花了很多时间的一篇issue，望帮忙看看
76"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."The speaker claims that technology creates more problems than it solves. In my view, this is a extreme assertion to say the least. The speaker also mentions that technology may threaten or damage the quality of life. I agree, yet I believe we can present that from taking place with proper control under most circumstance.
First of all, the original purpose of developing technology is absolutely to solve problems and to help improve the quality of life. What helps in improving the yields of crops to solve the pressing problem of requisition for more food for a growing population? What helps in curing the dreadful illnesses? What helps to keep workers' security when performing certain dangerous tasks? Of course, it is technology. Many problems have been solved with the development of technology and the developments of technology have enhanced the quality of human life significantly in three aspects. First, the use of machines in all aspects of life greatly reduced the use of human labor power. For example, with washing machines to help wash clothes, grass-cutting machines to help clean yard, dust catchers to help clean rooms, the time-consuming housework can now be done more quickly and better. Second, new high technology tends to reduce the use of human brain power. Now we can see computer-aided design, which help a lot to people engaged in occupations like drafting and industrial drawing in engineering and architecture. Computer teachers are employed in some schools and people are trying to build computer-controlled factories. Finally, many technologies are aimed at making people's life more colorful and interesting and we are now enjoying the new life brought by these technologies. The advent of radio and television has given us much for entertainment, one can enjoy all kinds of music, enjoy films and learn many interesting things never heard before. The computer is especially a powerful tool for entertainment (of course it can also be used for work). Not only can it play the role as a video or a television but also bridge you and someone else who is far away through the internet. You can chat with people from all over the world even though you do not know each other, how exciting it is!
However, it should be noted that the effects of new technologies are not always positive. Sometimes we use the phrase technological dualism to refer to the fact that technological changes often have both positive and negative effects. The negative effects are caused mainly for three reasons. First, the complexity of society and development make some technologies brought negative consequences. In the case of medical technology, the development of cures for vital illnesses helps the population grow faster. Then techniques that improve crop yields or permit long-term storage of food make it possible to support a larger population with a given amount of farmland. It is obvious that these technologies aim good but they help create one of the most serious problems today: the population is too large and is growing too fast. Second, misusage of technologies creates problems. The most striving example involves the environmental problem. With advanced techniques, tree-cutting have become much easier and faster, deforestation results in bad air and the disappear of many spices of organisms. Finally, because of the weak points of human nature, technology make some problems more serious. Developments in military technology make more people died because of wars. Thieves and robbers with advanced tools have the capacity to do a greater than before. But still, it is unfair to claim that technology creates more problems than it solves. Most of the problems mentioned above can be eventually solved by new technology or even avoid with more control of technology and the emphasis of moral.
In the final analysis, technology would amount to a double-edged sword. On the one hand it can solve problems and enhance the quality of human life. On the other hand, it can also bring negative consequences. We should neither be afraid of technology nor overlook the problems it has brought. 76"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."
The speaker claims that technology creates more problems than it solves. In my view, this is a extreme assertion to say the least. The speaker also mentions that technology may threaten or damage the quality of life. I agree, yet I believe we can present that from taking place with proper control under most circumstance.
First of all, the original purpose of developing technology is absolutely to solve problems and to help improve the quality of life. What helps in improving the yields of crops to solve the pressing problem of requisition for more food for(改为because of好些） a growing population? What helps in curing the dreadful illnesses? What helps to keep workers' security when performing certain dangerous tasks? Of course, it is technology. Many problems have been solved with the development of technology and the developments of technology have enhanced the quality of human life significantly in three aspects. First, the use of machines in all aspects of life greatly reduced the use of human labor power. For example, with washing machines to help wash clothes, grass-cutting machines to help clean yard, dust catchers（用vacuume cleaner) to help clean rooms, the time-consuming housework can now be done more quickly and better. Second, new high technology tends to reduce the use of human brain power. Now we can see computer-aided design, which help (helps) a lot to people engaged in occupations like drafting and industrial drawing in engineering and architecture. Computer teachers are employed in some schools and people are trying to build computer-controlled factories. Finally, many technologies are aimed at making people's life more colorful and interesting and we are now enjoying the new life brought by these technologies. The advent of radio and television has given us much for entertainment, one can enjoy all kinds of music, enjoy films and learn many interesting things never heard before. The computer is especially a powerful tool for entertainment (of course it can also be used for work). Not only can it play the role as a video or a television but also bridge you and someone else who is far away through the internet(but also 后好像有点不通顺，bridge也应该是play the role后所接的，因此我个人觉得改为but also a bridge which one and his friends, who are far away, to communicate via the Internet) . You (one更客观些） can chat with people from all over the world even though you do not know each other, how exciting it is!（关于感叹句的用法，偶上新东方时老师强调过最后在分析性文章中不要加入感情色彩。不知道对否，反正偶是没有发现一篇ETS的范文用过感叹句的。所以不赞成使用 ：）
However, it should be noted that the effects of new technologies are not always positive. Sometimes we use the phrase technological dualism to refer to the fact that technological changes often have both positive and negative effects. The negative effects are caused mainly for three reasons. First, the complexity of society and （the) development make some technologies brought(make...brought?) negative consequences. In the case of medical technology, the development of cures for vital illnesses helps the population grow faster. Then techniques that improve crop yields or permit long-term storage of food make it possible to support a larger population with a given amount of farmland. It is obvious that these technologies aim good but they help create one of the most serious problems today: the population is too large and is growing too fast. Second, misusage of technologies creates problems. The most striving example involves the environmental problem. With advanced techniques, tree-cutting have become much easier and faster, deforestation results in bad air( polluted air) and the disappear(disappearance) of many spices of organisms. Finally, because of the weak points of human nature, technology make( makes) some problems more serious. Developments in military technology make more people died because of wars. Thieves and robbers with advanced tools have the capacity to do a greater(改为harm more) than before. But still, it is unfair to claim that technology creates more problems than it solves. Most of the problems mentioned above can be eventually solved by new technology or even avoid（avoided) with more control of technology and the emphasis of moral.
In the final analysis, technology would amount to a double-edged sword. On the one hand it can solve problems and enhance the quality of human life. On the other hand, it can also bring negative consequences. We should neither be afraid of technology nor overlook the problems it has brought.
偶看完后第一大感觉就是不大明白作者观点，可能这和作者对论题的两分法有关吧。当然，这种同意一半反对一半的东东最难写了。
但是，偶个人觉得作者文章结构不够紧凑，感觉不像是一篇文章。如二三段，作者就提出一个观点，然后一 二 三点说明，基本上都是用例子在堆砌，没有自己的分析。反映不出思维的逻辑性。
当然你的第一段我还是比较喜欢的，简单严明，几句话就写出了你的观点。
例子方面我觉得你能想到这么多固然不错，但选择性地用用，不要堆砌。
最后一点纯属个人喜好，我觉得除了在2 3段开头一句提出自己观点外，在结尾部分也应该一句话总结一下，这样思路更清晰。
恩，就这么多了。纯属偶10G后的个人经验及意见。我只说了缺点没有说优点，因此刻薄了一些，不好意思。我并不是说你这篇I就不好了，还是有很多可取之处的。
继续加油了~~：） 谢了。
看来我要加油了
堆砌例子主要是凑字数，我会注意，再次感谢：） 麻烦你看看置顶的帖子，请按规定的格式发文章啊
页:
[1]