dandan的独立作文贴

dandan17UID：2812933

44# guyuan0126 现在流行用英语评么。呵呵。要是考试时是good就好了。
谢谢你。

kunterUID：2687844

哦  丹丹参加过一战  那问下对综合写作有什么心得呢

dandan17UID：2812933

47# kunter 我三点都写到了还是fair，郁闷。可能细节没到位，语法错误，字数还要再长一点。

zhuminhappyroseUID：2517250

楼主，看过您的文章了~
写得真的很不错~
向楼主学习了，加油！

ArantUID：2814596

不好意思今天才有空

dandan17UID：2812933

50# Arant

谢谢。enable有能够的意思啊
第一个例子我是这么想的。一些真正有才华的人可以自己创业，不需要得到别人的赏识，也能成功。

ArantUID：2814596

呃..这就是我觉得好像不太切合,.,又不离题的原因

感觉你的意思表达的不够清晰...

我觉得可能把论点句改成Even without praise and applause from others, those geniuses having great talent and superb strengths can still achieve great success.之类的会相对来说更贴切一些吧?

dandan17UID：2812933

52# Arant 恩，明白。谢谢

dandan17UID：2812933

今天写了将近600字的文章。。郁闷。自己再txt打的时候没感觉。下次不敢了！


8月14日交
19:30-20:45
09.08.07NA

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather thandetermine their children’s future for them.
As we all known, with the government's familyplanning policy in operation, we now have a generation of "onlychild" in China.A vast majority of parents are inclined to substitute their choices andviewpoints for those from their children during adolescent period. However,from my perspective, I agree with the statement that parents should allowchildren to make choices independently instead of helping them to determinetheir future. The following are a few reasons for my position.

To begin with, making choices alone is afundamental element when one steps into the society. If a child does notcultivate a habit to make his own choices, who can he depend on in work?Colleagues and boss indeed enable to make some suggestion for him, but thissituation is entirely different from which happens with his parents. The reasonis conspicuous, parents are always so considerate and patient that they canhelp us think over one thing from every angle, therefore, we do not need toreflect on the details again. However, in the modern society, we must confronta great many thorny questions. If we do not possess the ability to make choicesindependently, we are merely able to follow others’. Day by day, ourcompetition in company would be increasingly reduced, and the severe outcome isinevitable.

Furthermore, making own choices facilitatechildren to have a fantastic leadership. Here comes to my own example, when Iwas in the elementary school, I was selected to be a monitor by chance. It didnot make me excited; in contrast, I was trapped into a dilemma. Because I oftendecided one thing with my mother’s help when I was little. Since I became themonitor, there was no sufficient time and chances for me to ask her again andagain; especially at school. However, I did not want to give up the good chanceto steer myself. I made my mind to change my habit, not only in management, butalso in study. I tried my best to solve problems by myself rather than ask myparents and teachers directly. Gradually, I found that even though some toughsituation such as quarrels between classmates in class comes, I was able tofind the most efficient way to balance at once. Thus, making own choicespromotes one to be a good leader.

Admittedly, parents have more experiencethan us. As I mentioned before, when a problem occurs, they are served to thinkof it at every point. To some degree, it diminishes possibility for us to makedetours and mistakes. For instance, when I decided to study which professionalin college, I took a prior consideration in my personal interest while myparents analyzed copious determinants for me, like job prospects of the professional,the geographical location of the college, even qualifications of professors.Undeniably, it introduced me to expose to more information which can stimulateme to make a better and more appropriate choice.

In conclusion, although parents offer ussome more secure choices due to their so-called experience, we have no reasonsto reject making choices by ourselves. Especially in today, the epoch acquiresmore and more youngsters to stand out rather than follow others' steps. Ibelieve that letting children make their own choices is a wonderful way toimprove their comprehensive quality such as leadership.

yangduotongUID：2793236

8月14日交
19:30-20:45
09.08.07NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

As we all known （换成 it s universally known that 会好点）, with the government's family planning policy in operation, we now have a generation of "only child" in China. A vast majority of parents are inclined to substitute their choices and viewpoints for those from their children during adolescent period. However, from my perspective, I agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make choices independently instead of helping them to determine their future. The following are a few reasons for my position（这句话完全可以去掉）.

To begin with, making choices alone is a fundamental element when one steps into the society. If a child does not cultivate a habit to make his own choices, who else can he depend on in work? Colleagues and boss indeed enable to make some suggestion for him, but this situation is entirely different from which (what) happens with his parents. The reason is conspicuous, parents are always so considerate and patient that they can help us think over one thing from every （different） angles, therefore, we do not need to reflect on the details again. However, in the modern society, we must (might) confront a great many thorny questions. If we do not possess the ability to make choices independently, we are merely able to follow others’. Day by day, our competition in company would be increasingly reduced (reduce dramatically), and the severe outcome is inevitable.

Furthermore, making own choices facilitate children to have a fantastic leadership. Here comes to my own example, when I was in the elementary school, I was selected to be a monitor by chance. It did not make me excited; in contrast, I was trapped into a dilemma. Because I often decided one thing with my mother’s help when I was little （去掉）. Since I became the monitor, there was no sufficient time and chances for me to ask her again and again; especially at school. However, I did not want to give up the good chance to steer myself. I made my mind to change my habit, not only in management, but also in study. I tried my best to solve problems by myself rather than ask my parents and teachers directly. Gradually, I found that even though some tough situation such as quarrels between classmates in class comes, I was able to find the most efficient way to balance at once. Thus, making own choices promotes one to be a good leader.

Admittedly, parents have more experience than us. As I mentioned before, when a problem occurs, they are served to think of it at every point （有点Chinglish）. To some degree, it diminishes possibility for us to make detours and mistakes. For instance, when I decided to study which professional in college, I took a prior consideration in my personal interest while my parents analyzed copious determinants for me, like job prospects of the professional, the geographical location of the college, even qualifications of professors. Undeniably, it introduced me to expose to more information which can stimulate me to make a better and more appropriate choice.

In conclusion, although parents offer us some more secure choices due to their so-called experience, we have no reasons to reject making choices by ourselves (将后面这句话换成we are supposed to make choices by our self). Especially in today, the epoch acquires more and more youngsters to stand out rather than follow others' steps. I believe that letting children make their own choices is a wonderful way to improve their comprehensive quality such as leadership.


总体来说结构还是清晰的 但是用词 和语法上有些错误。 特别是有点中式英文。还有多用些连词.
还有600字是G的要求 T450就差不多了 然后尽量把将句子磨一磨 还有尽量不要举自己的例子 即原文主体中不要出现第一人称的例子。

dandan17UID：2812933

55# yangduotong
恩，这次失常了，一般不会写这么长的。文章不能出现第一人称？？你记错了吧，是不能用第二人称。个人的例子可以举呀。

wangboaliheUID：2574394

As we are known, with the government's family planning policy in operation, we now have a generation of "only child" in China. A vast majority of parents are inclined to substitute their choices and viewpoints for those from(删去) their children during adolescent period. However, from my perspective, I agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make choices independently instead of helping them to determine their future. The following are a few reasons for my position.

To begin with, making choices alone is a fundamental element of human beings when one steps into the society. If a child does not cultivate a habit to make his own choices, who can he depend on in work? Colleagues and boss indeed enable to make some suggestion for him, but this situation is entirely different from what happens with his parents. The reason is conspicuous, parents are always so considerate and patient that they can help us think over one thing from every angle, therefore, we do not need to reflect on the details again. However, in the modern society, we must confront a great many thorny questions. If we do not possess the ability to make choics independently, we are merely able to follow others’. Day by day, our competition in company would be increasingly reduced, and the severe outcome is inevitable.2 a. N5 P) T$ V; u5 R) ^
9 \7 C3 b( z' @
Furthermore, making own choices facilitate children to have a fantastic leadership. Here comes to my own example, when I was in the elementary school, I was selected to be a monitor by chance. It didnot make me excited; in contrast, I was trapped into a dilemma. Because I oftendecided one thing with my mother’s help when I was little. Since I became themonitor, there was no sufficient time and chances for me to ask her again andagain; especially at school. However, I did not want to give up the good chanceto steer myself. I made my mind to change my habit, not only in management, butalso in study. I tried my best to solve problems by myself rather than ask myparents and teachers directly. Gradually, I found that even though some toughsituation such as quarrels between classmates in class comes, I was able tofind the most efficient way to balance at once. Thus, making own choicespromotes one to be a good leader.   v% {: u% E4 ~6 A! n# @3 v
' S, T2 u8 P' O, p4 G& L: N
Admittedly, parents have more experiencethan us. As I mentioned before, when a problem occurs, they are served to thinkof it at every point. To some degree, it diminishes possibility for us to makedetours and mistakes. For instance, when I decided to study which professionalin college, I took a prior consideration in my personal interest while myparents analyzed copious determinants for me, like job prospects of the professional,the geographical location of the college, even qualifications of professors.Undeniably, it introduced me to expose to more information which can stimulateme to make a better and more appropriate choice.
. x+ X( w, l- N2 n5 P9 X8 H
In conclusion, although parents offer ussome more secure choices due to their so-called experience, we have no reasons to reject making choices by ourselves. Especially in today, the epoch acquiresmore and more youngsters to stand out rather than follow others' steps. Ibelieve that letting children mak e their own choices is a wonderful way toimprove their comprehensive quality such as leadership.
写的挺好的。

dandan17UID：2812933

57# wangboalihe 晕。。。你就帮我改了一个地方还拖这么久。。。