[每日一评]Issue136原作by猫咪me
导读：这篇文章最大的特点和优点就是提出了一个新的概念，即个人态度决定选择多寡。对于这个题目是一个概念上的创新。记得以前也有人在文章中说过类似的意思，但没有系统化的阐述。
不过缺点也是比较明显的。第一就是重复。尤其在第二主题段表现得非常明显。
在这里我想强调的是要把握好对例子详细分析和和重复的区别。一个意思说一遍即可。多说无益，言多必失。
具体的重复的地方和对应的意见建议我在下面的修改中有阐述。
Is the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare, as the speaker claims? I totally agree with the assertion and the reasons are presented as follows.
First, （直接用we？let us 是不是好一些？）we take a look at what “absence of choice” mean? As I see it, it means that there is only one choice left, or not one at all. In other words, two choices or more than two choices are not the case “absence of choice”. In this sense, the claim is totally right. In our daily lives, there are very, very rare circumstances of absence of choice. One circumstance is that we can’t choose our births, which determine（用被动语态） our parents, （这个非限定定于从句后面再加一个分句不好）other family members, and the financial status of families. In most other cases, we at least have two choices so it doesn’t constitute the case of absence of choice. Although when something happens, people are not able to prevent it from taking place, people（用they代替） can choose how to react to the already existed circumstances（已经发生的环境？circumstances用得不好）, at least two choices: the positive attitude and negative attitude.（用either...or...句型好一点）
As an individual, in most cases, we can choose. Some people may allege that once you’re in poor situation, just the poor situation force you to do something not by your will, （前面的just the poor situation force you 改为被动you would probably be forced to do something reluctantly 好一些。还有，不推荐用第二人称。）and at this time the absence of choice happens. It seems sound at face value, （另起一句）however, close scrutiny reveals it is(there is?) the other way around. The situation is objective, which we rarely can change, however, what is under control is how we react to it. We can choose a positive way, or a negative one. In some cases, the poor are forced to commit crimes upon the great pressure of living, claiming that they have no other choices but to break the law in order to live. However, this is totally an excuse. //The fact is that they may not have other pleasant, appealing choices, but still can have choices not so pleasant , say, selling their labor forces at low price, or at least going to government for help, which may insult their so-called “dignity”, but they are choices. //（这句话不是很顺，很多的逗号还有两个but。还有最后的they are choices是什么意思？）Nonetheless, they aren’t willing to choose the unappealing ways to live, instead they commit a crime to make money with little endeavor but will have the bitter fruits in later stage.（这一句和上面的the poor are forced一句重复了。把那句删掉，一开始就说本可以有许多选择，然后再说但是很多人却选择了犯罪） To go to the extreme, take Van Gogh for example. Even Van Gogh can have another ending（ending?还不如用choice。还有因该用虚拟语态Acturally Van Gogh could have had other choices rather commit sucide.）, but he chose to end his life with a shot.（这里又是重复。前面的He was quite talented in painting, but at last had a miserable ending in suicide 删掉。一个意思不要说两次）He can choose to live, however hard oppressed by the pressure of life, but still he can choose（还是重复加语法上的问题。but still he can choose放在最后不合适）. Nevertheless, he picked another choice-end his life.（这个例子说的不客气一些就是在重复一句话。上面这句Nevertheless有时多余） To some degree, ending his life with a shot itself is a choice, which he thought to be a better and more pleasant one. In this sense, we say, in most cases everyone has at least two choices, the positive and the negative.
这段很长，但很多的篇幅都是用在了重复上。这样的最大坏初就是使得文章逻辑混乱。例子是要深入分析，但也不是简单的重复。这一点要牢记。所谓分析一是要把例子比较详细地讲明白，更重要的是用自己的论点来说明问题。具体到这段中就是讲其实不是没有选择，而是他的悲观的生活态度举定了一切。把这样的道理说清楚了，不管字数是多少，都不会有问题。
As for a nation, it is the same. Nowadays, in face of the increasing tendency of globalization, many third-world countries reject it, for it brings great challenges to their countries not only in economic field, but also in politic area, even every aspect of citizens’ daily lives. The nations which deny globalization, are usually backward and poor countries, without ability to compete with developed countries.（这句话的意思已经在前面的third-world countries那句中表达过了 ）If they open the door to the world, world major power, such United States, European Union ,will enter their domestic markets, and take up most shares of domestic markets so that great damage will be brought to domestic industry. These countries protect domestic industry usually via closing the door. However, these countries, even pressured so giganticly, can still choose. They can choose to face and meet the challenges of globalization, or choose to escape from it. As for the former, challenges can also equal to opportunities to some degree; as for the latter, it may lead these nations into an even worse status. Whatever they choose, they still can choose. So the situation of absence of choice is very, very rare.
这段的问题少了许多，但还是有重复。
In conclusion, a circumstance of absence of choice is very, very rarely seen. We do not deny that under some circumstances, the absence of choice does exist, however, in most cases, even though the situation we can’t change, we still have at least two choices: you choose to react to it with positive attitude, or negative attitude.
To 猫咪me:
这一片比上一篇在各个方面都有了很大的，只不过就是革命的还不够彻底。继续加油 :D
To 木耳
首先表示感谢，放心吧，你狠狠地批吧。我有一些辩解：
1. One circumstance is that we can’t choose our births, which determine（用被动语态） our parents, （这个非限定定于从句后面再加一个分句不好）other family members, and the financial status of families.我的意思是想说出生决定了我们的父母，亲人，和家庭背景。
2. but they are choices. //（这句话不是很顺，很多的逗号还有两个but。还有最后的they are choices是什么意思？）那是在强调，虽然是不好的选择，但是他们仍然是选择。but they are choices可不可以表达这样的意思？
3.关于例子的重复，我是真的不知道怎莫把它讲的深入，于是就写了很多，在这点上，向大家请教！（诚恳地）
谢谢你！：） 还有 however,it is the other way around.这个表达是在新概念4 上学的。：）
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