[分享]A Fine Weapon to Kill Time
A Fine Weapon to Kill Time"Do you sing and play much?" a young man asked the pretty girl who was carelessly thrumming the keys of the piano.
"Only to kill time," she replied.
"You've got a fine weapon, I must admit," ventured the young man.
Notes
to thrum the keys of the piano:随便弹几下钢琴
only to kill time:仅仅为了消磨时间。to kill当然也作“杀死”解。
to venture:冒昧的说
[分享]I Sing in My Bath Only
I Sing in My Bath OnlyHost:"Mr.Jenkins, I'm sure, will now help us out with a little song."
Jenkins:"I'm sorry but I never vocalize except in my bath."
Host:"Oh, that's all right, I'll warn them you're out of practice."
Notes
but I never vocalize except in my bath:我只是在洗澡时才唱
to vocalize:练声；唱，哼，喊
to be out of practice:久不练习
[分享]She's My Wife
She's My WifeOne of the guests turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them.
"What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is"
"Yes," was the answer."She's my wife."
"Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song?"
"I did," was the answer.
Notes
to entertain:使愉悦
It's the stuff she has to sing:糟糕的是她所唱的歌曲
No One Will Ever Know the Difference[分享]
No One Will Ever Know the Difference"Sir," the great violinist said to the host, Mr.Newrich, "the instrument I shall use at your gathering is over two hundred years old."
"Oh, that's all right! I wouldn't worry," returned the host,"no one'll ever know the difference."
Notes
violinist:小提琴手
instrument:乐器
gathering:聚会
[分享]She Has a Much Richer Father
She Has a Much Richer Father"I can't think why they make so much fuss about Miss Smith's voice. Miss Jones has a much richer voice."
"Yes, but Miss Smith has a much richer father."
Notes
to make so much fuss about:对...如此小题大做
Miss Jones has a much richer voice:琼斯小姐的声音相当圆润
[分享]“No, Thank you.”
“No, Thank you.”“If you are tired of dancing, let us sit down and have a little tete-a-tete.”
“No, thank you. After such a big supper I really couldn’t eat a thing.”
Notes
tete-a-tete:促膝谈心；对谈。为外来语，听话人误以为是一种点心或饮料的名称。
[分享]A Note
A Note"I hear you and your neighbour are on the outs. What happened?"
"Well, my kids are taking music lessons, and the other day he sent over an ax with a note saying,'Try this on your piano!'"
Notes
to be on the outs:争执
[分享]A Popular Song
A Popular Song"So that is a popular song he's singing?"
"It was before he sang it."
[分享]How Did You Like My New Operetta
How Did You Like My New OperettaComposer:"Well, how did you like my new operetta?"
Critic:"Very much. One of the finest things Strauss over composed."
Notes
operetta:轻松活泼的小歌剧
composer:作曲家
Strauss:施特劳斯（1804-1849），奥地利作曲家
composed：adj.镇静的, 沉着的
[分享]My Mom Can Do That!
My Mom Can Do That!Teather was giving her class a little weekly talk on painting, illustrated by reproductions of famous pictures."Sir Joshua Reynolds," she said,"was able to change a smiling face into a frowning one with a single stroke of the brush."
"Huh," little Johnnie was heard to mutter,"my mom can do that!"
Notes
reproduction:复制品
Sir Joshua Reynolds：乔舒亚.瑞诺兹（1723-1792），英国肖像画家，曾任英国皇家艺术协会第一任主席，以色彩丰富而著称于世。
to change a smiling face into a frowning one：将一张笑脸变成苦脸
with a single stroke of the brush：用画笔一画；用刷子打一下 that's funny! -- _--111
[分享]Anything Will Do
Anything Will DoMusician(after much pressing):"Well, all right, since you insist. What shall I play?"
Host:"Anything you like. It is only to annoy the neighbours."
Notes
Anything will do:什么都行
after much pressing:经一再催促
Qualified[分享]
QualifiedManager:"Are you sure you are qualified to lead a swing orchestra?"
Applicant:"Absolutely. I've had two nervous breakdowns, I was shellshocked in France, and I live in an apartment above a family with twelve noisy children."
Notes
a swing orchestra: 摇摆乐队（我也不太懂）
nervous breakdown:精神崩溃
shellshocked：患炮弹休克（当过兵）
[分享]My Daughter's Music Lessons
My Daughter's Music Lessons"My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me."
"How is that?"
"They enabled me to buy the neighbours' houses at half price."
Notes
fortune:好运
at half price:半价
Your Neighbours Sent for Me[分享]
Your Neighbours Sent for Me"Madame, I'm the piano-tuner."
"I didn't send for a piano-tuner."
"I knowit, lady; the neighbours did."
Notes
send for:请人来
piano-tuner:钢琴调音师
Revenge[分享]
RevengeThey were having a musical evening, and the hostess asked the celebrated basso to sing another song.
"I'm afraid it's too late," he replied."I should disturb the people in the neighbouring house."
"And a good thing, too." replied the lady."Thet poisoned our dog last week."
Notes
revenge:报仇
celebrated basso:著名的男低音
to disturb:打扰
to poison：毒死（残忍，怨怨相报何时了）
Re: Qualified[分享]
[QUOTE][i]最初由 cryecnu 发布[/i][B]Qualified
Manager:"Are you sure you are qualified to lead a swing orchestra?"
Applicant:"Absolutely. I've had two nervous breakdowns, I was shellshocked i..
以下省略...... [/B][/QUOTE]
swing n. （音乐等）强劲节奏
Re: Re: Qualified[分享]
[QUOTE][i]最初由 wyhbob 发布[/i][B][QUOTE][i]最初由 cryecnu 发布[/i]
[B]Qualified
Manager:"Are you sure you are qualified to lead a swing orchestra?"
Applicant:"Absolutely. I've had two ne..
以下省略...... [/B][/QUOTE]
Thanks a lot.
[分享]That's Terrible
That's Terrible"It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.'
"Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it."
[分享]My Daughter's Voice Is Improving
My Daughter's Voice Is Improving"My daughter is having her voice cultivated."
"Is it improving?"
"It's growing stronger. She used to be heard only two apartments away. Now we get complaints from away off in the next building."
Notes
having her voice cultivated:让嗓子得到训练
She used to be heard only two apartments away：过去是在两个房间以外能听到
Now we get complaints from away off in the next building：现在隔壁的一幢楼也叫苦连天了