issue 7 大家帮拍
7、"The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records." （471字）Has the video camera become a more important form of documentation than written records? The speaker claims so. As matter of fact, the issue is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different views due to their distinct backgrounds. Therefore, there is not a universal answer to this question. As far as I am concerned, however, I do not agree with the speaker. I agree that both the video camera and written records have their own merits in certain aspects, and both of them are important form of documentation in our times. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.
At the first place, argument that can be presented to develop my position is that the video camera acts as an important form of documentation nowadays. The video camera has a great merit which can reappears the vision. It provides a visual and colorful vision for people, which is more directed to understand and convinced. A good example may be found in the case that in a courtroom, a lawyer accuses the defendant that he was at the place when the murder happened, and the lawyer talk to every one in the room that it is the truth. But not all of the people in the room convince him. Yet when the lawyer presents a photo recording the crime to all the people in the courtroom, all of them will know it is true that the defendant commit the crime. Under the circumstance, it is obvious that the documentation of the video camera have some merits.
In addition, there is another reason for me to assure that the documentation of written records has its own merits. The reason is not far to seek that this form of documentation can record the thinking of people which can not easily be done by the video camera form. To illustrate the point clearly, here is a good example that is very persuasive. In the math and physics fields, a theory and its logical reasons can not be showed and recorded by the video forms of documentation. When a scientist records his/her theory, one should record his/her process of thinking and express it to the people. All the things can not be done in the visual ways. Hence anther important aspect is that written records also play an important role in our times.
However both of the two forms have their own merits and disadvantages. Consider, for example, the video camera form can give us directly sense and the other can express the thinking of people. Supposing we use the right form in the right place, it will make our lives more convenient
All in all, due to the above mentioned reasons. We can easily conclude that both of two forms are important for people, and one can not substitute the other. 7、"The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records." （471字）
Has the video camera become a more important form of documentation than written records? The speaker claims so. As matter of fact, the issue is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different views due to their distinct backgrounds. Therefore, there is not a universal answer to this question. As far as I am concerned, however, I do not agree with the speaker. I agree [前面有一个agree了这里最好能换一下,consider怎么样？] that both the video camera and written records have their own merits in certain aspects, and both of them are important form of documentation in our times. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions. [这是一道比较的题，因为题目中说的是more，因为有了这个词，就不能象你这么说了，参见追星箭特训里面关于比较级题形的解答方法，这里如果想表达他俩都很重要，应该换成，they are “equally” important, 强调一个比的过程 ]
At the first place, argument that can be presented to develop my position is that the video camera acts as an important form of documentation nowadays. The video camera has a great merit which can reappears the vision. It provides a visual and colorful vision for people, which is more directed to understand and convinced. A good example may be found in the case that in a courtroom, a lawyer accuses the defendant that he was at the place when the murder happened, and the lawyer talk to every one in the room that it is the truth. But not all of the people in the room convince him. Yet when the lawyer presents a photo recording the crime to all the people in the courtroom, all of them will know it is true that the defendant commit the crime. Under the circumstance, it is obvious that the documentation of the video camera have some merits. [这里分析的很好，我在提供一个思路，video camera 还可以 present the sound.]
In addition, there is another reason for me to assure that the documentation of written records has its own merits. The reason is not far to seek that this form of documentation can record the thinking of people which can not easily be done by the video camera form. To illustrate the point clearly, here is a good example that is very persuasive. In the math and physics fields, a theory and its logical reasons can not be showed and recorded by the video forms of documentation. When a scientist records his/her theory, one should record his/her process of thinking and express it to the people. All the things can not be done in the visual ways. Hence anther important aspect is that written records also play an important role in our times. [这里也分析的不错，把书本不可被替代的一个特点指出来了，但最后一句可否改一下，说这就是为什么摄象机不能取代书本记录的原因，this is the reason why the writing documentation can not be replaced by the video camera]
However both of the two forms have their own merits and disadvantages. Consider, for example, the video camera form can give us directly sense and the other can express the thinking of people. Supposing we use the right form in the right place, it will make our lives more convenient
All in all, due to the above mentioned reasons. We can easily conclude that both of two forms are important for people, and one can not substitute the other.
整篇文章总的感觉挺好，词语也做到了多变，只是有一些细节问题注意一下就ok 了，继续努力 谢谢 朋友指点
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