issue161~好久没写了~手生~~
"In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."Every one of us has the inclination to grow into a hero when we are young. Unfortunately, most of the people in the society become ordinary-"unworthy", some of them may say. Yet in modern society, with the coverage of intensive media, it seems easy to gain a reputation as hero through media. Is it true, or does this reputation as a hero last forever? The answer is complex that a simple yes or no can represent.
In the eyes of most of the individuals, the word "hero" implies not only a simple noun referred to a man or woman with high moral standards or great achievement, but also social approval making a person to become God, at least, a perfect person. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, a hero firstly is an ordinary person. What differs a hero from others is whether he sticks to his belief and how he strives to reach for the goal, of the individual himself, or of the public. From this point of view, the common American soldiers in the battlefields in World War 2 are heroes; the reporters in Afghanistan are heroes; also, the lawyers in Iraq who run for the human rights of the women and children are heroes. Undoubtedly, these all kinds of people are heroes.
Unfortunately, majorities of these people who should have been taken as heroes of the nation and the world remain quiet through his life, since they have no opportunity to exhibit their achievement and contribution. At this moment, media is a preferable way to tell the public the truth and to own for these heroes their deserved respects and praises from the public. Not to mention the publish of the story about Linch last year, just think about the film about a young lady in Poland offering her house as a secret hiding place for the Jews in the World War 2, without which no one in the world may praise them as hero.
Admittedly, with the time flying, some “heroes” are forgot by the public or ironically discovered that the things they claimed to have done are out of imagination and exaggeration by media. The experience of Linch is the best example supporting this point of view. Yet for the heroine from Poland, people still remember her brave action and high moral standards till today. Thus, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that all the heroes known through the media method will diminish. For the people who indeed do something beneficial for society, public and society will always memorize the encouraging behavior and marvelous morals regardless the method by which the story is told.
An old saying goes like this: “easy come, easy go.” Media is a mysterious tool that can make someone great in merely one night. Heroes, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, to great extent is a dream in childhood. Adults have to possess a consciousness that the reputation cannot last forever if it as a whole is creation of media. On the other hand, the memory and reputation towards people in ordinary position in the society will stand still regardless of the scrutiny by media.
自己感觉非常不好 勉勉强强刚好45分钟的样子
字数不算多 凑合过 内容就~
自己实在看着不爽 就做了很大的改动 倒数第二段基本上是重写的 当然算了下重写一段也只写了10分钟的样子
果然好久不写质量就是狂降~~~~~~faint~~~
谁帮忙改的谢啦~ "In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."
Every one of us has the inclination to grow into a hero when we are young. Unfortunately, most of the（去掉） people in the society become ordinary-"unworthy",（是不是要用复数阿，还有逗号前后的两个单句没有联接词） some of them may say. Yet in modern society, with the coverage of intensive media, it seems easy to gain a reputation as (a) hero through media. Is it true, or does this reputation as a hero last forever? The answer is complex that a simple yes or no can (cannot) represent. (换成answer是不是好一点？)
In the eyes of most of the individuals（most individuals）, the word "hero" implies not only a simple noun referred to a man or woman with high moral standards or great achievement, but also social approval making a person to become God, at least, a perfect person.(写得很工整) Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, a hero firstly is an ordinary person. What differs a hero from others is whether he sticks to his belief and how he strives to reach for（？？） the goal, （逗号去掉）of the individual（去掉） himself, or of the public. From this point of view, the common American soldiers in the battlefields in World War 2 are heroes; the reporters in Afghanistan are heroes; also, the lawyers in Iraq who run for the human rights of the（the 去掉） women and children are heroes. Undoubtedly, these all （all these?）kinds of people are heroes.
英雄的定义及内涵。找了半天没有看见你的ts
Unfortunately, majorities of these people who should have been taken as heroes of the nation and the world remain quiet（unknown） through(?) his life(their lives), since they have no opportunity to exhibit their achievement and contribution (复数啦). At this moment, media is a preferable way (媒体是一个合适的途径？)to tell the public the truth and to own for （去掉）these heroes their deserved respects and praises from the public. Not to mention the publish（这个是动词） of the story about Linch last year, just think about the film （出版物和电影不都是媒体吗？何必套用这样的句型，用个both就行了呗，搞了半天才知道两个说的是一个人，既然是一个人，后面为什么不用the 啦）about a young lady in Poland offering her house as a secret hiding place for the Jews in the World War 2, without which（指代不清楚） no one in the world may praise them as hero(既然是一句话，那说的应该是一个人，为什么后面会出现them啊，还不用复数，而且那个linch好像是女的heroine)
媒体可以创造英雄。Ts在这一段的中间。
Admittedly, with the time flying, some “heroes” are forgot (forgotten) by the public or ironically discovered that the things they claimed to have done are out of imagination and exaggeration by media.(晕了，写得没有前面的工整,又是and又是or的) The experience of Linch is the best example supporting this point of view. Yet for the heroine from（in） Poland,(还不如说是for 波兰人) people still remember her brave action and high moral standards till today. Thus, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that all the heroes known through the media method will diminish. For the people who indeed do something beneficial for society, public and society will always memorize the encouraging behavior and marvelous morals regardless the method by which the story is told. （后面这句话和前面那句感觉好像啊,重复）
即使媒体创造的英雄会被人们遗忘，但是他们的事迹和高尚的道德会被社会及人们永记。Ts在最后面
An old saying goes like this: “easy come, easy go.” Media is a mysterious tool that can make someone great in merely one night. Heroes, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, to great extent is a dream in childhood. Adults have to possess a consciousness that the reputation cannot last forever if it as a whole is （a）creation of media. On the other hand, the memory and reputation towards people in ordinary position in the society will stand still regardless of the scrutiny by media.(最后一句话写得不好)
45分钟能写出这样的文章，很厉害。思路清楚，逻辑合理。但是语法小错误有一点多，可能是很久没有写的原因吧/还有一个问题，为什么不把ts在一段的开头就提出来？这样好像会清晰的多呢。加油！ 恩 这个TS的问题写在中间的时候我自己都发现了
觉得可能的确是很久没有写了 模板的痕迹好象已经不是那么明显了
但是这个TS 有规定一定要在开头说吗 恩 晕忽忽 可能范文看多了吧 人反倒糊涂了~
不过好象的确不是很符合ETS那帮老家伙的胃口哦~
第一段的answer 怎么可能再用咧 那句话的主语不就是answer吗
第二段 什么两个人是一个人 linch & the woman in poland是两个人 两个人!!!!!!!!! 完了 我的表达让我流泪了的说~~~~
结尾我再想想看怎么掰
谢谢修改哈~~~~~~~~~ 鱼的宝贝改的很好哦！
给你提几个小意见
1。你的MEDIA对塑造/破灭英雄这一点论述的很不充分，如果说的严厉一点就是偏题了。你虽然举了一个与MEDIA有关的英雄的例子，但是我很可以反驳你说那只是一个特例。在你没有充分论述MEDIA的作用时，这样的例子是不足信的。所以，你还需要大量补充对MEDIA的角色和功能到底如何的论述。
2。你开头定义了现代的“英雄”，这很好，给你自己划了一个可以防御的圈子。但是你没有就此伸展开去，这个定义是很适合后面讲到MEDIA的“破灭”功能的，很有力，可惜你对MEDIA的论述太弱，前面的好处也用不上了。
3。你的语言上小问题还很多，建议看看那些经典的帖子，看别人有哪些问题，是怎么被纠正的，对你自己在语言上的细节也有帮助。
暂时想到这些。希望继续加油哦！
也帮其他人多改改哦 In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."
Every one of us has the inclination to grow into a hero when we are young. Unfortunately, most of the people in the society become ordinary-"unworthy", some of them may say（是插入语吗？）. Yet in modern society, with the coverage of intensive media, it seems easy to gain a reputation as （a）hero through media. Is it true, or does this reputation as a hero last forever? The answer is complex that a simple yes or no can represent.(句意不对呀)
In the eyes of most of the individuals, the word "hero" implies not only a simple noun referred to a man or woman with high moral standards or great achievement（单复数觉得不是很顺）, but also social approval差介词 making a person to（不该有to的） become God, at least, a perfect person. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, a hero firstly is an ordinary person. What differs a hero from others is whether he sticks to his belief and how he strives to reach for （不该有for）the goal, of the individual himself, or of the public. From this point of view, the common American soldiers in the battlefields in World War 2 are heroes; the reporters in Afghanistan are heroes; also, the lawyers in Iraq who run for the human rights of the (该用the 吗？)women and children are heroes. Undoubtedly, these all kinds of people are heroes.
Unfortunately, majorities of these people who should have been taken as heroes of the nation and the world remain quiet through his life,（这里的单复数用得很乱） since they have no opportunity to exhibit their achievement and contribution. At this moment, media is a preferable way to tell the public the truth and to own for these heroes their deserved respects and praises from the public. Not to mention the publish （这是动词）of the story about Linch last year, just think about the film about a young lady in Poland offering her house as a secret hiding place for the Jews in the World War 2, without which no one in the world may praise them as hero.（这句的意思没有读懂。）
Admittedly, with the time flying, some “heroes” are forgot（forgotten） by the public or ironically discovered that the things they claimed to have done are out of imagination and exaggeration by media. The experience of Linch is the best example supporting this point of view. Yet for the heroine from Poland, people still remember her brave action and high moral standards till today. Thus, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that all the heroes known through the media method will diminish. For the people who indeed do something beneficial for society, public and society will always memorize the encouraging behavior and marvelous morals regardless the method by which the story is told.
An old saying goes like this: “easy come, easy go.” Media is a mysterious tool that can make someone great in merely one night. Heroes, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, to great extent is a dream in childhood. Adults have to possess a consciousness that the reputation cannot last forever if it as a whole is creation of media. On the other hand, the memory and reputation towards people in ordinary position in the society will stand still regardless of the scrutiny by media.
除了一些语法错误，文章写的很流畅，尤其是最后一段写的很好，猫啊，你的单复数有点乱，
单从文字的角度讲，你的好多句子都写的好好，读起来就是有感觉。有个问题，不知是否是你故意回避的？直接用hero 表示泛指，不去区分“hero or heorine”,这样写起来比较省事，对不？还有就是觉得，你是否没有把焦点放在media and hero 上呢？ 首先 要感谢paisley 第一次给偶改文文哦~~~
还有另外的这只猫 哈哈 也谢谢你罗
意见很中肯 其实我刚写完的那一刹那已经觉得自己走题了 所以才会最后重新写的body3
必须承认 这篇文章 唉 是个失败的作品 要加油了哈~~~~~~
至于单复数问题 以前很多人都给我提过 总是一着急就去考虑整个句子的结构 顾不得这么多了
看来要更努力一点才可以了
再次谢谢你们 但是这个TS 有规定一定要在开头说吗 恩 晕忽忽 可能范文看多了吧 人反倒糊涂了~
不过好象的确不是很符合ETS那帮老家伙的胃口哦~
除非这只猫猫已经炉火纯青了，要不然就委屈一下下了，还是把TS放前面吧，我带了文章给美国一个教授改，据说专门搞文字的，要是来得及放上来研究一下 另外 告诉猫一句哈 forgot是美式forget的过去式哦 呵呵 forgotten是英国的哦 咱们不是考鸭子 还是写forgot吧
make sb do sth 我忘记是不是确切了 但我记得好象在哪里看过 to不省略也是可以D
第一段那个 就是插入语的说 呵呵 观察仔细哦~~~
呵呵 再次谢谢~~ 唉，学了这末久，从来没有注意过英国和美国英语的区别，
只是顺着教育的路走，这些天和大家讨论，学了些美语表达，谢谢大家乐
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