dandan的独立作文贴

dandan17UID：2812933

8.7作文Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:University students should take part-time jobs.

Faced with the contention that university students should take part-timejobs, some people make a viewpoint that universitystudents should focus on their study. I hold on the idea that besides studyingin university, taking part-time jobs is a superb choice for students to exposeto the society and undeniably it is more meaningful than playing computer gamesor shopping.

To begin with, from the part-time job,university students can accumulate valuable work experience and cultivate somesocial skills, such as communication and cooperation. For example,
when I am in school, I spend all my time with myteachers and classmates; so familiar are they to me that I know everyone's disposition.However, when I step in the society, such as worked for KFC last summer,various people from leaders to employees come to my eyes, and everyone seemsbrand-strange for me. I could not accustomed to this change at first, but Ididn't give up and try my best to communicate with others. Day by day, mysocial skills improved, and it also gave me valuable work experience which canraise my confidence in future.

Furthermore, students can better understandthe value of money and the hardship of their parents; hence, it will promotethem to devote more to their study. The situation is not isolated; it istypical of dozens I have encountered. My sister is in Germany now,although her parents have enough money to afford her to study abroad, she stilltook part-time jobs on weekends, she told me that," at first, the job wasinviting due to I can not only earn money but also learn the culture. However, afterengaging in the job, I realized that it is not easy to earn money by myself. Thisexperience was of considerable value which can stimulate me to cherish themoney parents gave me.”

However, we see both as a boon to takingpart-time jobs and as a downside which is time-consuming. If we take amount of timeon part-time jobs, more meaningful things like doing exercises, reading, andtraveling will easily be ignored. Like the saying goes:” every coin has twosides." As far as I am concerned, the campus life is the most gorgeoustime in their life. As the hours wear on, they will have few chances to absorbin studies as well as exchange views with classmates. I cannot convince myselfthat they can manage to do both fascinating communication and part-time jobs.

In conclusion, although it has shortcomingslike wasting time, all the analysis confirms that university students shouldtake part-time jobs. Because, the merits of better understanding the value oflife as well as study carry more weight than the defect.

jilinlinUID：2396929

改好了，麻烦你也帮我看看，谢谢！！
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1131066-2-1.html
11楼

dandan17UID：2812933

32# jilinlin 放心啦！我每次都帮别人改的很认真的。不过现在在练听力，所以吃晚饭再帮你改哦。

darkathrunUID：2813505

改好，请查收~

dandan17UID：2812933

为什么你们都说我写的不错。。可7.24只有fair,5555,难道是RP？还是考试的时候语法错误太多。anyway，继续努力。谢谢楼上帮我改的。

dandan17UID：2812933

8.10
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement:
Movies andTV programs made in one’s own country are always more interesting than thosemade in other countries.

Faced with the statementthat domestic movies and TV programs are always more interesting than thosemade in other countries., the vast majority of people argue that undeniablyindigenous movies are more vivid to attract public attention. However, from myprospective, although domestic movies are fascinating, it is an overstatementto claim that it is always interesting compared to those in other nations.

To begin with,some external movies are more advanced in the special effects which provideviewers with a treat for the eyes. We have to admit that a great manyfirst-class effects cannot be achieved in China such as three-dimensional technology.A movie revolution took place at the end of 2009 potentially offering as big aleap in our viewing experience as the change from black-and-white television tocolor. Avatar, which was directed by James Cameron, soon became the most ambitious3D film since it is released. The popularity of the movie is reflected in thefact that the majority of people throughout the world go after it like a flockof ducks. Therefore, as for film, high-technique created from other countrieslike a delicate decoration in house attracts people’s eyes.

Furthermore, learninglocal customs and culture from the external movies and TV programs is inviting.For example, I ever saw a movie relating to India which was full of distinctivescenes involving dancing and singing. Even though being unfamiliar with the locallanguage, I was soon addicted in the fantastic melody and fancy costumes whichabound in cultural characteristics. And it is for sure that they will notappear in domestic movies. Thus, external movies offer a vehicle for us to enjoya both visual and acoustic feast.

Admittedly, althoughcompact plots and polished performance are some essential determinant toattract people to the cinema, it is not the only explanation for the definitionof “interesting”. Some native movies are fascinating owing to realistic andmoving plots. For example, one of my favorite domestic movies is “Together”.Tchaikovsky's Concerto in D Major — the Mt.Everest of the classical violin — looms beautifully over Chen Kaige's earnestand optimistic film, Together, about a father who pursues international stardomfor his son, a shy 13-year old amateur of violin. The bittersweet experiencesof both father and son in Beijingform the basis for this quiet, smart film. So sometimes, superb packagingcannot surpass the real connotation of the movie inside.

In conclusion,even though people have a bias toward Hollywood blockbuster sometimes gets inthe way of truly concerning on the native movies, I refuse to agree with theviewpoint that movies and TV programs made in my country are always moreinteresting than those made in other countries. Every movie has its own charmdue to the reform in technology, the culture in diversity and so on. As long asa movie is attractive, it does an interesting movie under normal circumstances.

kunterUID：2687844

每次看到dandan的头像都忍不住多看几眼

dandan17UID：2812933

37# kunter 是宫崎葵啦。我没她这么漂亮。

伶女UID：2797207

个人意见水平有限啦
请查收～～～:loveliness:

dandan17UID：2812933

39# 伶女 太强了，第一次碰到全英文帮我改的人。而且改的好认真哦。
有这么几个问题
1.vehicle有手段，媒介的意思
2.superb packaging cannot surpass the real connotation of the movieinside. 这句话就是在说前面的“Some native movies are fascinating owing to realistic and moving plots.”
3. 一个段落最后也一定要回到论点上吗？
4.第三段的例子没有举对吗？我的意思就是有些电影比如陈凯歌的这部电影的情节比较感人啊，然后再说它怎么感人。


欢迎交流。


谢谢伶女了，原来特训队的时候交作业超级勤的姐姐

伶女UID：2797207

40# dandan17
我只是想试试用英文思考，也许会有帮助～～
    1.后来我查了一下，确实有的，呵呵
F# s" O4 M# S. K% k) N
3. 当然不是必须的，只不过我个人觉得你段落引申到最后的结论有些扣题不紧啦～～
2&4.我的理解是你的中心是题目的statement太overall speaking， so从两个aspect来讲其实both external&native movies都是interesting的
于是前两个论点在讲external movies是attractive的，后面一个就讲native也是的。所以第四段要将 domestic movie是interesting就要针对两点，一是interesting或者说有看头，你用了moving这个点，是可以的；二是要enhance native这个point，哪国的电影都可以感人啊，况且这部电影并不能represent中国特色，说起来我倒是觉得卧虎藏龙这种中国特色一些，恩，下回我也用用看～～～
这是我理解的你的写作思路，还是那句话，个人见解，嘿嘿:loveliness:

PS：谢谢后面的语法解析呀，貌似多年都没有看这样的资料了，语法早就一滩混乱了～～

dandan17UID：2812933

41# 伶女 你看错了吧。
我是采用2-1策略。
1.foreign movies 在特技上要好
2.foreign movies 可以learning local customs and culture
3.虽然foreigh movies的外包装好，native movies也不错，比较感人


我是这么想滴

伶女UID：2797207

42# dandan17 我只是把2-1的2看成一起，因为都是支持external的要好
而后面的那个1并不能说明native要好啊，理由我在LSS说了呢：）

guyuan0126UID：2782408

8.10作业：
dandan，不好意思，我第一次参加写作小组，刚看到分组情况，下次不会迟到了:)

Faced with the statement (illogical agreed with “the vast majority”, change to “whereas”/”although”/…) that domestic movies and TV programs are always more interesting than those made in other countries., the vast majority of people argue that undeniably indigenous movies are more vivid (good use of “vivid”) to attract public attention. However, from my prospective, although domestic movies are fascinating, it is an overstatement to claim that it is always interesting compared to those in other nations.

To begin with, some external movies are more advanced in the special effects which provide viewers with a treat for the eyes. We have to admit that a great many (of) first-class effects cannot be achieved in China (semicomma- “,”)such as (the) three-dimensional technology. A movie revolution took place at the end of 2009 potentially offering as big a leap in our viewing experience as the change from black-and-white television to color. Avatar, which was directed by James Cameron, soon became the most ambitious 3D film since it is released. The popularity of the movie is reflected in the fact that the majority of people throughout the world go after it like a flock of ducks. Therefore, as for film, high-technique created from other countries like a delicate decoration in house attracts people’s eyes.

Furthermore, learning local customs and culture from the external movies and TV programs is inviting. For example, I ever saw a movie relating to India which was full of distinctive scenes involving dancing and singing. Even though being unfamiliar with the local language, I was soon addicted in the fantastic melody and fancy costumes which abound (of) in cultural characteristics. And it is for sure that they will not appear in domestic movies. Thus, external movies offer a vehicle for us to enjoy a both visual and acoustic feast.(good metaphor)

Admittedly, although compact plots and polished performance are some essential determinant to attract people to the cinema, it is not the only explanation for the definition of “interesting”. Some native movies are fascinating owing to realistic and moving plots. For example, one of my favorite domestic movies is “Together”. Tchaikovsky's Concerto in D Major — the Mt. Everest of the classical violin — looms beautifully over Chen Kaige's earnest and optimistic film, Together, about a father who pursues international stardom for his son, a shy 13-year old amateur of violin. The bittersweet experiences of both father and son in Beijing form the basis for this quiet, smart film. So sometimes, superb packaging cannot surpass the real connotation of the movie inside.
(the above paragraph talks about the success of native movies owing to realistic and plots”, but does not include why foreign movies not having these properties. Perhaps you can extend this point to strengthen your logical reasoning.)
In conclusion, even though people have a bias toward Hollywood blockbuster sometimes gets in the way of truly concerning on the native movies, I refuse to agree with the viewpoint that movies and TV programs made in my country are always more interesting than those made in other countries. Every movie has its own charm due to the reform in technology, the culture in diversity and so on. As long as a movie is attractive, it does an interesting movie under normal circumstances.
Comments:
1.
You have a well mastery of using rhetoric and metaphors, which obviously achieved the “good” level in IBT writing.
2.
Strengthen your logic behinds. You could use articulate comparison to demonstrate your view of “advantage” or “disadvantage” in this issue.
3.
Contains trivial grammar errors. I am not sure for this point because I just challenged the GMAT writing and not quite familiar with IBT writing standard.

dandan17UID：2812933

8月12日交
09.08.01NA:
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential peopleor your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you willnever get successful in life.

In modern society, the role that geniuspeople play is increasingly considerable. Everyone expects to stand out in agroup, so the vast majority of them rack their brain to show their distinctivemerit. However, it is overstatement that we cannot succeed if we do not showour strengths and accomplishments to influential people. Since from myperspective, there are various approaches to get successful. As the sayinggoes:” All roads lead to Rome."

To begin with, people who have superbstrengths enable to create their own business instead of following others. Herecomes to a typical example, Bill Gates, who uncompromisingly dropped out of Harvard University to carve out his own businessand finally became one of the richest businessmen around the world, broke therule. What is it that urged him to set up his mind intermitting his school workin such a prestigious university which is the dream of millions of people? Itis his foresight and his creativity. He has daring and resolution to tryeverything new, and undeniably own aptitude introduced him to foundedMicrosoft, which led him onto the road to brilliance.

Furthermore, sometimes leading to success acquiresone to go through adversity and tolerate solitude, a period without any compliments.For example, Deng Yaping is a short and plain-looking table tennis player from China. Sheshowed no more talent in table tennis than ordinary people. Worse, relativelyshort height facilitates weakness be exposed to other adversaries
However, she just preserved in her lastingdream and kept practicing day and night, leaving her own sweats and tears onthe floor of the stadium without any words. Day after day, she graduallyimproved her athletic ability as to win several gold medals in Olympic Games.Therefore, people can lead a successful life by themselves without appreciationby public.

Admittedly, exposing individual strengthsand accomplishments to influential people serve as a vehicle to accelerate thespeed to success. The reason is conspicuous; we are in a high-space societywhich is full of competition and opportunities. Those who have ability todemonstrate their talents and strengths at first have more possibility toobtain more working experience. Because employers always have no time andpatience to detect one's virtue; under this case, people keep silence are lesslikely to get successful even though they posses strong points.


In conclusion, although letting influentialpeople know our strengths increases the possibility of success, we cannot claimthose who do not do it will never get successful. As I mentioned before, thereare a large amount of ways to success; people who have real ability and strongwill are able to make it equally.