coweiliang 发表于 2005-4-9 00:07:33

Issue41 限时失败,好upset,要考了啊,请帮忙砸砖啊

Issue41  第8篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
提纲:
1,(admittedly)nanmainstream sciences 为人们舒缓心理上的压力,有心里暗示作用。
2。对个人的发展不利
3。对社会的发展也没有帮助
------正文------
Our ancestors in the ancient time usually turned to astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits for help, because their limited knowledge could never seem to be enough to explain most of what they saw and experienced. However, with the development of science, the majority of those predictions and conclusions have been proved to be ridiculous and irrational. As I see it, although those nonmainstream sciences have indeed assisted to satisfy some psychological and metal needs of individuals to some extent, it is ridiculous to expect them to play a crucial role in our society.

Admittedly, those nonmainstream areas can sometimes satisfy our metal and psychological needs. It is human's nature to desire to know more about the future and avoid the disadvantageous. While we are still facing much uncertainty, insecurity and confusion, these suspicious assertion, as a result, would easily make an illusion in our minds that those poor choices and disasters are actually unavoidable, which occasionally serve to shift the burden of making choices and sooth the bad feelings or pressure. At the same time, a favorable self-implication is helpful in accelerating personal initiative. It is estimated that when a person thinks he/she is fortunate in certain periods, he/ she will be more confident and perform better than he/ she usually does.     
   
While these pursuits help people to feel better about themselves, the potential harms of the nonmainstream areas produced on individuals far outweigh the psychological benefits. Firstly, a scientific method used to investigate on behaviors and make prediction is based on sufficient evidence and researches. It will never be easy to reveal the truth. However, the studies of astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits are different. By every means, the fortune tellers and astrologers exaggerate their capacity to foresee the future, and make people believe their advice. Moreover, they are irresponsible, in that they just provide people vague words. If the facts turn out to be against what they predicted, they will just attribute to inaccurate understanding of readers. If this is the case, the world would involve more uncertainty and confusion that it seems to be impossible for anyone to determine anything ourselves, which in return, added to the mental sufferings. For example, if a person believe in all of the predictions of the fortune-teller and astrologers, he / she might be likely to take it for granted that the success and failure are previously designed by some sort of power. This kind of passive thoughts is detrimental, for it kills the personal initiative. Ultimately, nonmainsteam sciences do not solve the problems left by the mainstream science.

Meanwhile, they will also encumber the development of human society. The threshold and fundamental weakness of these nonmainstream areas lies in their nature of lacking reasonable basis. Unlike sciences, which are based on experiments and factual observation, no legitimacy could be found to evaluate the availabilities of these suspicious predictions. The astrologers and fortune-tellers cannot list out any convincing reasons, but attribute their findings and predictions to mysterious power or guidance. Secondly, absolutism will easily control the minds, thinking and behaviors of the public through these people. The dominant religious control over the freedom of minds and the development of science in the medieval-age Europe is an egregious example. Therefore, when it comes to the development of science nonmainstream science cannot bring anything useful.

In sum, conceded that the nonmainstream areas of inquiry help to relive people and sooth bad feeling of individuals, they cannot tackle any problem that mainstream science cannot address. Contrarily, it confines the advancement of society and cause passive motions on individuals.

Alier 发表于 2005-4-9 14:35:58

------正文------
Our ancestors in the ancient time usually turned to astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits for help, because their limited knowledge could never seem to be enough to explain most of what they saw and experienced. However, with the development of science, the majority of those predictions and conclusions have been proved to be ridiculous and irrational.这句再稍微简洁点更好 As I see it, although those nonmainstream sciences have indeed assisted to satisfy some psychological and metal needs of individuals to some extent, it is ridiculous to expect them to play a crucial role in our society.这句感觉不错

Admittedly, those nonmainstream areas can sometimes satisfy our metal and psychological needs. It is human's nature to desire natural desireto know more about the future and avoid the disadvantageousmaking bad decisions. While we are still facing much uncertainty, insecurity and confusion, these suspicious assertion, as a result, would easily make an illusion in our minds that those poor choices and disasters are actually unavoidable, which occasionally serve to shift the burden of making choices and sooth the bad feelings or pressure. 这句意思不太清晰At the same time, a favorable self-implication is helpful in accelerating personal initiative. It is estimated that when a person thinks he/she is fortunate in certain periods, he/ she will be more confident and perform better than he/ she usually does.
感觉这段没有说清楚为什么让人们feel better

While these pursuits help people to feel better about themselves, the potential harms of the nonmainstream areas produced on individuals far outweigh the psychological benefits. Firstly, a scientific method used to investigate on behaviors and make prediction is based on sufficient evidence and researches. It will never be easy to reveal the truth. However, the studies of astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits are different. By every means, the fortune tellers and astrologers exaggerate their capacity to foresee the future, and make people believe their advice.这层是要说明什么问题?感觉没有点出来。 Moreover, they are irresponsible, in that they just provide people vague words. If the facts turn out to be against what they predicted, they will just attribute to inaccurate understanding of readers.这个只能说明他们是骗人的,但是没有跟对于人们有坏处联系起来 If this is the case, the world would involve more uncertainty and confusion that it seems to be impossible for anyone to determine anything ourselvesby himself, which in return, added to the mental sufferings. For example, if a person believe in all of the predictions of the fortune-teller and astrologers, he / she might be likely to take it for granted that the success and failure are previously designed by some sort of power. This kind of passive thoughts is detrimental, for it kills the personal initiative. 这个例子感觉和前面的说理基本上是重复的,也就是说不够具体。Ultimately, nonmainsteam sciences do not solve the problems left by the mainstream science.

Meanwhile, they will also encumber the development of human society. The threshold and fundamental weakness of these nonmainstream areas lies in their nature of lacking reasonable basis. Unlike sciences, which are based on experiments and factual observation, no legitimacy could be found to evaluate the availabilities of these suspicious predictions. 从这句看,这段主题好像和上段的有些重复The astrologers and fortune-tellers cannot list out any convincing reasons, but attribute their findings and predictions to mysterious power or guidance. Secondly, absolutism will easily control the minds, thinking and behaviors of the public through these people. The dominant religious control over the freedom of minds and the development of science in the medieval-age Europe is an egregious example. Therefore, when it comes to the development of science nonmainstream science cannot bring anything useful.

In sum, concededconceding that the nonmainstream areas of inquiry help to relive people and sooth bad feeling of individuals, they cannot tackle any problem that mainstream science cannot address. Contrarily, it confines the advancement of society and cause passive motionseffect、influence on individuals.

总体上看来,感觉各段和第一段的主题句照应不是太好(比如ts中说他没有play vital role,实际上是承认了他有一定作用,但后面的论述中感觉好像把这个观点换为了 否定it addressed what mainstream science has not addressed。),可能稍微把主题修改下为好。
还有个问题就是每段里面展开的层次有,但例子比较缺乏力度,有编撰的感觉,应该注意一下。

恩,就这么多了,呵呵,继续加油。
我今天恰好也写了这篇的,有空帮我看看吧。

nora0020 发表于 2005-4-9 18:04:41

这个时候看看以前写的找找感觉,调节一下比较重要,我也没有时间帮你看了
共勉,看你至少也能有4分了, take it easy
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