寄托家园


 
标题: [求助] 第一次作文,求拍,谢谢。
lishuang0313
寄托新兵
Rank: 2



UID 2216736
精华 0
积分 195
帖子 87
阅读权限 15
注册 2006-5-22
状态 离线
发表于 2008-6-26 23:26  资料 短消息 
第一次作文,求拍,谢谢。

13 Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
M|Dv;h9Xb U8Rc/J留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA
)lU xrMAs the enhancing of service quality in restaurants, more and more people prefer to eat in restaurants, while other people may believe that eating at home offers more relaxed environment and nutritional food. As far as I concerned, I would like to have meals in restaurants because it can provides more advantages.
0O5zQ&iE.md]:H寄托家园To begin with, a restaurant, especially an expensive restaurant can afford various cuisines such as Japanese food, French food, Chinese food and so on. You can taste all kinds of delicious dishes, which may not cook at home. For example, I like to taste Tiramisu, which is a sort of most popular, but costly Italian sweety. My mother once attempted to roast a piece of Tiramisu, learning the cooking method from internet. However, the taste is awful because of lacking some special seasonings.#s%}7n)G$o{
In addition, it is a best place for people to communicate with friends. First, restaurant offers people a comfortable environment, which includes refined music, harmonious atmosphere and high-quality services. In Valentine’s Day, lovers no doubt choose to go to restaurant which can serve romantic and official circumstance to enjoy their nice and memorable evening. What’s more, as customers, waiters treat us kind and polite, as well as we have the right to deserve respect and smile, which all make us feel good. Therefore, people can get along extremely well without any constrain or limitation.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE/j+?7Y[ i7nL.`
However, there are also some disadvantages about eating in a restaurant. People who loved to have their meals at home always hold a reason that home cooking maybe more nutritious than the restaurant food. By contrast, it may contains a large amount of grease, cholesterol and sugar, which might do harm to people’s life by eating too much. Secondly, people may be worried about the bills, if they go to a costly restaurant, which may make them feel pressure. -Xq+hr8c        b0?/e
In conclusion, after a busy day of working, I will not hesitate to have my meals in restaurants .Because it can not only help me to save time, but also make me enjoy my life adequately.
顶部
[广告] ★申请主题活动全记录★
gabby19832004
普通会员
Rank: 3Rank: 3



UID 2461820
精华 1
积分 716
帖子 170
阅读权限 20
注册 2008-2-21
状态 离线
发表于 2008-7-19 14:40  资料 短消息 
As the enhancing (delicated去掉of或者enhanced) of service quality (quality可以不要) in restaurants, more and more people prefer to eat in restaurants, while other people may believe that eating at home offers more relaxed environment and (more)nutritional (nutritious) food. As far as I (am) concerned, I would like to have meals in restaurants because it can provides more advantages (比较级要有比较对象的。建议加上than....).
.@`&efH's"EVd|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE

{3Q9`UdnTo begin with, a restaurant, especially an expensive restaurant(a prestigious one,因为expensive不能修饰restaurant,而且从逻辑上讲贵的未必就是好的。) (It) can afford various cuisines such as Japanese food, French food, Chinese food and so on. You can taste all kinds of delicious dishes, which may not cook (be cooked) at home. For example, I like to taste Tiramisu, which is a sort of most popular(a sort of和most连用有点怪), but costly Italian sweety(dessert). My mother once attempted to roast a piece of Tiramisu,(去掉逗号加by) learning the cooking method (recipe) from internet. However, the taste is awful because of lacking some special seasonings (that could be easily find in restaurants).
]        _9T2Q.xrJ&r$I/@8@q^I,nYk        w*~i9Q8K
In addition, it is (段落主题句最好直接把主语说出来。用it代会让主题模糊。个人建议)a best place for people to communicate with friends. First, restaurant offers people a comfortable environment, which includes refined(这里强调音乐给人的感受,可以用enjoyable或者形容音乐高雅可以用exquisite. refined我不是确定是否可以这样用。如果可以的话请你也告诉我:) music, harmonious atmosphere and high-quality services. In Valentine’s Day, lovers no doubt(undoubtedly) choose to go to restaurant which can serve romantic and official circumstance to enjoy their nice and memorable evening. What’s more, as customers (being consumers at restaurants), waiters treat us kind (kindly) and polite (politely), as well as we have the right to deserve respect and smile (as well as 连接并列成分。这样说好像不太通), which all make us feel good(good这个词用得太笼统了,建议comfortable或者gratified). Therefore, people can get along extremely well without any constrain (constriction) or limitation.
+h
hG t8Kd9}L-y|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE

"|tBYi^HnHowever, there are also some disadvantages about eating in a restaurant. People who loved (love) to have their meals at home always hold a reason that home cooking (food) maybe more nutritious than the restaurant food. By contrast, it may contains a large amount of grease, cholesterol and sugar, which might do harm (be harmful) to people’s life by eating too much. Secondly, people may be worried about the bills(the exorbitant expense), if they go to a costly restaurant, which may make them feel pressure (overburdend).
-n.Q$wR$j'Hv寄托家园|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE#d%P"b-]1G{2w1W
TIn conclusion, after a busy day of working, I will not (be) hesitate to have my meals in restaurants .Because it can not only help me to save time, but also make me enjoy my life adequately.:t}|trh0r~
bbs.gter.netpu$WTa_
恩整片文章改下来,感觉还不错的。段落层次清晰,所以就没有在结构上多讨论了。有一些用词作者可以注意一下,一些地方我只是提出自己的意见,欢迎楼主一起讨论。
uOt$F?&I J!p|1E|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE另外,麻烦楼主帮我看一下我的文章,多多拍砖。谢谢!~
!E:vO
dU;k
TDB1om
http://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-858799-1-1.html




好好活着,因为我们会死很久
顶部
[广告] ★申请主题活动全记录★
 


当前时区 GMT+8, 现在时间是 2008-9-6 14:35

Powered by www.gter.net © 2000-2007
清除 Cookies - - 寄托天下 - Archiver - WAP