ladzh，我挥掌乱拍，拍疼了你可别怪我！疼怕了你也可以回拍，^_^
Nowadays there is general debate over, as for a cultural, whether formal education is the primary way to perpetuate the ideas the culture tries to favor（favors就行了，tries to favor是什么意思，不明白） or discard the ideas it fears. Upon thinking about the issue, I concede that formal educational（用个形容词在这里做什么？） is an important means to inherit brilliant cultural ideas or discard the improper（最好改一下这个形容词，原题中说的the ideas that a culture fears，不是说‘不正确’的ideas） ones. However, as far as I am concerned, formal education is just one of three main ways of making a（单复数请分清） cultural ideas eternal of abandon the valueless ones: education, social movement（社会运动？）, and public voice.Admittedly, education provides abundant opportunities for people to have access to a multitude of cultural ideas, including family education and formal school education. Undoubtedly, whoever one is,, the moment he/she was born, he is（时态请保持一致） influenced by his/her parents’ ideas inevitably. What he thinks and behaves depends on what kind of family he is and what cultural ideas the family favors or fears. After he/she grows up and goes to school, as a result, school plays a vital role in teaching them which to cherish and which to disdain on how to appreciate essential cultural ideas. For example, as for Chinese, people were taught to learn about the canon of Confucian（这个是形容词） since childhood, which help them shape the life of philosophy on honesty, lenience, and generosity. Also it was Confucius who first established the earliest school in China to popularize Confucianism, which became the classic of cultural ideas for over 3000 years. Therefore, education indeed makes significant contribution to perpetuate cultural ideas.
Aside from education, social cultural movement also help（s） preserve the essence of cultural ideas and throw away the cultural rubbish. Take the Renaissance of the sixteenth century as an example, Italy, on one hand, witnessed the resurgent of Humanism, which led to an unprecedented ebullience period of art, sculpture, poetry and architecture etc（etc用法错误，请自己查一下字典） that exert great influence on the cultural development in Europe; on the other hand, Italy sighed the downfall of theology which has dominated the cultural ideology for ages at that time. Times again Europe experienced cultural prosperity in a variety of fields that consequently bridged the cultural gap between the West and the East, and times again these social cultural movements conserve the paramount ideas one culture prefers to and enriches the cultural horizon as well.
As time went on, one will be faced with the society where is fraught with a diverse array of choices to make everyday. Therefore, by contacting with different people, and dealing with different matters, one can embrace the ideas he favors and disregard he dislikes according to his own choices. Cultural ideas vary form country to country and hence vary from people to people. Thereby the ways of keeping or discrediting the cultural ideas depends on distinctive voice form public.
In conclusion, Although I agree with the speaker that formal education is a means to for one to choose the cultural ideas he/she prefers or disregard the ones he/she dislikes to some degree, Another two approaches, social cultural movement and public opinion are equally primary for one to follow.
说老实话，对作者此文我的评价不高，如果按照GRE评分标准来看，属于3分（limited）一类的作文。
比较严重的缺点和错误有如下几类：
第一，在语言上：冠词误用，形容词名词乱用，时态、语态混乱，详见文中以括号标出的地方，时态混乱尤其在第二段非常明显，请作者自己看看自己列举的例子；
这里暂且猜测作者写完此文匆忙就贴了上来，自己没有作任何自我修改；
第二，在结构上，作者整体思路比较清楚，部分赞同speaker的观点，并进行补充；但是意群段落内部结构混乱，论述无力，缺乏对论点有效和合理的支持。例如第一个论述段落群，作者本意是要说明education（这里暂且不论题目中的formal education，作者尚未对对其进行有力回应，反而扯到了家庭教育上）对于延伸社会所钟爱的“ideas”的作用，但是整个论述一会儿说家庭影响，一会儿说学校教育，在两个都只是简单提及的情况下，又转到了孔夫子对中国的影响上去了，作为例子，孔子的例子对于论点可以是一个很好的支持，但是论述成这样或许更好一些：我们的文化一向尊崇“孔老二”，因此，我们在教育当中不断向学生们灌输他的思想，同时驳斥一切与其背道而驰的理论，在家里父母长辈也每天在我们耳边念叨，尊孔爱国，严防死守资本主义侵蚀，因此我们每一代都是背负了“仁义礼智信”的教义而长大的，也就珍视这些思想而鄙视我们的异类思想例如“享乐主义”“资本主义”“无组织，无纪律”等等等等。由此可见，起码中国的文化是通过教育来强化有利思想而弱化不利思想的；第二个意义群也有些勉强，首先social movement是个误用，其次，文艺复兴也是一个好例子，但是作者似乎缺乏对材料有效的组织，仅仅在文中提出了一个“神学”的倒台，到底倒台了又怎样？哪些东西得到了强化——即，哪些是culture favors？哪些东西最终被摒弃——即culture fears（注意这里是害怕，而不是说obsolete等等）？第三个段落就是作者在打迷踪拳了，前文提到过public voice，按照字面意思可能是“群众声音”，难道是“舆论”但是舆论单词是“public opinion”啊，后来论述的却和前文提及风马牛不相及，讲一个人在社会里面闯荡遇到很多ideas，然后他自己去选择，作者你是不是在考考阅卷人是否记得你前面的综述哦？还有你的结尾简直不堪入目啊，真是离题万里——题目说的是culture来perpetuate它的favorite ideas，你却说一个人在选择culture ideas，我看你写到这里已经彻底糊涂了——或者是我已经看糊涂了。
第三，作者的分析——即很多comments中强调的“analysis”有些欠缺，说实话，是很欠缺，建议再详细读一下6分的几篇极品范文。
问题暂时就说这么多，最后再给你一块糖——其实你的论证思路还是清楚的，只是最后走偏了。 队长，找到组织了，加我一个吧！ 不知道如何加入作文群，是QQ号吗，不好意思，很土的说
？？？偶刚刚创建一个作文群，请加群号
14544036 我今天的作业，issue174
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=317930&page=1#pid1730283
谢谢大家了
我今天的作业, 第一篇ISSUE,大家帮忙狠狠批啊,谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318126&extra=page%3D1今天的ARGU, 149,麻烦帮忙改下,可以互结partner,以后固定互相改啊
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318135 issue 51https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=317616&fpage=1&highlight=%2Bnaturalbeau
arugment 38
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318208&extra=page%3D1%26filter%3Dtype%26typeid%3D102 argu53
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318253
issue这就写去。。。 issue10第二次写，还是不太有感觉，正好45分钟，但是文章很……请狠拍！
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318294&extra=page%3D1%26filter%3Dtype%26typeid%3D101
我今天的issue 作业，请大家狠拍，谢谢！
我今天的issue 作业，请大家狠拍，谢谢！https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318319&extra=page%3D1
我今天的argu，交作业，argu20,较高频
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318646&extra=page%3D1%26filter%3Dtype%26typeid%3D102突然发现我的argu53还没有被拍过。。。
哪位帮帮忙啊？拍完留下你的链接，偶也去大规模杀伤性地拍一拍，嘿嘿 https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=318670&fpage=1&highlight=
[ Last edited by clylize on 2005-8-14 at 23:08 ] Originally posted by Esther.Li at 2005-8-14 15:35
哪位帮帮忙啊？
拍完留下你的链接，偶也去大规模杀伤性地拍一拍，嘿嘿
我看了 你字数太少了呀 重新写了 我拍^_^