issue190,我的第一篇，希望大家指点
题目：As long as people in a society are hungry or out of work or lack the basic skills needed to survive, the use of public resources to support the arts is inappropriate- and, perhaps, even cruel- when one considers all the potential uses of such money.我3月24号考，昨天刚写了第一篇，结果发的格式不对，所以今天再发一次，希望大家多批评。这是在pp2里限时写的，写完有566字，后来自己改了一下，现在是559字。谢谢各位了。
As art seems somewhat less urgent and important than its alternatives for which the public resources may be placed, the arguer considers inappropriate to allocate public money to arts. However, art is not as insignificant as the arguer thinks, and it need the support of our society. Only the amount devoting to it can be negotiated according to the state of the society.
Art is the basic need of human being, not the luxury of the wealthier. The first men painted stylized animal figures and abstract symbols on cave walls, at least 30,000 years ago. For thousands of years people have also adorned their bodies with ornamentation, such as jewelry, pigments, and stylized scars. Modern people pay even more attention to art. Visual effects in movies astound us, well-designed Web pages appeal to us, and gorgeous images in advertising persuade us. We may be poor and cannot afford expensive things, but this does not prevent us from choosing things of better design or color when they are at the same price. Art is so important for every individual that it should be paid great attention to, particularly by the society.
While art is needed by human beings, it is also fragile. It needs help from the society for its growth and culmination. Many artists are in such a poor situation before they are famous that they cannot even pay for their brushes and canvases. Museums and galleries are already short of funds nowadays for their basic activities. Still more, the propagation and publicizing of art need help from the society, since few persons and corporations are interested in such implicitly beneficial projects or able to support them. Art will die in modern societies if we do not give it a helping hand.
Some social problems, such as poverty, unemployment, live as long as the human society, which can not be extirpated at all, and should not be granted as the excuses for not supporting the arts. Poverty is a relative conception and it only exists concurrently with the existence of wealth. People that are wealthy in China may be called poor according to the circumstances of America. Unemployment cannot be eradicated because there will always be people who are changing jobs, who are lazy, or who lack certain ability but do not wish to take the jobs requiring less abilities but giving less pay. If we say as such problems still exist, money should be paid for them rather than the seemingly less important art, we are saying never pay for art at all.
Admittedly, even more social problems are of such an exigent and fundamental nature that failing to solve them will induce instability and much more problems of the society. Such social problems consist of the ones which will jeopardy the predominance of the government and the general good of the people. So when we consider locating money for arts, such factors should be taken into account.
After all, we need art as we need water and food, for our physiological and metal state's good; art need us for its existence and development. In so far as the resources is limited and human also have other needs and social problems, the amount of funds allocating to art should be changed according to different situations. But art is important; we should never fail to give support to it. 有人帮忙指点一下吗？想知道自己水平是不是太臭，要不要推迟作文啊
多谢了啊 555, 还是没人看，算了，放弃了 As art seems somewhat less urgent and important than its alternatives for which the public resources may be placed, the arguer considers (加个it is好象更通顺一点？) inappropriate to allocate public money to arts. However, art is not as insignificant as the arguer thinks, and it need the support of our society. Only the amount devoting to it can be negotiated according to the state of the society.
Art is the basic need of human being, not the luxury of the wealthier. The first men painted stylized animal figures and abstract （注意时态）symbols on cave walls, at least 30,000 years ago. For thousands of years people have also adorned their bodies （用themselves怎么样？）with ornamentation（复数吧？）, such as jewelry, pigments, and stylized scars. Modern people pay even more attention to art. Visual effects in movies astound us, well-designed Web pages appeal to us, and gorgeous images in advertising persuade us. We may be poor and cannot afford expensive things, but this does not prevent us from choosing things of better design or color when they are at the same price. Art is so important for every individual that it should be paid great attention to, particularly by the society.
这段你想说明艺术对人的重要性，但是我觉得你所举的例子好象不是很支持你的论点。
While art is needed by human beings, it is also fragile. It needs help from the society for its growth and （我觉得说get the culmination好象更好一点）culmination. Many artists are in such a poor situation before they are famous that they cannot even pay for their brushes and canvases. Museums and galleries are already short of funds nowadays for their basic activities. Still more, the propagation and publicizing of art need help from the society, since few persons and corporations are interested in such implicitly beneficial projects or able to support them. Art will die in modern societies if we do not give it a helping hand（有这种表达吗？）.
Some social problems, such as poverty, unemployment, live as long as the human society, which can not be extirpated at all, and should not be granted as the excuses for not supporting the arts. Poverty is a relative conception and it only exists concurrently with the existence of wealth. People that are wealthy in China may be called poor according to the circumstances of America. Unemployment cannot be eradicated because there will always be people who are changing jobs, who are lazy, or who lack certain ability but do not wish to take the jobs requiring less abilities but giving less pay. If we say as such problems still exist, money should be paid for them rather than the seemingly less important art, we are saying never pay for art at all.
论述贫困问题，好象和题目关系不大，扯的有点远了。
Admittedly, even more social problems are of such an exigent and fundamental nature that failing to solve them will induce instability and much more problems of the society. Such social problems consist of the ones which will jeopardy the predominance of the government and the general good of the people. So when we consider locating money for arts, such factors should be taken into account.
和你想说明的观点好象也没有什么联系吧？
After all, we need art as we need water and food, for our physiological and metal state's good; art need us for its existence and development. In so far as the resources is limited and human also have other needs and social problems, the amount of funds allocating to art should be changed according to different situations. But art is important; we should never fail to give support to it.
不好意思，因为时间原因，就仔细看了一下你文章的前两段的语法问题，后面几段主要看的是思路，所以语法问题你就自己再检查一下吧，好吗？
先说语言吧，总体上看还可以，只是个别单复数、时态问题再注意一下
来说思路吧，我觉得你写的有点跑题。
题目要论述的是在人们缺少维持生活的基本技能的时候是否需要艺术支持，你先论述艺术对人的重要性，可以，但是后面论述贫困问题好象就不太合适了。
我觉得这道题的题眼是人们缺少维持生活的基本技能时是否还可能把资金用于艺术上，因为题目的最后一句话讲的就是有人企图侵吞给予艺术的资金。
是不是可以从艺术能给予人心灵上的激励，鼓励穷人摆脱贫困等方面入手呢？我觉得着重应该是写两者的关系。
不过，第一篇嘛，都是这样的，别灰心！加油加油！
你的语言还是很值得我学习的！ 多谢指教。
果然是很多错误啊，自己居然没能检查出来~~~
不过有几个地方还是没错的吧：
abstract （注意时态）symbols --这里的abstract 是adj 啊，可能没写清楚
ornamentation是不可数名词
应该是lend a helping hand,hoho
跑题倒确实是跑了，55
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