Argument写作入门-开头段第一步：梳理结论、论据

arborli99UID：3584260

老师你好，根据帖子的要求，从你的6分博客找了一篇argument，参考你了你的提纲，写了一个开头，希望批改一下。

Argument 6 .
1,抄题，Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

2,结论 we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

  论据：the recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt.

开头 According to the argument, the decline of arctic deer population is the result of ice melting. To support this conclude, the author cites  the local hunter's report and   coincide with the global warming trends have caused the ice to melt, which prevented the deer access to the islands for food. At first sight , it seems reasoning and convincing. However, to further analyze, this argument revels that a lack of specific evidences to test whether the assumption is correct.

写作较弱，改写了王老师的思路，望批改。再继续练两个开头。