yifeng 发表于 2004-4-3 19:09:14

Issue43: 请大家帮帮忙,谢谢!

花了一个多小时写的,还不到400字,但不知道怎么扩张了(55555),请大家帮帮忙,多谢多谢!
“To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.”

For a country who wants to have an higher position in the world, having  a set of leaders who maintain a higher ethical and moral standards is necessary ,however, that don’t mean that is essentials and the highest, which is my view.

An effective leader should in first place have his work well done with justice, objective, and in a best way promote interests of the nation, which will contribute to his effectiveness. A leader who faces many affairs every day, must keep a just and objective mind, which is more important than a higher ethical and moral standards. If the assumption that leaders who have the highest ethical and moral standards but have bad effective in his/her occupation is true, the country would be a society which spends too much attention on the ethic and have a very slow development. Just like Guan zhong, who was a famous and great prime minister of Qi government, was a people who had abandon his king, had used  quantities of scientific and effective methods to development of Qi at last and still be evaluated one of the greatest leaders in China. So, the highest ethical and moral standard is not must to a leader.

On the other world, personal ethical/moral ability adds to and promotes his effectiveness. When the leader faces a thing, his ethical and moral ability helps him become more aware and objective, and this makes his step in dealing with affairs become quicker. Mao zedong, a greatest president of China, had said: ”A leader will be more effective than others who have lower ethical and moral standards. Because they have more conscious and wiser.” And for a leader, without ethical and moral, definitely not good for him. The people don’t want to be governed by a lot of persons who have little ethical and moral, because they think that such leaders is incredible and ineffective. In a word, a leader’s ethical/moral will benefit his work.

In sum, to be an effective leader must sure his work is justice, objective, and in the best way deal with his affairs, and a higher ethical and moral standard will help his work.

~冰枕~ 发表于 2004-4-3 19:24:53

先UP一下,马上看^_^

~冰枕~ 发表于 2004-4-3 19:44:28

For a country who wants to have an higher position in the world, having a set of leaders who maintain a higher ethical and moral standards单数 is necessary ,however, that don’t does not mean that is essentials and the highest, which is my view.第一段表达不是太好噢

An effective leader should in first place have his work well done with justice, objectiveobjectivity, and in athe best wayto 好像很多语法错误哦,下面不改了,看你的论证 promote interests of the nation, which will contribute to his effectiveness. A leader who faces many affairs every day, must keep a just and objective mind, which is more important than a higher ethical and moral standards. If the assumption that leaders who have the highest ethical and moral standards but have bad effective in his/her occupation is true, the country would be a society which spends too much attention on the ethic and have a very slow development. Just like Guan zhong, who was a famous and great prime minister of Qi government, was a people who had abandon his king, had used quantities of scientific and effective methods to development of Qi at last and still be evaluated one of the greatest leaders in China. So, the highest ethical and moral standard is not must to a leader.这段论证感觉你思路比较乱,先看下面再说

On the other world, personal ethical/moral ability adds to and promotes his effectiveness. When the leader faces a thing, his ethical and moral ability helps him become more aware and objective, and this makes his step in dealing with affairs become quicker. Mao zedong, a greatest president of China, had said: ”A leader will be more effective than others who have lower ethical and moral standards. Because they have more conscious and wiser.” And for a leader, without ethical and moral, definitely not good for him. The people don’t want to be governed by a lot of persons who have little ethical and moral, because they think that such leaders is incredible and ineffective. In a word, a leader’s ethical/moral will benefit his work.这段表达很多地方欠妥,可能写着写着你自己都没信心了,呵呵

In sum, to be an effective leader must sure his work is justice, objective, and in the best way deal with his affairs, and a higher ethical and moral standard will help his work.

我的建议:
1〉官员们必须有高的道德标准,这样才能凝聚人心,可以谈贪污腐败的例子。
2〉有道德标准是个人行为,不能成为完全评价一个官员是否是effective leader.
   很多其他方面,wisdom, insight, leadership, etc 综合判断

yifeng 发表于 2004-4-3 21:11:08

谢谢!
以后互相帮忙,好吗?
我明天再改改看。

~冰枕~ 发表于 2004-4-3 22:21:03

大家一起加油^_^

song123456 发表于 2004-4-3 23:37:37

先背范文吧,我正在背ing
hoho~~~加油  加油
一起努力

yifeng 发表于 2004-4-6 19:21:08

前两天没法来上网,今天又改了一下,不知这次如何,希望得到指点。多谢!
The author concludes that the highest ethical and moral standard must be maintained for a leader who wants to be an effective leader. And for a country which wants to have a higher position in the world, it is true that having a set of leaders who maintain a higher ethical and moral standard is necessary, however, that doesn’t mean that is essentials and the highest, which is my view.

An effective leader should in first place have his work well done with justice, objectivity, and in the best way to promote interests of the nation, which will contribute to his effectiveness. A leader who faces many affairs every day, must keep a just and objective mind, which is more important than a higher ethical and moral standards. If a leader who has the highest ethical and moral standard but has little knowledge in his/her occupation, he or she will spend too much attention on the ethic when he/she deals with his/her work, and the efficiency will be low. Otherwise, a leader with lower ethical standard but has an effective competence still can be a good leader. Just like Guan zhong, who was a famous and great prime minister of Qi government, was a people who had abandon his king, which means low ethical standard in most people’s opinion, had used quantities of scientific and effective methods to development of Qi after he back and still be evaluated one of the greatest leaders in China. So, the highest ethical and moral standard is not must to a leader.

On the other word, personal ethical/moral ability adds to and promotes his effectiveness. When the leader faces a thing, his ethical and moral ability helps him become more aware and objective, and this makes his step in dealing with affairs become more effective. Mao zedong, a greatest president of China, had said: ”A leader will be more effective than others who have lower ethical and moral standards. Because they have more conscious and wiser.” And for a leader, with higher ethical and moral standard, definitely has an attraction, which appeal many persons to help him to do his work. That is, t he people don’t want to be governed by a lot of persons who have little ethical and moral, because they think that such leaders are incredible and ineffective. In a word, a leader’s ethical/moral will benefit his work.

In sum, to be an effective leader must sure his work is justice, objective, and in the best way deal with his affairs, and a higher ethical and moral standard will help his work. None wants to be leaded by a leader who has little moral or has the highest ethical standard but little knowledge on his own occupation.

~冰枕~ 发表于 2004-4-6 20:27:40

大概看了一下,比上一篇好多了,但是好像
思路还局限在以前的框架内,没有很好的展开。
可以看看范文扩展一下思路。
加油哦^_^

fishergirl 发表于 2004-4-6 23:59:31

“To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.”
The author concludes that the highest ethical and moral standard must be maintained for a leader who wants to be an effective leader. And for a country which wants to have a higher position in the world, it is true that having a set of leaders who maintain a higher ethical and moral standard is necessary, however, that doesn’t mean that is essentials [是可数还是不可数啊?] and the highest [这里虽然没有语法错误,不过感觉挺别扭], which is my view. [观点已经明确了,但是重复原题过多,感觉罗嗦,能否换用自己的语言?]

An effective leader should in first place have his work well done with justice, objectivity, and in the best way to promote interests [促进利益?任换一词吧] of the nation, which will contribute to his effectiveness. A leader who faces many affairs every day, must keep a just and objective mind, which is more important than a higher ethical and moral standards. If a leader who has the highest ethical and moral standard but has little knowledge in his/her occupation, he or she will spend too much attention on the ethic when he/she deals with his/her work, and the efficiency will be low. Otherwise, a leader with lower ethical standard but has an effective competence still can be a good leader. Just like Guan zhong, who was a famous and great prime minister of Qi government [改为同位语比较舒服], was a people who had abandon his king, which means low ethical standard in most people’s opinion, had used quantities of scientific and effective methods to development of Qi after he back and still be evaluated one of the greatest leaders in China. [句子太长,试着拆成短句] So, the highest ethical and moral standard is not must to a leader.

On the other word, personal ethical/moral ability adds to and promotes his effectiveness. When the leader faces a thing, his ethical and moral ability helps him become more aware and objective, and this makes his step in dealing with affairs become more effective. Mao zedong, a greatest president [这可是常识性的错误,chairman] of China, had said: ”A leader will be more effective than others who have lower ethical and moral standards. Because they have more conscious and wiser.” [呵呵,真的说过吗?最好用间接引语,除非你对这句话记得很清楚] And for a leader, with higher ethical and moral standard, definitely has an attraction, which appeal many persons to help him to do his work. That is, t he people don’t want to be governed by a lot of persons who have little ethical and moral, because they think that such leaders are incredible and ineffective. In a word, a leader’s ethical/moral [这可都是形容词] will benefit his work.

In sum, to be an effective leader must sure his work is justice, objective, and in the best way deal with his affairs, and a higher ethical and moral standard will help his work. None wants to be leaded by a leader who has little moral or has the highest ethical standard but little knowledge on his own occupation.

[感觉语言还是比较单调,多看看范文,找找感觉。另外,在思路上,其实这篇文章和167,8,169都有联系,你可以试着从更多的角度来论证。
你哪天考,一起努力吧!]

apolloxp 发表于 2004-4-7 00:10:44

顶一下
过会儿或者明天来看

yifeng 发表于 2004-4-7 10:23:46

谢谢各位帮忙,我4.27考
大家一起努力呀。

apolloxp 发表于 2004-4-7 12:44:41

“To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.”

The author concludes that the highest ethical and moral standard must be maintained for a leader who wants to be an effective leader. And for a country which wants to have a higher position in the world, it is true that it is true that有点多余 having a set of leaders who maintain a higher ethical and moral standard is necessary, however, that doesn’t mean that is essentials and the highest, which is my view.这句虽然很长,但感觉是把两句话硬拼起来的,however这里可以断开

An effective leader should in first place have his work well done with justice, objectivity, and in the best way to promote interests of the nation, which will contribute to his effectiveness. A leader who faces many affairs every day, must keep a just and objective mind, which is more important than a higher ethical and moral standards. If a leader who 删了who has the highest ethical and moral standard but has little knowledge in his/her occupation, he or she will spend too much attention on the ethic when he/she deals with his/her work, and the efficiency will be low.过分注意伦理道德会是领导人分心,是这个意思吧?但为什么会分心呢?伦理道德和效率一定是矛盾的吗?这些问题都应该做出回答 Otherwise, a leader with lower ethical standard but has an effective competence still can be a good leader. Just like Guan zhong, who was a famous and great prime minister of Qi government, was a people who had abandon his king, which means low ethical standard in most people’s opinion, had used quantities of scientific and effective methods to development of Qi after he back and still be evaluated one of the greatest leaders in China. So, the highest ethical and moral standard is not must to a leader.

On the other word, personal ethical/moral ability adds to and promotes his effectiveness. When the leader faces a thing, his ethical and moral ability helps him become more aware and objective, and this makes his step in dealing with affairs become more effective. Mao zedong, a greatest president of China, had said once said: ”A leader will be more effective than others who have lower ethical and moral standards. Because they have more conscious and wiser wisdom.” And for a leader, with higher ethical and moral standard, definitely has an attraction, which appeal many persons to help him to do his work. That is, the people don’t want to be governed by a lot of persons who have little ethical and moral, because they think that such leaders are incredible and ineffective. In a word, a leader’s ethical/moral will benefit his work.道德水平高的人容易获得支持,从而更有效率?好像和第一段有矛盾

In sum, to be 删了to be an effective leader must sure his work is justice, objective, and in the best way deal with his affairs, and a higher ethical and moral standard will help his work. None wants to be leaded by a leader who has little moral or has the highest ethical standard but little knowledge on his own occupation.
文章的字数还嫌不够,论证也比较单薄,写得时候多问问自己的statement为什么是对的,怎么证明它
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