最近看到一些GTERS在讨论这个PS的问题，我自己也正要动手写，偶然看到这个就转发上来，大家写的时候避免犯这样的错误。
http://www.flytowest.com/ps/badps.htm
www.flytowest.com作为一家留学文书写作与润色的专业机构,提供免费的ps和推荐信润色服务。我们选取往年一些同学的ps，将具有代表性的问题整理，帮助大家更好地写作这份至关重要的留学文件。去年，我们整理发布了《对40份ps润色后的总结》获得好评。这次主要向大家介绍一下，在写作ps开头时应该注意的问题。我们郑重承诺：以下选取的所有ps都是去年的，所有开头都经过了技术处理，删除了任何可能涉及隐私的东西。如果我们你对此有任何异议，欢迎提出，我们在研究后将予以删减。几种不好的ps开头。
救世主型I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solve various problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, … He must ever be receptive and sensitive to the new; and have sufficient courage and skill to novel facts and to deal with them." And I have been longing to be the man to face and solve novel problems. 点评：一副救世主的形象，小时候就受富兰克林的影响，立志改变世界。Ps一定要personal，别吹大牛，甚至带着一种霸权思维。
犹抱琵琶型，拖泥带水。Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. After carefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career. 重点放在自己要做重大决定上了，人生的转折点，然后来上句所谓名言警句。酝酿太久了。
重复简历型I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in …. in 2002 at … university, which provided me with a profound background in atmospheric science. During this period, I received Outstanding Student Scholarship for my excellent performance in the academic field. I found that …. is abstruse and interested, and there are so many things I did not understand. Thus I decided to learn more. Ps不要去repeat简历中的东西。这在很多学校的ps要求中明确提到，比如讲述你自己的故事（比如，亚利桑那大学
www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/arizona.htm）
语言幼稚型'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't?' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky?' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。。。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle. So most of the things in my family has been taken apart by me, from my father's shaver to my mom' motorcycle. I can even fix some simple households, listened to other people's praise, to learn science well became my dream and felt the science will accompany with me in my whole life. 上来就回忆童年少年自己如何有着远大抱负，who cares. Ps字数有限，却用这么多话描述童年，没有任何意义。
抄袭句式型 As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new. Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的，很多同学在用。
学校简介型 I am an undergraduate in 。。 University , the largest university and a cradle of scientific and technological talents in China. (。。。 University is a prestigious university of general education with 20 departments and a regular annual enrollment of 8,000 students ) I studied at 。。。(E. E) Department, a highly selective department with a gathering of smart students who are hard to compete with. 该同学的开头等于是一个学校的简介，这好像是在帮助学校做宣传，而不是写个人陈述了。觉得不过瘾，居然还用了括号。
