与孙远推荐的不同的写法， 附Issue188
有孙远的《GRE作文》的人会发现,其中范文的段首句或者模板句为了概括全段总显得硬梆梆的. 不论是Issue还是Argument, 大家为了套作文提纲文章也总好像在喊口号(e.g. in the first place,in the second place....), 牵强地扣住主体或题目. 然而,这种注重形式而忽略内涵的写法与ETS发布的范文完全不同, 也让11月份的考兄们吃尽苦头.倘若看看6分5分作文的remark or comment, 我不禁发觉有些尽管明显没有写完, 缺少conclution的作文也能得6分, 因为批卷者对他的complexity也就是内涵给于很高的评价,并且那些作文也并非都把中心句放在段首,也并非一定像托福作文那一开头就表明立场,而是采取一种推理的手段,让读者自然而然就了解作者的意图和构思.
想想也是. 其实我们的高考作文也很抽象吧与GRE作文有类似, 那些形式漂亮, 内容空洞的文章觉得不了空洞, 我们这些人在高考作文中不也是驾权得当,游刃有余吗? 怎么换作英语,就变得谨慎,小儿科了呢?
以下我根据ETS的要求写了一篇ISSUE188....不知效果如何....我们完全可以用我们身边中国这几年发生的事作为例证, 而不必舍近求远写一些我们不熟悉的美国文化,例如democratic, struggle against racism等.
(最近看了张艺谋的<英雄>和陈凯歌的<跟你在一起>, 形式和内容,署者者更为重, 我有了进一步领悟)
188"Success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and, eventually, to change it."
Many wonder the intrinsic impact of industrial revolution over the last century. Is it a blessing or a curse? Ever since the invention of steam engine, mass production enabled factories to make out products in a madly efficient manner, while machines also supplanted innumerous traditionally skilled artisan, forcing them out of work. Gone are the days when they boasted of their craftsmanship that they assumed to be able support their family all their life. Consumers became more aspiring to novel design instead of durability as goods were made to be discarded.
Hundreds years later, with the first installation of integrated circuit on the chip, another profound turnover took place. Now the computer pervades our life so much that one may find himself half illiterate in absence of input skill. This time, thousands of jobs were created in Silicon Valley, transforming some of the few into billionaire over one night. Nevertheless, the original inventor might not expect that the ensuing slow down and thus recession in IT sector would approach so soon in less than 10 years, which is obviously less than a presumable 15 years time normal for a periodical change.
Positive or negative, one mark that characterizes the technological bombardment indicates a constant fact: changes exist ubiquitously and operating at an ever-increasing tempo; those who fail to catch up with the torrent of change would ineluctably engulfed by billows, floating no where and eventually dissolve as negligible bubbles.
Favors as well as opportunities goes to who adapt to the contemporary trend. Fully recognizing this axiom, long before the scientists announced accomplishment of sketches of human genes or earlier successful cloning of Doris, candidates preparing for university admission have smelt the sense. Today, in the U.S., biology and its branch disciplines become the first choice for top students of senior high, determining that this subject, foretold as the third wave in technology, could bring them brilliant future as “Bill Gates” dreamt the same in the previous wave.
In addition to academic realm, respect would be paid to people who though deprived of their past secure professions, choose not to be a loser in the whimsical society. Like the artisans who lost jobs, a vast number of skilled laborer in China’s city of Wengzhou have undergone darkness and depression in those old days. However, after years of endeavor and refinement, they prove their value again. By accurately posit the economic trend and market demand, they play an active role in almost all economic sectors, garments, catering and lodging, hi-tech industry, you name it.
While ability honed in surviving the fickleness of the world makes the path through success shorter, it is essential for the more ambitious to acquire the pith of reformist and lead the trend. In this way, it could help him distinguish from the mediocracy and platitude. This is absolutely not an easy task. Inborn insight and foresight are needed to tell uncommon out of the commonplace; extraordinary perseverance and encouragement is a must to face the coming challenges against his iconoclasm. Very few people crowned with triumph possess this quality, whether the Nobel Prize winner or those who makes coverage on the Times.
In sum, as shown in the course of history, success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to surviving in a new environment and---, eventually, ---to change it. Now some elite persons have again forecast that another social change is impending. Are you ready for that?
各有利弊
时间是一个令人头痛的问题，可是你在看孙远提纲的时候就不独立思考吗？如果有独立思考的这一过程也会便于记忆对每个题目，以及遇到这个题目该怎么应对。。。背孙远的提纲是能够节省时间，但如果大家都这么做的话，就会有作弊的嫌疑。现在有一个办法同样利用提纲有排除这种嫌疑的方法， 那就是将孙远或其他你认为能够表达主旨意思的提纲进行改造，用自己的话写一遍。这样一方面易于记忆，另一方面在写的过程中会想出其他的论据。。。以克服中国人的千篇一律。11.23是一个教训！！ 我赞成的方法是，什么都别依赖，看到题目立刻动手写文章，锻炼真实考试时的水平和心理状态，写完之后再对照其他人的提纲和想法（包括孙远的）、修改句子、查找不认识的单词、寻找合适的例子等。我觉得独立的思考能力是必需的,大家都背提纲只能重蹈覆辙. 好羡慕sunbeamyli 的文笔，要是我。。。。
那就好罗！！！呵呵
谢谢
谢谢，其实我也有许多不够的地方，最大的困难就是在45分钟内搞定。我想通过多写多练挥好些的吧。加
当然还要多总结。to sunbeamyli
你寫得很好, 我最大的困難是不是沒有好的英文寫作技巧, 而是想不到點子, 因為本人實在常識太差, gre的題目就算叫我用中文寫也有困難, 簡單一句, 便是缺乏獨立思考能力, 本人11月的awa 只有3.5, 打算在外多考一次, 謝謝你一語中的寫作心得To turtle24
那你可以先参考一下别人的提纲和论据，或者将想不到好点子的题目贴出来，征求大家的意见，集思广益。多看，再结合自己的观点，一定能写得出来的。我就是这么做的，不信你试试看！：）issue188的论证思路，很少人写，大家来讨论一下吧，郁闷了一晚上
ISSUE188Sccess, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and-, eventually,-to change it.
不知所云，题目看了10分钟才懂什么意思。后来在优秀习作区只找到一篇，确实是不拘定法的好文。但是看完以后问题也来了：这题目似乎只能这么写。还有什么更好的思路和点子呢！
好文章啊好文章
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=79990&highlight=issue188与孙远推荐的不同的写法， 附Issue 188
有孙远的《GRE作文》的人会发现,其中范文的段首句或者模板句为了概括全段总显得硬梆梆的. 不论是Issue还是Argument, 大家为了套作文提纲文章也总好像在喊口号(e.g. in the first place,in the second place....), 牵强地扣住主体或题目. 然而,这种注重形式而忽略内涵的写法与ETS发布的范文完全不同, 也让11月份的考兄们吃尽苦头.
倘若看看6分5分作文的remark or comment, 我不禁发觉有些尽管明显没有写完, 缺少conclution的作文也能得6分, 因为批卷者对他的complexity也就是内涵给于很高的评价,并且那些作文也并非都把中心句放在段首,也并非一定像托福作文那一开头就表明立场,而是采取一种推理的手段,让读者自然而然就了解作者的意图和构思.
想想也是. 其实我们的高考作文也很抽象吧与GRE作文有类似, 那些形式漂亮, 内容空洞的文章觉得不了空洞, 我们这些人在高考作文中不也是驾权得当,游刃有余吗? 怎么换作英语,就变得谨慎,小儿科了呢?
以下我根据ETS的要求写了一篇ISSUE188....不知效果如何....我们完全可以用我们身边中国这几年发生的事作为例证, 而不必舍近求远写一些我们不熟悉的美国文化,例如democratic, struggle against racism等.
(最近看了张艺谋的<英雄>和陈凯歌的<跟你在一起>, 形式和内容,署者者更为重, 我有了进一步领悟)
188"Success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and, eventually, to change it."
Many wonder the intrinsic impact of industrial revolution over the last century. Is it a blessing or a curse? Ever since the invention of steam engine, mass production enabled factories to make out products in a madly efficient manner, while machines also supplanted innumerous traditionally skilled artisan, forcing them out of work. Gone are the days when they boasted of their craftsmanship that they assumed to be able support their family all their life. Consumers became more aspiring to novel design instead of durability as goods were made to be discarded.
Hundreds years later, with the first installation of integrated circuit on the chip, another profound turnover took place. Now the computer pervades our life so much that one may find himself half illiterate in absence of input skill. This time, thousands of jobs were created in Silicon Valley, transforming some of the few into billionaire over one night. Nevertheless, the original inventor might not expect that the ensuing slow down and thus recession in IT sector would approach so soon in less than 10 years, which is obviously less than a presumable 15 years time normal for a periodical change.
Positive or negative, one mark that characterizes the technological bombardment indicates a constant fact: changes exist ubiquitously and operating at an ever-increasing tempo; those who fail to catch up with the torrent of change would ineluctably engulfed by billows, floating no where and eventually dissolve as negligible bubbles.
Favors as well as opportunities goes to who adapt to the contemporary trend. Fully recognizing this axiom, long before the scientists announced accomplishment of sketches of human genes or earlier successful cloning of Doris, candidates preparing for university admission have smelt the sense. Today, in the U.S., biology and its branch disciplines become the first choice for top students of senior high, determining that this subject, foretold as the third wave in technology, could bring them brilliant future as “Bill Gates” dreamt the same in the previous wave.
In addition to academic realm, respect would be paid to people who though deprived of their past secure professions, choose not to be a loser in the whimsical society. Like the artisans who lost jobs, a vast number of skilled laborer in China’s city of Wengzhou have undergone darkness and depression in those old days. However, after years of endeavor and refinement, they prove their value again. By accurately posit the economic trend and market demand, they play an active role in almost all economic sectors, garments, catering and lodging, hi-tech industry, you name it.
While ability honed in surviving the fickleness of the world makes the path through success shorter, it is essential for the more ambitious to acquire the pith of reformist and lead the trend. In this way, it could help him distinguish from the mediocracy and platitude. This is absolutely not an easy task. Inborn insight and foresight are needed to tell uncommon out of the commonplace; extraordinary perseverance and encouragement is a must to face the coming challenges against his iconoclasm. Very few people crowned with triumph possess this quality, whether the Nobel Prize winner or those who makes coverage on the Times.
In sum, as shown in the course of history, success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to surviving in a new environment and---, eventually, ---to change it. Now some elite persons have again forecast that another social change is impending. Are you ready for that? 此文一出，我觉得怎么写也难以超越这个框架了。所以不知不觉，我列的提纲也模仿着SUNBEAMY（原作者）的路子。但是无论如何，背景知识都无法像他那样如同顺手拈来。怎么办？
题目翻译：成功，不管是学术上的还是专业上的，都具有一种能力，那就是适应新环境甚至最终改变新环境。 ISSUE188
Sccess, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and-, eventually,-to change it.
position: There are many ways to define success and therefore different approach to corresponding success.
1, People can success both by surviving and changing a new environment and by excelling in an old environment.
2, Another way of understanding success is to regard it as failure with the dust brushed off
3, Personally, I would rather to define success as doing one's best to become the best that one is capable of being.
personal opinion 写得很深刻，有点难嚼 188"Success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and, eventually, to change it."
成功，无论学术还是专业上，都需要适应并最终改变新的环境的能力。
Many wonder the intrinsic impact of industrial revolution over the last century. Is it a blessing or a curse? （这个句子值得学习！） Ever since the invention of steam engine, mass production enabled factories to make out products in a madly efficient manner, while machines also supplanted innumerous traditionally skilled artisan, forcing them out of work. Gone are the days when they boasted of their craftsmanship that they assumed（assume to我不知道有没有这种用法？） to be able support their family all their life. Consumers became more aspiring（好词！） to novel design instead of durability as goods were made to be discarded.
工业革命让那些手工业者被时代抛弃，顾客变得更注重新奇得设计而那些具有耐久性得东西则被人们抛弃。我翻译的大体意思。我觉得这个开头虽然没有任何模板味道，但是又有点晕晕的感觉，不知道你要表达的东西。我觉得考美还是喜欢看开门见山的东西吧，而且那我来说，我觉得开头费这麽多笔墨，估计要浪费不少时间。平时写的话倒可以多想想。不过还是佩服springy的水平。
Hundreds years later, with the first installation of integrated circuit on the chip, another profound turnover (好词！)took place. Now the computer pervades our life so much（so much what? 少了副词吧?） that one may find himself half illiterate in absence of input skill.（不知道什麽叫input skill是输入的技巧吗？如果是的话，我觉得这个并不是造成半文盲的主要原因啊） This time, thousands of jobs were created in Silicon Valley, transforming some of the few into billionaire over one night. Nevertheless, the original inventor might not expect that the ensuing slow down and thus recession in IT sector would approach so soon in less than 10 years, which is obviously less than a presumable 15 years time normal for a periodical change.
前两段都在描述科技代给人类社会的两次巨大变化。
Positive or negative, one mark that characterizes the technological bombardment indicates a constant fact: changes exist ubiquitously and operating at an ever-increasing tempo; those who fail to catch up with the torrent of change would ineluctably engulfed by billows, floating no where and eventually dissolve as negligible bubbles.最后一句写得好啊！！ 现在才开始进入论证阶段吧。。。。
Favors as well as opportunities goes单复数 to who adapt to the contemporary trend. Fully recognizing this axiom, long before the scientists announced accomplishment of sketches of human genes or earlier successful cloning of Doris, candidates preparing for university admission have smelt the sense. Today, in the U.S., biology and its branch disciplines become the first choice for top students of senior high, determining that this subject, foretold as the third wave in technology, could bring them brilliant future as “Bill Gates” dreamt the same in the previous wave.这段说适应时代潮流的人才能获得机会和favor(是好感的意思吗？)，后面说的考大学的学生在进入大学前就嗅导了时代的潮流，还有当今生物学将是下一个潮流，但你也是假设，学生物学的学生将成为未来的bill，并不是真的success啊。这样的论证无法支撑你的主题。
In addition to academic realm, respect would be paid to people who though deprived of their past secure professions, choose not to be a loser in the whimsical （这个好像是指情绪上的多变吧？）society. Like the artisans who lost jobs, a vast number of skilled laborer in China’s city of Wengzhou have undergone darkness and depression in those old days. However, after years of endeavor and refinement, they prove their value again. By accurately posit the economic trend and market demand, they play an active role in almost all economic sectors, garments, catering and lodging, hi-tech industry, you name it.这段的例子我觉得还是又点牵强，题目论证的是对new environment的适应能力。文中没有点明这一点。
While ability honed in surviving the fickleness of the world makes the path through success shorter, it is essential for the more ambitious （少个名词吧？）to acquire the pith of reformist and lead the trend. In this way, it could help him distinguish from the mediocracy and platitude. This is absolutely not an easy task. Inborn insight and foresight are needed to tell uncommon out of the commonplace; extraordinary perseverance and encouragement is a must to face the coming challenges against his iconoclasm. Very few people crowned with triumph possess this quality, whether the Nobel Prize winner or those who makes coverage on the Times.在多变的环境中磨练自己的能力可以使成功的时间缩短。
In sum, as shown in the course of history, success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to surviving in a new environment and---, eventually, ---to change it. Now some elite persons have again forecast that another social change is impending. Are you ready for that?呵呵，可爱的结尾 佩服springy的用词水平，能把你平时都看什麽英文网站，资料介绍一下吗 ？我边看你作文边搜集词汇，呵呵，大有收获。
但是我觉得你的文章，虽然粉碎模板是个好事情，但是你前边大断对历史背景的描述占了太多篇幅，毕竟会影响你后边论证的深度。
所以你后边3段论证都是草草开头，举个例子就完没有展开。
我现在觉得GRE就是考在短时间内考研你的思考和行文的能力，
所以我支持模板（我是菜鸟呵呵），
唉。。。最近我的限时计划一直没有完成，郁闷啊
BTW: people who though deprived of their past secure professions, choose not to 。。。这句话though deprived 是though＋形容词吗，托福语法快忘光了？
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