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发表于 2012-8-1 21:19:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

topic living in a university housing or in an apartment in the community

It is quite breathtaking for teenagers to prepare for his or her campus life, and choosing where to live, whether live in a university dormitory or off campus can be an inevitable decision. Both of those options have their related benefit. From my perspective, I believe whether a student live on or off campus depends on the student's major, habit and character.
The surrounding in which a student live depends on the major this student choose at some point. For example, if a student major in musical composition, which needs inspiration and creation that take silence and harmony as a prerequisite, living off campus should be an essential decision to maintain the creativity and the inspiration of composing melodious and high quality masterpieces. However, for those students who major in politics, living in campus with classmates can be a better choice because discussion and controversy are needed on current affairs. Moreover, it is a highly professional and effective approach to study when students are commenting on an argumentative topic with classmates from different vision and aspects.
Additionally, a student's habit should also be taken into consideration. A student equipped with good and healthy habits like good individual hygiene, regular time arrangement and a sense of morality can have fascinating effect on others. On the contrary, it would be detrimental to live with a roommate who own a disordered time table, lack a sense of morality or live a disorganized and messy life.
Apart from the above consideration, the character of a student plays an indispensable role either. It is better for a group of gregarious students to live together for they all fond of meeting with fresh article and new friends. Moreover, for those students who lack of independence, the assistance in both daily life and school courses provided by the roommates become essential and imperative. However, for those students , pursuing for freedom and independence, live off campus is a reasonable option.
In a word, I consider that both of these choice are good options. It depends on which option can lead to a cheerful campus live ,a high grade through the curriculum, and a brilliant and promising future.

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mpromanus
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沙发

发表于 2012-8-9 21:59:23 |只看该作者

living in a university housing or in an apartment in the community

It is quite breathtaking (This means 'surprising, thrilling to the degree of dumbfounding'. It means you're so surprised that you're frozen, speechless, as if your breath has been taken away. It doesn't mean 'exciting'. I'm not sure how you really meant to describe the preparation but I'd suggest a simple 'thrilling'.) for teenagers to prepare for his or her campus life, and choosing where to live, whether live in a university dormitory or off campus, can be an inevitable decision. Both of those options have their related benefit. From my perspective, I believe whether a student lives on or off campus depends on the student's major, habits and character.

The surrounding in which a student lives depends on the major this student chooses at some point. For example, if a student majors in musical composition, which needs inspiration and creation that take silence and harmony as a prerequisite (I'm not understanding this..if you say 'prerequisite', you mean that without silence and harmony, there can be no inspiration and creativity..but inspiration and creativity, even in composition, have nothing to do with the existence of silence and harmony..), living off campus should be an essential decision to maintain the creativity and the inspiration of composing melodious and high quality masterpieces. (Again, I don't see why living off campus must inspire inspiration and creativity, and living on campus can not. Why are you assuming that living on campus must not offer 'silence and harmony'?) However, for those students who major in politics, living in campus with classmates can be a better choice because discussion and controversy are needed on current affairs. (Again, you can live with classmates even you live off campus – you can rent and share a house with your classmates. In fact, many students do that in the UK or the States. You're making so many unjustified assumptions about what living on or off campus must be like.) Moreover, it is a highly professional and effective approach to studies when students are commenting on an argumentative topic with classmates from different viewpoints and aspects.

Additionally, a student's habits should also be taken into consideration. A student equipped with good and healthy habits like good individual hygiene, regular time arrangement and a sense of morality can have fascinating effects on others. On the contrary, it would be detrimental to live with a roommate who owns a disordered time table, lacks a sense of morality or lives a disorganized and messy life.(I can't see at all why this is relevant to the issue of living on or off campus. As said, whether you live on or off campus should have no bearing on who you live with or whether you live with others. You can live on campus in a single house, or live with lots of classmates off campus, or whatever combination you fancy – I understand that in China most student accommodations are noisy, crowded, shared dorm rooms but you can't assume that's the only kind of on-campus accommodation all over the world!)

Apart from the above considerations, the character of a student plays an indispensable role too. It is better for a group of gregarious students to live together for they are all fond of meeting with fresh article (What does this mean here?) and new friends. Moreover, for those students who lack of independence, the assistance in both daily life and school courses provided by the roommates become essential and imperative. However, for those students , pursuing for freedom and independence, live off campus is a reasonable option.
In a word, I consider that both of these choices are good options. It depends on which option can lead to a cheerful campus live ,a high grade through the curriculum, and a brilliant and promising future.

总结：

请注意第三人称单数。。论述上就是你似乎对学校宿舍/外面住房的生活状态有很多的模式化看法，比如学校宿舍必定是大家住在一起的吵闹的，外面必定是比较独立的比较安静的，这都不一定的事情。。所以请注意在论述中要避免把论证建立在自己既成的印象上，看法要客观。如果你要用自己本身经验的印象，那就要说明自己的论述是基于个人看法的，不能把自己的经验什么qualification都没有就推而广之了。。

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