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发表于 2010-7-8 21:37:51 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 yandong1208 于 2010-7-10 22:29 编辑

第一次下决心要好好练练作文,一战作文情况不理想!十分不理想!

时间不多了!

监督自己!!

一定能成功!!!

兄弟姐妹们大家一起努力!!!!
回应

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发表于 2010-7-8 21:42:50 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 yandong1208 于 2010-7-8 21:46 编辑

7.8
Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year?



As far as we know, the ultimate goal for students who choose studying in school is to acquire the up-to-date knowledge and to get well-prepared to apply them to practical work afterwards. Some students, although, may lack of the capability of self-control thus do not pay enough attention on their study. It is not wise for school to require students attend classes for certain period of time.

The first reason why I hold this point is that, students come to school not only for academic study, but also for psychical improvement. That is to say, a student can not be deemed as a qualified graduates until he mature himself both
academically and mentally. It is undeniable that equipped oneself with the ability of self-control is a necessity in current society. No one will always watch or monitor you after you get a job, and you are the only one to promote yourself constantly. I believe no bosses in the world will in favor of a lazy and overcasual staff, even though
who is extraordinarily brilliant.


Moreover, another reason for my option is that, students sometimes can achieve much better if they can control their own time. Speaking as a student, I can not be more clear about the matters student are considering. Such as planning to stay in the library and to do some
gorgeousresearch, or gathering around with peers and holding a small scaled
seminar. However, if the school announces that students are required to attend classes for 11 months a year, which means nearly no free time for students themselves to explore the things they really enjoy in. Dropping one or two classes is no big deal, but destroying one’s interest can never be made up.


Last but not least, there is no absolute relationship between receiving better, effective education and attending more classes. The dull classes may make students fall asleep during classes or just having some day dream. It is apparently a waste of time. Why not lett student own the right to allocate their time and to choose how much time staying in classes. There is no doubt that students are intelligent enough and will not miss any worthy classes. It goes without saying that Interest is the best teacher, frankly speaking, what students work out under the leading of interest may turn out to beyond everyone's expectation.

In a word, requiring student attend classes for 11 months in a year, in order to make students get better and effective education is a groundless proposal, and will hardly work as thought. What is worse, it may lead the circumstances into an irreversible extreme, then make students lack the self-control ability or no longer interest in study.


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发表于 2010-7-9 17:26:44 |显示全部楼层
作文已批,请见群邮

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发表于 2010-7-10 16:54:14 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 layla1989 于 2010-7-10 16:56 编辑

As far as we know, the ultimate goal for students who choose studying in school is to acquire the up-to-date knowledge and to get well-prepared to apply them to practical works afterwards. Some students, although,(连词,连接两个句子。不知道此句和哪个句子形成转折关系?) may lack of(及物动词) the capability of self-control thus do not pay enough attention onto their study. It is not wise for school to require students attend classes for certain period of time.(两种用法:require sb to do 或者 require that sb (shuold ) do
k+ B1 B% ]; d8 j  f. |
The first reason
whyI hold this point is that, students come to school not only for academic study, but also for psychical improvement. That is to say, a student can not be deemed as a qualified graduates until he mature(不及物) himself both lacademically and mentally. It is undeniable that equipped oneself with the ability of self-control is a necessity in current society. No one will always watch or monitor you after you(人称代词转换的不恰当,全文最好站在同一角度描述) get a job, and you are the only one to promote(是推销自己么?晋升?感觉文意都不连贯) yourself constantly. I believe no bosses in the world will in favor of(句子结构不完整,无动词) a lazy and overcasual staff, even though who
(这里应该是另一个完整的句子,所以应该用代词heis extraordinarily brilliant.9 E& B4 h0 ]* G% m: E

Moreover, another reason for my option is that, students sometimes can achieve much better if they can control their own time. Speaking as a student, I can not be more clear about the matters student
s are considering. Such as planning to stay in the library and to do some gorgeous research(好像没有这样形容的吧~), or gathering around with peers and holding(和to do 不能构成并列结构)a small scaledseminar. However, if the school announces that students are required(结构冗杂~可以简化成require students to attend classes for 11 months a year, which means nearly no free time for students themselves to explore the things they really enjoy in. Dropping one or two classes is no big deal, but destroying one’s interest can never be made up.+ `  h/ p( ?, G5 I' p& l) N; q
Last but not least, there is no absolute relationship between receiving better, effective education and attending more classes. The dull classes may make students fall asleep during classes or just having some day dream. It is apparently a waste of time. Why not let student own the right to
(可省略)allocate their time and to choose how much time staying in classes. There is no doubt(理由不充分) that students are intelligent enough and will not miss any worthy classes. It goes without saying that Interest is the best teacher, frankly speaking, what students work out under the leading of interest may turn out to beyond everyone's expectation.(此段很多东西都建立在作者的假设上,语气不确定,说服力不足)

In a word, requiring student(to) attend classes for 11 months in a year, in order to make students get better and effective education(
位置不对,应该放在上一句的前面) is a groundless proposal, and will hardly workrequiring…不能做work的主语)
as thought. What is worse, it
(指代不明) may lead the circumstances into an irreversible extreme, then make students lack the self-control ability or no longer interest in study.
楼主的语法错误比较多,有些表达不够简练,虽然有些词用的不是很恰当,但是楼主显然用了很多不同的连词短语,值得鼓励

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发表于 2010-7-10 22:24:53 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 yandong1208 于 2010-7-10 22:28 编辑

7.10Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


a great number of teaching methods has been put forward in order to enhance the efficiency of study. Such as adding some extra worth-taking curriculums to student, increasing the interaction between students during classes, or assigning homework more frequently. As far as I am concerned, the requirement of daily homework can largely improve students' performance on many aspects.

First of all, for students, finishing daily assignments is an opportunity to review and digest the knowledge learnt during the day. Speaking as a student, I strongly believe that daily review is one of the most valuable parts of our study.Effect and efficiency achievement can only be worked out when the process of study runs smoothly and constantly. Every day homework is a suitable tool and promotion for the indispensible review during studying making the fresh knowledge become direct,and easy to understand.

Also, for teachers, checking the everyday homework give them a all-round aspect to get familiar with how progress goes with their students.For example, the speed of interpret can slow down if the teacher finds out the outcome of assignment is not satisfied enough, or spend more time to explain some specific points clearer in order to illustrate an vivid picture to the students. It is apparent that the daily homework not only benefits the students greatly, but also provides a necessary assistance to the teachers.

In addition, daily homework offers the student a chance to utilize the time more efficiently. As is known to all, parts of the student are addicted to the online games deeply. However, if they are required to finish the homework every day, there are no other choices but giving up the games and spending more time on study. Gradually, those students may get used to the life with fewer or even without playing games, and return to a healthier life style and life attitude.

In a word, the advantages of assigning daily homework are easy to see, and this method should keep for long time. Teachers can get better control of the teaching progress, while student can better absorb the knowledge and schedule their time.

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发表于 2010-7-11 09:21:09 |显示全部楼层
a(A) great number of teaching methods has been put forward in order to enhance(promote) the efficiency of study. Such as adding some extra worth-taking curriculums to student, increasing the interaction between students during classes, or assigning homework more frequently. As far as I am concerned, the requirement of daily homework can largely improve students' performance on many aspects.! D! U- _)! X4 B9 p  L3 b# a8 ?7 V; `

First of all, for students, finishing daily assignments is an opportunity to review and digest the knowledge learnt during the day. Speaking as a student, I strongly believe that daily review is one of the most valuable parts of our study. Effect(Effective) and efficiency(efficient) achievement can only be worked out when the process of study runs smoothly and constantly. Every day homework is a suitable tool and promotion for the indispensible (indispensable)review during studying making(which makes) the fresh (unsolidified) knowledge become direct, and easy to understand.

Also, for teachers, checking the everyday homework give them (a) all-round aspect(aspects) to get familiar with how progress goes with their students. For example, the speed of interpret can slow down if the teacher finds out the outcome of assignment is not satisfiedsatisfying enough, or spend more time to explain some specific points clearer in order to illustrate an vivid picture to the students. It is apparent that the daily homework not only benefits the students greatly, but also provides a necessary assistance to the teachers.

In addition, daily homework offers the student a chance to utilize the time more efficiently. As is known to all, parts of the student are addicted to the online games deeply. However, if they are required to finish the homework every day, there are no other choices but giving up the games and spending more time on study. Gradually, those students may get used to the life with fewer or even without playing games, and return to a healthier life style and life attitude.

In a word, the advantages of assigning daily homework are easy to see, and this method should keep (be kept )for long(a long) time. Teachers can get better control of the teaching progress, while student can better absorb the knowledge and schedule their time.

作者思路、结构都写得恰到好处。语法和拼写错误也在允许的范围之内。但从作者的文笔来看,显得有些青涩。希望作者多多练习写作,共同为了进军iBT奋斗!
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发表于 2010-7-11 09:23:00 |显示全部楼层
我的颜色竟然没有显示出来,囧。。。。
楼主也可参考附件

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发表于 2010-8-3 20:59:51 |显示全部楼层
8.3
09.02.27 NA: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

When seeking an ideal job, people with different backgrounds have their own standards, such as the level of salary, the quantity of vacation, or the development of future career. Frankly, every one desires a job with perfect situation, however the job cannot always fit people’s demand. For me, a job with more vacation is undoubtedly attractive, yet in the condition that the salary is acceptable.


The reason why I favor this vacation-salary combination is simple. On one hand, people work to make a living; however on the other hand, a vital part of living is to enjoy it. I will never appreciate or envy those 'hard working' people whose heads are full of making big fortune. On the contrary, people who find their true love, understand the meaning of life are highly praised in my eyes.Since I am the kind of person who deems pursuing freedom as a life style, staying in the office all day along can definitely kill me. Taking a rest when tired is indispensable in my life. Besides, travelling is one of my favourites and that is why having enough vacation is a prior condition for me when choosing a job. These two concerns lead me to the job with more vacation. However, the salary I got should at least enough to afford my routine life and some normal travel, or what I said above are all day dreaming.

From another angle, the less vacation time can hurt people's health both physically and mentally. Just imagine that sitting in front of the computer day and night, eating high-calories junk food, seldom having any sports exercises. Yes, I admit that these 'working machines' earn a lot of money, but how about their health condition? Have they ever considered the sever consequence if they keep doing so? A prevalent phenomenon causes public’s attention nowadays. An increasing number of company staff are trapped in a poor health condition, and they shoulder huge pressure beyond their tolerance. Some of them even commit suicide. This tragedy should teach the public a lesson, proper vacation and rest is a necessity for every single one, especially in this high pressure high competing age.

As a result, not only for my personal interest, but also for the health condition, I firmly stick to the more vacation and low salary job.

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发表于 2010-8-4 19:24:22 |显示全部楼层

bruce520修改

09.02.27 NA: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.: h& m/ Y. J* j5 M7 W7 h
, D- |( x6 m# H( m- [
When seeking an ideal job, people with different backgrounds have their own standards, such as the level of salary, the quantity of vacation, or the development of future career. Frankly, every one desires a job with perfect situation; however the job cannot always fit people’s demand. For me, a job with more vacation is undoubtedly attractive, yet in the condition that the salary is acceptable.8 W/ Y/ d. F8 A. ]6 C
The reason why I favor this vacation-salary [这里的表达让人怀疑,这种表达没见过哦] combination is simple. On one hand, people work to make a living; however on the other hand, a vital part of living is to enjoy it. I will never appreciate or envy those 'hard working' people whose heads are full of making big fortune. On the contrary, people who find their true love, understand the meaning of life are highly praised in my eyes.Since I am the kind of person who deems pursuing freedom as a life style, staying in the office all day along can definitely kill me. Taking a rest when tired is indispensable in my life. Besides, travelling is one of my favourites and that is why having enough vacation is a prior condition for me when choosing a job. These two concerns lead me to the job with more vacation. However, the salary I got should at least enough to afford my routine life and some normal travel, or what I said above are all day dreaming.[so many your opinions but no specific examples or detail information to support it]
8 O  E4 ~/ z7 r+ i1 t
From another angle, the [no the is a better choice ] less vacation time can hurt people's health both physically and mentally. Just imagine that sitting in front of the computer day and night, eating high-calories junk food, seldom having any sports exercises [no verb in your clause]. Yes, I admit that these 'working machines' earn a lot of money, but how about their health condition? Have they ever considered the sever [] consequence if they keep doing so? A prevalent phenomenon causes public’s attention nowadays. An increasing number of company staff [staffs] are trapped in a poor health condition, and they shoulder huge pressure beyond their tolerance. Some of them even commit suicide. This tragedy should teach the public a lesson, proper vacation and rest is a necessity for every single one, especially in this high pressure high competing age.+ C$ _& p( ?! S* q
+ g5 j8 x2 g4 F+ B2 i- x
As a result, not only for my personal interest, but also for the health condition, I firmly stick to the more vacation and low salary job.

论证过程合理,但是表达上句式再错落有致一些就好了

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发表于 2010-8-5 10:55:43 |显示全部楼层
修改如下
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发表于 2010-8-6 11:37:32 |显示全部楼层
Young children attending schools are for the purpose of learning various aspects of knowledge, such as basic calculation skills, how to appreciate art, the way to treat people with politeness and so forth. It is apparently to see that the common curriculum which chiefly concists of math, science, history and language is no longer enough for this young generation. Besides, the importance of art and music are acknowledged  by more and more schools and become main courses for students now a days.
For one thing, Learning art and music durirng early age can contribute a lot to their furture study. According to a survey conducted by an education institute, young children who have learnt art or music earlier in age are later found more talented in learning math and science etc. The analysis outcome explains this phenomenon by referring the realtionship between the training of right hemisphere of brain and the increasing learning ability of science knowledge. That is to say, the process of learning appreciating art and music is a way to practice the funcition of right hemisphere of brain of young children, and the large enhancement of the certain part of brain improves children's capacity of dealing with logic problems and in this way makes a great assistance to children's future learning in subjects such as math, science, history and so on.
Moreover, only acquiring academic knowledge can no longer satisfy people' s demand. Especially during the highly development and evolvement progress of social culture, people start to focus on improving not only the professional skills, but also the inside, such as their elegence. In my eyes, people who owns a skill in art or music, even only a little habit, always leaves others a deep impression of elegant and unique. This special personal attraction, on another hand, may largly help them being successful in their life career.

In a word, the future befiti for children's learning, the improvement for one's attraction, as well as the increasing demand of the art and  music in the society in a large way promotes the education in this filed. And this development of education system is undoubtedly do a lot of good to the young children. As a result, children should required to study art and music in addtion to traditional courses.

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发表于 2010-8-6 12:31:51 |显示全部楼层
1,拼写的错误,这个就不细说了啊~
2,第二段,句式比较单一,倒数第1,2句,句子太长,成分略显冗余,比如:...music is a way to practice the funcition of right hemisphere of brain of young children...中,of young children完全可以去掉。
3,第三段,...Especially during the highly development and evolvement progress...一句中“highly development ”highly不可以这样修饰吧。我还没细查。
4,...but also the inside, such as their elegence....这俩词用的不太好。
5...people who owns a skill in art or music,...有点chinglish
6,may largly help them being successful in their life career应该是to
7,befiti是什么?
8,....increasing demand of...这个demand感觉有点空
9 总体来说,第二段的解释写的很好(我想这样写来着写着写着走样了~),有点chinglish,出彩的句子词语不多,有些用词不够准确,
第二段有点太概括,细节有点缺乏。

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发表于 2010-8-7 20:10:52 |显示全部楼层
87日交
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Students attending university are chiefly for the purpose of acquiring various aspects of knowledge and being well-prepared for future career. Apparently, apart from learning compulsory curriculum, trying to step into the society is also an indispensable lesson for every individual during university. A good way to know more information about the real world is to take some part-time jobs. These opportunities provide people with a platform to get to know how everything is presented in the society and what students may confront in the future, including the warm affection from others, the severe critics from supervisors and the special feeling for the money earned by oneself. I used to work in the cafeteria in my university, and this experience, to some extent, taught me to adapt to the context and had a great influence on me. Serving as an waitress, I started to know how important patience is, especially when I have to make orders for others or introduce the dishes to the customers. Some of them are really tough to communicate with, nevertheless I have to performed nice and patient. After working for a whole semester, I sensed I had changed a lot. I became more easy to communicate and extraordinarily patient in doing anything. This new characteristic, undoubtedly, will benefit me largely and assist me in my future career.

Besides training me to bear a good temper, part-time jobs also improve my financial situation and reduce the burden of my family. I took two part-time jobs in year one, and at that time I can almost make a living by myself. As a freshman, I deeply feel proud of myself not asking money from my parents. My salary is divided into several parts, each to cover my accommodation, leisure activities and so forth. The part left is saved for my travelling plan during summer or winter break. Managing the money I earned tells me how precious any penny is, and forces me to make a practical budget for every semester. This experience has a profound influence on me, and cultivates me a good life habit to live economically and make plans for future life.

People may disagree with what I illustrated and state that the energy of every student should be saved to focus on study of professional knowledge, not jobs. They may also deem that taking part-time jobs will also greatly account for the time of relaxation and make students less dynamic . This opinion, however, is biased and groundless. Taking a part time seldom affected my study time when I took two part-time jobs, and my co-workers all considered that doing the part-time jobs helped them to learn to allocate their time and make their work and study much more effective and efficient than in the past. My colleagues as well as myself still rank top in our classes or even better. In addition, part-time job is an approach to relax and get away from endless study, making our lives much more colorful and meaningful.

In a word, taking part-time job will do a lot of good to the university students, not only a method for the financial support but also a good way to refresh oneself and to step into the society earlier. My friends who have done part-time jobs all appreciate the great experience and recommend other students to have a try. Fact does not lie. Taking a part-time job will make students' university lives more valuable.

绿色是自己改正的拼写错误,请猛批!=]

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发表于 2010-8-8 21:08:13 |显示全部楼层
Students attending university are chiefly for the purpose of acquiring various aspects of knowledge and being well-prepared for future career. Apparently, apart from learning compulsory curriculum, trying to step into the society is also an indispensable lesson for every individual during university. A good way to know more information about the real world is to take some part-time jobs. These opportunities provide people with a platform to get to know how everything is presented in the society and what students may confront in the future, including the warm affection(能用passion代替吗) from others, the severe critics from supervisors and the special feeling for the money earned by oneself(themselves). I used to work in the cafeteria in my university, and this experience, to some extent, taught me to adapt to the context and had a great influence on me. Serving as an waitress, I started to know how important patience is, especially when I have to make orders for others or introduce the dishes(specialities一般特色菜才需要主动介绍吧) to the(去掉) customers. Some of them are really tough to communicate with, nevertheless I have to performed nice and patient(这里应该用副词吧). After working for a whole semester, I sensed I had changed a lot. I became more easy to communicate and extraordinarily patient in doing anything. This new characteristic, undoubtedly, will benefit me largely and assist me (可以去掉)in my future career.

Besides training me to bear a good temper, part-time jobs also improve my financial situation (楼主并没有在文章中表示自己是大学生,这里直接说自己的经历是不是有一点点的偏题呢?)and reduce the burden of my family. I took two part-time jobs in year one, and at that time I can almost make a living by myself. As a freshman, I deeply feel proud of myself not asking money from my parents. My salary is divided into several parts, each to cover my accommodation, leisure activities and so forth. The part left is saved for my travelling plan during summer or winter break. Managing the money I earned tells me how precious any penny is, and forces me to make a practical budget for every semester. This experience has a profound influence on me, and cultivates me a good life habit to live economically and make plans for future life.(这段写的蛮好的)

People may disagree with what I illustrated and state that the energy of every student should be saved to focus on study of professional knowledge, not jobs. They may also deem that taking part-time jobs will also greatly account for the time of relaxation and make students less dynamic . This opinion, however, is biased and groundless. Taking a part time seldom affected my study time when I took two part-time jobs, and my co-workers all considered that doing the part-time jobs helped them to learn to allocate their time and make their work and study much more effective and efficient than in the past. My colleagues as well as myself still ranked top in our classes or even better. In addition, part-time job is an approach to relax and get away from endless study, making our lives much more colorful and meaningful.

In a word, taking a part-time job will do a lot of good to the university students, not only a method for the financial support but also a good way to refresh oneself and to step into the society earlier. My friends who have done part-time jobs all appreciate the great experience and recommend other students to have a try. Fact does not lie. Taking a part-time job will make students' university lives more valuable.

很有feel的文章,词汇量很大,鄙人膜拜中,哈哈!

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发表于 2010-8-10 12:10:49 |显示全部楼层
8月10日交 09.07.25NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

Watching movies and TV programs has become a chief way to entertain people and relax them from tedious study and work pressure. Apparently, the quality of movies and TV programs is concerned as an vital factor for the audiences, which mainly consist of the plot, the director, as well as the actors and actress. Do foreign countries make better movies or TV programs than one's own country does? The answer is hard to find out since each individual has his own judgement. However, when speaking of which one is more interesting, I tend to choose the foreign one.

Movies and TV programs made in other countries just likes a fresh air blowing in my life. I still remember the first time I saw the American TV series called 'Prison Break'. I was deeply addicted to it and kept sitting in front of the computer and watching season one, episode after episode. Then, after finishing season one, I started to wait eagerly every weekend for the new episode of season two. Many of my friends were even more into it. They went on internet and check the very process of how the series is going. Why were I and my friends so obsessed with this TV program? I think the primary reason is that, this program is the first time for most of us to get to know a brand new TV program, which bears creative plot and exciting clue. Besides, the visual shock provided by the handsome actor in the program is another ingredient. Later, this made-in-American TV programs became extraordinarily popular in China, and girls were crazy about the main actor in it.

After more and more movies and TV programs made in other countries are imported in China, the sense of fresh has fade. Nevertheless, I still considered the movies and TV series made in other countries are somewhat more interesting. These movies and programs provide us a way to know how other people, who live far away from you with a totally distinguished life style, look the world, and explore their dreams. I can always find some touching stories or some meaningful stories to encourage myself.

Moreover, there is no denying that movies and TV programs made in other countries, especially in developed countries are integrated with more advanced technology, such as special effect, three-dimensional effect and so forth. With these edge of art technology, 'Harry Potter', 'Avator', and 'Toy Story 3' etc become more fascinating and worth watching.

All in all, the effect of visual shock, the display of different life style and the advanced technology make the movies and TV programs more interesting and become the favor for great number of people.

请猛拍!=]

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