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标题: [主题活动] IMPULSE作文小组第17次作业------双手的温柔
双手的温柔
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发表于 2008-7-17 11:47  资料 短消息  QQ
IMPULSE作文小组第17次作业------双手的温柔

People's life nowadays is greatly influenced by the technical development, especially those in electrical field. More and more people are becoming used to read on their computer or other electrical devices instead of printed books. Is there any possibility that after 20 years from now on, students will abandon paper books? Mine answer is yes.
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Mgf\留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA

ie-lEQ \W TeC cbbs.gter.netFirst of all, technology development has already prepared the foundation for this change. If looking people around, most of them may own a laptop, cell phone or a PSP, all of those can store electrical books, office documents, or PDF files. A great many people tend to read news or novels by those devices in subways or on buses. In the same time, power point has become a popular media for teaching, and computer based exams are also proven feasible and convenient by several years practices. The libraries are adopting a lot of electrical methods as well. From the users using habit and good effect of this change in campus, we could infer that, after several years, the books will be totally replaced by those new technology tools. PY#p.u%at

/P4J8F-U)YTHAq留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USASecond, it is more convenient to use electrical tools than printed books. On the one hand, people can store the whole library in several DVDs or a Movable Hard Disk, much easier than carry more than 20 pounds books, especially for students not have car. On the other hand, the storage and search process are also simplified. People no longer need to have several large bookshelves at home and to climb up on a ladder to fetch the book on the top. With the alternative method, storage can be a seconds-work from a disk to a computer, the search function will help to pinpoint the book or even the right page wanted.
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Thirdly, from the environmental perspective, this change in the future will also make a lot of sense. Paper is made of wood fiber. After reducing or eliminating the usage of printed books, need for paper will consequently be reduced. Thus, wood requirements will reduced. In the same time, the process of paper production produces severe pollution to water and air. Less paper usage means less pollution. For the best interest of the environment, government may encourage this revolution on books, which will impact on the abandon of printed books in the schools. 0dkvut4S'~
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To sum up, as a comprehensive effect by current and future technical development, the request of environment protect as well as the user friendly features of the alternative methods, after 20 years, the students will not use the printed books any more.




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发表于 2008-7-17 22:23  资料 短消息 
People's life nowadays is greatly influenced by the technical development, especially those in electrical field. More and more people are becoming used to read on their computer or other electrical devices(electronic devices) instead of printed books. Is there any possibility that after 20 years from now on, students will abandon paper books? Mine(my) answer is yes.
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留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA7\*nA2jzk
First of all, technology development(technological development/advancement;development of technology) has already prepared the foundation for this change. If looking people around, most of them may own a laptop, cell phone or a PSP, all of those can store electrical books(electronic books,digital books), office documents, or PDF files. A great many people tend to read news or novels by those devices in subways or on buses. In the same time(at the same time, in addition), power point has become a popular media for teaching, and computer based exams are also proven feasible and convenient by several years practices. The libraries are adopting a lot of electrical methods as well. From the users' using habit and good effect of this change in campus, we could infer that, after several years, the books will be totally replaced by those new technology tools.bbs.gter.netZ
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u4k'a|s,F.R.F$j寄托家园Second, it is more convenient to use electrical tools than printed books. On the one hand, people can store the whole library in several DVDs or a movable Hard Disk, much easier than carry more than 20 pounds books, especially for students not have car. On the other hand, the storage and search process are also simplified. People no longer need to have several large bookshelves at home and to climb up on a ladder to fetch the book on the top. With the alternative method, storage can be a seconds-work from a disk to a computer, the search function will help to pinpoint the book or even the right page wanted.
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Thirdly, from the environmental perspective, this change in the future will also make a lot of sense. Paper is made of wood fiber. After reducing or eliminating the usage of printed books, need for paper will consequently be reduced. Thus, wood requirements will reduced(reduce). In the same time, the process of paper production produces severe pollution to water and air. Less paper usage means less pollution. For the best interest of the environment, government may encourage this revolution on books, which will impact on the abandon of printed books in the schools.
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?,sm        aH(t-O|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRETo sum up, as a comprehensive effect by current and future technical development, the request of environment protect as well as the user friendly features of the alternative methods, after 20 years, the students will not use the printed books any more.
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发表于 2008-7-18 13:08  资料 短消息 
People's life nowadays is greatly influenced by the technical development(developments跟后面those对应), especially those in electrical field. More and more people are becoming(我觉得这里用being比较好,因为前面more and more已经有become的意思了)used to read on their computer or other electrical devices instead of printed books. Is there any possibility that after 20 years from now on, students will abandon paper books? Mine(My) answer is yes. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA'o7]3s rWi,}D#np
介绍背景,提出自己的观点。复杂句和简单句相结合。开头不错。

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First of all, technology development has already prepared the foundation (我觉得foundation这个词有点抽象。用prerequisite会不会好一点?)for this change. If looking people around, most of them may own a laptop, cell phone or a PSP, all of those can store electrical books, office documents, or PDF files. A great many people tend to read news or novels by (using) those devices in subways or on buses. In (At) the same time, power point (PPT or Power Point 专有名词首字母大写) has become a popular media for teaching, and computer based exams are also proven feasible and convenient by several years practices. The libraries are adopting a lot of electrical methods as well. From the users using habit and good effect of this change in campus, we could infer that, after several years, the books will be totally replaced by those new technology tools.(};x:E^5K&T'n
论点清晰。论证充分。唯独觉得里面的例子有点乱。 |mCq e1a
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Second, it is more convenient to use electrical tools than printed books. On the one hand, people can store the whole library in several DVDs or a Movable Hard Disk, much easier than carry(carrying more than 20 pounds books, especially for students not have car (especially for students who do not have a car). On the other hand, the storage and search process are also simplified. People no longer need to have several large bookshelves at home and to climb up on a ladder to fetch the book on (from) the top. With the alternative method, storage can be a seconds-work from a disk to a computer, the search function will help to pinpoint the book or even the right page wanted.
#O3lrO\0p4R6gbbs.gter.net本段论点有点像第一段里面的一个小点(虽然仔细辨认还是可以看出来第一段说的是有这个物质条件,第二段说更加便利,但是ETS应该不会这么仔细去看的)。所以还是建议作者把思路整理一下。
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Thirdly, from the environmental perspective, this change in the future will also make a lot of sense. For instance, Paper is made of wood fiber. After reducing or eliminating the usage of printed books, need for paper will consequently be reduced. Thus, wood requirements will reduced. In the same time, the process of paper production produces severe pollution to both water and air. Less paper usage means less pollution. For the best interest (benefit) of the environment, government may encourage this revolution on books, which will impact on the abandon of printed books in the schools.

@1Ud        vi这段还是说书的事情啊。嗯。感觉有点小跑题。建议把最后一局即政府会提倡使用电子书提前到第二句,这样会比较明确一点。因为主题说的是抛弃纸质书籍是否可行。 %S;U#M留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAOs\0LjU
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To sum up, as a comprehensive effect by current and future technical development, the request of environment protect as well as the user friendly features of the alternative methods, after 20 years, the students will not use the printed books any more(最后一句是否有些绝对?最好是最后一段给一句让步).
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发表于 2008-7-18 21:41  资料 短消息  QQ
People'slife nowadays is greatly influenced by the technical development,especially those in electrical field. More and more people are becomingused to read(习惯做某事不是be used to sth/doing sth吗,改成reading) on their computer or other electrical(electronic电子的,个人认为准确一点...) devices instead ofprinted books. Is there any possibility that after 20 years from nowon, students will abandon paper books? Mine(my) answer is yes. SB!b/@/rW
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First of all, technologydevelopment has already prepared the foundation for this change. Iflooking(好像没有if doing这种表达吧...改成if we look) people around, most of them may own a laptop, cell phone or aPSP, all of those can store electrical(electronic电子书...) books, office documents, or PDFfiles. A great many people tend to read news or novels by (没有看过这种介词,不知道是不是on更常见一点,lz自己决定吧)those devicesin subways or on buses. In the same time, power point has become apopular media for teaching, and computer based exams are also proven feasible and convenient by several years practices. The libraries areadopting a lot of electrical methods as well. From the users' usinghabit and good effect of this change in campus, we could infer that,after several years, the books will be totally replaced by those newtechnology tools. W0B2u"p/ll!dnC
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8{A_/hFSecond,it is more convenient to use electrical tools than printed books. Onthe one hand, people can store the whole library in several DVDs or aMovable Hard Disk, much easier than carry more than 20 pounds books,especially for students not have car. On the other hand, the storageand search process are also simplified. People no longer need to haveseveral large bookshelves at home and to climb up on a ladder to fetchthe book on the top. With the alternative method, storage can be aseconds-work(有了间隔线好像就不可以加s了) from a disk to a computer, the search function will helpto pinpoint the book or even the right page wanted.
&q{BZ_ ib6u*j留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA2B8D}GPZDzCU 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAE&T~(k6KrU3N4C

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R1`jW8v.t3}{留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA
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留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA/bMrc\P O
Thirdly, from theenvironmental perspective, this change in the future will also make alot of sense. Paper is made of wood fiber. After reducing oreliminating the usage of printed books, the need for paper willconsequently be reduced. Thus, wood requirements will be reduced. In(at) thesame time, the process of paper production produces severe pollution towater and air. Less paper usage means less pollution.(两句衔接好像不好,at the time, the reducing of the paper production will lead to the decresing of the pollution to the water and air created during paper production) For the bestinterest of the environment, government may encourage this revolutionon books, which will impact on(have an impact on 或者  impact) the abandon of printed books in theschools. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAm8|.n$v3k3@-G8QAbs
/S.G%d/B8l(g-?n)Ubbs.gter.ce.cn 寄托家园0h{{9yk5|Z ?w6X7vJM
To sum up, as acomprehensive effect by current and future technical development, therequest of environment protect as well as the user friendly features ofthe alternative methods, after 20 years, the students will not use theprinted books any more.

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5Z!@1c2x0X4B留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA第一次替别人改作文,呵呵
7b9h#VEQ[寄托家园和ls的同学感觉差不多,前面两个原因我知道是不同的,但你没说清楚,还有重叠在一起的东西,比如那个移动硬盘什么的5tf)Z$f&Z'n8?{
第三个原因其实不错,但是也没有很好的与书会被淘汰联系起来,我觉的如果说,电子书有利于环保,随着人们环保意识的增强,他们更倾向与使用这些东西,同时政府也会越来越关注环境问题,也会制定偏向电子书的政策,两者都会导致实体书的淘汰A2eQ;~Jf
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个人观点,仅供参考
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双手的温柔
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发表于 2008-7-19 11:26  资料 短消息  QQ
谢谢ls各位的修改,很受益哦:)
9`$V.U;d'Qp5G:C1]+Ay看了各位的观点,这样似乎会更好些:
A\O R:@~.qx寄托家园1. e-book的好处&特点bbs.gter.net0kQ:y.pp"f+k#Y
- 方便,易于保存|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE4y8Ki,e8P.@
2. 从物质基础来看:用于存储+阅读这些E-book的介质:各种digital devices已经非常普及。
4d \qM:Rbbs.gter.net实际上,已经有许多人越来越接受这种书的新形式。bbs.gter.net
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3. 从环保角度看。(哈哈,zjboy的建议)'hsq"Gjg
e-book利于环保,随着人们环保意思增强+政府作用= e-book代替纸质书。
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&FM)a%wm`$[([这样会不会比较清楚些呢




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