天青地白 发表于 2004-7-22 15:18:16

ISSUE164 大家随便砸哈

——题目——
“Sometimes imagination is a more valuable asset than experience. people who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible and thus can approach a task without constraints of established habits and attitudes.”

——正文——
In this text ,the speaker claims that imagination has the more important role than experience, people who are lack of experience will be set free to imagine without constraints of established habit and attitudes, and finally approach a task. I strongly disagree with the point of view on account of imagination and experience can give supplement  to each other, to a certain extend, they are equally the same.

Experience with no imagination is as a bird has no wings ,owing to imagination helps experience lift to a higher plateau. “a man full of experience could create no speck invention without imagination.” Just take the scientist Newton for illustration, in his era, there were so many experienced scientists in the field of physics ,but only Newton discovered the famous law which inspiration came from a fallen apple from the apple tree. As a result of Newton’s imagination as well as his logic reasoning, he didn’t omit the common phenomenon so as to find something new. only a speck can make great distinction. From old time to nowadays, experience is comparable easy to attain by some means while imagination is hard for people to create without deft thought. A man of experience is not always a man of imagination.

On the other hand, imagination with no experience is like water without a source or a tree without roots ,because experience is a raw materials needed to actualize imagination. Everything being created has its foundation, as a skyscraper has its firm base deep in soil, not except the imagination. No amount of enough experience, no imagination to create. for instance, the biologist Morgan found the rule of genetics largely depending on his full experience,he took experiments without limit times on the flying. Through unlimited failure process he received amount of abundant knowledge about inherits of flying .By accident, in one proper experiment, he found some observation new while assumed up experiences, as a result, he finally reached to the new nadir with imagination to find a famous rule in genetic and win the Nobel price.

Even if some people without experiment may has no constraints of established habits and attitudes, we should clearly realize the important role of experiment in research of both science and society. In my own opinion, there is  no foundation, no creation. Everyone knows that no one was inborn with imagination. As a child, we were induced by our parents to think about this outside world new while recognize in ones owning eyes, when we grow up, acuminating knowledge and experiment, the impulse of thought and mind become widely ,thanks to the improvement of imagination.

To sum up, the imagination and experience have the equal virtual role in the process of working or research or discovering. Make good use of utilization with both the two effective methods will cause people who want to gain something new to attain a well establishment.

genie05 发表于 2004-7-22 15:30:35

u still have time to edit ur title, no space between "issue' and the number.
ok, u owe me another treat,

lakeqian 发表于 2004-7-22 15:52:12

has the more important role ? play ..role吧
equally the same important 赘词哦
take the famous scientist Newton...first Newton rule ...无语。悠着点。
还有些其他的小错吧...
总体上看着四平八稳,似乎没什么结构上的大问题.......

genie05 发表于 2004-7-22 16:03:51

如果开头大写都做不到,就不要写了~

自己的东西,如果不先修改好就拿上来#¥……·#¥!¥……#

你的语法错误都还很多,不要说行文的问题了,自己先再看看吧~不要说我损,事实就是这样~不爽来打我。

天青地白 发表于 2004-7-22 18:12:31

genie,打你倒没有那个必要。谢谢提醒,我真是没注意文章的大写问题,不是故意不修改拿上来的!
还有我题目ISUUE XXX 有问题么?我看大家发的帖子都是这样写的呀! ------ "issue"和"164"中间不要留空格,这次我帮你改了。by imong
文章问题很多,说得我都没勇气了。这篇文章确实。。。。请帮我看看吧。
同样感谢LAKEQIAN

wuhcl 发表于 2004-7-22 23:43:34

一点小砖头,扔得不对不要骂我

In this text ,the speaker claims that imagination has the more important role than experience, people who are lack of
lack不是形容词,不能这么用

experience will be set free to imagine without constraints of established habit and attitudes, and finally approach a task. I strongly disagree with the point of view on account of imagination and experience can give supplement to each other, to a certain extend, they are equally the same.
the same是不是太绝对了?

Experience with no imagination is as a bird has no wings ,owing to imagination helps experience lift to a higher plateau.
这句总觉得读起来不舒服
“a man full of experience could create no speck invention without imagination.” Just take the scientist Newton for illustration, in his era, there were so many experienced scientists in the field of physics ,but only Newton discovered the famous law which inspiration came from a fallen apple from the apple tree.
用WHICH作连词觉得不通
As a result of Newton’s imagination as well as his logic reasoning, he didn’t omit the common phenomenon so as to find something new. only a speck can make great distinction. From old time to nowadays, experience is comparable easy to attain by some means while imagination is hard for people to create without deft thought. A man of experience is not always a man of imagination.

On the other hand, imagination with no experience is like water without a source or a tree without roots ,because experience is a raw materials needed to actualize imagination.
a materials有误

Everything being created has its foundation, as a skyscraper
being created感觉可以删掉

has its firm base deep in soil, not except the imagination. No
amount of enough experience, no imagination to create. for
instance, the biologist Morgan found the rule of genetics largely depending on his full experience,he took experiments without limit times on the flying. Through unlimited failure
without limit times -> for countless times

process he received amount of abundant knowledge about inherits of flying .By accident, in one proper experiment, he found some observation new while assumed up experiences, as a result, he finally reached to the new nadir with
nadir用反了吧?
imagination to find a famous rule in genetic and win the Nobel price.

Even if some people without experiment may has no constraints of established habits and attitudes, we should clearly realize the important role of experiment in research of both science and society. In my own opinion, there is no foundation, no creation. Everyone knows that no one was inborn with imagination. As a child, we were induced by our parents to think about this outside world new while recognize in ones owning eyes, when we grow up, acuminating knowledge and experiment, the impulse of thought and mind become widely ,thanks to the improvement of imagination.
上面这句读起来不很通,outside world new,become widely 之类的再调整一下可能会好一点

To sum up, the imagination and experience have the equal virtual role in the process of working or research or discovering. Make good use of utilization with both the two effective methods will cause people who want to gain something new to attain a well establishment.

感觉列一下提纲会看得容易一点,因为思路别人不一定能领会到

mulberry 发表于 2004-7-22 23:43:54

——正文——
In this text ,the speaker claims that imagination has the more important role than experience, people who are lack of experience will be set free to imagine without constraints of established habit and attitudes, and finally approach a task. I strongly disagree with the point of view on account of imagination and experience can give supplement to each other, to a certain extend, they are equally the same.(下面分析的是imagination与expericence的关系为主,不能说是等同的。)

Experience with no imagination is as a bird has no wings ,owing to imagination helps experience lift to a higher plateau. “a man full of experience could create no speck invention without imagination.” Just take the scientist Newton for illustration, in his era, there were so many experienced scientists in the field of physics ,but only Newton discovered the famous law which inspiration came from a fallen apple from the apple tree. As a result of Newton’s imagination as well as his logic reasoning, he didn’t omit the common phenomenon so as to find something new. only a speck can make great distinction. From old time to nowadays, experience is comparable(好像不太对relative) easy to attain by some means while imagination is hard for people to create without deft thought.(这句话想说明什么?好像与之前论证的imagination在获得成功的重要性无关。) A man of experience is not always a man of imagination.

On the other hand, imagination with no experience is like water without a source or a tree without roots ,because experience is a raw materials needed to actualize imagination.(这句看不懂:p) Everything being created has its foundation, as a skyscraper has its firm base deep(deep什么成分?) in soil, not except(including也可) the imagination. No amount of enough experience, no imagination to create(缺动词). for instance, the biologist Morgan found the rule of genetics largely depending on his full experience,he took experiments without limit times on the flying. Through unlimited(感觉不好countless or myriad) failure process(删) he received(gain说获得比较好) amount of abundant knowledge about inherits of flying .By accident, in one proper experiment, he found some observation new(表达不太好) while assumed up experiences, as a result, he finally reached to the new nadir with imagination to find a famous rule in genetic and win the Nobel price.

Even if some people without experiment may has no constraints of established habits and attitudes, we should clearly realize the important role of experiment in research of both science and society. In my own opinion, there is no foundation, no creation(这句的表达方法你肯定嘛?no foundation means no creation). Everyone knows that no one was inborn with imagination. As a child, we were induced by our parents to think about this outside world new while recognize in ones owning eyes, when we grow up, acuminating knowledge and experiment, the impulse of thought and mind become widely ,thanks to the improvement of imagination.(这一段有点看不懂,你想说明的是什么?是no fundation is no creation嘛?这个观点前面一段已经提了。另外,后面的成长的例子,也没有很好的论证这一观点,尤其是最后一句还是没看明白:p)

To sum up, the imagination and experience have the equal virtual role in the process of working or research or discovering. Make good use of utilization with both the two effective methods will cause people who want to gain something new to attain a well establishment.

(总的来说,2,3段论证的不错!整体的思路和行文都挺流畅。
我提的一些问题,有些我自己也吃不准。仅供参考罗)

天青地白 发表于 2004-7-23 11:26:04

3x !!!

天青地白 发表于 2004-7-23 16:21:57

再次感谢6,7楼的朋友!

frog 发表于 2004-7-23 16:38:23

感觉论证的第一段例子举的长了些,可以一句话带过,着重分析内容。
开头的题不用朝那么全,其实意思说明就好了

个人意见啊!

天青地白 发表于 2004-7-23 16:50:15

喔,知道了。谢谢建议
不过我之所以例子长就是因为觉得自己分析内容不太深入:-)

genie05 发表于 2004-7-25 19:31:01

——题目——
“Sometimes imagination is a more valuable asset than experience. people who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible and thus can approach a task without constraints of established habits and attitudes.”

——正文——
In this text ,the speaker claims that imagination has the more important role than experience, people who are lack of experience will be set free to imagine without constraints of established habit and attitudes, and finally approach a task. I strongly disagree with the point of view on account of imagination and experience can give supplement to each other, to a certain extend to certain extend or to a certain…check it, 正不能把握表达是否正确的时候可以在GOOGLE上来搜索看所得的结果的数量,如果小于1000左右的,基本上是错误表达, they are equally the same.你的开头过于死板,一点不吸引人,当然我知道这个是不好写的,建议去精华区看看别人的关于开头的帖子,还有DENDIS的文章有这个开头“The speaker's assertion that art must be understandable to most people to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the very nature of work of art, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of art, which has less to do with the majority appreciation than with individual satisfaction.”我想可以从中学到一点东西吧~

Experience with no imagination is as a bird has no wings ,owing to imagination helps experience lift to a higher plateau. “a A man full of experience could create no speck invention without imagination.” Just takethe scientist废话都不要 Newton for illustration, in his era, there were so many experienced scientists in the field of physics和前面的IN HIS ERA一起看不是废话是什么。 ,but only Newton discovered the famous law名字是什么,这些积累一下 which inspiration came from a fallen apple from the apple tree你这个说法没有道理,别人就一定被砸到了吗?如果没有被砸到,从而导致没有因为IMAGINATION而想出THE LAW是不是完全可以接受嘛~这个不能证明你的论点. As a result of Newton’s imagination as well as his logic reasoning一个句子那么多AS你看着不难受吗?在写文章的时候就算不能用大量的词汇也要避免在小范围内词语的大量重复,考虑换别的结构来表达你的这个句子, he didn’t正式问题中不能使用这种省略,用DID NOT omit the common phenomenon so as to find something new. only Only a speck 一个斑点?什么意思?请教can make great distinction. From old time to nowadays这个表达怎么看怎么不爽,是不是固定表达啊,请教, experience is comparable用副词 easy to attain by some means while imagination is hard for people to create without deft thought.这个句子不错哈 A man of experience is not always a man of imagination.你这个段落的主题是要表达什么,IMAGINATION对发明和重要?那么最后一句是在干什么呢?不然就不要,不然就再加东西上去,说清楚只有经验是不可以,你的意思不要让读文章的人来推测,想什么就表达出来,写一半是不可以的。

On the other hand, imagination with no experience is like water without a source or a tree without roots ,because experience is a raw materials needed to actualize imagination.你的段落的开头都不错 Everything being created has its foundation, as a skyscraper has its firm base deep in soil, not except 为什么我觉得盖世no excepT呢,不知道什么表达才是正确的the imagination. No amount of enough experience, no imagination to create.  ForFOR instance, the biologist Morgan found the rule of genetics largely depending on his full experience, he took experiments without limit times on the flying这个是飞逝的时间?不管是什么WITHOUT后面该是名词性的东西,不该是这个. Through unlimited用词重复->与LIMIT failure process he received amount of abundant knowledge about inherits of flying更搞不懂这里的FLYING是什么意思了,能讲下吗? .By accident, in one proper experiment, he found some observation new while assumed up experiences, as a result, he finally reached to the new nadir with imagination to find a famous rule in genetic and win the Nobel price.你这个例子还是说的IMAGINATION的重要,对于EXPERIENCE的重要没有说清楚,还有最后一个句子有问题哦。再考虑一下

Even if some people without experiment may has no constraints of established habits and attitudes, we should clearly realize the important role of experiment in research of both science and society. In my own opinion, there is no foundation, no creation这个句子是对什么来说的啊?是要说没有基础就没有创造,还是什么啊?不懂. Everyone knows that no one was inborn为什么不是born with imagination. As a child, we were induced by our parents to think about this outside worldworld outside new while recognize in onesones’ owning eyes, when we grow upafter growing up, acuminating knowledge and experiment, the impulse of thought and mind become widely ,thanks to the improvement of imagination.这个段落处理得不好,为什么要这样来再写一个呢?再看IMONG的那个帖子,连接给在后面呢。还有你的表达,不要盲目得写长句,别人不方便读,既然大家都知道GRE的阅读是变态的长,那么是不是我们写句子的时候应该把握好再写呢,当然我不是说不要写长句啊,我的意思是要把握好

To sum up, the imagination and experience have the equal virtual role in the process of working or research or discoveringawkward的连接方法,再考虑下. Make 这个可以当主语吗?Makinggood use of utilization with both the two effective methods will cause people who want to gain something new to attain a well establishment.开头和结尾都不如中间啊~~再去看看别人的写法吧

首先,看这个帖子
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?threadid=201072
相信在写这类文章的时候你会有一定的收获,那么在帖子中所提到的问题,如果你有犯也不再点出,自己斟酌

其次,文章写错出来以后一定要先防到WORD里面修改,你这里还是有句子开头不大写的,相信你没有放到WORD里面看吧。在WORD里面放了以后,对自己常见的一些错误也要记住总结,尤其是拼写方面的。
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