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[a习作temp] arguement8 [复制链接]

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发表于 2014-10-16 21:54:16 |显示全部楼层

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The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College. "To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment  is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

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This argument intend to persuade the school to build more dormitories.The author offer the fact that the admission of new students in growing and the cost for off-campus house is increasing as well,thus students might complain about the lack of dormitories.Also,he imply that the college can attract more students with new houses.This proposal seems logical at first,whereas it suffers from several flaws.
(作者客观性质疑)To begin with,the author’s objectivity is in doubt.As a director of student housing,it might be profitable for him if he can manage more students and more dormitories.By building new houses,he can attract more business in the campus,and the objectivity of this argument is surely jeopardized by this incentive.
(租金上涨不代表学生负担不起)Even the author is completely objective,the evidences offered by him can barely support his assertion.He conclude that students can hardly afford the rent of outside,since the price of the off-campus house is continuely rising.While he the rising trend of the rent is not equal to the high price for the reason that he fail to offer the exact number of the price.It’s totally possible that the original price is less than 300 dollars per month,and this price is acceptable for normal students even after significant increasing.
(学生变多翻倍不代表学生的绝对数值会过多让宿舍不够住)Besides this,the author indicates the number of admission will be doubled in 50 years,and it can hardly be a convincing proof for his argument because he fail to offer the real number of the new students.Lack of this number,there is no proof that the new students will have no place to live in campus if the original students in the campus is relatively few.Even if the students do have trouble in living,it’s very likely that the majority of the new coming students are local which means they can live in their home without using the dormitories in campus.
(建新校舍不一定会吸引学生,事实上新校舍可能会是学费上涨,令许多学生放弃来这里)Moreover,the author exaggerate the attraction of the new housing in campus.He fail to consider that there are many other factors influence the choice of new students,such as the facility,the environment,their finacial condition.New housing means more fee,and that may also keep poor kids from the B college.
(回应instruction,作者要提供那些evidence才能让文章更有说服力)In sum,the author need to prove his objective and also offer the new evidence of the exact number of the rent and student number.Only with this can his arguement become more convicing.
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