寄托家园


 
标题: [主题活动] 生如夏花小组--第1次作业(restaurant)之小马过河
ernest81888
新手上路
Rank: 1



UID 2247639
精华 0
积分 7
帖子 1580
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-8-31
来自 SH
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-1 21:01  资料 短消息  Yahoo!
生如夏花小组--第1次作业(restaurant)之小马过河

独立写作部分|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE._N0EC]
Topic: It has recently been announced that a new restaurant maybe built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan. Why?
$\3x.Q3T/_vbbs.gter.net寄托家园V cP8h)E
To evaluate the feasibility of building a new restaurant in our neighborhood requires us to have a full view on both advantages and disadvantages. For my part, a restaurant apparently brings us many conveniences because it could not only help people in saving time in cooking, but also provide us with delicious foods. On the other hands, it might supply works to those who are out of jobs or it might help students who are searching for a part time job and needs to gain some experiences from it. So I will support this exciting news as I will analyze it as below.
&FJ(j#]2[+y
Ka
留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA5^ i#F0eoT(eb.FF)b
Primarily, cooking at home is known for its time-consuming. It is especially true when it comes to our neighborhood. For people in our neighborhood, they are mostly working in some big companies so that the most time they spent in is to make a living for their family. Time seams too limited for them. What’s more, some families have children in kindergarten. It seems that before cooking the meal they had to pick up their children firstly. What's worse, even if they want to do cooking themselves, their children might already feel hungry for the late dinner. For the reason, a new restaurant which could supply a fast food for people might appease this kind of problem.-F*z,HPU }

NE,UF"NF)n~:l.rMore, with the increasing of unemployment rate, some people in our neighborhood have lost their jobs. A new restaurant could fit on the point to solve those people’s working problems. Besides, the students in our neighborhood might take advantages of obtaining a part-time job, which could both improve their personal working experience and gain some pocket money as well. Accordingly, there is no reason to object this project. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA;s
|)Zu8Z0OU]]

*p
D        H\tD_A

Finally, people all prefer delicious foods and making new friends. A restaurant which will sale both Chinese tradition and Western foods seam attractive to us. Meanwhile, it appears that eating at a restaurant could possible to have some new friends. For these two points, building a new restaurant is not a bad choice.
pgO'B
?-y留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA

;i
y:\1h
[d)X S)o寄托家园
In sum, as a member of AAA neighborhood, I would support the new restaurant project. However, some elements should also take into consideration. For example, the sanitation of the restaurant, the price of foods it provides, or if their food taste caste to popular. Although it might be too haste to have a final conclusion for the project, the advantages can not be denied. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAc0|@YS-]7n
-----------------------------------------------------------------|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE$LH        S-YA

So-pG IPxID!||留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE口语部分寄托家园]#S'g$f$j1rn
Describe the most important decision that you made in your life留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA/_}R,~ @"Y2rv

lQC,Dv$r}I think the most improtant one in my life is entering the company which now I am working in as being a testing engineer in semiconductor.It is because my company gives me a lot of chances to touch the highly advanced knowleges and also trains me to be a qualified engineer. Secondly, working in the company helps me a lot in english approving since we should work with many U.S guys. Lastly, I think, with the help of my chief, I have learned a great amount of ability to equiped myself in being a testing engineer.That's the reason why I thinks it is the most imprtant decision in my life.,oUwZE
留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USANkk;b!x!q-~1a
[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-7-2 18:48 编辑 ]




知止而后有定,定而后能静,静而后能安,安而后能虑,虑而后能得,物有本末,事有终始,知所先后,则近道矣
顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
小马家家
超级会员
Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7
CRACK9T之小宝


UID 2247022
精华 1
积分 7374
帖子 3867
阅读权限 40
注册 2006-8-29
来自 地球的另一端
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-1 21:05  资料 短消息  QQ
------------------------|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREo!vyl4^]3?~9J

!?;O*[)C!m%u R9l寄托家园小马几号的IBT?




追求
      我不放弃

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
真正的光明决不是永没有黑暗的时间,只是永不被黑暗所掩蔽罢了。真正的英雄决不是永没有卑下的情操,只是永不被卑下的情操所屈服罢了。
顶部
[广告] 论坛之星就是你,每天发帖前3名将拥有闪亮奖章
ernest81888
新手上路
Rank: 1



UID 2247639
精华 0
积分 7
帖子 1580
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-8-31
来自 SH
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-1 21:07  资料 短消息  Yahoo!
8月头。具体的忘了,汗。。。。
c+Qx&s8]6ibF

bbs.gter.net7@z*cp^
[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-7-2 20:39 编辑 ]




知止而后有定,定而后能静,静而后能安,安而后能虑,虑而后能得,物有本末,事有终始,知所先后,则近道矣
顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
森林116 (森林)
高级会员
Rank: 5Rank: 5
圣域守望者


UID 2272614
精华 0
积分 2393
帖子 602
阅读权限 30
注册 2006-11-12
来自 米洛斯岛
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-1 21:33  资料 短消息  QQ Yahoo!
两只小马?




顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
f_ding (Hunter)
特级会员
Rank: 6Rank: 6
CRACK9T之毛利


UID 2283047
精华 1
积分 3499
帖子 3165
阅读权限 35
注册 2006-12-13
来自 Shandong
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-2 08:59  资料 短消息 
回复 #3 ernest81888 的帖子

强啊
I!T'@3Z_留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA我也是9月头的,寄托家园$K1HC/e6s*Hi-x)ld
还没开始呢|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREeo;mbr
羡慕

V]
wB|@2w(Y寄托家园
加油~




OK
顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
hooligan2003
寄托新兵
Rank: 2



UID 2243580
精华 0
积分 201
帖子 150
阅读权限 15
注册 2006-8-18
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-2 10:32  资料 短消息 
9月头的现在复习也蛮紧的,还要考G,快疯了




08fall美国会计硕士申请群41892243
顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
lisha726
中级会员
Rank: 4


UID 2282972
精华 0
积分 1443
帖子 454
阅读权限 25
注册 2006-12-13
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-2 21:16  资料 短消息 
独立写作部分
5}w$b;Q(nHN寄托家园Topic: It has recently been announced that a new restaurant maybe built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan. Why?
'y*?
?`s|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE
!f4K        T(|5R]e.}l
To evaluate the feasibility of building a new restaurant in our neighborhood requires us to have a full view on both advantages and disadvantages. For my part, a restaurant apparently brings us many conveniences because it could not only help people in saving time in cooking, but also provide us with delicious foods. On the other hand, it might supply works to those who are out of jobs or students who need to gain some experience from a part-time job in our neighborhood. So I will support this exciting news as I will analyze it as below.
ElC1` ` n
a|8MHM寄托家园
寄托家园eey4x]7h"K$W7n
Primarily, cooking at home is known for its time-consuming. It is especially true when it comes to our neighborhood. For people in our neighborhood, they are mostly working in some big companies so that the most time they spent on is to make a living for their family. Time seams too limited for them. What’s more, some families have children in kindergarten. It seems that before cooking the meal they had to pick up their children firstly. What's worse, even if they want to do cooking themselves, their children might already feel hungry for the late dinner. For the reason, a new restaurant which could supply a fast food for people might appease this kind of problem. [detail不错,很详细;主要围绕时间方面的问题展开]

] @K.E1i8L8Nbbs.gter.net
寄托家园
T'ce2e+w'd\A0\7v

Moreover, with the increasing of unemployment rate, some people have lost their jobs. A new restaurant could fit on the point to solve those people’s working problems. Besides, the students in our neighborhood might take advantages of obtaining a part-time job, which could both improve their personal working experience and gain some pocket money as well. Accordingly, there is no reason to oppose this project. [继续优点:可提供工作机会]
}$O;p(ly_+@+O_6p a:z留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA *e
[K-_UNEzF?

Finally, people all prefer delicious foods and making new friends. A restaurant which will sale both Chinese tradition and Western foods seam attractive to us. Meanwhile, it appears that eating at a restaurant could possible to have some new friends. For these two points, building a new restaurant is not a bad choice. |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE M*^a3m
fM

!W"W5g'o%R:e.V7kV
In sum, as a member of AAA neighborhood, I would support the new restaurant project. However, some elements should also take into consideration. For example, the sanitation of the restaurant, the price of foods it provides, or if their food taste caste to popular. Although it might be too haste to have a final conclusion for the project, the advantages can not be denied. M1OV
un4x~ s t1v

|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREy5y
c4Gs        [c4_6q

文章结构严谨,按总--总的顺序,让我受益的是,优点的展开很细,提供了很好的detail,学习学习!留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA4NZ/~a:n
但是有个疑问,文章一开头就说要优点、缺点都考虑,但是全文的基调确是支持,即大部分考虑的优点,只是在结尾处略提了点问题吧;这样的话,这个开头一句到底有什么作用啊?麻烦解释一下。
        \9A:xl(?mc
tmbbs.gter.net
还有,on one hand/on the other hand,是不是必须要联在一起用啊?[第一段]
\2^^"y E0E!H\结构上,按你的文章,应该是第一段把大致要说的主要论点都提吧,但是第三个论点的make friends却在第一段没提,这样做是不是也可以啊?|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE xV9d+pqQD|5C
-----------------------------------------------------------------口语部分
QI!Byx6fN        s
c
Describe the most important decision that you made in your life
j)Q&H&eC
~0E        eJ"d
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE&R'l7|`x{2H;R
I think the most imp
ortant one in my life is entering the company which now I am working in as being a testing engineer in semiconductor.
J
d/I;V Z*?bbs.gter.net
It is because my company gives me a lot of chances to touch the highly advanced knowledge, and also trains me to be a qualified engineer. |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE5CrF"q%K,S6i        }n
Secondly, working in the company helps me a lot in English approving since we should work with many U.S guys.
/iO        G
r4Up%Y寄托家园
Lastly, I think I have learned a great amount of ability to equip myself in being an excellent testing engineer with the help of my boss. K
~ {7H:B;r

That's the reason why I thinks it is the most important decision in my life."P:{-t0k],v8Q
留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA^.p'Jb:XExhr
明显看出是first draft, 里面有一些很明显的拼写错误;个人觉得3条理由陈述的不错;字数也把握很好!Tgl&?|P@/L

G!C6p#~ \~*D%R
7cc.t _2S2_4Z-}$_留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA[ 本帖最后由 lisha726 于 2007-7-2 21:25 编辑 ]
顶部
[广告] 论坛之星就是你,每天发帖前3名将拥有闪亮奖章
ernest81888
新手上路
Rank: 1



UID 2247639
精华 0
积分 7
帖子 1580
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-8-31
来自 SH
状态 离线
发表于 2007-7-3 00:03  资料 短消息  Yahoo!
恩,说的对,我make friends的确有点问题,开头需要改善,谢谢




知止而后有定,定而后能静,静而后能安,安而后能虑,虑而后能得,物有本末,事有终始,知所先后,则近道矣
顶部
[广告] 新年快乐!一起记录“我的2008和2009”
 




当前时区 GMT+8, 现在时间是 2009-1-10 10:11

Powered by www.gter.net © 2000-2007
清除 Cookies - - 寄托天下 - Archiver - WAP