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万谢

Some people think imported food exerts positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree?


It is common these days for us to enjoy food that are not grown up in local areas. Whether imported food has beneficial influence upon our lives is an increasing public concern. Many think we may profit from the imported food, while on the other hand some others are of opposite opinion. In this essay, I would explore positive and negative impact on our lives brought from imported food.

     Many who believe that the imported food may engender impact on our lives positively would bolster up their claim with several arguments. First of all, people can enjoy various categories of food, which has rendered their lives more colorful in terms of diets, compared with those times when they can only taste local food. Besides, when enjoying imported food, people may see different cultures accordingly because food is often inundated with culture. To illustrate, provided that one enjoys Chinese traditional food like dumpling, he or she may experience Chinese food culture. Most importantly, by importing food from different countries, people could get better known each other, thereby promoting mutual understanding between different countries.

    By contrast, some others may maintain that imported food may create problems. The main reason for this is, apparently, a little expensive. Not all the people can afford these food especially for those imported transported by air. But overall, people would still like to choose, honor and cherish imported food, when people are fond of pursuing different food with their locals’.

    Overall, my conclusion is that imported food is playing pivotal role in people’s daily lives because increasing people would like to choose and enjoy it, which accords with our experience and I tend to believe people are enjoying better lives in terms of imported food.

up!

It is common these days for us to enjoy food that are not grown up in local areas. (It is common,these days,for us to enjoy food that is not grown up in local areas. 感觉these days作为插入语最好是有标点符号的。food 在这篇文章里应该是单数的，而且好像不仅仅指的是原料食品。)Whether imported food has beneficial influence upon our lives is an increasing public concern.(Whether imported food has beneficial influence upon our lives or not becomes an increasing public concern.whether or not 连用会比较好吧！) Many think we may profit from the imported food, while on the other hand some others are of opposite opinion.(while和on the other hand有些重复.) In this essay, I would explore positive and negative impact on our lives brought from imported food.

     Many who believe that the imported food may engender impact on our lives positively would bolster up their claim with several arguments.(这句写的挺好！) First of all, people can enjoy various categories of food, which has rendered their lives more colorful in terms of diets, compared with those times when they can only taste local food. Besides, when enjoying imported food, people may see different cultures accordingly because food is often inundated with culture. To illustrate, provided that one enjoys Chinese traditional food like dumpling, he or she may experience Chinese food culture. Most importantly, by importing food from different countries, people could get better known each other, thereby promoting mutual understanding between different countries.（既然用了first of all 了就再用moreover,last but not least之类的词吧！这样看上去更条理。）

    By contrast, some others may maintain（hold应该好些吧？！） that imported food may create problems. The main reason for this is, apparently, （it is）a little(more) expensive. Not all the people can afford these food especially for those imported(imported可以去掉) transported by air. But overall, people would still like to choose, honor and cherish imported food, when people are fond of pursuing different food with their locals’.

    Overall（可以用all in all因为你前面用过overall了）, my conclusion is that imported food is playing pivotal role in people’s daily lives because increasing (number of )people would like to choose and enjoy it, which accords with our experience and I tend to believe people are enjoying better lives in terms of imported food.

1. 文章的结构和思路很清晰，词汇量也挺丰富的，句式用得也不错。
2. 需要注意的是不要滥用句式，如果对某类句式不熟悉可以用简单句。还有就是词汇尽量不要重复使用，可以找同义的来替换~~
总的来说，这些问题只要LZ注意一些应该可以进步很快，毕竟LZ的基础应该还算不错的。这是本人第一次改作文，不足之处还望指教~~

谢谢ls这么热心啊~~
就是这个作文评判的差异好大呀~
拿给个同学看，说有跑题危险，因为没有一开始讲i agree that...
拜拜，希望达人也给解答下
因为自己觉得先分析，就明了自己立场了的~

继续求拍~~偶在同学机子上用的同学号~都非马甲

谢谢热心帮助哈~~

不客气,作文本来就是这样的，我只是侧重于你的语法还有结构方面，内容方面~~每个人都有不同的看法，所以，LZ加油~~

凭我的一点点感觉给LZ提出一点点小小的意见，不合理的不理睬就是拉。呵呵

1、用词重复。import通篇都是，换换吧
2、第二段最后一个论据，明明说了Most importantly，可是却是一笔代过啊。。。
3、感觉有些长句中间还是用个豆号的好。比如 Overall, my conclusion is that imported food is playing pivotal role in people’s daily lives because increasing people would like to choose and enjoy it。。。。Not all the people can afford these food especially for those imported transported by air.