10.15
PPII 模考2nd套 147+168,崩溃的心态可想而知。这次如果GRE拿不到成绩,17fall又要挂,申请18fall?各种想法在脑子里挤到爆炸。找过朋友聊天,有个很好的朋友从中科大的PhD退学了,跨考考研CS,他的勇气也是激励了自己;又回忆起之前看到的the pursue of happiness, Will Smith在投行做intern的时候头发有了很多白丝,但还是在坚持着,还有两个经典的场景: 1. 篮球场上,smith对儿子说, don't ever let somebody tell you that you can't do something, not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do sth themselves. So they tell you that you can't do it. if you want something, go get it. period. 2. 凌晨地铁公厕里,有人大力敲门,smith捂住儿子的耳朵,一条腿抵住门,流下辛酸的泪水。 之后我告诉自己,对梦想,抑或对幸福的追寻是一种生活态度,它不局限于本科期间或者毕业这一两年或者30岁之前,它是贯穿一生的东西;GRE,申请,读博,都是进步的一部分,因为自己想追寻更高品质的生活。那么即使这次GRE挂掉,也不要灰心,继续准备,直到拿到像样的成绩,大不了18fall。想起自己大四考了5次GRE,verbal最高才148, 如果自己最终放弃了GRE,余生经历其他挑战时,总会有这样的声音,hey, Damon, there's sth you just can't do, just like GRE. You just can't do it, just give it up, cause you just can't do it. 那将是自己人生的悲剧。