issue15社会类的,赶在同主题风暴间发一篇,大家猛拍啊,必回敬
Issue15 The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.-社会的安定取决于社会对人们极端行为的回应措施。
观点：社会的安定不但与对极端行为的回应有关，与民主化程度和经济发展，人民生活水平也有关。
1、恶意的极端行为威胁着社会的稳定，应该采取有效措施镇压-如美国校园枪击事件，恐怖主义。
2、民主化程度也影响着社会的稳定。如伊拉克萨达母
3、经济和人民生活水平影响社会稳定。如中国
Does the stability of a society rely on how it copes with the extremes of human behavior as the speaker's claim? In my opinion, the speaker’s assertion is an overstatement. I concede that the effective solution of human's extreme behavior contributes to the stability of society, but some other factors such as the level of democracy and living conditions which also influence the stability of society should be emphasized.
Admittedly, the inimical extremes of human behavior do great harm to society and should be tackled effectively and immediately. As we know, some illegal behaviors such as theft, robbery, and other crimes corresponding to extreme persons jeopardize the safety of people, disturbing the order of community, imperil the stability of society and thus government should suppress these dangerous deeds accordingly. For example, facing the rampant gun murder cases in US middle schools, only the government took severe measures to punish these crimes, can the students went to school regularly without any funk. To the same, facing the terrorists who always intentionally destroy the society, the government must take resolute and strict actions to eliminate such evil force. To the contrary, if these extreme cases would not be suppressed, the while society may bog down chaos and panic. Therefore, the attitude and measures towards extreme behaviors are very essential to keep a society stable.
However, though the significance of solving the extremes of human behavior, it is no denying that democracy also impact on the stability of society. Democracy which refers to the rights that people own such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom from want, may be regarded as the basic human right of whole people and if was bereaved would inevitably result in great turbulence of society. An old saying says: "where there is no democracy, there is no stability.” when people's discontent with the government accumulated to a degree that they could no longer bear it, then a rebellion was about to break out. To witness this old saying, one need look no further than Iraq. The collapse of Saddam government, to some extent, owned to the autocracy of the government and lack of democracy. In fact, a society that people who own high degree of democracy will live and work in peace and contentment.
Furthermore, people's living conditions and income will also influence on the stability of a society. Common sense tells us that materials requirement should firstly be taken into account. Obviously, the stability of society is based on the satisfaction of people's basic need. Without elementary materials and earning, people can hardly survive, not let alone keeping the stability of society. The development of China is a good illustration. During last 20 years since China’s reform and opening to abroad, the Chinese government has attached great importance on developing economy and endeavored to improve people's life conditions. Undoubtedly, nowadays, China has achieved a stable society benefiting from these efforts. Whereas, some other developing countries whose governors went after “power game” and ignored the development of their people's life could not keep social stability.
In sum, the stability of a society relates not only to the disposal of the extremes of human behaviors but also social democracy and the development of economy. In order to the stability of society, all these factors should be considered by governments. 本来想给你改的，第一次用那个改作文的工具，都改了那么多了，一下子没弄好全没了，而且连续2次，郁闷！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！有时间再看吧！不好意思了！ 谢谢了,没关系,我会密切关注你的文章的 Issue15 The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.
-社会的安定取决于社会对人们极端行为的回应措施。
观点：社会的安定不但与对极端行为的回应有关，与民主化程度和经济发展，人民生活水平也有关。
1、恶意的极端行为威胁着社会的稳定，应该采取有效措施镇压-如美国校园枪击事件，恐怖主义。
2、民主化程度也影响着社会的稳定。如伊拉克萨达母
3、经济和人民生活水平影响社会稳定。如中国
楼主的提纲是否有跑题的嫌疑呢，statement是说社会稳定取决于什么，不是说跟什么有关。我还是觉得这样写不妥，楼主是否再斟酌一下。 :rolleyes:
Does the stability of a society rely on how it copes with the extremes of human behavior as the speaker's claim（应该是as the speaker claims）? In my opinion, the speaker’s assertion is an overstatement. I concede that the effective solution of human's extreme behavior contributes to the stability of society, but some other factors such as the level of democracy and living conditions which also influence the stability of society should be emphasized.
Admittedly, the inimical extremes of human behavior do great harm to society and should be tackled effectively and immediately. As we know, some illegal behaviors such as theft, robbery, and other crimes corresponding to extreme persons jeopardize the safety of people, disturbing（并列谓语，应该用原形） the order of community, imperil the stability of society and （这里可以把and 去掉，加个分号，使得句子意思更有层次一些）thus government should suppress these dangerous deeds accordingly. For example, facing the rampant gun murder cases in US middle schools, only the government took severe measures to punish these crimes,（去掉逗号） can the students went to school regularly without any funk. To the same（有这种表达吗，我没见过，可能是我孤陋寡闻，呵呵）, facing the terrorists who always intentionally destroy the society, the government must take resolute and strict actions to eliminate such evil force. To the contrary, if these extreme cases would not be suppressed, the while society（？？？） may bog down chaos and panic. Therefore, the attitude and measures towards extreme behaviors are very essential to keep a society stable.
论证还可以，但语言有待提高。你的句式最好要经过一些训练。
However, though the significance of solving the extremes of human behavior（这是个短语，是不能被though引导做让步分句的）, it is no denying that democracy also impact on the stability of society. Democracy which refers（换成referring 是否好一些） to the rights that people own such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom from want（这么多freedom其实可以只写一个，还有from want 是错误的表达）, may be regarded as the basic human right of whole people and if was bereaved would inevitably result in great turbulence of society（这个句子有根本性的语病，缺乏主语）. An old saying says: "where there is no democracy, there is no stability.” when people's discontent with the government accumulated to a degree that they could no longer bear it, then a rebellion was about to break out. To witness this old saying, one need（s） look no further than Iraq. The collapse of Saddam government, to some extent, owned to the autocracy of the government and lack of democracy. In fact, a society that people who own high degree of democracy will live and work in peace and contentment.
伊拉克这种对老美来说严重敏感的话题还是不提为妙吧，嘻嘻。 :p 论证还不错。
Furthermore, people's living conditions and income will also influence on（去掉on） the stability of a society. Common sense tells us that materials requirement should firstly be taken into account. Obviously, the stability of society is based on the satisfaction of people's basic（al） need. Without elementary materials and earning, people can hardly survive, not(去掉not) let alone keeping the stability of society. The development of China is a good illustration. During last 20 years since China’s reform and opening to abroad, the Chinese government has attached great importance on developing economy and endeavored to improve people's life conditions. Undoubtedly, nowadays, China has achieved a stable society benefiting from these efforts. Whereas, some other developing countries whose governors went after “power game” and ignored the development of their people's life could not keep social stability. （这个句子word提示有问题，可是我也不会改SIGH）
总是感觉你的句子读起来有些别扭，可能是今天状态不好。 :o HOWEVER，你的例子都挺到位的。
In sum, the stability of a society relates not only to the disposal of the extremes of human behaviors but also social democracy and the development of economy. In order to the stability of society, all these factors should be considered by governments.
总体来看，论证我觉得都能满足要求，可是语言还是建议你下一些工夫。而且你这样只提相关性不说决定性的写法我还是持保留态度。你可以参考一下别人是怎么写的，我没写这篇。
不好意思，无论我怎样弄那个变色工具都变不了色，所以看起来可能有些吃力。见谅哈！ :o Issue15 The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.
-社会的安定取决于社会对人们极端行为的回应措施。
观点：社会的安定不但与对极端行为的回应有关，与民主化程度和经济发展，人民生活水平也有关。
1、恶意的极端行为威胁着社会的稳定，应该采取有效措施镇压-如美国校园枪击事件，恐怖主义。
2、民主化程度也影响着社会的稳定。如伊拉克萨达母
3、经济和人民生活水平影响社会稳定。如中国
Does the stability of a society rely on how it copes with the extremes of human behavior as the speaker's claim? In my opinion, the speaker's assertion is an overstatement. I concede that the effective solution of human's extreme behavior contributes to the stability of society, but some other factors such as the level of democracy and living conditions which also influence the stability of society should be emphasized.
Admittedly, the inimical extremes of human behavior do great harm to society and should be tackled effectively and immediately. As we know, some illegal behaviors such as theft, robbery, and other crimes corresponding to extreme persons jeopardize the safety of people, disturbing the order of community, imperil 【imperiling】 the stability of society and thus government should suppress these dangerous deeds accordingly. For example, facing the rampant gun murder cases in US middle schools, only the government took severe measures to punish these crimes, can the students went to school regularly without any funk. To the same, 【similarly 】 facing the terrorists who always intentionally destroy the society, the government must take resolute and strict actions to eliminate such evil force. To the contrary,【However， 因为to the contrary 好像不太舒服！ 说不好 感觉 呵呵 】 if these extreme cases would not be suppressed, the while society may bog down 【into 】chaos and panic. Therefore, the attitude and measures towards extreme behaviors are very essential to keep a society stable.
However, though the significance of solving the extremes of human behavior, it is no denying that democracy also impact on the stability of society. Democracy which refers to the rights that people own such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom from want, may be regarded as the basic human right of whole people and if was bereaved would inevitably result in great turbulence of society. An old saying says: "where there is no democracy, there is no stability." when people's discontent with the government accumulated to a degree that they could no longer bear it, then a rebellion was about to break out. To witness【test 】 this old saying, one need look no further than Iraq. The collapse of Saddam government, to some extent, owned to 【想说owe to ? owe to 好像褒义～～ attribute to 】 the autocracy of the government and lack of democracy. In fact, a society that people who own high degree of democracy will live and work in peace and contentment.
Furthermore, people's living conditions and income will also influence on the stability of a society. Common sense tells us that materials requirement should firstly be taken into account. Obviously, the stability of society is based on the satisfaction of people's basic need. Without elementary materials and earning, people can hardly survive, not【去掉not】 let alone keeping the stability of society. The development of China is a good illustration. During last 20 years since China's reform and opening to abroad, the Chinese government has attached great importance on developing economy and endeavored to improve people's life conditions. Undoubtedly, nowadays, China has achieved a stable society benefiting from these efforts. Whereas, some other developing countries whose governors went after "power game" and ignored the development of their people's life could not keep social stability.
In sum, the stability of a society relates not only to the disposal of the extremes of human behaviors but also social democracy and the development of economy. In order to the stability of society, all these factors should be considered by governments.
思路清楚 词语不错 尤其是B2
句子之间的逻辑再加强点 比如transition words 加油！！
呵呵 搜索好文的时候 偶遇的 就拍了 好像老了一点～
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