haoanna作文本

haoannaUID：2582245

10 5

S酱UID：2883188

31# haoanna

已改

haoannaUID：2582245

10.7
写作很没激情，要加油了。

jcf2008UID：2681015

10月7日交

09.03.21NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success

For different people hold different views due to respective angles, some people hold the success as the final goal of life, others acclaim that happiness is of greater importance, which is also my inclination. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and show evidences favoring on my consideration.(学习学习~)

The primary cause that stands by my view is that the essential purpose of achieving success is to be happy, which means the success is only a vehicle to arrive a joyous feeling. But if someone concentrates on how to be succeeded with ignorance of happy and optimistic view towards life, he/she may be tedious and is a robot rather than a human with affections. Truthfully, what we should treat our life is always being enjoyable and active on our missions regardless of the final result. This reminds me of an example of a Nobel chemistry prize’s winner of this year---Negishi. He has already been living a rough life until 75 years old now and he never keep his intelligential property right of the discovery and pour the money to his research after he wins the prize.（好长一句话~） Only by an optimistic love for science can he get the Nobel at last. At the same time, he gets large amount of joys in research. In this case gives me lots of inspirations that active and enjoyable attitude is not only our life goal but also the stimulation to keep permission when fails.

Another cause which takes concerns is optimism during the failures encourage（复数？） us to be strong. If someone asks me to exemplify this point, I merely attain a more persuaded one than Armstrong, the winner of Around France Race for seven times. Absolutely, he is never a fortunate one for his cancer. However, persistence as he is, he gains the power to conquer the disease and go through numerous failures by his strong will, optimistic attitude, his affective smile.（这句写得好啊~） Moreover, what impresses me most is his totally take enjoyments in the competitions, which implies that he stresses more on the race itself rather than becoming the winner at last. Thus, it is obvious that getting lessons from failures and gaining insistences from optimistic views is the efficient key（这搭配合适吗？） to get the success.

Last but accurately not least, a man with happiness and optimism tends to live longer. By taking advantage of a research of Sina.com, the largest portal company of Internet, we can imply that the man remains happy prolongs life. In addition, according to great quantities of senior citizens, the secret of long life is being pleasing and never getting angry, which has similar meaning to be happy and optimistic.

To make all into a nutshell, for all the reasons above which are related to each other to some extent to generate a comprehensive and thus convincing conclusion, we feel easy to say that remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success.（实质性内容应该再添加些~）
LZ写得好好啊~
看完我悲剧地发现我偏题了…… 今天写得太赶了，题都没看完……咋办啊~

jcf2008UID：2681015

很抱歉，上次作业写错了，新的我已经重发jcf2008的作文贴 [url]https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=1158172[/url]了~
能帮我改下吗？ 抱歉了~

haoannaUID：2582245

10.9

jcf2008UID：2681015

36# haoanna 谢谢haoanna的认真批改~ 真的麻烦你了~  别的不说，就祝LZ一战告捷吧~:loveliness:

roc9999UID：2610840

For Different people hold different views due to respective angles. Some people hold regard the success as the final goal of life, while others acclaim that happiness is of greater importance holds a more important role, which is also my inclination. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and show evidences favoring on (are you sure this usage?) my consideration ideas.

The primary cause that stands by my view is that the essential purpose of achieving success is to be happy, which means the success is only a vehicle to arrive pursue a joyous feeling. But if someone concentrates on how to be succeed with ignorance of happy and optimistic view towards life, he/she may be tedious and is a robot rather than a human with affections. Truthfully, what we should treat the attitude we should possess towards life is always being enjoyable and active on our missions regardless of the final result. This reminds me of an example of a Nobel chemistry prize’s winner of this year---Negishi. He has already been living a rough life until 75 years old now and he never keep his intelligential property right of the discovery and pour the money to his research after he wins the prize. (！！！) Only inspired by an optimistic love for science can he get the Nobel at last. At the same time, he gets large amount of joys in research. This case gives me lots of inspirations that active and enjoyable attitude is not only the goal of our life goal but also the stimulation motivation to keep permission hopeful when we fail. 偏题了

Another cause which takes concerns is that optimism during the failures encourages us to be strong. If someone asks me to exemplify this point, I merely attain a more persuaded one than Armstrong, the winner of Around France Race for seven times. Absolutely, he is never a fortunate one for his cancer. However, persistence as he is,
he gains the power to conquer the disease and go through numerous failures by his strong will, optimistic attitude, and his affective smile. Moreover, what impresses me most is his totally take enjoyments in the competitions, which implies that he stresses more on the race itself rather than becoming the winner at last. Thus, it is obvious that getting lessons from failures and gaining insistences from optimistic views is the efficient key to get the success.

Last but accurately not least, a man with happiness and optimism tends to live longer. By taking advantage of a research of Sina.com, the largest portal company of Internet, we can imply conclude that the man remaining happy have relatively long prolongs life. In addition, according to great quantities of senior citizens, the secret of long life is being pleasing and never getting angry, which has similar meaning to be happy and optimistic.


To make all into a nutshell别用生僻句子, In summary, for all the reasons above which are related to each other to some extent to generate a comprehensive and thus convincing conclusion, we feel easy to say that remaining happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success.

----
慎用长句子
慎用生僻句型，能简则简
注意句子结构，主+谓+宾 要齐全

err0716UID：2893957

The statement of teachers should not show their social or political views in the classrooms, which is widely discussed recently, has been drown many conclusions due to respective angles from different people. And I show strong support to this statement. In the following analysis, I would reason and show evidences favoring on my consideration.
很清晰！学习^^

For one thing, one of my primary considerations is the unpredictable effect on students' life attitudes (life attitudes是词组吗？两个名词连一起…觉得values 更好) from the teachers' words for students' everlasting respect towards teachers' comments, especially students in middle school. Obviously, for the teenagers are experiencing the period of forming their own value, they tend to be affected by other people. At the same time, the teacher is repeating individual's（去掉’s） view about politic or society, which can be recognized as an action to force students stand by him/her. Hardly can these teenagers escape from the influences from (of) the words. What’s worse, a quantity of students even treat (treats, a quantity of 后面用单数) these views as their inclination, which is built by their own thoughts. However, as a saying goes” you can not walk far in others' shoes”, blank of building
one’s own value system may be a barrier in their (his/her) future.(不知恰当否，但own前面觉得应该加one’s)

In addition, another fact, which should be paid great concerns, is the responsibility of instructors is helping students to read objects or events by own perspectives rather than pouring them views to accept. Absolutely, this reminds me my history teacher in middle school to exemplify this point. My history teacher, who had never commented on history events, only stated the history (historical) events to us and encouraged us to tell our attitudes. Moreover, he taught us to investigate history in an objective angle regardless of our affections. Undoubtedly, what I learned in his class really instruct me to have my personal thoughts and take neutral angles when viewing things. Only by teachers' reasonable instructions can students form life value and make standards to distinguish.

Last but obviously not least, stating teachers' own views about social or politic things on class may result in partiality towards different students by the distinction of whether a student hold similar views. Unchangeable as human's nature to get more close relation to those who shares congruity with himself/herself, teachers may show unconscious appreciation to students who hold same idea. Consequently, this phenomenon attributes to the privileges in group of students as well as definitions of students' different statues, which is unacceptable to students' growths both mentally and physically.

To make all into a nutshell, for the reasons above which is related to each other to some extent to generate an apprehensive and thus convincing conclusion学习^^ that teachers should not show own views on society and politic for(as) the consideration of(for,为……着想) students' healthy mature psychologically and physically.

1、
LZ功底真好~值得学习的地方很多，看好你^^, 有些地方我不大确定，多见谅


2、
有些小地方的用法请多注意~~

haoannaUID：2582245

10.12 写太慢了啊。。

灰色精英UID：2664078

09.03.07NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.

The statement of teachers should not show their social or political views in the classrooms, which is widely discussed recently, has been drown many conclusions due to respective angles from different people. And I show strong support to this statement. In the following analysis, I would reason and show evidences favoring on my consideration.

For one thing, one of my primary consideration is the unpredictable effect on students' life attitudes from the teachers’' words for students' everlasting respect towards teachers' comments, especially students in middle school. Obviously, for the teenagers who are experiencing the period of forming their own value, they tend to be affected by other people. At same time, the teacher is repeating individual's view about politic or society, which can be recognized as an action to force students stand by him/her. Hardly can these teenagers escape from the influences from the words. What’s worse, a quantity of students even treat these views as their inclination, which is built by own thoughts. However, as a saying goes” you can not walk far in others' shoes”, blank of building own value system may be a barrier in their future.

In addition, another fact, which should be paid great concerns, is the responsibility of instructors is helping students (to) understand(read 不太好) objects or events by own perspectives rather than pouring them views to accept. Absolutely, this reminds me my history teacher in middle school to exemplify this point. My history teacher, who had never commented on history events, only stated the history events to us and encouraged us to tell our attitudes. Moreover, he taught us to investigate history in a objective angle regardless of our affections. Undoubtedly, what I learned in his class really instruct me to have my personal thoughts and take neutral angles when viewing things. Only by teachers' reasonable instructions can students form life value and make standards to distinguish.（不懂，是分辨对错的意思吗）

Last but obviously not least, stating teachers' own views about social or politic things on class may result in partiality towards different students by the distinction of whether a student hold similar views. Unchangeable as human's nature to get more close relation to who shares congruity with himself/herself, teachers may show unconscious appreciation to students who hold same idea. Consequently, this phenomenon attributes to the privileges in group of students as well as definitions of students' different statues, which is unacceptable to students' growths both mentally and physically.

To make all into a nutshell, for the reasons above which is related to each other to some extent to generate an apprehensive and thus convincing conclusion that teachers should not show own views on society and politic for the consideration of students' healthy mature（growth） psychologically and physically.

1语言很好结构清晰
2观点不太鲜明，而且有一种重复的感觉。如第一段，不如直接说showing views will destroy the chance that the students make their own choice. 因为你的unpredictable influence 只讲了这个。第三个观点也算unpredictable influence 吧。

haoannaUID：2582245

1.6 独立写了 题目没看懂 限时作文到一半发现自己悲剧偏题了