[作文] 求Romanus修改作文 [复制链接]

teenteen
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-7-18 17:32:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Honest is considered as one of the most essential moral character of a person in modern society. Everyone expects his friends be always honest to him in any situation. However, I hold the viewpoint that in some circumstances, it is not proper or even impossible for one to tell the truth to his friends.

Since graduated from the university, how much money one earns per year has become a heating topic among my university classmates and friends. People care about whether others are earn more money than they do, and always be curious of whether other people enjoy a better life or have a more decent job. I find gradually that it is not advisable to tell the truth when being asked questions like“How much you earned?”or “Have you brought a house?” Because if I told to my friends that my salary is higher than them, they always seem to be upset. Furthermore, some of my friends even frequently borrow money from me since they get known of my pay level but never pay back. As a result, I begin to tell lies in such situations and try to make sure that my answer won’t make my friends feel uncomfortable.

On the other hand, sometimes a white lie may lead to a better result than simply be honest with friends. Actually, our everyday life is full of these tiny and harmless lies. Every morning when I step into the office, my colleague says to me that“You look so beautiful today”with a big smile, no matter whether I sleep late last night and look tired and listless. When a baby is born, all the relatives and friends of the parents will express their congratulations by saying that“What a cute kid!”or” I have never seen such a beautiful little girl!”, even though everybody knows that the newly born baby are always looks the same. However, people never take such lies as dishonesty or feel hurt by them, because they all know that such language are just aim to show kindness and will not be harm to anyone at all.

Does honest still important in communication? Of course! I strongly agree with the opinion that people should be total honest to friends as well as all other people on the significant events. Lying just in order to conceal the mistakes or avoid from taking responsibility will cause serious consequence and should never be forgave.

To sum up, although honest is indeed one of the most cherished quality to people, it is quite difficult be always honest on every event. Sometimes a white lie will not only be necessary for keep the friendship, but is also a indispensable communication skill in our daily life.

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妙慈_元元
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沙发

发表于 2012-7-18 18:24:58 |只看该作者

爱莫能助……楼主等待吧~

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mpromanus
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板凳

发表于 2012-7-21 11:31:28 |只看该作者

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Honesty is considered as one of the most essential moral characters of a person in the modern society. Everyone expects his friends to be always honest with him (Do not let the Chinese expression 对某人很诚实 affect you..:)) in any situation. However, I hold the viewpoint that in some circumstances, it is not proper or even impossible (This is actually ambiguous because I don't know if you've omitted 'it is' or 'it is not'. Both are grammatically acceptable but semantically very different. If I'd write this, I'd use 'it is not proper nor even possible..' to avoid any ambiguity.) for one to tell the truth to his friends.

Since I? (This is an indenpendent clause; it has to have a subject.) graduated from the university, how much money one earns per year has become a heating topic among my university classmates and friends. People care about whether others are earn more money than they do, and always are curious of whether other people enjoy a better life or have a more decent job. I find out gradually (Also, it's usually better to place the temporal adverb 'gradually' before the verb.) that it is not advisable to tell the truth when being asked questions like“How much did you earned?”or “Have you brought (I think you mean 'bought', not 'brought'..) a house?” Because if I told to my friends that my salary is higher than theirs, they always seem to be upset. Furthermore, some of my friends even frequently borrow money from me since they get to know of my pay level but never pay back. As a result, I begin to tell lies in such situations and try to make sure that my answer won’t make my friends feel uncomfortable. (Very good example.)

On the other hand, sometimes a white lie may lead to a better result than simply being honest with friends. Actually, our everyday life is full of these tiny and harmless lies. Every morning when I step into the office, my colleague says to me that “You look so beautiful today” ('that' introduces an indirect quotation. You're quoting directly what other people said, so there's no need to use 'that'.) with a big smile, no matter whether I sleep late last night and look tired and listless. When a baby is born, all the relatives and friends of the parents will express their congratulations by saying that “What a cute kid!”or” I have never seen such a beautiful little girl!”, even though everybody knows that the newly born babies are always looks the same. (I personally have seen both very ugly and very beautiful newborns..most of them do look the same but there are always exceptions :) But then this is just digression. Your writing is fine.)However, people never take such lies as dishonesty, or feel hurt by them, because they all know that such language are just aims to show kindness and will not be harmful to anyone at all.

Is honesty still important in communication? Of course! I strongly agree with the opinion that people should be totally honest to friends as well as all other people on the significant events. Lying just in order to conceal the mistakes or avoid from taking responsibility will cause serious consequences and should never be forgiven.

To sum up, although honesty is indeed one of the most cherished qualities to people, it is quite difficult be always honest on every event. Sometimes a white lie will not only be necessary for keeping the friendship, but is also an indispensable communication skill in our daily life.

总结：

论述很完整，例子也解释得很好。但是你的be动词使用很怪异，不需要的时候你会在句子里加进be动词，该用的时候又没有用。。动词分词（动名词啊，被动式啊这些）和动词短语的使用也不是很扎实，所以请特别注意红字标出的地方。

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