[作文] 师走的作文帖~ [复制链接]

猪猪快跑
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发表于 2010-12-2 15:54:53 |只看该作者

13# 师走99
tpo6的综合写作音频去TPO博客找还是给你一个链接吧http://toeflblog.net/archives/231

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madfrog4227
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发表于 2010-12-2 18:50:05 |只看该作者

10# 师走99

Advertisements are so essential for promoting products that enterprises of all kinds put on ads through variety medias, like television, newspaper and the Internet. Therefore, ads show lots of information that has not been evaluated(我没有读懂这句话要表达什么意思). However, it is still questionable to state that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
It is confessed that some corporations promote their goods by fair means or foul, that is putting false or exaggerated data to ads, such as unhealthy eating habits. Then once people take in the information of false(false information) ads and do (去掉as) what the ads (加个have)told, they will likely be harmed, physically or financially(做插入语的话建议提到they之前). However, these are just the minority, the majority enterprises, in turn, always encourage people to follow good eating habits, which will surely benefit people. In this way, advertising not only show improper news, but also proper one(在英语里面，not only和but also之间一定要是递进关系，不能是转折关系). As a result, it is unfair to say ads should take main responsibility of people’s bad eating habits.
Besides, there is also a point of taking the ads’ advices or not(我觉得这句话太中文化了). Actually the forming of unhealthy eating habits mostly depends on people’s own living customs. If one(people) would like to live a healthy life, one(they) will definitely chose not to take ads’ advices, but(应该是and吧) to look for information that is proved to have science basis(proved by science). Those who care less about living quality are also not likely to follow the ads. In this sense, the influences of ads on people’s eating habits are relatively rare. The statement that advertising is the main cause doesn’t make sense.
After all, Advertising is a double edged sword, it provides true news and as well as false news. It depends on a person himself to choose what kind of life to live, a healthy one, or not paying attention to healthy. Similarly(similarily), alternatives on eating habits also vary from one person to another. Advertising can not be blamed for full responsibility.
个人观点：我觉得你写文章时候好像是在逐字逐句的翻译，所以就显得很中文化，如果离考试的时间还远的话建议在这上面下一下功夫，可以下一些新东方的课程看一下。个人意见，仅供参考哈！

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猪猪快跑
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18楼

发表于 2010-12-3 08:33:43 |只看该作者

14# 师走99
每个人都会有chinglish的现象啊，这是正常的嘛，谁叫我们是Chinese呢，哈哈~~不过想尽力缩小这个差异的话，我觉得现在最快的办法就是，当你在组织一句话的时候，尽量不要跟随你的中文意思走，多想想类似意思的英语短语来做paraphrase替换和改写。加油！！↖(^ω^)↗

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