Topic: Some people believe that visitors to other
countries should follow local customs and
hehaviour. Others disagree and think that the
host country should welcome cultural differences.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
                                                                                                                                
It is an obvious fact that there may be some contradictions in culture and custom arising from
visitors and hosts. Someone believes that visitors should follow local behaviour, while others
think that the host countries should welcome cultural differences. It seems, apparently, to be
opposite between both two sides mentioned above. However, to my mind, these two aspects
can be integrated harmoniously.

To start with, as visitors to other countries, their main aims for travelling are just to gain much
different cultural experience, and to appreciate foreign charming landscape. Therefore, by
following local custom and hehaviour, and joining in their daily life, isn't it the best way to
know more about such a country and their race? In addition, during the harmonious communi-
cations, tourists also display their own nation to the hosts to make more close relationship
between both sides of people. Hence, following and even incorporating local traditions is an
excellcent method to enjoy your journey.

Furthermore, it must be clearly understood that tour and tourists from other places can not
only bring them more income, but also open a window to get knowledge about the world.
For instance, Xi'an is an ancient city in China, having a long and glorious history, and reser-
ving many relics. So, attracting more foreign visitors can make local residents learn a lot, while
stimulating local wealth to increase. Consequently, as long as these host countries show their
passion and friendship, there wil be more friends coming here, and more deep emotion to
our hometown.

Addimittedly, it seems to me that some controversy is certainly existing between local
residents and visitors, deriving from their distinct custom and behaviour. To resolve such
problems or to decrease much dissatisfaction, all must hold a friendly attitude and compre-
hensive mood.

To conclude, as long as we have some positive attitudes, there must be more benifits to
all the people no matter where they come from, and there must be more harmonization no
matter what their conventions belong to.
                                                                                                                        
Time:39   Words:292

发作文请在这里留下链接，有加分
http://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=724783&highlight=
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同时欢迎你也给别人改作文（有加分啊），从而学习别人的长处，更快的提高自己咯

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-9-1 19:14 编辑 ]

坚持下来必有提高~~

注意楼上的链接~~

It is an obvious fact that there may be some contradictions in culture and custom arising from
visitors and hosts. Someone believes that visitors should follow local behaviour, while others
think that the host countries should welcome cultural differences. It seems, apparently, to be
opposite between both two sides mentioned above.【这句有点多余了，首段最好不要说太多没有用的话，不如直接表明观点好一些。】 wever, to my mind, these two aspects can be integrated harmoniously.

To start with, as visitors travel to other countries, their main aims for travelling are just to gain much
different cultural experience, and to appreciate foreign charming landscape. Therefore, by
following local custom and behaviour, and joining in their daily life, isn't it the best way to
know more about such a country and their race? 【遵照很多朋友的建议，尽量少用反问句】In addition, during the process of harmonious communi-
cations, tourists also display their own nation to the hosts to make more close【much closer】 relationship
between both sides of people. Hence, following and even incorporating local traditions is an
excellcent method to enjoy your journey.【这一段感觉写的有些散，TS句不清楚，翻过来翻过去就是说要following和incorporating，但是并没有充足的理由支持你，所以显得不够完整和有说服力。】

Furthermore, it must be clearly understood that tour and tourists from other places can not
only bring them【local people】 more income, but also open a window to get knowledge about the world  for them.
For instance, Xi'an is an ancient city in China, having a long and glorious history, and reser-
ving many relics. So, attracting more foreign visitors can make local residents learn a lot【a lot 什么？】, while【at the same time】
stimulating local wealth to increase.【句子结构有问题，stimulation local economy就行了，后边的to increase去掉。】 Consequently, as long as these host countries show their
passion and friendship, there wil be more friends coming here, and more deep emotion to
our hometown.

Addimittedly, it seems to me that some controversy is certainly existing between local
residents and visitors, deriving from their distinct custom and behaviour. 【这里可以举个controversy的例子】To resolve such
problems or to decrease much dissatisfaction, all must hold a friendly attitude and compre-
hensive mood.

To conclude, as long as we have some【可以去掉】 positive attitudes, there must be more benifits to
all the people no matter where they come from, and there must be more harmonization no
matter what their conventions belong to.

总的来说，感觉你这篇作文的问题还比较多，除了思路之外，一个是句子的问题，一个词语的问题，好多句式明显的有中式英语的味道，词语也缺乏变化，另外，语法也有必要再注意一下。
我给你的建议是，多看看习作，然后先模仿着写几篇，然后慢慢形成自己的写作模式。
嗯，每天一篇，劲头不错，希望你坚持下去！
                                                         

It is an obvious fact that there may be some contradictions in culture and custom arising from visitors and hosts. Someone believes that visitors should follow local behaviour, while others think that the host countries should welcome cultural differences./On,no!最大的忌讳之一，不要照抄题目 It seems, apparently, to be opposite between both two sides mentioned above. However, to my mind, these two aspects can be integrated harmoniously.

To start with, as visitors没有动词的句子+ travel to other countries, their main aims for travelling are just to gain much different cultural experiences, and to appreciate foreign charming landscape. Therefore, by following local custom and hehaviour, and joining in their daily life, isn't it the best way to know more about such a country and their race? In addition, during the harmonious communi-cations, tourists also display their own nation to the hosts to make more close/closer relationship between both sides of people. Hence, following and even incorporating local traditions is /are an 删除excellcent methods to enjoy your journey.这一段文字，貌似一直在自说自话的，没有力量，可以考虑加上一个例子以加强论述　

Furthermore, it must be clearly understood that tour and tourists from other places can not only bring them/指代不明 more income, but also open a window to get knowledge about the world.For instance, Xi'an is an ancient city in China, having a long and glorious history, and reser-ving many relics. So, attracting more foreign visitors can make local residents learn a lot, while你是想表示同时吗？那改成meanwhile stimulating local wealth to increase删了吧. Consequently, as long as these host countries show their passion and friendship, there wil be more friends coming可以省略了 here, and more deep emotion to our hometown.

Addimittedly, it seems to me that some controversy is certainly existing between local residents and visitors, deriving from their distinct custom and behaviour. To resolve such problems or to decrease much dissatisfaction, all must hold a friendly attitude and compre-
hensive mood.像body的第一部分，这个段落也很淡薄，也可以加上一个例子

To conclude, as long as we have some positive attitudes, there must be more benifits to all the people[，] no matter where they come from, and there must be more harmonization no matter what their conventions belong to.

建议：
1、三个论据的篇幅最好能做到大致一样，平衡一些　　
2、论证的过程需要例子地参与和支持
3、巨资尚有一些中式的味道
4、坚持下去，会有进步的~~~~：）

It is an obvious fact that

第一句就看到忌讳词语。不能写这种的。这种说法太不客观。

英语中 被动用法 就是来表示客观

用I we 主动人称 才是主观的说

obvious fact 的用法合适吗？我觉得这样写不是很妥当的说。

obvious 的感觉太强了吧

在陈述个人立场的时候，无论用什么词表达作者的立意都不为过，个人认为。