这样的用法吗？） The differences of marks in exams impel students to study hard to keep abreast of those winning high marks. Another striking example is the differences of right and freedom that people enjoy, which act as a positive catalyst to stimulate innumerous individuals to fight against the racial discrimination, from the Independent Revolution led by Washington,(独立战争不是为了against the racial discrimination) to the civil war sponsored by Lincoln which abolished the slavery in the South, and ultimately to the movement led by Martin Luther King, and now we can enjoy the democracy and equality of the society. (后面那个from…to…读起来总是不舒服，还不如另起一句。后面的and now we…we是指谁呢？Chinese? 可前面又没有提到，加在后面读起来也不舒服。Consequently, it is the differences among people in every aspects including ability, right, and so on, that play a significant and crucial role in the self-improvement of people,（直接写self-improvement,其他删掉） and even more importantly, in the enhancement of the democracy and equality of society.
还是例子有些问题。那个学生考试的例子显得肤浅了，对于你的论点，普遍性差了一些。
后面的例子首先把独立战争和南北战争的起因归为differences就不合适，其次独立战争也不是为了反抗racial discrimination.
On the contrast, neglecting the differences of things may lead to serious prejudice and even impede the (删掉)continuous development of society. Those who only notice the similarity of things are inclined to be narrow-minded and inward looking（inward: 向内的, 内在的。用在这里不好吧？）, even worse, to be radical,（只看到相似点会变得激进？好像不存在因果关系） which is unfavorable to the stability of the society. Furthermore, regardless of the differences of people（不顾差异的人们？好像不是这么表述的） means（要么加宾语从句，要么是分词） unable to realize the（前面最好家限定词他们的） deficiency and shortage（用复数更好） and thus people would be satisfactory with the present conditions without striving to promote. In short, we shouldn’t erase, ignore or even play down the differences among all things, or（否则，otherwise）, the condition may turn to be unfavorable.
In sum, to find the differences among ideas, individuals and groups is not only desirable but also indispensable, for it greatly contributes to form a objective and overall understanding of the whole matter, to point out the disadvantages of people,(这个结构读起来别扭，还有point是不是改成pointing?) and even more importantly, to stimulate people to improve themselves as well as the whole society.
几个问题：
1 几个例子有些问题
2 用词有些贫乏
3 个别句子不太好
大的结构逻辑还不错，细节上再注意一些。继续加油！ 谢谢木耳帮我修改以及对我的鼓励！
写完之后自己也感觉例子有些牵强，这也是我的一个主要问题，有了观点可是不知道如何用恰当的例子来阐述。我该怎么办？
真是对不起，还有那么多细节上的错误，下次一定先仔细修改！ 例子是一个普遍的问题。唉，我也没什么捷径可以告诉你，这个问题很大程度上还得看个人平时的积累。多看别人的文章，多查查资料吧，这样会进步的快些。 我看了作文习题区issue一栏里面有些范文，而且分了类，里面的作文是不是都是高手的杰作？不过，我觉得文章有点少，而且似乎已经很久没有人去了。我有个小小的建议，可不可以把各个题目比较好的习作放在里面，这样子的话我们不用到处去找相应的范文看。
不过，又要辛苦各位斑竹！ 哈哈，那个地方，如果文章要放进去的话，审查比较严格的说。所以才会比较少。
可能我没有说明白吧，在习题库board里面有很多文章，有写得好的（例如issue的花放在什么“政治”“社会”等等下面），也有一般的，或者还不是足够好的:D（都放在issue习作区里面，是不是没有注意到这个部分啊？）
不一定非要看最好的文章，写之前也不一定要看前人写过的，搞不好自己限制了自己思维就惨了（我有一次先看完了happyman的文章，然后写同一个题目，根本想不到新论点了）。自己先写点新东西出来。
当初大家都是这么干的。
素材方面，找找社科的书，中英文都可以。网络上资源也不少，自己不妨找找。我们可能在转载方面做得并不够，以后尽量加强。如果找到什么好东东，也贴过来，让大家看看。
页:
[1]