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[主题活动] 官方范文精析系列之四-Generalists&Specialists [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-6-8 16:39:33 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 AdelineShen 于 2010-6-8 19:14 编辑

Issue官方范文精析系列:https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1075563-1-1.html

Issue test 4: Generalists vs. Specialists

"In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly over-rated. We need more generalists — people who can provide broad perspectives."

Please note: All of these sample essays are reproduced as written, although reformatted for this document. Misspellings, typos, grammatical errors, etc. have been retained from the originals.

分析提示:
Thesis Statement&Topic Sentence
个人分析说明
逻辑连接词
精彩句子或短语
例子
精彩逻辑论证

Benchmark 6
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.
首段简明扼要提出观点:call for a balance

Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media. As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase): "I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focused individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us. Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload. While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.
强调专才的作用。先用head of pharmacology的话论证专才的重要性,然后进行逻辑连贯的论证,叙述社会不能没有专才。

On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow foci in which people can lose the larger picture. No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white.(归谬论证) Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discoveries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture.
指出over specialization的危害:只关注局部而忽视整体。


Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universal issues.(用not only... but also...承上启下) Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focuses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead.(被动句,注意句式变换) Meanwhile no individual can see the holistic view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.
继续论证over specialization的危害:不能处理全局问题。

Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forced into pigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must consciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information in order not to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focused and generally poorly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.
从个人的角度指出over specialization对个人发展的危害:自我隔离,心理疾病。

Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recognizes the importance of broad-mindedness and for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.
总结指出专才和通才同等重要。

写作启示:

这篇issue的题目观点简单来说就是We need more generalists than specialists. 关于这个more的论证,imong前辈著名的[追星剑特训]中给出了很好的分析,大家可以去学习一下:https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=201072&highlight=
以下为引用imong对含有关键词more的issue题目的分析:
回来说More的问题。如果要论证they are of the same importance,其实并不复杂。以issue2为例,competition的作用当然有其beneficial和detrimental的各自方面,但是到了ultimately,如果我想要给出一个中性的评价,肯定要从各自方面对比:展示存在beneficial大于detrimental的方面,展示存在detrimental大于beneficial的方面,这些方面是society这个integrity的有机组成部分,不可少,不可互相替代,blabla…..说到底就是各自有各自用处,这种一概而论的观点是不可靠的,应该从完整的角度去看待得出equal这个结论云云。罗嗦半天实质就一句话:把contrast做足了。

人家既然提出more来了,你不可能不去对比。至于比出来是不是把more给比成equal了,人家无所谓也不管——只要比了就行。

这就是我在上文提到的:中庸无所谓,就看具体的怎么写。像刚才举的issue73的例子,一点contrast没有这种对原题来说实际上是言之无物的真正中庸了的文章肯定是要翘了,而把你的对比分析充分展现之后证明balance是正确结论,自然是论证充分的高分段作品。

而对于某些题目不打算写balance,而打算旗帜鲜明地支持某一方的文章,写起来相对更容易一些。这里面只要注意一下:如果不是一边倒而是有让步的话,注意不要让让步抢了正文的风头;如果是一边倒,那就只管去发挥好了。原则仍然是:要把contrast体现出来,把contrast做足了。


这篇官方范文就是写成balance的很好的例子,在充分体现中国人民中庸思想的同时没有失掉ETS看重的逻辑性,它不是泛泛而谈地说:专才很重要,通才也很重要,所以专才和通才一样重要。这样写是完全没有逻辑的废话,因为前面根本不存在比较,你怎么得出“专才和通才一样重要”这个比较结果的?这是中国学生AW中很容易犯的错误,是受中文习惯思维的影响,一定要克服。也就是imong所说的:把contrast做足了。

看看文章是怎么做足contrast的。先指出专才的重要性,引用了一段话,然后说没有专才怎么怎么不行。接下来就分三个方面讲over-specialization的危害。每段都或明或暗地比较了specialists和generalists,即over-specialization怎么怎么不好,只有generalists才能怎么怎么样,两个方面的比较总是存在的。这样最后一段做conclusion的时候再说没有specialists会怎么怎么样,没有generalists会怎么怎么样,两者equally important,逻辑上才是相通的,reasoning line非常清晰。

这篇文章给大家在写balance的文章上可以有很多启发。

至于语言上,这篇文章的句式变换、比喻、例子都非常生动,值得学习的地方太多了。


Reader Comment on 6
This outstanding response displays insightful analysis, meticulous development, impressive vocabulary and a mastery of the elements of effective writing. The writer disagrees with the stated opinions by arguing that specialists and generalists are both vital: specialists prevent us from becoming "bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload," while generalists provide help to see "the big picture" and, unlike specialists, protect our "greater good."

The essay is carefully constructed throughout, enabling the reader to move effortlessly from point to point as the writer examines the multi-faceted implications of the issue and provides compelling reasons and examples to support the premise and take the argument to an effective conclusion. Although other "6" responses may not be as eloquent as this essay, they nevertheless all display the test taker's ability to articulate complex ideas effectively and precisely.

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)

This is an outstanding response -- insightful, well reasoned, and highly effective in its use of language.  The introductory paragraph announces the writer's position on the issue and provides the context within which the writer will develop that position: "In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement"

The argument itself has two parts.  The first part presents a compelling case for specialization, primarily in the field of medicine.  The second part presents an equally compelling, well-organized case against overspecialization based on three main reasons:
-- logical (narrowly trained specialists often fail to understand the whole)
-- moral (usually generalists understand what is needed for "the greater good")
-- personal (specializing/pigeonholing too early can be psychologically damaging)

The argument's careful line of reasoning is further strengthened by the skillful use of expert testimony (quotation from a prominent medical researcher) and vivid metaphor (to inspect only one's toenails is to ignore the whole body).

It is not only the reasoning that distinguishes this essay.  The language is precise and often figurative ("bogged down in a Sargasso sea of information overload," "a pile of useless discoveries," and "specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts, while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field").  The reader is constantly guided through the argument by transitional phrases and ideas that help organize the essay and move the argument forward.  This is an exceptionally fine response to the topic.
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发表于 2010-6-8 16:40:45 |显示全部楼层
Benchmark 5
Specialists are not overrated today. More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.

One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field. Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalized person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.

Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithmetic. But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects. Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.

Reader Comment on 5
The essay presents a strong analysis of the complexities of the issue.
This writer's argument is rooted in two extended examples, both of which are well chosen and effective. The example in paragraph 2 begins with a discussion of the need in the medical field for general practitioners as well as specialists and moves into an example within the example (breathing problems and the need for an asthma specialist) to illustrate the point. This extension from the general to the specific also characterizes the example in paragraph 3. Overall, the essay is well-organized, in part because the writer connects ideas through the use of appropriate transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance," among others.
While the writer handles language and syntax well, several bothersome problems keep this otherwise well-argued paper out of the 6 category. The problems vary from the lack of a pronoun referent ("When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed,...he may be referred to a specialist") to an error in parallel structure ("...how it begins, progresses and specified treatments"), to loose syntax and imprecise language ("Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and...")

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)

The essay presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue by discussing the need for both the generalist and the specialist.

This writer's argument is rooted in two extended examples, both well chosen and effective.  The first (paragraph 2) begins with a discussion of the necessity for medical generalists (the general practitioner) as well as specialists and moves into an example within the example (breathing problems and the need for an asthma specialist).  This extension from the general to the specific characterizes the example in the next paragraph as well.  There, the discussion centers on education from elementary to high school, from basic arithmetic to calculus.

Smoothness of development is aided by the use of good transitions:  "but," "usually," and "for instance," among others.  The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.

While the writer handles both language and syntax well, some bothersome problems keep this otherwise well-argued response out of the 6 category.  The problems vary from the lack of a pronoun referent ("When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed, he may be referred to a specialist") to an error in parallel structure ("how it begins, progresses and specified treatments"), to loose syntax and imprecise language ("Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects")

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发表于 2010-6-8 16:43:13 |显示全部楼层
Benchmark 4
The need for generalists is undeniable but one can not underestimate the need and importance of specialists. The medical profession is a good example of an area that requires both generalists and specialists. If there were no generalists in the profession there would be no one to help patients determine when a specialist was needed. There are certain problems that a general practitioner can take care of and there are other problems that are out of his or her league. The general practitioner is the an appropriate place to start when a patient develops a problem. Many times the general practitioner is more than capable of handling problems that arise and other times he or she is unable to fully take control of the patient's care. It isn't a fault with the general practitioners. There is just too much to know for any one person to be an expert on all topics. It takes people years to become experts on a single topic, never mind being an expert on everything in the medical profession.
I am currently working in a large teaching hospital where the need for both general practitioners and specialists is obvious. When a patient is admitted to a general medicine floor, the general medicine physicians are not always able to deal with every problem the patient has without some help from the specialists. It would be unrealistic, not to mention unfair to the general practitioners, to expect the general practitioners to know everything about everything. The key is to know where everyone's knowledge and area of expertise lie and use their strengths to optimize patient care.
On the general medicine team in which I worked, the team would constantly be requesting consults from specialists. Whether it be a renal, psychiatric, orthopedic, rehabilitation, speech, gastroenterologist, or any other specialist, their input was constantly needed and used to get the patient well as quickly as possible. The list of specialists can go on longer than one would think and it is just impossible for one person to know everything about each one of them.
Although the need for generalists is apparent, it would be hard to survive without specialists, also. When a person acts as a generalist, they know little bit about everything, but certainly not a totally inclusive knowledge of everything. The specialist is there to help add the expertise and inclusive knowledge that the generalist may be lacking. The most important thing to remember with specialists and generalists is to recognize both's strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on the strengths to achieve whatever goal may be desired.

Reader Comment on 4
Overall, this is a competent response to the topic. The writer disputes the claim that "specialists are over-rated" and argues from the position that both specialists and generalists are needed. The single extended example clearly supports the premise of the argument as the writer compares the roles and responsibilities of generalists and specialists in the medical profession. By paragraph 3, however, the discussion falters, and the concluding paragraph does little more than repeat ideas presented in the first two paragraphs.
This essay displays generally adequate control over syntax and usage, and the word choice, while appropriate, lacks precision.

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)

This is an adequate response to the topic.  After a somewhat confusing attempt to define "specialists" in the introductory paragraph, the writer presents a pertinent example (the special education teacher) to illustrate the  importance of specialists.  The example dominates the essay and contributes positively to the overall score of 4.

The second example, how a committee works, is less persuasive.  However, it does seem to help clarify the writer's definition of "general" as an umbrella term meaning the total collection of what specialists know about a topic.

Although the writer's views about the relationship between "generalist" and "specialist" are unusual, they do become clear in the conclusion of the essay.  Yet, these ideas are not developed in depth or with enough logical control to earn a score higher than 4.

The writing is generally error free.  There are few problems in sentence structure, grammar, and usage, although the phrasing is at times imprecise and wordy.  Overall, this essay displays clearly adequate control of the elements of written English.

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发表于 2010-6-8 16:44:14 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 AdelineShen 于 2010-6-8 16:46 编辑

Benchmark 3
Generalists have the ideas and beliefs of what America is made of. America's wealth of knowledge can be related to the generalists of the past generations and the original leaders of our Constitution Period that helped shape our great nation. If our former leaders would have not been generalists when creating our country's Constitution in the late 1770's, American generations of would have been burdened with the constant understanding that they are doomed to failure.
The fact that our past leaders were not specialists gave the creation of the Constitution the ability to be changed through amendments passed by our represented leaders of today. The Constitution was created with the ability to adapt to the countries needs and demands in running our society as it changes over time. The generalists approach to this creation of a non-specialized Constitution shows the need for today’s generations to continue with the beliefs that a specialist would not follow.
America has learned from it's past and has done what it can to make the changes through adoption. America's greatness has been from the generalist leaders of the past, thinking for the Americans of the future. Americans with a broad perspective is what will continue to lead our great nation into the twenty-first century.

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)

This essay takes a position -- that specialists are important and necessary -- but exhibits problems with development and use of examples.

The writer's position is made clear in the first paragraph and is reinforced with the appropriate, though unoriginal, example of the brain surgeon versus the general practitioner.

Paragraph 2, with a second example of an increasingly narrow university education, contains only two sentences and is seriously undeveloped.  It does little to advance the writer's position.

Paragraph 3 offers yet another example, the most developed of all.  Unfortunately, this example is not clearly logical.  The writer tries to argue that the "specialist" country (one that is a better producer of oranges) is superior to the "generalist" country (presumably one that produces oranges as well as other products).  This generalist country, the writer tells us, would be inferior to the other.  This conclusion does not emerge logically from the writer's argument, and it seems to be at odds with everyday reality.

Although language is used with some imprecision throughout the essay, the writer's meaning is not obscured.  The main reasons for the score of 3 are the lack of sufficient development and inappropriate use of examples.


Reader Comment on 3
This response displays some competence but is flawed by imprecise use of language and limited analysis of the issue.
The writer supports the claim that generalists are preferable to specialists, offering as evidence the historical example of the generalists who created the U.S. Constitution. The example, while relevant, is not adequately developed. The middle paragraph traces the flexibility of the U.S. Constitution to the generalist orientation of 18th century leaders, but the ideas in the first paragraph are too vaguely expressed to contribute to this discussion, and the final paragraph consists of unsubstantiated generalities.
Frequent minor errors in punctuation, pronoun use, and verb tense, as well as imprecise syntax and phrasing (e.g., "Generalists have the ideas and beliefs of what America is made of. " and "...gave the creation of the Constitution the ability to...") contribute to the overall inadequacy of this response.

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发表于 2010-6-8 16:44:38 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 AdelineShen 于 2010-6-8 16:46 编辑

Benchmark 2
I disagree with the portion of the "Specialists of all kinds are highly overrated" statement. Specialists are persons who take care of certain tasks or a specific area of whatever the case may be. These persons contribute more time and effort than those with general titles. the specialists are the ones who can tell or give the client more details on what is happening to them. The generalist can only give broad ideas which can be a number of things. The specialist narrows the ideas down to the specifics. For example if one goes to a "general fractioned doctor" for pains in the chest area, he would tell the client that the problem may be heart burns, or something else that's not be so serious, depending on the symptoms. He may also refer him to a cardiologist to be sure it's not any thing else. The point I'm making is that specialist are people who can help us out even more that our generalist. Also the fact that one would go to a specialist only in dire needs.

Reader Comment on 2
The response presents a position on the issue but the development of that position is seriously flawed.
The writer begins by disagreeing with the assertion that "specialists...are highly over-rated" and then attempts to define and contrast specialists and generalists. The attempt is unsuccessful, partly because the descriptions are vague and ill-conceived.
Whereas the example of going to a "general practitioner doctor" is certainly relevant, the writer's claim that a general practitioner would tell a patient with chest pains that the problem "may be heart burns or something else that's not so serious" seems far-fetched.
The response is further weakened by poor word choice and by numerous errors in sentence structure, usage, and grammar. These problems, while not severe enough to seriously interfere with meaning, contribute to the overall rating of "2."

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)

This is a seriously flawed response to the topic.
The essay argues in favor of specialists, but neither the reasons nor the examples are persuasive.
The example of not taking "a troubled child to see a therapist who specializes in marriage problems" is both simplistic and off the mark since it differentiates between two specialists, not between a generalist and a specialist.


The sentences are so poorly formed and phrased that the argument is at times hard to follow.
Nevertheless, this is not a 1 essay: the writer presents a position on the issue, develops that position with some very weak analysis, and communicates some ideas clearly.

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发表于 2010-6-8 16:47:08 |显示全部楼层
Benchmark 1
In today's society, there are many people who feel generalist are more broad than specialists. I will discuss how there is a need for generalists in the medical field, education, and the work place.
First, I will discuss how there is a need for generalists in the medical field. A generalist in this area would be straight foward with clients. For instance, in explaining to a patient they had cancer. A specialist would use wording that you would believe everything is fine.
Second, I will discuss how there is a need for generalists in the education field. In this field some instructors use "big words" and try to out smart themselves with there own thoughts of character.
Last, I will discuss how there is a need for generalists in the workplace. In the workplace the bosses should be open with personell. For instance, instead of acting like they know everything they should be open to knew thoughts and ideas.

Reader Comment on 1
On the surface, this essay appears to present an organized discussion of the issue. In actuality, there are fundamental deficiencies in analysis and development.
The essay begins with a tautology: "...there are many people who feel generalist are more broad than specialists." Then, in the three short paragraphs that follow, the writer promises to discuss "a need for generalists" in a specific field, but none of these discussions materialize.
The rest of the essay only confirms the sense of "fundamental deficiency." Rather than analyze the issue, the writer unpersuasively vilifies specialists as people who use their power to deceive and mislead others.
Although the errors (sentence fragments, incorrect verb tenses, and awkward syntax) are persistent, language problems alone do not earn this essay a score of "1." Rather, this response fits the scoring guide criterion of showing "little evidence of the ability to develop or organize a coherent response to the topic."

Reader Commentary for Essay Response (From practice book)


This response presents a fundamentally deficient discussion of the issue.

The first sentence states the writer's position in support of specialists, but that position is not followed by a coherent argument.
Some of the ideas seem contradictory (e.g., "generalists can pinpoint a problem") and the example is confusing.
If the essay explained that the first (unsuccessful) doctor was a generalist and the second (successful) doctor was a specialist, the example would be useful.
However, as written, the example is unclear and even misleading.
The concluding statement only adds to the confusion.


Most of the sentences in the essay are short and choppy.
Thus, the ideas they try to communicate are also choppy.
The writer needs to provide transitional phrases and ideas to bring cohesion to this response.
Also, basic errors in usage and grammar are pervasive.


For all of these reasons -- lack of a coherent argument and frequency of basic writing errors -- this essay was rated a 1.

Die luft der Freiheit weht
the wind of freedom blows

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发表于 2010-6-8 23:03:59 |显示全部楼层
顶啊 认真学习 学习一下 好东东
踮起脚尖,
GRE 非抓到你不可

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发表于 2010-6-28 16:15:02 |显示全部楼层
顶~~~~

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主 魅丽星 挑战ETS奖章 GRE斩浪之魂

发表于 2010-6-28 20:39:58 |显示全部楼层
每次看到满分作文我就觉得我这辈子是不可能达到这个水准了。。
人生有些决定是大胆的,但是那并不代表这些决定是错误的。

================

科学美国人杂志PDF下载

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发表于 2010-11-21 00:33:02 |显示全部楼层
感谢分享~
不过怎么没有系列三呢?

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发表于 2010-12-11 21:44:57 |显示全部楼层
感谢分享~
不过怎么没有系列三呢?
三叶槿 发表于 2010-11-21 00:33



同问~~话说lz能提供word版或者pdf的么~?这样可以存下来好好研究啦~谢谢哦~~

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US Applicant 荣誉版主 IBT Zeal IBT Smart IBT Elegance Gemini双子座

发表于 2010-12-12 01:23:07 |显示全部楼层
这是我最喜欢的一篇范文

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发表于 2011-2-8 14:51:55 |显示全部楼层
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
签名被屏蔽

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RE: 官方范文精析系列之四-Generalists&Specialists [修改]
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