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[i习作temp] ISSUE 4 求点评 [复制链接]

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发表于 2016-1-9 01:36:09 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 4

Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

文章:

Although scandals sometimes can reveal some truths and lead the public to focus on some severe problems in the society, generally speaking, scandals can only help to solve problems to a modest extent.

Sometimes scandals may reveal some problems that politicians or officials want to conceal. Especially in authoritarian countries in which the government tends to hold up bad news. In China, there was a famous scandal related to the red-cross several years ago. A girl named Guo Meimei posted some expensive LV handbags on the Internet and remarked that the handbags are from a manager of the red-cross. Suddenly, the photos and Guo's remarks became a high-profile scandal. Consequently, the public started to pay attention to corruptions in the red-cross institutions. At last, the manager was arrested because of corruption and the public no longer trust the red-cross. Without Guo's scandal, people in China may never know the severe corruption in the red-cross, an institution that aims to help the disadvantageous.

However, sometimes scandals may confuse people's attention with some minor issues. In the Unites States, almost in every election year, the presidential candidates may try to use scandals to vilify each other. Some of the scandals may reveal traits that may lead to devastating result if the candidate is elected. But often times, the scandals focus on some minor things, especially personal affairs. These scandals may do harm to the candidate's reputation, but it may attract people's attention to some minor points that are impertinent to the candidate's real ability.

Moreover, scandals are usually used as a powerful weapon to vilify each other by politicians. In this case, although the scandal may reveal some problems, nobody can judge whether the problems are exaggerated. If the public trust the scandal, a vicious politician who attacks rivals by making up scandals may be installed to an important position. Simultaneously, the good reputation of a politician may be damaged. Thus, believing in scandals may finally lead to some detrimental effects.

In sum, scandals may help to reveal some problems, but it is not a good choice for a country to scrutinize its politicians' behaviors via scandals.
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沙发
发表于 2016-1-9 07:54:36 |只看该作者
这道题的关键词是useful和attention
你需要将useful这个概念具体化  
郭美美的例子挺好 但是你没有在最后指出这个丑闻究竟有什么用
后面两段也是 需要在useful这个点上更多的展开
你的语言表达和语法都挺不错 如果扣题准一些的话 有机会拿4分哦

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板凳
发表于 2016-3-24 13:46:46 |只看该作者
弱弱问一句,像这种题目,在文中已经很明显地就说了两种观点的,还需要点名阐述一下“address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.”吗?

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地板
发表于 2016-3-24 22:49:01 |只看该作者
yaxiangsss 发表于 2016-3-24 13:46
弱弱问一句,像这种题目,在文中已经很明显地就说了两种观点的,还需要点名阐述一下“address the most com ...

address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position这类 instruction, 通常是你需要偏向某一个观点 ( 不能一边倒)  
建议在最后一个中间段提出 另外的观点是怎样反驳你的观点 , 注意compelling , 对方观点的思路要阐述详细清楚.

需要阐述, 而且要开一个自然段阐述回应instruction

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发表于 2016-8-25 18:08:33 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2016-1-9 07:54
这道题的关键词是useful和attention
你需要将useful这个概念具体化  
郭美美的例子挺好 但是你没有在最后 ...

谢谢大神!最终真的拿了4分哦!

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发表于 2017-7-29 15:14:41 |只看该作者
Han.Steven.Liu 发表于 2016-8-25 18:08
谢谢大神!最终真的拿了4分哦!

好羡慕!

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发表于 2017-7-29 15:25:39 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2016-1-9 07:54
这道题的关键词是useful和attention
你需要将useful这个概念具体化  
郭美美的例子挺好 但是你没有在最后 ...

再次请问王老师,现在还会在版面上批改文章吗?
比如这篇issue,如果按照王老师的issue破题法,我会先想到有哪些类型的scandal,比如政治的学术的商业的,可是貌似不适用于这道题——分不同领域去写容易啰嗦又缺乏深度。
如果按照把attention具体化的思路,我会想到draw attention后的不同后果,比如政府介入了丑闻加强了监管,或者只是民众热炒以后一哄而散,可是这样貌似只有正反两面可写了。
issue果然还是不能像argu一样有一个统一的破题方法,只能具体题目具体分析么?

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发表于 2017-7-29 22:14:03 |只看该作者
sweepyou 发表于 2017-7-29 15:25
再次请问王老师,现在还会在版面上批改文章吗?
比如这篇issue,如果按照王老师的issue破题法,我会先想 ...

目前不会在版面上批改
不过寄托最近搞了一个助考群 我会在里面指导大家练习作文

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