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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should take a course on basic economics.
Recently, there is an general debate on whether to arrange an economics class for high school students. Some people say that it is just too early for them to study economics and it is too hard, but others argue that it benefits the students a lot. As far as I am concerned, the students should study basic economics at their high school times. The followings are my reasons.
Firstly, economics is an interesting subject to study, and students may be benefited in the choice of their future major in the university. Economics researches into the mechanism of the functioning market in the world. Many students are fond of the very subjects. One of my classmates once said to me, the guy who studied economics by himself in the high school (This describes your classmate, so it should go immediately after 'one of my classmates', not after 'me'.), about how it feels when reading Adam Smith’s great works. “It feels like you can gain an insight into the soul of the whole society, the whole nation. And you can predict at any time that what the market would behave like (or 'how the market would behave'.), when the price of tomatoes would rise.” That’s the very inspiration that I major in economics in my undergraduate study and in addition, I found it worth my lifetime to study into the charming subject.(Right, but I don't see how students would 'benefit' in choosing economics as their undergraduate major after being inspired in high school.)
Secondly, studying economics allows the students to gain a deep insight into the events either in their community and national wide (1. If you want to use 'either', it usually should follow with 'or'. If you want to use 'and', the precedent should be 'both'; 2. it's 'nation wide', not 'national wide'.). Economics provides a systematic perspective to analyze the undergoing topics ('the' undergoing topics of what? If you use the article 'the', the noun phrase must be specific.). So they (Who? The undergoing topics? 3rd person pronouns almost always resolve to the nearest noun phrase to its left, and in this case, the nearest plural noun is 'undergoing topics', although I think you meant this to mean 'students', which is unfortunately too far away – so make sure you check all your pronouns and make sure their references are correct.) can obtain a clear opinion on why the exchange rate between the U.S. dollars and Chinese RMB is a focus in the CNN news. Furthermore, the basic economy training would introduce the students themselves to an deeply thoughts on (Too many nouns. Why not simply 'encourage the students themselves to pondon on..'? Vary your verbs rather than always trying to vary your noun phrases – works much better.) whether to support Obama or his opponent in the coming U.S. election, what are the differences are between their national economy policies, and will if either would make a difference on the improvement of their life conditions.
Last but not least, the economics lessons would bring the students a more reasonable view of wealth and lead them to make better use of it. From a practical view, the economics is a discipline that deals with wealth----mostly money. It tells people how the wealth is gained, accumulated, and circulated among people. Since students often don’t have much money to spend at their will, they should make better use of this limited wealth. With knowledge of economics, they would make it easy to use this money efficiently, effectively, and even make more money. They would spend money in a more economical way----saving also means earning. (Very good point.)The benefits are not just for the individuals. The whole nation would be more prosperous if all people spend money in a more reasonable way.
As we can see, providing lessons on economics makes a lot of benefits both on the students’ future study and lives, even the whole nation. Maybe the only shortcoming of it is these students would spend most of their time on it so to neglecting other lessons.(Do NOT leave arguments open like this. If you mention an opposing opinion, you need to address it – either refute it, or suggest ways to compromise or incorporate it into your argument. Leaving arguments open is like leaving the water tap on – not good.)
总结:
说理很不错,虽然我也许会挑剔你其实没有太多地点出为什么需要在high school就开这门课(如果只是让学生都有点经济常识的话,也可以做成像马列思修那样的大学级别的通识必修神马的,非要在high school就开有什么特别的呢?),不过对付托福是足够了。。只是最后让步没反驳导致整篇文漏了口子。。语言上没有很大的问题,多注意语用搭配。
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