114三月的最高频，写了nearly two hours,恳请大家批阅
114"Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity. "写了nearly two hours, 觉得很烂，不过还是决定发出来，恳请大家批阅……不知道是不是跑题了,郁闷……
The arguer asserts that technology cannot change the condition of humanity which has made little progress during the past century or so. In my point of view, though war, violence, and poverty are still with us, the overall condition of humanity has been influenced to a great extent by the technology advancement.
In the first place, though the persistent problems such as war, violence and poverty are still disturbing us today, the situations are much better than before, with the development of our science and technology. War, violence and poverty which have been existed since the primitive society, are caused by people's ambitious to enlarge their own territory, to let others respect them and their greedy for wealth. But since there are more goods as a result of the technology advancement , few people have nothing to eat .what's better, a large quantity of people are now have a comfortable live without concerning the possibility of starvation . In order to illustrate the point clearly, let us see a typical example. In the primitive society, few tribes had enough things to eat, and they also had no safe place to live. In order to avoid eating by furious animals, they would combat with other tribes merely because they wanted to take over a safety place to live. So the war between the two tribes began. But let us assume that all the tribes have various things to eat, they also live a comfort live, without disturbance from the frightened animals, which is situations as the life today, the reason for combating with others diappear.
In the second place, developing at an unprecedented speed, technology will provide us with more solutions to the lasting problems which serves as great challenges to people today. Frightened by the severely destroy force of the nuclear bomb, few countries are inclined to declare war with other country. It's the nuclear bomb that making the delegate sit together to discuss how to solve conflicts in a peace way. It's the technology advancement in agriculture that more product are becoming available for us to eat .And it's also the development of modern tools that crimes are decreased to a great extent. So, we have every reason to believe that technological innovations can lead our society to a better way to develop.
Last but not the least, despite it's true that technology could not change the condition of humanity, it indeed inspire us to have a reflection on these problems. In order to see the point more clearly, let us see an instance in case. In the past, nearly no people worried about one day we may use out of our resources, but when people realized the possibility that some precious resources are very rare, they began to think about ways to save resources. Taking fresh water for granted, people never value it, but when they were told by the modern knowledge that the last drop of fresh water may be their own eye drops, people all over the world began to take measures to save water. It goes the same with the problems related to humanity.
To sum up, though the technological innovations could not change the condition of humanity, it do let people have a profound reflection on themselves, and the problems in relation with humanity. In addition, the advancement also provide us with more reliable measures to solve those problems. The arguer asserts that technology cannot change the condition of humanity which has made little progress during the past century or so. In my point of view, though war, violence, and poverty are still with us, the overall condition of humanity has been influenced to a great extent by the technology advancement.
In the first place, though the persistent problems such as war, violence and poverty are still disturbing us today, the situations are much better than before, with the development of our science and technology. War, violence and poverty which have been existed since the primitive society, are caused by people's ambitious (ambiton) to enlarge their own territory, to let others respect them and their greedy (greed)for wealth. But since there are more goods as a result of the technology advancement , few people have nothing (东西不够吃一样会饿死)to eat .what's better, a large quantity of people are now have a comfortable live without concerning the possibility of starvation . In order to illustrate the point clearly, let us see a typical example. In the primitive society, few tribes had enough things to eat, and they also had no safe place to live(inhabit). In order to avoid eating (being eaten)by furious animals, they would combat with other tribes merely because they wanted to take over a safety place to live(in). So the war between the two tribes began(broke out). But let us assume that all the tribes have various things to eat, they also live(lead) a comfort(able) live(life), without disturbance from the frightened animals, which is situations as the life today(不懂), the reason for combating with others diappear.
In the second place, developing at an unprecedented speed(rate), technology will provide us with more solutions to the lasting problems which serves as great challenges to people today. Frightened by the severely destroy force of the nuclear bomb, few countries are inclined to declare war with other country. It's the nuclear bomb that making the delegate sit together to discuss how to solve conflicts in a peace way. It's the technology advancement in agriculture that more product are becoming available for us to eat .And it's also the development of modern tools that crimes are decreased to a great extent. So, we have every reason to believe that technological innovations can lead our society to a better way to develop.
似乎与huamnity关系不大
Last but not the least, despite it's true that technology could not change the condition of humanity, it indeed inspire us to have a reflection on these problems. In order to see the point more clearly, let us see an instance in case （？）. In the past, nearly no people worried about one day we may use out of our resources, but when people realized the possibility that some precious resources are very rare, they began to think about ways to save resources. Taking fresh water for granted, people never value it, but when they were told by the modern knowledge that the last drop of fresh water may be their own eye drops, people all over the world began to take measures to save water. It goes the same with the problems related to humanity.
To sum up, though the technological innovations could not change the condition of humanity, it do let people have a profound reflection on themselves, and the problems in relation with humanity. In addition, the advancement also provide us with more reliable measures to solve those problems.
立场好像一直在摇摆。What is the situation in which A has a influnce on B without changing B? I am bewildered. 多谢不吝指教……快考试了，写的还是这么差，真是郁闷呀…… 我觉得你用词上面要注意，不要用自己不确定的词 可是 不是说issue尽量要用书面词吗…不过我掌握的很少，sigh…… The arguer asserts that technology cannot change the condition of humanity which has made little progress during the past century or so. In my point of view, though war, violence, and poverty are still with us, the overall condition of humanity has been influenced to a great extent by the technology advancement.
In the first place, though the persistent problems such as war, violence and poverty are still disturbing us today, the situations are much better than before, with the development of our science and technology. War, violence and poverty（相隔这么近，换一种说法比较好） which have been（been应去掉，exist是主动的） existed since the primitive society, are caused by people's ambitious（应是ambition） to enlarge their own territory, to let others respect them（to arouse others’ respect即可） and their greedy for wealth. But since there are more goods as a result of the technology advancement , few people have nothing to eat .what's better, a large quantity of people are now have（应是having，因为前面有are） a comfortable live without concerning the possibility of starvation . In order to illustrate the point clearly, let us see（最好是look at） a typical example. In the primitive society, few tribes had enough things to eat, and they also had no safe place to live. In order to avoid eating（应是being eaten） by furious animals, they would combat with other tribes merely because they wanted to take over a safety place to live. So the war between the two tribes began. But let us assume that all the tribes have various things to eat, they also live a comfort live（应是life）, without disturbance from the frightened animals, which is situations（前面是is，后面怎可是复数？） as the life today, the reason for combating with others diappear（拼写错误！）.
In the second place, developing at an unprecedented speed, technology will provide us with more solutions to the lasting problems which serves as great challenges to people today. Frightened by the severely destroy force of the nuclear bomb, few countries are inclined to declare war with other country. It's the nuclear bomb that making（应是makes） the delegate sit together to discuss how to solve conflicts in a peace way. It's the technology advancement in agriculture that more product are becoming available for us to eat .And it's also the development of modern tools that crimes are decreased to a great extent. So, we have every reason to believe that technological innovations can lead our society to a better way to develop. 几个例子都还不错，但是对于这些方面是否改进了“人性”，没有很好的加以结合。
Last but not the least, despite it's（正式行文里应该避免出现缩略语） true that technology could not change the condition of humanity, it indeed inspire（第三人称单数加s！） us to have a reflection on these problems. In order to see the point more clearly, let us see an instance in case（这句话和上文几乎一摸一样，换个说法吧）. In the past, nearly no people worried about one day we may（应用过去时，might） use out of our resources, but when people realized the possibility that some precious resources are very rare, they began to think about ways to save resources. Taking fresh water for granted, people never value it, but when they were told by the modern knowledge that the last drop of fresh water may be their own eye drops, people all over the world began to take measures to save water. It goes the same with the problems related to humanity. 可是这段和人性有关系吗？人类关心的问题并不等于人性啊。
To sum up, though the technological innovations could not change the condition of humanity, it do（应用does表示加强语气，因为前面是it！） let people have a profound reflection on themselves, and the problems in relation with humanity. In addition, the advancement also provide us with more reliable measures to solve those problems.
总的来说语言不错，表达意思很清楚，读着也顺畅，但是小错误还是不少。论证上，不是特别深入，还有点偏。
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