[未归类] 谁能帮我改一下这篇文章啊？ [复制链接]

walkingnow
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-11-21 13:50:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：

think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

We are alone with no excuses. Man is free to write the script for his own life: He can blame no one else if his life is a poor performance.
Adapted from Jean Paul Sartre

The expectations and restraints of society severely limit a person: Schooling, organized religion, and other social institutions imprison a person's mind and spirit

Assignment: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? Plan and write an essay....

Our decision is always limited by the rules of society; they areaffected by other factors. For examples, religion, power, and money. “Theexpectations and restraints of society severely limit a person: schoolingorganized religion, and other social institutions imprison a person’s mind andspirit.” William Blake said, show that decision isn’t just what we decide, itis influenced by many factors.
I saw a drama before that shows that decision is influence by a lotof factors. There was a car accident and the victim is hurt badly. The offenderwas drunk and hit the victim. The offender doesn’t want to take the blame andgo to jail. He is rich and doesn’t want his fame to decline. He then bribes thewitness with a lot of money to change their testimony on the car accident. Thewitness then says a false testimony and accuses the victim of starting the caraccident. The decision to be honest wasthen changed by money.
There are a lot of temptations that can make us change ourdecisions. We can decide what to choose, but it can be affected by factors suchas power and money. If there’s no temptations that can limit our decisions thenwe can decide everything ourselves.

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linda_k91
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沙发

发表于 2011-11-24 20:05:24 |只看该作者

Our decision is always limited by the rules of society; they areaffected by other factors. 前面说的是decision单数，后面变成了they are 复数。第二句，怪。3.I saw a drama before that shows that decision is influence by a lot of factors. before位置不对，有歧义。4.There was a car accident and the victim is hurt badly. 上半句、下半句时态不一致。
两篇文章我都只看了一半，最基本的句子、语法就有挺多问题的，更提不上修饰了。如有不对的地方，敬请高手斧正。
我原来以为你是小学或者初中生。哇，你注册时间这么早。多有冒犯。
我只是想改改别人的作文，给自己攒点rp。

hello

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