求NN指教，互改请留链
11. “When someone achieves greatness in any field — such as the arts, science, politics, or business — that person’s achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults.”

Sometimes we judge a person by his achievements, regardless of his personal faults. Sometimes, we evaluate a person according to his personal faults, neglecting what he has devoted in some particular fields. In my opinion, there are no perfect people in this world. Both successes and faults are involved in personal lives. There are no strict standards to judge a person. After comparing achievements with personal faults, we form judgments of an individual. Therefore, it is difficult to say whether person's achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults or not. The judgments should be weighed on a case-by-case basis.

Some people make great contributions to the society, and thus are respected by people, even though they also make some personal mistakes in lives. History is replete with examples. Let's take Edison for example. Edison, the king of patents, was one of the greatest scientists in the twentieth century. During his life time, Edison made countless creations, such as the
light bulb. He was diligent and humble in most of his life. No doubly, he was honored the best inventor and was respected by his peers. However, in his late years, he became so conceited that he underestimated other scientists and mocked at his assistants. As a result, his assistants left him, and he didn’t invent anything useful to the society. Nowadays, when we are in retrospect of the history, we still regard Edison as the great scientist, while at the same time acknowledging his personal faults. Taking all factors into account, Edison's achievements are more important than his personal faults.

In contrast, some people in the field of politics are not as lucky as Edison. The convincing example is Nixon. Before the Water Gate scandal, Nixon was a kind and outstanding president in the history of America. Unfortunately, he broke the basic principle of politics---honesty and integrity. After the Water Gate scandal, Nixon became the notorious president in the America. It is sure that his personal faults overweight his past achievements. Likewise, in business, some personal faults are fetal to a leader. A case in point is the bankruptcy of Enron. This electricity corporation was always viewed profitable and promising, with the stock price of $90 per share. Nonetheless, owning to Enron's irregular accounting procedures, Enron was accused of fraud. Shortly after this financial scandal was exposed, Enron's stock price dropped to pennies. This case became the negative example in business. Seen from the two cases mentioned above, it is not difficult to find that if the faults break the basic rule, any past achievements become helpless in judgments.

In conclusion, we have to admit that everyone has the chance to make mistakes, and achievements. But whether the evaluation of person depends more on his achievements or on his faults should be analyzed case by case. It is not fair to say that as long as a person makes great achievements, he will be un-doubly regarded as the great people, ignoring his personal faults.         

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我觉得有点罗嗦
外国人的思维方式是直切要害，很多句子不用迂回反复的说

谢谢指点，欢迎更多人指点

做了点修改，NN帮指点
11. “When someone achieves greatness in any field — such as the arts, science, politics, or business — that person’s achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults.”

Sometimes we judge a person by his achievements, regardless of his personal faults. Sometimes, we evaluate a person mainly according to his personal faults. In my opinion, there are no perfect people in this world. Both successes and faults are involved in personal lives. It is difficult to say whether person's achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults or not. Therefore, the judgments should be weighed on a case-by-case basis.

Some people make great contributions (bred/spawn grand achievements) to the society, and thus are respected by people, even though they also make some personal mistakes in lives. History is replete with examples: Edison, the king of patents, was one of the greatest scientists in the twentieth century. During his life time, Edison made countless inventions, such as the light bulb. He was diligent and humble in most of his life. Not only was Edison honored the best inventor at his time but he was respected by his peers and colleagues. However, in his late years, he became so conceited that he underestimated other scientists and mocked at his assistants. As a result, his assistants left him, and he didn’t invent anything useful to the society. In retrospect, we will certainly regard Edison as the great scientist, while at the same time acknowledging his personal faults. Taking all factors into account, Edison's achievements are more important than his personal faults.

In contrast, some people in the field of politics are not as lucky as Edison. The convincing example is Nixon. Before the Water Gate scandal, Nixon was a kind and outstanding president in the history of America. Unfortunately, he broke the basic principle of politics---honesty and integrity. After the Water Gate scandal, Nixon became the notorious name in the America. It is sure that his personal faults overweigh his past achievements. Likewise, in business, some personal faults are fetal to a leader. A case in point is the bankruptcy of Enron. This electricity corporation was always viewed profitable and promising, with the stock price of $90 per share. Nonetheless, owning to Enron's irregular accounting procedures, Enron was accused of fraud. Shortly after this financial scandal was exposed, Enron's stock price dropped to pennies. This case became the negative example in business. Seen from the two cases mentioned above, it is not difficult to find that if the faults break the basic rule, any past achievements become helpless in judgments.

In conclusion, we have to admit that everyone has the chance to make mistakes, and achievements. But whether the evaluation of person depends more on his achievements or on his faults should be analyzed case by case. It is not fair to say that as long as a person makes great achievements, he will be un-doubly regarded as the great people, ignoring his personal faults.

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实在没时间细改~关于Enron的案例,个人意见是否需要有所更改呢,作文的题目重点在person,而Enron的案例在这里集中是表现一个公司的情况,但是如果改成Enron中的某某人,本来把Enron做得很好,在其他方面亦非常突然,人生事业已经登上顶峰,但是因为某某事情导致Enron最后的结局从而掩盖了他原本付出的一切努力可能更为恰当

另外,LZ是从中立观点来写这个题目的,写得挺好的,但是在写两方面的时候没有给出具体原因,为什么Edison能成绩掩盖失误,但是Nixon不能?先给出一个原因,什么样的人能成绩盖掉失误,然后举Edison的例子,然后再又什么样的人成绩无法掩盖他的失误带来的后果,再举Nixon的例子,这样就显得文章观点更鲜明呢.仅仅是列举两个相反的例子似乎说服力稍有薄弱

乌阿，版主就是不一样，我也觉得文章写得挺白的，力量薄弱。谢谢指教~完全接受版主的意见