寄托天下 寄托天下
查看: 1728|回复: 12

[活动] [进军美利坚作文组] aki0607的作文 8月5日起用此版 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
117
注册时间
2009-2-2
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-5 00:08:37 |显示全部楼层
[进军美利坚作文组] aki0607的作文 8月5日起用此版
回应

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
117
注册时间
2009-2-2
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-6 07:54:33 |显示全部楼层

8月5日作文作业by aki0607

本帖最后由 aki0607 于 2010-8-6 07:56 编辑

8月5日作文作业by aki0607
不好意思,现在才交。。。第一篇作文,大家多多指教。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

In the 21st century, part-time jobs have played a vital role in students’ life. According to the survey of China Daily, 69.3% of the college students are willing to have a part-time job when they are studying in the universities. Besides, 43.6% of the students who attend our investigation have already owned a job now. But we have to think, “Should students take part-time jobs? Will the job have a bad impact on their study?” Mr. Zhang, my headmaster in the Middle School, commented, “Jobs are just like a second class for students.” The quotation have answered the above questions: Part-time jobs of course should be taken for college students.



For starters, students can gain a lot of experiences which, in the classroom, teachers can’t teach. That’s the main reason why most of students are eager to take a part-time job out of the classroom, although they are having class at the same time. Part-time jobs just like a bridge to connect the society and textbook knowledge, which will help you to have a good preparation for your future work. Without any working experience, you would find a little difficult for you to get used to the environment of the society. Take my uncle John for example, who majors in Journalism. During his college life, he took a part-time job in the Beijing TV states for a whole year. He told us the experience working in TV states was greatly helpful and practical for his future career. As a result, he encourages us all to have a part-time job, if you guys have some spare time after your studying.

Beside, part-time jobs can help you solve your financial problems and release the financial burden of your parents. During these decades, the fee of college is really too high, nearly 10,000 per year, which means my parents have to pay nearly 60% of the year’s salary. Needless to say, it really adds the financial burden for my poor family. I believe many families have the same problems just like what my family has. In order to solve the problem, taking a part-time job is absolutely a good way. In China, there are 5% of college students come from the poor mountain area who can’t afford the enormous amount of fees, however taking a part-time job is a good help.   

The last but not the least, during your work experience, it is good for you to make a lot of friends which will help you broaden your relationship circle. In this way, you can make friends with different backgrounds and different ages. Especially, making friends with persons older than you, they will tell their career or life experience and give you some warms and advices. During my work, I met my boss John who taught me a lot. Not only did he tell me the skills about how to make my work done, but also he set good examples to me. Besides, he always encouraged us, “You are capable to do it well and you are the greatest” whenever we were feeling down about ourselves. With his encouragement, we became the most efficient team in our company. I feel so lucky to have the chance to meet my boss and he really teaches me what I couldn’t learn just sitting in the classroom.

Admittedly, taking a part-time job has some negative sides either. Some students are not able to handle taking a job and having classes at the same time. So many things waiting for them to do, they feel massed up and stressful. Because the time is really limited, students should learn to make a good plan for your precious time and become mature enough to endure the pressure. If you can’t have spare time to own a part-time job, don’t do that then. You know, the studying is the primary work for students.

In conclusion, the advantages of part-time jobs far outweigh the disadvantages. There is a famous saying, “the more working experience you have, the more excellent work you perform”. We should explore the best of the benefits to have a great development of our work and then learn to balance your study and jobs to diminish the disadvantages.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
7
寄托币
656
注册时间
2010-5-9
精华
0
帖子
12
发表于 2010-8-6 09:31:08 |显示全部楼层
太长了,你不能当成G的作来写啊

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
4
寄托币
1248
注册时间
2009-7-24
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-8 12:29:35 |显示全部楼层

贴上去没颜色了 看附件

本帖最后由 binghuoshenlong 于 2010-8-8 12:32 编辑

In the 21st century, part-time jobs have played a vital role in students’ life. According to the survey of China Daily, 69.3% of the college students are willing to have a part-time job when they are studying in the universities. Besides, 43.6% of the students who attend our investigation have already owned a job now. But we have to think, “Should students take part-time jobs? Will the job have a bad impact on their study?” Mr. Zhang, my headmaster in the Middle School, commented, “Jobs are just like a second class for students.”
(能改成大学校长吗)The quotation have answered the above questions: Part-time jobs of course should be taken for college students.


- |8 t2 ^8 q" z& k2 Y, e/ m
For starters(freshman), students can gain a lot of experiences(experiencewhich, in the classroom, teachers can’t teach. (不能教经验,不通应该写成 we can not obtain)That’s the main reason why most of students are eager to take a part-time job out of the classroom, although they are having class at the same time. Part-time jobs just like a bridge to connect t(去掉tohe society and textbook knowledge, which will help you to have a good preparation for your future work. Without any working experience, you would find
it
a little difficult for you to get used to the environment of the society. Take my uncle John for example, who majors in Journalism. During his college life, he took a part-time job in the Beijing TV states for a whole year. He told us the experience working in TV states was greatly helpful and practical for his future career. As a result, he encourages us all to have a part-time job, if you guys have some spare time after your studying.
% G4 Q& }0 Z3 ^/ {9 m; t
Beside, part-time jobs can help you solve your financial problems and release the financial burden of your parents. During these decades, the fee of college is really too high, nearly 10,000 per year, which means my parents have to pay nearly 60% of the year’s salary. Needless to say, it really
the financial burden for my poor family. I believe many families have the same problems just like what my family has. In order to solve the problem, taking a part-time job is absolutely a good way. In China, there are 5% of college students come from the poor mountain area who can’t afford the enormous amount of fees, however taking a part-time job is a good help.    , U2 p+ E+ L0 J1 I# J, n( B9 E: ^1 J# K

The last but not the least, during your work experience(去掉), it is good for you to make a lot of friends
who
will help you broaden your relationship circle. In this way, you can make friends with different backgrounds and different ages. Especially, making friends with persons older than you, they will tell their career or life experience and give you some warms (不懂什么意思)and advices. During my work, I met my boss John who taught me a lot. Not only did he tell me the skills about how to make my work done, but also he set a good example to me. Besides, he always encouraged us, “You are capable to do it well and you are the greatest” whenever we were feeling down about ourselves. With his encouragement, we became the most efficient team in our company. I feel so lucky to have the chance to meet my boss and he really teaches me what I couldn’t learn just sitting in the classroom.
+ K7 T; g' A5 h7 ]7 V& B
Admittedly, taking a part-time job has some negative sides either. Some students are not able to handle taking a job and having classes at the same time. So many things waiting for them to do, they feel massed up and stressful. Because the time is really limited, students should learn to make a good plan for your precious time and become mature enough to endure the pressure. If you can’t have spare time to own a part-time job, don’t do that then. You know, the studying is the primary work for students. 7 {4 [1 o7 T- W9 ?+ d, C

In conclusion, the advantages of part-time jobs far outweigh(合适吗) the disadvantages. There is a famous saying, “the more working experience you have, the more excellent work you perform”. We should explore the best of the benefits to have a great development of our work and then learn to balance your study and jobs to diminish the disadvantages.
总体感觉:比较啰嗦,一段话有时相同意思的事情或句子说几遍,用词比较繁琐,不够简练
          个人意见,仅供参考。
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
4
寄托币
1248
注册时间
2009-7-24
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-8 12:33:10 |显示全部楼层

使用道具 举报

wangruitong24 该用户已被删除
发表于 2010-8-9 09:19:18 |显示全部楼层
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
117
注册时间
2009-2-2
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-10 00:35:22 |显示全部楼层
求狠拍,这篇文章真是不好写。。纠结写完了。。。

8月10日作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.


Movies and TV programs, since their invention 80 years ago, have been become household necessities. Yet, they have also created considerable controversy. Some people may wonder,” Are movies and TV programs made in my country more interesting than those made in foreign countries?” In my opinion, the answer is a qualified yes: Movies and TV programs are definitely much more interesting.   

First, watching foreign movies and TV programs open a new world for me and broaden my horizon. That is because foreign movies and TV programs are more innovative than those in China. The movies of ‘Harry Potter’ which is my favorite, which I nearly spent a whole week to watch again and again, open a new world for me. Before that, I knew little about magical wizards’ world. However, after that, we learn that a wizard must gain a lot of training too in a magic school where there are lovely owls with pure white feathers and awful trees that can eat people. I never feel like that, just like soaring in the freedom of the magic world. By comparison, these characteristics are those in Chinese movies and TV programs can’t match up to.

Watching foreign movies and TV programs are a good way to access to the foreign culture. To quote what my English teacher in high school, “Foreign movies are the perfect studying materials for you to get close to the real life of the countries” which means, in the movies and TV programs of the foreign countries, you can reflect more about the native life and culture. It is from “Friends” which is a hit blusters in America that I learn a lot about the American life. Importantly, it can teach me much about how to communicate with the foreigners.  

Needless to say, foreign movies and TV programs are the best textbook for you to study a foreign language. My English teacher in New Origin, which is one of the most famous English teaching school, recommends that the best material for you to learn about American is “friends” of course. There are many native expressions worthy to learn.

In conclusion, foreign movies and TV sections are better than those from China, to broaden my horizon, be accessible to the foreign culture, and be good for learning language. So if you want to experience the life in foreign countries, movies and TV sections could make you just like in the place already.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
140
注册时间
2010-2-14
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2010-8-11 08:06:12 |显示全部楼层
Movies and TV programs, since their invention 80 years ago, have been become household necessities(学习~呵呵~). Yet, they have also created considerable controversy.(既然前面是相当多的,后面这个是不是应该用复数) Some people may wonder,” Are movies and TV programs made in my country more interesting than those made in foreign countries?”这句直接抄题目感觉不是很好,可以用whether连接啊~ In my opinion, the answer is a qualified yes: Movies and TV programs are definitely much more interesting.少定语,你支持哪一派


First, watching foreign movies and TV programs open a new world for me and broaden my horizon. That is because foreign movies and TV programs are more innovative than those in China
.
你是想支持在国外的有趣吗?那开头怎么又回答yes呢···迷茫了··
The movies of ‘Harry Potter’ which is my favorite, which连用两个which,不好I nearly spent a whole week to watch again and again, openopen的主语是电影,这个句子的主语是我,语法有错误) a new world for tome. Before that, I knew little about magical wizards’ world. However, after that, we learn that a wizard must gain a lot of training too in a magic school where there are lovely owls with pure white feathers and awful 不可以用这个形容tree吧? trees that can eat people. I never feel like that, just like soaring in the freedom of the magic world. By comparison, these characteristics are those in Chinese movies and TV programs can’t match up to.

In addition,
结构词不能少
Watching foreign movies and TV programs are a(单数复数?)
good way to access to the foreign culture. To quote what my English teacher said in high school, “Foreign movies are the perfect studying (study) materials for you to get close to the real life of the other countries” which means, in the movies and TV programs of the foreign countries.反复说有点罗嗦了 you can reflect 你怎么自己反映出外国文化?more about the native life and culture. It is from “Friends” which is a hit blusters in America that I learn a lot about the American life. Importantly, it can teach me much about how to communicate with the foreigners.


Moreover,
结构词!Needless to say, foreign movies and TV programs are the best textbook for you to study a foreign language. My English teacher in New Origin, which is one of the most famous English teaching school, recommends that the best material for you to learn about American is “friends” of course. There are many native expressions worthy to learn. 例子举得不好,和上一段基本一样
In conclusion, foreign movies and TV sections are better than those from China, to broaden my horizon, be accessible to the foreign culture, and be good for learning language. So if you want to experience the life in foreign countries, movies and TV sections could make you just like in the place already.
LZ的小错误较多,观点比较明确,但是论据和细节有点薄弱,还有就是单数复数,句子的结构语法方面有待提高,另外麻烦LZ尽快批改我的作文,谢谢!祝进步~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
117
注册时间
2009-2-2
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-12 21:48:55 |显示全部楼层
8月12日交
09.08.01NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

Success, of course, nearly everyone is pursuing for in their whole life, however belongs to just a small part of luck persons. Yet, these days, success has created a huge controversy. How can a person be a successful man or woman? Do we have to make sure that our boss or influential pay attention to our strengths and accomplishments if we want to become successful in this ultra-competitive, throat-cutting world? If not, we will never get successful for sure? And an English proverb sounds a similar note, saying “Success only belongs to the special one.” I believe this notes give us answer: We can’t be so sure that we will not be the luck one if we can’t attract the boss’s attention, however it makes sense in some cases.

To say that you will never have an access to success in your whole life, is obviously an overstatement. That’s because different people may have different definitions about success which is not uniformed. A common worker considers himself successful if he is satisfied with his work and feels happy during working in spite, without much attention. A normal teacher thinks that he successful because many children are able to gain knowledge with her help, and she didn’t want the headmasters’ attention but the students’ attention. As a result, there are no evitable connections between employer’s attention and success.

However, it really makes sense in some degrees especially in the ultra-competitive society, if we define success according to wealth, power and things like that.

For starters, with a large number things vying for the employer’s time and attention, he would ignore you if you didn’t prove that you were the capable one. Take my personal experience for example. I am a common office worker in SSI (Survey Statistic Institution) which is such a big company with about 1000 workers. I nearly never have a chance to talk to my head boss although I have work here for about 1 year. If life goes on like this way, I just keep doing the simple works every day, lead a simple life without anyone’s attention. Naturally, I can’t have a chance to be a successful woman in my career. But I don’t want to give up. As a result, I went to my boss’s office and introduced myself. That day, we talked so much about what I learn in my work and life and made a good impression on his mind. For that no, he began to pay attention to my work. Because of that, I began to work harder and proved myself in the work. Three months later, I was a team leader in our company. Consequently, we should get our boss’s attention and prove that how excellent you are. In that way, success is waving hands to you in the place not far away.      

Furthermore, it is a good way to make your manager, who is willing to assign you significant projects, to trust you. If you play a vital role in your company, projects and manager’s mind, you will be more close to success. In contrast, your boss maybe even doesn’t know you existing if you don’t prove yourself. You can’t imagine that boss gives important things to the person he doesn’t know.  
In conclusion, we can’t determine that you will never have a chance to success if you do not make sure influential people know about your strengths and accomplishments because different people may have varied opinions. However, it makes sense in some degrees. If you try to prove yourself to your boss, he might give you important things to do. If not, the boss may ignore you and have no idea about you existing. What a pity! In my opinion, we should prove our talents and intelligence to our managers if you want to be a more successful and influential person.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
3
寄托币
283
注册时间
2009-8-9
精华
0
帖子
10
发表于 2010-8-13 16:55:02 |显示全部楼层
9# aki0607 [size=14.1667px]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.
& {9 a/ N* D( K4 t$ X# F/ X
Success, of course, nearly everyone is pursuing for in their whole life(语法上可能说的过去,但是我个人觉得有点别扭), however belongs to just a small part of luck(lucky) persons. Yet, these days, success has created a huge controversy. How can a person be a successful man or woman? Do we have to make sure that our boss or influential pay attention to our strengths and accomplishments if we want to become successful in this ultra-competitive, throat-cutting world? If not, we will never get successful for sure? And an English proverb sounds a similar note, saying “Success only belongs to the special one.” I believe this notes give us answer: We can’t be so sure that we will not be the luck one if we can’t attract the boss’s attention, however it makes sense in some cases.(个人浅薄地认为,只要紫色部分就好了,而且好像不是那么有逻辑,少数人能成功就是因为他们引起了领导的注意?)

To say that you will never have an access to success in your whole life, is obviously an overstatement.(前面这句忘了加条件了吧? That’s because different people may have different definitions about success which is not uniformed.(这里的讨论很精彩!!!) A common worker considers himself successful if he is satisfied with his work and feels happy during working in spite, without much attention. A normal teacher thinks that he successful because many children are able to gain knowledge with her help, and she didn’t want the headmasters’ attention but the students’ attention. As a result, there are no evitable connections between employer’s attention and success.
& K, _' o& L; J$ E7 K% v6 b" P4 U
However, it really make}[size=14.1667px]s sense in some degrees especially in the ultra-competitive society, if we define(这些方面应该就是在成功的范畴里吧?觉得用as to the aspects of success in getting promotions...) success according to wealth, power and things like that. 8 G3 z- h;   |/ S5 J/ c$ L& C: h
[size=14.1667px]3 d9 l( k7 n* s5 `. u4 }* w
For starters, with a large number things vying for the employer’s time and attention, he would ignore you if you didn’t prove that you were the capable one. Take my personal experience for example. I am a common office worker in SSI (Survey Statistic Institution) which is such a big company with about 1000 workers. I nearly never have a chance to talk to my head boss although I have work here for about 1 year. If life goes on like this way, I just keep doing the simple works every day, lead a simple life without anyone’s attention. Naturally, I can’t have a chance to be a successful woman in my career. But I don’t want to give up. As a result, I went to my boss’s office and introduced myself. That day, we talked so much about what I learn in my work and life and made a good impression on his mind. For that no, he began to pay attention to my work. Because of that, I began to work harder and proved myself in the work. Three months later, I was a team leader in our company. Consequently, we should get our boss’s attention and prove that how excellent you are. In that way, success is waving hands to you in the place not far away.    (这里现身说法,很有说服力,赞~~)   

Furthermore, it is a good way to make your manager, who is willing to assign you significant projects, to trust you. If you play a vital role in your company, projects and manager’s mind, you will be more close to success. In contrast, your boss maybe even doesn’t know you existing if you don’t prove yourself. You can’t imagine that boss gives important things to the person he doesn’t know.  $ Y2 b6 [% a  N. Y, {
In conclusion, we can’t determine that you will never have a chance to success(用determine不如用definitely然后用被动式好吧?we can say a person who ... would definitely miss the chances to success... ) if you do not make sure influential people know about your strengths and accomplishments because different people may have varied opinions. However, it makes sense in(to??) some degrees. If you try to prove yourself to your boss, he might give you important things to do. If not, the boss may ignore you and have no idea about you existing. What a pity! In my opinion, we should prove our talents and intelligence to our managers if you want to be a more successful and influential person.(粉红色的有点重复)
[size=14.1667px]水平有限,不对的地方请多多指教
幸福就在身边,一点一滴。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
390
注册时间
2008-9-18
精华
0
帖子
48
发表于 2010-8-14 12:41:50 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 flywinding 于 2010-8-14 12:49 编辑

一起加油,好好练习!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
390
注册时间
2008-9-18
精华
0
帖子
48
发表于 2010-8-14 13:14:11 |显示全部楼层
文章写不错,像你学习~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
117
注册时间
2009-2-2
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-8-16 00:40:13 |显示全部楼层
8月14日交
09.08.07NA      Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

Nowadays, there is a tendency that more and more parents want to make choices for their children, especially in China. They consider that children are too young for them to make their own decisions even when they are already 16 years old. However, these days people also wonder, “Is it suitable for the parents to determine their future for children?” To quote what my headmaster in high school said, “Independence is what you need to learn most and what you are lack of most at the same time.” I believe the above words have answered the question: our parents should regard your darling son or daughter as an independent person and let them control their own future.

For starters, independence is the essential skill we should learn first. If we are independent on our parents excessively and even our decisions are made by them, we are just like the children who will never grow up. In the future, when we confront difficulties in your work or life and need to solve the problem immediately, we may lose the ability to make important decisions. I’ll give you a personal story to prove my point. My cousin, who is a college student now, is still reliable for his mother. What’s worse is that he doesn’t know how to wash clothes, so his mother will go to school and wash them for him twice a week. Till now, he has no idea how to do any housework and no need to say about the future plan which is also his mother made for him. In terms of his story, we find that the ability of independence should be placed in the first place in the juveniles’ development.

Besides, the future decision is the foremost thing in children’s development, and the parents don’t know which one is most suitable for them. Take my personal experience for example. Because my family is a literary family, they want me to continue family’s tradition to be a teacher. My elders have drawn the future plan as a teacher yet I am interested in marketing research. One day I left them a note saying, “ I know you are worried about me and afraid that I may get hurted. However, what I want to say is that I can’t be mature and minded unless I have the chance to explore my world. Don’t worry about me. I’d like to stick to what I love.” In the evening, there is also one note tapping on the wall, saying, “Although we all hope you can continue the family tradition career, we still support you no matter what kind of decision you make.” I was so happy that time and rushed to my mom and dad’s room giving them a big hug. The person who know your desire, your hope, your persist clearly is not your parents but yourself. Be brave to your future and control your life with your hands.

In summary, regarding that you are the person who knows you best, and independence does good for children’s growth, we juveniles should control our life with our own hands. There is a famous saying, “you will never regret the decision you make.” Maybe some years later, when I was a famous marketing researcher, I would be proud of the decision I made in my early age.

使用道具 举报

RE: [进军美利坚作文组] aki0607的作文 8月5日起用此版 [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
[进军美利坚作文组] aki0607的作文 8月5日起用此版
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1133991-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部