ISSUE196，这是我今天的第二篇，科技类，写了一个小时：（
ISSUE196. Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.Developing at an extraordinarily rapid speed, technology, which plays a vital role in the social progress, has from time to time effected our life, both solving the old problems and creating new ones. The dilemma between the development in technology and the threat it brings about has currently brought into focus. The speaker maintains that technology creates more problems than it solves, which may damage the quality of life. In my view, his or her assertion seems absolute, and doesn't carry much weight. As far as I am concerned, technology brings us more benefits than damages.
First, progress in science and technology has apparently raised the quality of human life with substantial improvement in clothing, food, housing, transportation and other daily necessities, although not all the progress seems so optimistic such as pollution, nuclear weapons, etc. However, it is admitted by all that the trend of the scientific development is on the whole favorable; the goals of all the technological inventions are to improve rather than decrease the quality of life. Take the invention of cell phone for example. With the widely application of cell phone, people are able to chat with friends and relatives very far away, which could be imagined in the old days when even a letter took a few days to meet its receiver in the same city. Although it has been reported that cell phones may have radiation to human beings, the production and sale of cell phone in the world are always on the rise.
Another advantage that technology progress brings us is the demand for self-improvement in order to meet the needs of scientific development. As we all know, a few decades ago students in high schools are required to learn only language and mathematics for it was unnecessary for the children to study the profound knowledge like physics, chemistry, biology, etc. in the society where science and technology was developing at a comparatively lower speed. Nevertheless, things are different nowadays, when all the subjects mentioned above are required in high schools in order to meet what the technological development needs. Apparently, with the enhancement in the individual qualities which results from the progress of science and technology, the whole nation will enjoy the benefits.
Admittedly, not all progress brings us prosperity, such as the unemployment stemmed from the invention of assembly line; the isolation and difference resulted from the widely application of electronic communication media, and the growing gaps between the developing countries and developed ones. However, all the advancement, actually, is the process of solving old problems by means of replacing new ones. Once problems exist, the progress of human being will never cease. In a sense, problems are the motivation of technological development. Even not all the troubles can get immediate solutions, the belief remains that for every problem there is a rational solution.
In a word, the progress in science and technology is on the whole delightful and rewarding. Our life changes with every impulse of the technology. Although not all the changes are beneficial, it is the belief in a brighter future that gives us optimism and courage to carry on what we are engaging in now. 第一段开头的句子好象有点儿过长过复杂了
第二段中
With the widely application of cell phone, people are able to chat with friends and relatives very far away, which could(could or couldn't??如果用could的话 应该写which could be only imagined加only 吧?) be imagined in the old days when even a letter took a few days to meet its receiver in the same city. (when a letter had to spend a few days to meet the receiver in the same city更好些?)
句子似乎还是过于复杂了
本段最后一句话说虽然有手机辐射 但是销量还是上升 销量上升并不能直接说明它改善人民生活啊 可能人们都没意识到危险呢?
第四段 SORRY 刚才按错键提交了
第四段
the isolation and difference resulted from the widely application of electronic communication media,
这里的difference是想说人情淡漠吗?是不是应该用indifference?
最后一段
In a word, the progress in science and technology is on the whole delightful and rewarding(on the whole delightful and rewarding??是不是漏写了什么??). Our life changes with every impulse of the technology. Although not all the changes are beneficial, it is the belief in a brighter future that gives us optimism and courage to carry on what we are engaging in now.
你的观点是科技还是好处更多些 但是文章主体论证部分感觉强度不够 手机那个例子显得过于单薄 这部分加强些就好了 还有文章有些句子过于冗长 不用那么长也好拉:)
ANYWAY 第二篇文章写这样很不错啊:) 用词造句都挺好 孙远的工具书看样子背了不少 哈哈
加油加油 汗~~~~这只是昨天的第二篇。。。
anyway，你的建议我收到，马上就下线去修改！！
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科技类196. Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.
Developing at an extraordinarily rapid speed, technology, which plays a vital role in the social progress, has from time to time effected(用affect比较好吧) our life, both solving the old problems and creating new ones. The dilemma between the development in technology and the threat it brings about has currently brought into focus. The speaker maintains that technology creates more problems than it solves, which may damage the quality of life. In my view(有这个短语吗? 不明白中), his or her assertion seems absolute, and doesn't(你也犯这种用缩写形式的错误???) carry much weight. As far as I am concerned, technology brings us more benefits than damages.
First, progress in science and technology has apparently raised the quality of human life with substantial improvement in clothing, food, housing, transportation and other daily necessities, although not all the progress seems so optimistic such as pollution, nuclear weapons, etc. However, it is admitted by all that the trend of the scientific development is on the whole favorable; the goals of all the technological inventions are to improve rather than decrease the quality of life. Take the invention of cell phone for example. With the widely application of cell phone, people are able to chat with friends and relatives very far away, which could be imagined in the old days when even a letter took a few days to meet its receiver in the same city. Although it has been reported that cell phones may have radiation to human beings, the production and sale of cell phone in the world are always on the rise. 总结总结 段落总结呢????
Another advantage that technology progress brings us is the demand for self-improvement in order to meet the needs of scientific development. As we all know, a few decades ago students in high schools are required to learn only language and mathematics for it was unnecessary for the children to study the profound knowledge like physics, chemistry, biology, etc. in the society where science and technology was developing at a comparatively lower speed. Nevertheless, things are different nowadays, when all the subjects mentioned above are required in high schools in order to meet what the technological development needs. Apparently, with the enhancement in the individual qualities which results from the progress of science and technology, the whole nation will enjoy the benefits. 这一段没有什么地方可以改哦~~~
Admittedly, not all progress brings us prosperity, such as the unemployment stemmed from the invention of assembly line;(这里用分号吗? 我有疑问也, 因为你的后面的这个根本不是一个句子呀) the isolation and difference resulted from the widely application of electronic communication media, and the growing gaps between the developing countries and developed ones. However, all the advancement, actually, is the process of solving old problems by means of replacing new ones. Once problems exist, the progress of human being will never cease. In a sense, problems are the motivation of technological development. Even not all the troubles can get immediate solutions, the belief remains that for every problem there is a rational solution.
In a word, the progress in science and technology is on the whole delightful and rewarding. Our life changes with every impulse of the technology. Although not all the changes are beneficial, it is the belief in a brighter future that gives us optimism and courage to carry on what we are engaging in now.
一个小时,529个字.
其实JJ的语法错误几乎没有 句子也很不错
结构 就是最普通的两正一反结构
论述的也很清楚
逻辑够了 现在就是语言 好象还是需要更多的锤炼 句式很丰富 但是不够漂亮(其实我自己的也是这个问题)
我不行了 要睡 先说到这里 明天来看妞妞的回复~~~
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