In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
现实情况究竟是restrain our minds 还是set them free呢。这个问题你的文章没有涉及。
我说比较可能不太合适。叫选择怎样？
总之不论more，rather than 还是其他。都要对原题的判断或结论给出你的观点是a>b a<b 还是a=b等。
如何？ 最初由 lakeqian 发布
现实情况究竟是restrain our minds 还是set them free呢。这个问题你的文章没有涉及。
body3里谈的是former education的现状,观点是restrain our minds
不过同意楼上的刚才说的,写得过于简略,没有进行很好的support:)
头晕中，简单谈谈
1. 1+1的题目，后半句是结论2. rather than是属于not but类型的题目，不是more......当然，也许我们可以给写成dual function呢？......
头晕中，胡言乱语ing......
而且其实原题更为注重的是结论句，以及结论句和背景句之间的contrast，如果仅仅在背景句上面绕来绕去，就算对"教育"的认识比较深刻，恐怕也不容易作出点什么文章......不知道b1是不是这样的......
Re: 头晕中，简单谈谈
多谢imong斑竹的指点,斑竹太过谦了 :)偶知道问题在哪里了,题目倒没理解错,论证重心的严重偏移......
想想:b1,b2合一段简单论述就好了
重点在支持或反驳结论~
最初由 imong 发布
当然，也许我们可以给写成dual function呢？......
晕,这个......
难道把former education拆了,比如说初级教育遏制思想,高等教育解放思想?
或者说正规教育遏制某些思想精神解放其他思想精神? ISSUE128"It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free."
To free the mind and the spirit is one of various education purposes, which, however, is often overlooked by formal education nowadays. 如果which之前打上逗号，那他就表示之前的整个句子，所以你这个which应该紧紧跟着purpose,不应该有逗号。
There is a diverse array of education purposes. One of them is to make human beings knowledgeable, 同样的语法错误which is considered as primary goal of education by many schools. As current principal of Tokyo University once said (and I paraphrase):“One of the most important tasks of Tokyo University is to disseminate knowledge to the society.” The reason why some educators take imparting knowledge as one purposes【purpose】 of education is probably that as we all know, knowledge plays a more and more important part in the development of society presently while other than schools there is no proper place that can take on the task of enlightening human beings.这一句很别扭，希望能改一改 Besides, cultivating the social responsibility such 【as】protecting environment, standing in line when waiting for the bus and the like, which can make society more harmonious, and creating【用得不太恰当】 the habit of organized thinking and of rational analysis, which can be helpful when one learn new knowledge are both education objectives.
What about freeing the mind and the spirit? Is it also the purpose of education? The answer to the second question is doubtless yes. In 19th century, the founder of Berlin University set out a principal that advocates academic free, learning free and teaching free which is considered as the basic principal of most universities nowadays. The aim of this principal is no other than to create a free academic environment and free the mind and the spirit of students. The people whose mind and spirit are freed may think what【that】 they have learned critically rather than accepting them passively; may have active spirits as well as be eager to absorbing【absorb】 knowledge of their own accord; and may be creative, all of which are of benefit not only to the individuals but also to the society. Just as John Henry, Cardinal Newman said (and I paraphrase), knowledge is something more than a sort of passive reception of scraps and details, and only free mind people can digest and apply it well. It is no wonder that many educators state that one of the purpose of education is to free the mind and spirit. Based on the discussion above, we make easily make conclusion that to free mind and the spirit is one but not the only one purpose of education.
Although a great many of【不要of】 educators keep in mind that freeing mind and the spirit is one purpose of education, referring to implement they often drive to the contrary direction. One need not go further than look 【into】the example of formal education, which is largely characterized by classroom teaching, home work, tutorials, practical exercises, excursions etc. Each section of the formal education consists of a sequence of courses offered according to clearly marked curricula and normally also the syllabi are prescribed. What teachers do is to unceasingly present the book knowledge on the blackboard and stuff students' minds and brains 【去掉brain感觉会好些】with the dead facts. As for my university, we students spend most of our time in reciting outdated materials printed in the books in order not to fail in the exams and no teacher encourage us to think more which is also unnecessary if we only want to graduate. And as I known this phenomenon is prevalent in formal education all over the world.真的吗？你究竟调查过几个国家？
我觉得你这一段分析得很不恰当，难道照本宣科、只为应付考试都是formal education的固有特征吗？这恐怕只是中国当前的情况吧？比如老美，恐怕就没把考试看得那么重吧？
你并没有什么证据就凭空地讲全世界得情况都和你们学校一样，太想当然了，这能令人信服吗？
Moreover， you inappropriately defined the meaning of formal education. Have you thought of a question: what is informal education? And what is the difference between formal and informal education?
In conclusion，in today’s education, overlooking the importance of freeing the mind and the spirit which is one of the various purposes of education is a prevailing phenomena.
一、 本文只就purpose of education做了一个讨论，而对formal education则寥寥数语带过，偏题。
二、 本文缺乏严密的逻辑推理和有力的论证，只是做一些一般性的叙述，在关键问题上只引用一句名人的话作为证明，然而只有名人名言而无逻辑推理是没有说服力的。你看看一些5分以上的范文，他们根本不怎么引用名人名言，即使引用，也只起润色的作用，不会放在重要的位置。
三、 本文中语法错误不少，而且还有拼写错误――我觉得作者应该发上来之前自己先好好检查一下 嗯,多谢指教~
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