powerfulbean的个人作品集

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

声明：这里的大部分内容来自寄托王浩老师的GRE作文6分教学博客。
8月份参加了同主题写作活动，使我对GRE作文构思有了较为系统的了解，但是感觉自己的写作能力还是极差。
在这里开帖子的目的，正如王老师所讲（文章一大抄），试图通过仿写、总结的方式，增加自己的话题语料以及遣词造句的能力。
在这里向王老师的辛勤付出表示感谢。



Issue 1
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

[划重点]题目要求：might or might not hold true

来自王老师的讲解：
由于这道题要求我们讨论在多大程度同意某命题，以及这个命题何时成立、何时不成立，我们的基本观点可以是
under conditions A or B, the statement is true because …; when conditions C or D are met, the statement does not hold true because …

我所采用的立论方法：分情况讨论，在一些日常的事务中，的确有负面影响。但是在科学研究等则不然。

大概思路：
科技在方便人们日常生活的同时，的确在某些方面影响了人们独立思考的能力：比如算数，记录事情，在网上一查便知的答案。但是在更多的地方上是帮助人们更好的去帮助人类思考如何推动世界的进步，提高效率。比如超级计算机帮助科学家快速的模拟和验证各种理论模型，这在过去是一件很费时费力的事。

Intro:
It is widely accepted that human's daily life is becoming increasingly convenient with the help of advanced modern technology. And thus some people argue that this convenience are deteriorating the ability of human to think for themselves. It is true that many people are making less independent thinking, for example, some students, instead of thinking for themselves at first,  find answers of some difficult questions directly on the internet. But under many circumstances this argument does not hold true. In many fields the advanced technology are helping people to do creative work more efficiently. For the scientists, they can use super computer to certify the accuracy of their theories. And for the businessmen, the can make more sound decisions with the help of data analysis tools.

Ts1
The concern that reliance on technology to solving problems may lead to the deterioration of thinking abilities is truly valid for some students who always find answers on the internet before thinking about it independtly as a result of technological development in network.

Ts2
Consider the scientists and engineers who are responsible for developing the theoretical and practical aspects of the new technologies. It is true that they also rely on technologies to solve their problems in research and product developments. But these technologies actually strength their own thinking abilities to solve problems in their works.
        A.  Scientists use super computer to simulate a model and critfy their theory to save time in calcuating and spend more time in thinking.
        B.  Program developer using IDE to write codes can pay more attention on creating data structure and the algorithms.
            a.  IDE can help them  to check the syntax error and save time.
       
Ts3
Businessmen can make more sound and efficient decision with the help of advanced technology.
        A. Data analysis software help them to know more information about the products, and financial status.
        B. state-of-the-art technologies for communications such as email, video conferencing and even Facebook to collect feedback from the users and data from different sources

蓝底字引用自王老师范文

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

issue 13: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Nowadays, lots of universities encourage students to take the courses outside their major. I strongly approve what they do, cause learning knowledge brings students benefits both in life and career in the future. Some people may argue that it is a waste of time and students can learn those knowledge outside the course. I will answer this question after providing analysis to the benefits of learning the outside major courses.

People can have more hobbies to help them relax from the daily pressure. By taking PE class, students can be familiar some kinds of sports, and they can practice this sports with their friends outside the classes. Thus, they can improve their health condition and cultivate friendship. For example, many students who were not familiar with soccer before enrolled in the college choose the soccer class. After the class, they often raise friendly contest together and during the process both their body and the friendship is strengthened. As we all know, routinely exercises are indispensable, the university should require their students to take courses outside their major.

In addition, taking courses outside the major is beneficial to students’ future career. On one hand, it can prepare students prepare for the future interdisciplinary research or works. For example, many computer scientists have learned about the biological courses to help them make exploration in bioinformatics. Also, some biostatic scientists also should be familiar with programming to invent new programs. On the other hand, taking these courses may be can help them find the major they truly talent in. For example, many engineering students choose to make music after their university, and make well achievements and also live a happiness life. There some possibilities that they have chosen music class during their school time. So we can see that learning courses outside is also beneficial to future career.

However, some people may say that it is a waste of time and money, because with the development of network, students can also learn different kinds of knowledge in their daily life but not from the courses provided by the school. As far as my concerned, there are some disadvantages of learning through the network. The first is that many of the courses on websites cannot provide students with comprehensive introduction, and we can also verify the correctness of some of the courses. Plus, the professors in the school are more capable of answering students’ questions about this field of study and supervising those students. So, compared to the loss of money and time, it is more valuable to accepted professional supervision and introduction in a field of study.

In conclusion, I strongly approve that college encourage students to choose course outside there major. It is because that students can beneficial from it both in their daily and future career. What is more, it is not a waste of time and money to learn these courses as they provided more professional and systematical education to students.

老师的范文：

n today’s competitive world, holding a college degree can no longer guarantee good job placement or  career success.  Some people argue that students should be required to take courses outside their major area to broaden their perspetives and better prepare for future careers.  Others believe that such requirement is not necessary as courses outside students’ field will not be helpful for future jobs.  In my opinion, taking courses outside one’s speciality can benefit one’s academic study, development of citizenship as well as future career.  

To begin with, taking courses from other field can help students to study their own majors more effectively by introducing the students different perspectives and methods from other disciplines.  Take the students majoring in English and linguistics as examples. By taking courses in computer science, English majors can learn basic programming skills and latest technologies in natural language processing which can help them to explore interesting issues in English and linguistics based on corpus.  Through courses on psychology, English students can also study how learning efficiencies were affected by different factors and better understand the issues in second language acquisition.  As the examples clearly illustrate, taking courses from related disciplines can help student to study their own majors more effectively.  

Courses in other fields can also help students become more responsible citizens capable of making informed decisions on different social issues.  Arts and humanities students can gain more insights into how technologies transformed the society and what ethical and political issues we have to deal with by taking some courses in science and engineering.  Science and technology majors can also better understand the current debates on different political issues by taking courses in history, economics and political science.  The effective operation of out democratic society depends on the collective wisdom of well-educated citizens.  The proposed requirement of courses from different fields can contribute to cultivating better citizens for the society.  

Some people may argue that no courses should be required unless such courses are beneficial for students’ future jobs.  In fact, many courses outside one’s discipline can be helpful for students’ career development.  Taking writing-intensive courses in history and philosophy, for example, can help business students to sharpen their writing skills, which are essential for effective communication in any jobs they may take.  Programming skills that math students can develop through computer science courses will also enable the math graduates to apply their math models to big data in their workplace by developing appropriate computer programs.  On the other hand, it is rather short-sighted to focus on the direct benefits for jobs that students may gain from courses.  After all, universities are not merely vocational training schools.  Students should be encouraged to pursue goals that are not career-oriented.  

In conclusion, I believe that requiring students to take courses outside their fields is beneficial for their academic studies as well as their development of citizenship. While it is also helpful for their future career development, this concern should not be the only consideration when we make decisions.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

【argument】7
.The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Board's conclusion:
Open a cafe in the Monarch Books store
Reasons based:
-Open cafe would attract more customers
-Space could be made by discontiuing children's book section
-Children's book section will become less popular as census indicate the decline in the population under age ten.
-Regal books open its own cafe.

Questions:
-Whether many customers like drinking cafe at the store or not.
-What would happen if they discontinue children's book section because many customers are brought by their children to this store. They loose a lot of customers as their children are more likely go to another store with children's book section.
-If the demand of children's book will truly decrease just because of the decline of children's population.
-Does the Monarch books is under same condition as the regal books?

the move to build a new cafe is necessary for

老师的范文的巧妙之处在于最后一段

As far as competing against Regal Books is concerned, the first question one needs to investigate is whether or not the new cafe at Regal has been successful in attracting more customers.  If Regal's new cafe is not very attractive, there is little incentive for Monarch to follow the practice.  Even if the Regal is successful in building an attractive cafe, one has to review the size of investment that is required for the project and decide whether Monarch can afford the same amount of financial commitment.  Meanwhile, other options for attracting more customers, for example building an online shop, should also be explored.

【argument】8
.The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Conclusion:
The C college should build more dorms.
Reason:
-enrollment is growing make dorm space inadequate
-average rent for an apartment rose
-attractive new dorms can make students more likely enroll at here
Evidence needed：
-First we should figure out how many dorms we have and if our existing dorms truly cannot satisfy the demand.
-It is also important to figure how many students choose rent outside the campus, and if they could afford it.
May be many students like live on their own.

(The data about the average rent of the apartment in town is not very useful as it includes apartments that may be far away from the campus and therefore not available to Buckingham students.  It would be more useful to look at the average rents of the off-campus apartments that Buckingham students usually chose to live in and see if these apartments will become increasingly expensive in future. )

-The third is that we should make a research about why students choose B college, may be the college's academic achievement is so brilliant that new dorms are not the main reason to increase enrollment.

【argument】9
Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

【argument】5.
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette. "On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

文章观点：
这个island应该在夏天减少M的数量从而减少行人和M的交通事故数
论据：
-M是很流行的交通工具，同时夏天人很多
-限制租赁公司租出M的数量来减少M和行人发生事故数
-因为隔壁岛这么做减少了一半，这个岛也可以。

问题：
【王老师】 sources of mopeds in Balmer, 也许来源不止从公司租赁
【王老师】Another important question we need to ask is about the nature and the causes of the accidents
本岛和Seaville的相似程度

【argument】6
Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

观点：
海上冰层减少导致鹿的数量减少。
论据：
-鹿依靠冰层来穿梭于岛之间从而寻找食物。
-他们的栖息地既要冷又要温暖。
-猎人对于数量减少的报告和海冰融化时间相吻合。
需要的证据：
-的确没有足够的sea ice来让鹿在岛之间穿梭
-鹿需要迁移的时间和海冰融化的时间
-单独岛上的食物是否也在减少
-是否有其他的更重要的原因导致数量的减少。
-【王老师】more evidence about the accuracy of the hunters' reports
-     whether the hunters had scared away the deer with their guns
-     whether the hunters had visited the area in a particular point in time when the deer were less active
-     how many hunters had reported the deer population;the number was small- less reliable

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777232-1-1.html
【argument】1
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

观点：这个baskets不是palean独有的
原文证据：
-因为在和palean一河之隔的 lithos也发现了这种basket
-河很深，只能靠船来通过
-但是palean没有发现船。

可能存在的证据及其影响：
-也许这些baskets可以在水里飘起来从而运输，反驳
-也许古代的船或者桥无法保存到今天，反驳
-也许古代的时候河没有那么宽和深，反驳

【argument】2
The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

观点：
出生顺序对个体的激励水平有影响。
证据：
-猴子
-人类
-猴子第一次怀孕

其他的解释：
年长，所以更懂事一些（这点同王老师不谋而合）
【王老师】挑毛病：没有control the individual size
既然第一胎的母亲也有高水平的cortisol，也会对第一胎的孩子产生影响。

【argument】3
The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

观点：
在购物广场内滑板应当被禁止
观点证据:
购物人数减少，滑板人数急剧增多
许多商户认为原因是这个
垃圾和损坏公物的现象多

需要解决的问题：
两个人数变化的时间先后，到底谁先发生的
调查的商户范围够广吗？
是谁损坏的公物，扔的垃圾？

王老师的示范：

What are the reasons why people do not come to Central Plaza?  What are the reasons why the business decreased in Central Plaza?   
What are the causes of litter and vandalism?
Can skateboarding be effectively prohibited?
What will happen if it is prohibited.

【argument】4
The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

观点：
卖房字选adams更好
原因：
Adam的办事处多，并且Fitch有很对临时工
收入高，房子均价高
他个人的经历，卖房子块

基于的假设，及不成立后的影响：
【老师的观点】：full-time agents多就好。

But it is important to note that they also generate more revenue which means they will need to sell more homes. Therefore, the human efforts devoted to each home for sale are not necessarily greater in Adams.  But it is possible that selling a particular home requires the networking with a particular group of customers that only part-time agents with more time to spend with other people may have.

收入高，代表利润高。也许adam的之处成本也高。
均价高，代表房子的价格都高。也许只是adam卖了很多本身就很贵的房子。(同老师）
不同时间段购房需求是相同的。也许卖的快是因为那段时间购房需求大。（同老师）

zzceciliaUID：3824266

我倒很想这样，但是我作文能力很差，一篇作文要写3小时左右，而且有时候一点思路都写不出来.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

zzcecilia 发表于 2017-11-7 15:09
文科，就是准备出去上学

厉害啦，怪不得您对作文这么上心。
您如果空闲时间多的话可以一起每天挑一个题目练习写作啊，一起参照优秀的范文积累一些好的思路和表达方式。咱们也可以互相改一改。

zzceciliaUID：3824266

powerfulbean 发表于 2017-11-7 15:08
占楼

文科，就是准备出去上学

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

Issue 131 参考：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1909761-1-1.html
Claim: Researchers should not limit their investigations to only those areas in which they expect to discover something that has an immediate, practical application.
Reason: It is impossible to predict the outcome of a line of research with any certainty.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

这道题的claim感觉是完全没有问题的，但是reason有待商榷。
我的观点：
对于reason：我不同意，因为它说的太绝对了。
首先我很同意不能仅限于探索会带来立即回报的研究，一方面: 很多在未来会应用广泛的技术需要大量的前期投入。另一方面，许多不能马上带来现实应用的研究会被用于指导将会用于实际应用的研究。

Intro:
I strongly disapprove the reason that it is impossible to predict the outcome of a research with any certainty. It is inconsistent with the reality of researches. However, I agree that researches should also take part in the research which they believe that will not bring immediate and practical outcome. In fact, many popular technologies involved researches which last so many years that cannot bring practical benefits immediately, and there are also some theoretical researches which can provide instruction to other practical researches but do not bring immediately outcome once they are finished.

来自王老师的Ts1，觉得是反驳reason的很好地观点, 我在里面加上了in the foreseeable future

most researchers can predict the outcome of their research in the foreseeable future (个人认为加上foreseeable future会比较严谨）; otherwise, they may not be able to get financial support (reject the reason)
- researchers have to convince the reviewers that their research proposals are feasible and promising
- they need to justify the research goals by reviewing the literature
- they have to design the methodolgoy and discuss the anticipated results in their proposals
- most research projects with financial support will lead to some expected outcome (but the outcome may be purely theoretical; nothing practical)

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

zzcecilia 发表于 2017-11-7 14:47
谢谢PF，您对语言的理解真的很到位，我很感同身受.就是突破不了.我空间里刚刚上传了一篇北美范文，看完以 ...

您好，的确写的很地道，既然是范文我们也不能妄想一蹴而就的达到这个水平对不对？冒昧的问一下，您准备Gre的原因是什么呢？您是理工科？还是文科？

zzceciliaUID：3824266

powerfulbean 发表于 2017-11-7 12:56
我觉得这都是语言学习的过程中会出现的正常现象。如果没有思路，就可以借鉴一下范文的啊，不必太强求完全 ...

谢谢PF，您对语言的理解真的很到位，我很感同身受.就是突破不了.我空间里刚刚上传了一篇北美范文，看完以后，我更没自信了，这文章写出来我作为中国人都觉得用词相当精准地道.好多词在他的语境中看到了感觉太精确到位了，但自己写的时候又变成highly，probably，make sb to do sth，very much 等等.您可以看看，我觉得这是我见过北美范文中写的相当好的一篇了.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

zzcecilia 发表于 2017-11-6 18:14
恩，您说的很对，我也这么认为.但是英文习作水平死活不提高.首先就是写作时，很容易忘词，很多词明明觉得 ...

我觉得这都是语言学习的过程中会出现的正常现象。如果没有思路，就可以借鉴一下范文的啊，不必太强求完全原创。对于忘词，我觉得也很正常，这就要求我们在写完后要多次修改习作，看看能否找到更好的表达。

zzceciliaUID：3824266

powerfulbean 发表于 2017-11-6 14:28
Hi，首先声明一下哈，其实我的语言表达也很差，这里面可以说大部分的内容都来自寄托王浩老师的范文。这里 ...

恩，您说的很对，我也这么认为.但是英文习作水平死活不提高.首先就是写作时，很容易忘词，很多词明明觉得平时记得，可做到电脑旁写东西的时候就想不起来或者不知道该怎么用.另外就是ISSUE的思路，很多ISSUE没有思路可以写，经常是大脑空白，就算有思路又苦于不会表达.每次写都要3个多小时能写一篇.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

issue 3/35/137

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

【划重点】address the most compelling reasons and/or examples

王老师的基本构思方法：

这道题要求我们选择一个基本的立场-赞成或反对，但需要讨论能挑战自己观点的例证。其实这就要求我们在讨论了某种可能的反对意见后，再作出相应的反驳，从而巩固自己的观点。 基本思路为： I agree with tis claim because A and B. While some people may disagree because C, I think the claim is still true because C’.  

我的观点：
首先我是反对的。这里直接用开头段表明观点。
While some people believe that educational institutions should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study where they are unlikely to succeed, I strongly disagree with that statement. There are two assumptions are made implicitly: one is that students' future success can be judged merely by the educational institutions based on their performance captured by the institutions' officials which is just a small part of their whole life, the other one is that the responsibility of educational institutions is just to make students succeed. Others may argue that it is a waste of life to pursue a career that a student is not talented in (有时候成功是因为兴趣带来的持之以恒，而不仅仅是天赋 students perform better in the field they are interested in）. I will address this argument after discussing the two assumptions.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

zzcecilia 发表于 2017-11-6 12:19
PF大哥，我想请问达到您这种水平的语言表达需要学习英文多久，因为我写作经常没有内容可以，并且句式简单， ...

Hi，首先声明一下哈，其实我的语言表达也很差，这里面可以说大部分的内容都来自寄托王浩老师的范文。这里面的内容，有一些我觉得自己思路比较好的，会部分借鉴老师的表达，然后加上我自己的表达整合一下。有一些是觉得老师写的特别好，就几乎是照搬原句，总结成提纲。这里面颜色标记的，大部分都是我觉得需要我掌握的地道表达。
其实我的问题跟你一样，我觉得本质上是读和写以及复习的有些少了，所以如果想脚踏实地的练习写作的话，可以去王浩老师的6分作文教学博客里看一看（一楼的那个链接就是），经常做一些语言练习。
个人认为，语言没有捷径可走，只要找到对的方向，并持之以恒，就可以发现自己的进步。