[作文] 【求批改】101017NA独立作文 [复制链接]

Ti_Amo
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楼主

发表于 2012-8-2 12:00:33 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

作文：101017 It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

With the remarkable improvement of people's living standard, an increasing number of people tend to attach importance to relaxing themselves, therefore, there are various ways to be chosen. Taking many factors into consideration, I am partial to the statement that it is spiritual activities rather than physical exercises that help people release stress more effectively.

Admittedly, physical exercise may have some positive effects on people's health, for it contribute to fitness; in a way, nevertheless, it do some harm to people and tire people out. However, an essential reason concerns the nature of relaxing - people, in most cases, would like only make themselves escape from the pressures they have in their daily lives, not the other way around. As we can imagine, how deadly exhausted people would feel after working for a whole day. If we struggled to do some exercises, we might not only cannot concentrate on sports but even hurt ourselves. When it comes to watching a movie or reading a book, people are more likely to be relaxed and get comfort without worrying about being injured.

However, unlike physical exercise, spiritual activities, like viewing a movie and doing some reading, may add considerable comfort to people's leisure time. Different people may easily get access to whatever types of movies and books. I would like to take myself as an example. I am extremely fond of detective movies and magical novels so that whenever I felt fatigued, I would turn to my book shelves to search for a classic movie, like Gone with the Wind, or a worth-reading novel, like Harry Potter. After immersing in my own pleasing time, I would put the tiredness behind me and start a new journey.

Furthermore, spiritual activities provide more spaces for people's mental recovery from high-intensity work. There are tremendous people claiming that they feel being refreshed after enjoying a movie or a book. To prove this statement, Doctor Howard Calisle, the professor of department of medicine in University of Birmingham, conducted a survey with his colleagues. The data indicate that people's brains are likely to get hurt after hard work. When people relax themselves by enjoying movies and books, those nerves fix themselves at an incredible speed. But when people do physical exercise, the situation seems not better.

On the whole, from what has been mentioned above, I am firmly convinced that it is a better way for people to do spiritual activities than do physical exercises.

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mpromanus
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沙发

发表于 2012-8-13 08:26:34 |只看该作者

It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

With the remarkable improvement of people's living standard, an increasing number of people tend to attach importance to relaxing themselves, therefore, there are various ways to be chosen from. Taking many factors into consideration, I am partial to the statement that it is spiritual activities rather than physical exercises that help people release stress more effectively.

Admittedly, physical exercise may have some positive effects on people's health, for it contributes to fitness; in a way, nevertheless, it does some harm to people and tire people out. However, an essential reason concerns the nature of relaxing - people, in most cases, would like only make themselves escape from the pressures they have in their daily lives, not the other way around. As we can imagine, how deadly exhausted people would feel after working for a whole day. If we struggled to do some exercises, we might not only cannot concentrate (I had to read this 3 times to get that this is actually 'we might –not only – cannot concentrate..'. I don't know why so many Chinese students love the construct 'not only…but also…' but I personally find this construct very hard to read – especially when overloaded with phrases with total disregard of language flow.) on sports but even hurt ourselves. (But not all physical exercises must be exhausting..there are very light, relaxing physical exercises..like, yoga.) When it comes to watching a movie or reading a book, people are more likely to be relaxed and get comfort without worrying about being injured.

However, unlike physical exercise, spiritual activities, like viewing a movie and doing some reading, may add considerable comfort to people's leisure time. Different people may easily get access to whatever types of movies and books. I would like to take myself as an example. I am extremely fond of detective movies and magical novels so that whenever I felt fatigued, I would turn to my book shelves to search for a classic movie, like Gone with the Wind, (It's a classic one, alright, but I don't think it's a detective movie..unless you don't mean to echo what you said in the previous sentence..) or a worth-reading novel, like Harry Potter. After immersing in my own pleasing time, I would put the tiredness behind me and start a new journey.(I don't see why physical exercises cannot comfort people..there isn't much of a comparison here.)

Furthermore, spiritual activities provide more spaces for people's mental recovery from high-intensity work. There are a tremendous number people claiming that they feel being refreshed after enjoying a movie or a book. To prove this statement, Doctor Howard Calisle, a (You can only use 'the' if he is the only professor in the department.) professor of the department of medicine in the University of Birmingham, conducted a survey with his colleagues. The data indicates that people's brains are likely to get hurt after hard work. When people relax themselves by enjoying movies and books, those nerves fix themselves at an incredible speed. But when people do physical exercise, the situation seems not better.

On the whole, from what has been mentioned above, I am firmly convinced that it is a better way for people to do spiritual activities than do physical exercises.

总结：

词汇语法论述神马的都很好很强大，但是我觉得你的语言比较cubersome..就是读起来感觉你总是在坚持能用二十个词的句子但是实际上你要说的事情十个词也好说完的，比如make themselves escape from the pressures they have in their daily lives..escape本来就是动词神马的所以这句话其实说escape from their daily pressures就好了。。

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