Valentiner 发表于 2004-2-10 23:49:50

ISSUE214,停了三天后再写,感觉水平直线下降,希望大家多多拍砖!

ISSUE214  Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

With the increasing emphasis on education, a growing concern about the gifted children has brought into focus. The speaker asserts that the children with special talents and abilities should be offered a training at an early age so that they can be superior to others in the future, or their gifts will probably decay. As for me, I agree with this point of view, because the gifted children call for a particular kind of education, which can fully develop their innate talents and lead to their later success.

Firstly, early education plays an indispensable role to fully develop the abilities of the children, especially those who possess special gifts, for the innate talents may become invalid after the specified date unless being exploited. According to a recent survey by several educationalists and socialists in Greenwich University in Britain, over 80 percent of those, who have excelled in politics, literature, art, and science, etc., ever had received early education so that they could find their own superiority over the average, which laid the foundation of their present success. As almost all the subjects mentioned, but for the training at very early age, their talents would not be quarried, and they hardly obtain the present achievements. Innate gifts are the one of the resources of success, but if not developed in time it will probably turn into wastes.

What's more, if cultivated properly at an early time, the talent children tend to have a feeling of superiority over the average in memorizing, comprehension, organization, and leadership, etc., which may spark their interests in learning, and directly lead their later excellence. Here is a story about one of my friend, who has mastered three different foreign languages at the age of 23. The key to his excellence is the early cultivation to spark his interest in language by his father. When his father realized that he had a gift in language, he made every effort to develop his interest by simply teaching some foreign words and pronunciations. With the help of his father, he gradually became confident in his ability of language, so that he was willing to learn it. Albert Einstein once said (and I paragraph) that interest is the best teacher. My friend's success is a wonderful case to support Einstein's words. But just imagine that without his early training (although very simple), how could he take an interest?

As far as children are concerned, overemphasis, however, may not only obscure the significance of all-around development, but also result in overload to the kids. Since talent children attract more concern, they have to face greater pressure, which may lead to various problems, such as suicide for the sake of failure in competition, psychological distortion, and indifference to others. If not tackled well, those problems may not only hamper the further progress, but also destroy the children's innate talents. Measures should be taken to find the balance point between the innate talents and later exploitation. Fortunately, the two are not mutually exclusive, so it is totally possible to reconcile them. The perfect combination can doubtlessly benefit both children and society.

To sum up, special talents and abilities are the precious wealth of a child. Once nurtured early and utilized properly, they doubtlessly benefit their further progress. On the contrary, if unnoticed or abused, it will bring about a huge waste or destruction to the children's gifts. In a word, early education may not guarantee the success, but the pay-off will be worth the efforts.
这篇文章写得很艰难,倒不是因为它难写,而是我在这中途经历了一次死机,一次丢失文档,总是弄了三次再把它写完整。文章的最初思路我自己都不记得是什么了,反正七改入改就成现在这样子了,再加上我将近四天什么也没写,一定差得不行了,大家一定多拍砖啊~~~~~

gdhdanny 发表于 2004-2-11 01:14:24

With the increasing emphasis on education, a growing concern about the gifted children has brought into focus. The speaker asserts that the children with special talents and abilities should be offered a training(training可数么,记不太清了,感觉是个抽象词,应该不可数吧) at an early age so that they can be superior to others in the future, or(or的转折太轻了吧在这里) their gifts will probably decay. As for me, I agree with this point of view, because the gifted children call for a particular kind of education, which can (help)fully develop their innate talents and lead to their later success.

Firstly, early education plays an indispensable role to fully develop the abilities of the children, especially those who possess special gifts, for the innate talents may become invalid after the specified date unless being exploited. According to a recent survey by several educationalists and socialists in Greenwich University in Britain, over 80 percent of those, who have excelled in politics, literature, art, and science, etc., ever had received early education so that they could find their own superiority over the average, which laid the foundation of their present success. As almost all the subjects mentioned, but for the training at very early age, their talents would not be quarried, and they(could) hardly obtain the present achievements. Innate gifts are the one of the resources of success, but if not developed in time it will probably turn into wastes.

What's more, if cultivated properly at an early time, the talent children tend to have a feeling of superiority over the average in memorizing, comprehension, organization, and leadership, etc., which may spark their interests in learning, and directly lead their later excellence. Here is a story about one of my friend, who has mastered three different foreign languages at the age of 23. The key to his excellence is the early cultivation to spark his interest in language by his father. When his father realized that he had a gift in language, he made every effort to develop his interest by simply teaching some foreign words and pronunciations. With the help of his father, he gradually became confident in his ability of language, so that he was willing to learn it. Albert Einstein once said (and I paragraph(paraphrase)) that interest is the best teacher. My friend's success is a wonderful case to support Einstein's words. But just imagine that without his early training (although very simple), how could he take an interest?

As far as children are concerned, overemphasis(on what?说清楚好些吧), however, may not only obscure the significance of all-around development, but also result in overload to the kids. Since talent children attract more concern, they have to face greater pressure, which may lead to various problems, such as suicide for the sake of failure in competition, psychological distortion, and indifference to others. If not tackled (with)well, those problems may not only hamper the further progress, but also destroy the children's innate talents. Measures should be taken to find the balance point between the innate talents and later exploitation(要找的平衡点应该是开发的程度吧,从不开发到过度开发). Fortunately, the two are not mutually exclusive, so it is totally possible to reconcile them. The perfect combination can doubtlessly benefit both children and society.

To sum up, special talents and abilities are the precious wealth of a child. Once nurtured early and utilized properly, they doubtlessly benefit their(the child’s) further progress. On the contrary, if unnoticed or abused, it will bring about a huge waste or destruction to the children's gifts. In a word, early education may not guarantee the success, but the pay-off will be worth the efforts.

Valentiner不要这么谦虚,看了你几篇文章觉得总是在进步啊。  :)

这篇文章语言上和结构上的优点就不说了

让步的那一段感觉力度欠一点,可能是没有具体事例吧。其实举个仲勇的例子,就叫once an ancient Chinese boy完全可以了。当然不加也没什么,确实很到位了已经。嘿嘿

加油加油

crusade 发表于 2004-2-11 01:50:32

谈一点偶不成熟的看法
语法上看不出多大的毛病,不说了
body 1 讲早期教育的必要性(原因),因为过期就变质了,但好像举例不能支持论点啊. 那个例子只能说明早期教育的作用,归到下一段到是可以. 可以编个研究什么的:3岁以前XX能力充分开发的话就能在将来远远超于常人, 以后再开发就越来越晚了, 你觉得这样是否更支持论点呢?
body 2好像没什么大问题
body3 就是这句As far as children are concerned, overemphasis, however, may not only obscure the significance of all-around development, but also result in overload to the kids.  overemphaisi on什么呢?是早期教育嘛?
问题来了, 下面说少年天才由于受关注而面临压力,导致一系列问题, 但这里1 >和早期教育的关系在哪呢?我知道你的意思, 但要说清楚吧, 不要越级论证
2> 只有天才孩童才会面临这种问题嘛? 很多天才中年, 也会有这种问题吧, 这点我觉得要论证清楚. 是过分强调早期教育导致孩童在心智不成熟时就面临压力, 而这时他们的心理还没有完善到抵抗一般压力的地步,这使得他们更容易受压力的伤害,更脆弱, 所以更容易自杀,害怕失败等等.
偶觉得只要论证清楚了, 例子到不一定得举
一家之见, 呵呵 :D

Valentiner 发表于 2004-2-11 10:09:55

伤仲永的例子我当时一看到题目就想到了,可是,我曾经看到有人说,在写作文时,最好不要用中国的例子,所以就犹豫着没敢用.
不知道大家怎么看?

simonhui 发表于 2004-2-11 10:24:26

我觉得 伤仲永的例子还是可以用的,对于论证很有力度啊。
写的时候多描述一下过程,比如加上仲永他爹带着仲永到处作诗,给阅卷人的感觉可能会更真实一些。

wglxh 发表于 2004-2-11 10:48:25

随便找找毛病.开头不错,可惜不通.
With the increasing emphasis on education, a growing concern about the gifted children has brought into focus.
首先, 应该是has been
其次,这么说简直不通!!!用一个表示瞬间动作的BRING INTO FOCUS来接一个逐渐的过程,荒谬!而且很罗嗦,建议:Nowadays,the education on gifted children  has attracted......记住,慎用被动语态.顺便说一句,看不出首段开始强调"越来越重视教育"有任何意义,既然你想说"伤仲永",就意味着你认为教育历史上就受重视,事实上也确实如此.

galaxysong 发表于 2004-2-11 11:10:08

Valentiner, you are too modest. Your high quality issue bespeaks your thorough study on model issues and your diligence in practising. I will be very satisfied with myself if I accomplish  in my test an issue like yours.

so猫 发表于 2004-2-11 12:29:35

就语言来说 我觉得我没有必要再跟你说了 我觉得已经很好了
至于逻辑 我同意三楼的观点
总觉得里面有一点跳跃思维的成分
body1 早期教育的重要性
body2 适当的早期教育的重要性
我个人感觉 1 2其实是在说 同样的东西的 但是弄成两段 感觉两段都是破碎的
而且事实上也原本可以变成两个独立的问题哪来考虑的
不过1 2都提到"天才"(有特长的就算 不是指那种超级聪聪的)儿童
如果我来写 我可能1段就不写天才了 就老老实实交代清楚早期教育适当和重要 然后二段主攻为什么对天才小孩子更有效果
body3 让步 走极端

其实 你写的已经让我口水了~~~~~

Valentiner 发表于 2004-2-12 22:13:10

ISSUE214,修改版,并附上和GG讨论的内容

ISSUE 214
Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

With the increasing emphasis on education, a growing concern about how to train gifted children has been brought into focus. In my view, the children with special talents and abilities should be trained at an early age, just as the speaker maintains, so that they can be superior to others in their areas of abilities in the future and therefore eventually lead a successful career. Otherwise the talents are very likely to be dormant forever.

Firstly, early education has a significant impact on the development of children’s abilities, especially those who possess special gifts, for the innate talents may become invalid after the specified date unless being exploited. According to a recent survey by several educationalists and socialists in Greenwich University in Britain, the ability of a child’s imitation is best be exploited below the age of three, for it is harder to develop the imitation ability when the child is growing older. The research also indicates that over 70 percent of those who excel at imitating usually received more or less the training for imitating when they are under the age of three. It is through early education that the innate and maybe hided gifts of a child can be activated and the foundation for the future success can be set up.

What's more, if cultivated properly at an early time, the talent children tend to have a feeling of superiority over the average in memorizing, comprehension, organization, and leadership, etc., which may spark their interests in learning, and directly lead to their later excellence. Here is a story about one of my friend, who has mastered three different foreign languages at the age of 23. The key to his excellence is the early cultivation to spark his interest in language by his father. When his father realized that he had a gift in language, he made every effort to develop his interest by simply teaching him some words and pronunciations in foreign language. With the help of his father, he gradually became confident in his ability of language, so that he was willing to learn it. Albert Einstein once said (and I paraphrase) that interest is the best teacher. My friend's success is a wonderful case to support Einstein's words. But just imagine that without his early training (although very simple), how could he take an interest?

As far as children are concerned, overemphasis on the training to the gifted children, however, may not only obscure the significance of all-around development, but also result in overload to the kids. Since talent children attract more concern, they have to face greater pressure. Nevertheless, they are merely at an age that is either physically or mentally mature, so that too much burden may lead to various problems, such as suicide for the sake of failure in competition, psychological distortion, and indifference to others. The talent children’s families and teachers usually tend to more eagerly hope their kids to have a brighter future. The hope and wishes are always considered as motivation, however, sometimes it is pressure, or even obstacle for the children. If not tackled well, those problems may not only hamper the further progress, but also destroy the children's innate talents. Measures should be taken to find the balance between the early education and all-around development, including the establishment of a right worldview, good living habits, and active attitude towards life. Fortunately, the above-mentioned two are not mutually exclusive, so it is totally possible to reconcile them. The perfect combination can doubtlessly benefit children in the long run.

To sum up, special talents and abilities are the precious wealth of a child. Once nurtured early and utilized properly, they will surely contribute to their further progress. On the contrary, if the talents and abilities remain unnoticed or abused, it will bring about a huge waste or destruction to the children's gifts. In a word, early education may not guarantee the success, but the pay-off will be worth the efforts.

本想发到上次这篇的后面的,可是不知道为什么却找不着上次那篇了,只好再帖一次了.这篇文章由于比较经典,和很多人讨论过.下面是GG在看了我的文章后给我的一些建议,帖出来大家一起讨论讨论.

下面都是GG在看了我这篇文章的原稿后发给我的话:
"我觉得这个题目重点,一 identify(怎么判断一个小孩 她到底有没有天赋,你没提到) 二 早期教育和日后成才的关系 三 是不是不早期教育 天赋就被浪费了(因为这个题中用的是likely 所以我觉得没什么太多好讲的)
这几天我看了写ets的6分文章 和 评语 我觉得最主要的就是要讲出一个问题的complexity,讲出了这个 解体上就没问题了
就这个题目 我想 第一个问题是 社会有没有能力判断出谁有天赋,谁没有天赋, 是不是有很多有天赋的小孩没有被社会identify出来,社会判断的准则是什么?我觉得社会没有一个成功的标准,能判断出所有的天才,有相当一部分找不出.
第二个 是不是早期教育可以促进天才的成长,而且就一定能有所成功,我觉得这里要注意的是 根据这个题目的上下文 这里的早期教育似乎是指在小孩有天赋的方面 进行的专门训练,我觉得这个是不可取的,会妨碍全面发展, 而且有可能他对别的感兴趣, 那就打击了学习兴趣吧 所以教育应该全面(这里 你应该知道兴趣和天赋 是两码事了吧),而且方法不当还会导致你说的那些弊病.
第三个 要承认的是早期教育 确实有推动作用……
我觉得这样子 就将出了这个问题的复杂性
最后的一个结论:社会应该对每个孩子进行全面的适当的早期教育,而那些能看出天赋的给一些少量的专业训练,但是不要妨碍兴趣."

我觉得他说的第一个方面,很对,社会如何来判断一个小孩是否有special talents很重要.其实像好多天才,小的时候看上去并不像天才反面有些举止怪异,如果能够极早发现他们的天赋,加于正确的培养,是一定对他今后的发展有好处的.爱因斯坦就是个很好的论据.可是我不知道如何把这个分论点加到我的文章中去.我的第一和第二的BODY联系的比较紧,自认为不好分开.但如果把这一点放到最后,却又觉得分量有些轻.但放到开关,似乎更为不妥.在这里想听听大家是怎么看的?
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