smallpony 发表于 2004-2-24 19:15:47

我的Issue176, 谢谢大家

Issue176
"The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each."
科学的目的是打消疑虑,艺术的目的是颠覆。只有这样,它们才有价值
My article:
I disagree with the author's statement because I believe that the essence of either science or art is much meaningful than his appraisement.

To be objective, the function of science is to explore the miracles of the nature and finally prompt the development of the whole human beings. From the ancientry, people had quested for the arcane phenomenon around them. For example, our ancestors were very curious about how did the fire burn out. When people finally understand the function of fire, they began to use it for cooking, and from then on humans ended up the time of eating raw birds and animals. It is human's curiosity that pushes people to search the essence of natural objects, and in the end the founding can more or less contribute to the progress of humans. In modern society, the function of science can be seen more clearly. Nowadays, the lacking of natural materials, the problem of contamination and the risk of too large population almost become the troubles of all countries on earth. Natural materials such as oil, natural gas, grounds and so on, are kinds of limited and irregenerative, so in the future there must be a day when all of them disappear from the earth. At that time, if people cannot find replacements to satisfy their demanding, the world will drop into great chaos.
Then, science, as the base of technology, helps people face up to the challenges from our future. At present, every country is exerting to explore new form of energy to take the place of natural energy, such as the sun energy, the nuclear energy and the wind energy. People can have a positive foresight towards their future because science is the strongest tool to fight with the difficulties. In addition, another touchy problem cannot be ignored is the problem of large population. Therefore, many developed countries unite together to explore the outer space of the universe. These actions lie on the expectation that if one day the earth can no longer bear more persons, people can rebuild homes on moon or Mar. In a world, science, just like bright sunshine, enlightens the unknown world of human's knowledge and directs people to a positive future.

      On the other hand, the purpose of art is to reveal the inner views and impulses of human beings.  Even in those times when there are no characters, the ancients began to use the form of pictures to describe their feelings and lives. Art, a kind of emotional tool, reflects people's mental and aesthetic pursuit and demanding. Especially books--the literal form of art, has crucial influence on people. And in this high-developed modern society, the public has more time to feel the power brought by those visual and acoustical enjoy. So the function of art is vital to the comprehensive development of people, especially for the young. However, people must admit that sometimes schools and parents cast too much emphasis on the mainstream of inquiry, such as math, chemistry and other courses that have direct relationship with the employment of students rather than help students master the appreciation of art. Therefore, art should be introduced to more people, then people who simplify the meaning of art just like the author of the issue will be less and less.
     
     In fact, these two fields--science and art both have relationship with reassuring and upsetting. On one hand, science answer the problems from people concerning the unknown world and in the procedure of exploring the nature, it continue to bring to people more suspicion and upset the old views that cannot suit for present conditions. On another hand, art can also via various forms, teach to people what is beautiful and what is ugly.
   
   To sum up, the meanings of science and art are adequate, if people want to achieve a complete understanding about them, they should analyze every aspect of the two fields. Then they will no longer commit the same mistake like the author.
(663 words)

trees 发表于 2004-2-25 15:33:57

1。一个小语法错,请检查你的开头。比较句势的比较级词在哪里:)

2。文字的驾御还是不错的。

3。开头很简短很好,但是看到你的倒数第2段时想到,老美一般比较喜欢开门非常见山,所以建议你把倒数第2段摘一写放在开头,或者把最后两段适当合并(推荐),否则按照你的分段方式,尾巴看起来单薄了一点,且有累余的嫌疑(虽然这两段不完全是一个意思)

cysian 发表于 2004-2-25 15:57:55

上新东方时修锐对这到题的解释是
reassure=discover
upset=create
不知道究竟哪种理解正确

smallpony 发表于 2004-2-25 16:59:33

我也是听修锐这样讲的,我觉得不必要抠那么死吧

cysian 发表于 2004-2-25 16:59:56

I disagree with the author's statement because I believe that the essence of either science or art is much meaningful than his appraisement.(
To be objective, the function of science is to explore the miracles of the nature and finally prompt the development of the whole human beings. From (since是不是好些?)the ancientry, people had quested for the arcane phenomenon(复数phenomena?) around them. For example, our ancestors were very curious about how did the fire burn out(how从句做宾语,语序应为顺序). When people finally understand the function of fire, they began to use it for cooking, and from then on humans ended up the time of eating raw birds and animals. It is human's curiosity that pushes people to search the essence of natural objects, and in the end the founding can more or less contribute to the progress of humans. In modern society, the function of science can be seen more clearly. Nowadays, the lacking of natural materials, the problem of contamination and the risk of too large population almost become the troubles of all countries on earth. Natural materials such as oil, natural gas, grounds and so on, are kinds of limited and irregenerative, so in the future there must be a day when all of them disappear from the earth.(are so limited and...that) At that time, if people cannot find replacements to satisfy their demanding(demands), the world will drop into great chaos.

Then, science, as the base of technology, helps people face up to the challenges from our future. At present, every country is exerting to explore new form of energy to take the place of natural energy, such as the sun energy, the nuclear energy and the wind energy. People can have a positive foresight towards their future(can be optimistic for the future)because science is the strongest tool to fight with the difficulties. In addition, another touchy problem cannot be ignored is the problem of large population(一句话有两个problem感觉不好). Therefore, many developed countries unite together to explore the outer space of the universe. These actions lie on the expectation that if one day the earth can no longer bear more persons, people can rebuild homes on moon or Mars(星球前有定冠词). In a world, science, just like bright sunshine, enlightens the unknown world of human's knowledge and directs people to a positive (prospective) future.

On the other hand, the purpose of art is to reveal the inner views and impulses of human beings. Even in those times when there are no characters, the ancients began to use the form of pictures to describe their feelings and lives. Art, a kind of emotional tool, reflects people's mental and (as well as是不是好些?)aesthetic pursuit and demanding. Especially books--the literal form of art, has crucial influence on people. And in this high-developed modern society, the public has more time to feel the power brought by those visual and acoustical enjoy. So the function of art is vital to the comprehensive development of people, especially for the young. However, people must admit that sometimes schools and parents cast too much emphasis on the mainstream of inquiry, such as math(GRE作文最好用全拼吧,看起来更严谨), chemistry and other courses that have direct relationship with the employment of students rather than help students master the appreciation of art. Therefore, art should be introduced to more people, then (and then)people who simplify the meaning of art just like the author of the issue will be less and less.

In fact, these two fields--science and art --both have relationship with reassuring and upsetting. On one hand, science answers(主谓一致)the problems from people concerning the unknown world and in the procedure of exploring the nature, it continues to bring to (bring是及物动词吧)people more suspicion sand upsets the old views that cannot suit for present conditions. On another hand, art can also via various forms, teach to people what is beautiful and what is ugly.

To sum up, the meanings of science and art are adequate, if people want to achieve a complete understanding about them, they should analyze every aspect of the two fields. Then they will no longer commit the same mistake like the author.


我是第一次给别人改作文,所改之处仅为个人意见,如有不当,还望见谅
文章整体感觉还好,结构稍微有点不够紧凑,你觉得哪?

smallpony 发表于 2004-2-25 17:46:07

谢谢,您的意见很中肯,我也是觉得写起来很费劲
页: [1]
查看完整版本: Issue176, 谢谢大家