ISSUE71 先限时，然后又改的
Issue71" spending time alone makes one a better companion to others."
提纲：
1 学会独处使人更加珍惜和伙伴的关系
2 学会独处才能更好的理解别人，从别人的角度出发看问题。
3 伙伴关系本身就不意味着成天在一起，没有自己的空间。
正文：
With the rapid development of globalization, the importance of collaboration between different people has become more and more conspicuous. As a result, many people claim that people should be spend more time on considering how to be a good companion to others rather than spending time alone. However, in my point of view, just like a person who wants to become a successful runner should first learn how to walk, a person intends to be a good partner of others should experience the procedure of spending time alone.
First and foremost, it is very hard for the person who has not went through loneliness to cherish the opportunity of having companions. As is known to all, human beings are social animals, which means the survival of human beings is due to the capability of cooperating with others and helping each other. But the question now facing human beings is how can we let our decedents realize the necessity of this kind of capability. It is not difficult to spot the phenomenon that many young people quarrel with their friends and even break up their friendship for some triviality. They establish the companionship on a kind of impulsion of interest rather than dependence of emotion. Consequently, spending time alone is becoming an effective method by which people can undergo the misery caused by solitude thus making them better understand the valuable meaning of companionship.
In this interest-oriented society, people are apt to be individualistic and put more emphasis on their self-centered, separated goals. Consequently, people seldom consider a problem from other people’s positions or point of view. And sometimes the companionship and communication between different people are weakened. The companionship between the younger generation and their parents generation is just a case in point. When a person is in his childhood, especially in China, the child is regarded as the princess of the family by his parents. The parents will try their best to make the child satisfied. This causes many children’s lack of ability to consider others’ feeling when deciding. They take all the love that their parents give them for granted. But when the child enters university where he has to spend time alone, this kind of departure and loneliness make him mature overnight and understand the value of parents’ affection. At the first vocation when he returns home and notices the wrinkle on his father's forehead and his mother's gray hair, he will feel a kind of guilt and truly comprehend their parents for the first time.
What is more, being a partner to others doesn't necessarily mean that there should not be any independent space between you. After all, different people have different habits, interests, and ways of thinking, consequently, leaving some private space between you and your companions to think and spend alone can to some extent enhance your friendship or relationship. Independent thinking can be constructive to have a objective and deep understanding of your partner and vice visa. Through this kind of understanding, you can find the problems which may undermine the friendship between you and your partners and settle them down timely.
Although the society is a big web, and we are the knots on the web which are closely linked with each other, we are independent identities as well. We have the rights and necessity to take some time alone. I concede that extreme solitude will provide you little chance to become companion to others because it damages the conduit by which communication between you and your partner is carried on. Nevertheless, as long as you can control solitude within a proper degree, it will become a catalyst to your companionship with others. With the rapid development of globalization, the importance of collaboration between different people has become more and more conspicuous. As a result, many people claim that people should be spend more time on considering how to be a good companion to others rather than spending time alone. However, in my point of view, just like a person who wants to become a successful runner should first learn how to walk, a person（who） intends to be a good partner of others should experience the procedure of spending time alone.
First and foremost, it is very hard for the person who has not went（gone） through loneliness（spending time alone 和loneliness还是有区别的） to cherish the opportunity of having companions. As is known to all, human beings are social animals, which means the survival （这个词感觉有点过了）of human beings is due to the capability of cooperating with others and helping each other. But（为什么but?） the question now facing human beings is how can we （we can） let our decedents（descendant?） realize the necessity of this kind of capability. It is not difficult to spot the phenomenon that many young people quarrel with their friends and even break up their friendship for some triviality. They establish （established）the companionship on a kind of impulsion of interest rather than dependence of emotion. Consequently, spending time alone is becoming an effective method by which people can undergo the misery caused by solitude thus making them better understand the valuable meaning of companionship.
这段是想谈hard to cherish the opportunity of having companions。朋友间因为小事的反目成仇是否是没有dependence of emotion的结果？dependence of emotion是否就是要讨论的spending time alone呢？consequence为什么又是一个比另一个effective呢？
In this interest-oriented society, people are apt to be individualistic and put more emphasis on their self-centered, separated（明白你想强调个人的，用respective吧） goals. Consequently, people seldom consider a problem from other people’s positions or point of view（views）. And sometimes the companionship and communication between different people are weakened. The companionship between the younger generation and their parents（parental） generation is just a case in point. When a person is in his（性别问题） childhood, especially in China, the child is regarded as the princess of the family by his parents. The parents will try their best to make the child satisfied（make sb. do）. This（, which） causes many children’s lack of ability to consider others’ feeling when deciding. They take all the love that their parents give them for granted. But when the child enters university where he has to spend time alone, this kind of departure and loneliness make him mature overnight and understand the value of parents’ affection. At the first vocation when he returns home and notices the wrinkle on his father's forehead and his mother's gray hair, he will feel a kind of guilt and truly comprehend their parents for the first time.
后面这个例子很精当！
What is more, being a partner to others doesn't necessarily mean that there should not be any independent space（independent space感觉怪怪的,为什么不直接说independemce呢） between you（这么说不太好吧）. After all, different people have different habits, interests, and ways of thinking, consequently, leaving some private space between you and your companions to think and spend（time）alone can to some extent enhance your friendship or relationship. Independent thinking can be constructive to have a（an） objective and deep understanding of your partner and vice visa. Through this kind of understanding, you can find the problems which may undermine the friendship between you and your partners and settle them down timely.
Although the society is a big web, and we are the knots on the web which are closely linked with each other, we are independent identities as well. We have the rights and necessity to take some time alone. I concede that extreme solitude will provide you little chance to become companion to others because it damages the conduit by which communication between you and your partner is carried on. Nevertheless, as long as you can control solitude within a proper degree, it（这个it指代不清，就直接写solitude不就行了） will become a catalyst to your companionship with others.
先说个直观感觉，因为刚读完最后两段，感觉好多you,your。建议换成one 或者individual
总算看到你的限时之作了，还不错的说，没你形容得那么悲观。
要说优点，首先是提纲写得好，意思很清楚。再就是限时后语言简单了意思反而会比较容易理解。
提点建议吧。首先是写完自己先查一遍，单词拼写、主谓一致、从句的词序，这类问题自己完全可以解决的。另外一点是个人观点，例证的作用是不是应该在于论证TS，如果一段话的结论是从例子中深化出来的，比TS的范围还要扩大姑且还可以接受，可要是从一个例子得出一些特殊结论就有些牵强了。
欢迎讨论 好感动呀，就你一个人理我，这还是我限时后来改的呢，你还没看我限时的原作呢，那才叫残不忍睹呢！
诸如拼写之类的小错下次一定注意。
下面说第二段的问题：
我只是觉得谈hard to cherish the opportunity of having companions是一个和情感有关的话题，其实我就是想表达有些人不重视朋友的感情，只是把朋友的关系建立在一种兴趣的冲动之上，他们认为朋友之间关系的存在是不重要的，所以哪怕一点小事都可以让他们抛弃朋友的感情。而他们的这种行为就说明了他们不知道没有朋友的痛苦，如果他们要是知道的话就不会这样做了。
想了想，你说的也很有道理，可是即便是用中文叙述（就是上面那一段）也会有逻辑问题，就是： 为什么“他们的这种行为就说明了他们不知道没有朋友的痛苦，如果他们要是知道的话就不会这样做了”，这的确很难说清楚。我也不知道了。
还有那个effective， 那不是个比较的关系，我只是说spending time alone是一种有效的方式，并没有说它和谁比是有效的方式。
和本题无关的闲话：
我现在巨没信心，总觉得对每道题都是思维极其的混乱，写了上句不知道下句写什么。我看是没希望了 :( 别占这里的地方了
有事电话联络吧
你绝对应该对自己有信心
看看这里大家热火朝天的干劲，没理由放弃的
to gdhdanny
我把第二段改了，就是说“独处让人珍惜伙伴关系” 原来用的例证法，的确有问题，很难说清楚，我这次用了类比的方法，自己认为表达的很清楚了，你在看看吧First and foremost, it is very hard for the person who has not gone through the experience of spending time alone to cherish the opportunity of having companions. Take freedom for an example in order to make this notion understandable, now you have freedom, and there is only an unclearly conception of freedom in your mind which is freedom is valuable, but how valuable? Probably you cannot give an answer. Only when you are deprived of freedom such as be put into prison, can you understand the truly meaning of freedom. Companionship is just like freedom. Only the person knows the misery caused by solitude thus can get a better understanding of the valuable meaning of companionship. Just like most prisoners who will not commit a crime again because of their fear of being deprived of freedom again, a person who experienced spending time alone will try his/her best to maintain and improve his/her companionship with others, which means They establish the companionship on a kind of dependence of emotion rather than impulsion of interest.
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