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[材料准备] 中国学生写申请作文的常见弊病 [复制链接]

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Economist

发表于 2011-11-20 15:24:31 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 dyiwang 于 2011-11-20 15:34 编辑

在这里和大家分享一下,希望能对大家有帮助。由于时间关系,还没有翻译成中文,但是在这个板块上应该不是问题。祝大家申请成功。

Mistakes Chinese Students Make When Writing Personal Statements

1. Being too Colloquial. One of the things schools will do with your personal statement is determine how good you are with English. One way to demonstrate fluency in English is to be colloquial, or casual. However, personal statements are one of the areas in  English writing where one should be formal. Being too informal demonstrates that you are not proficient with how to use English in the right context.


2. Being too flowery.  Another way that Chinese students will try to demonstrate fluency in English is by using very poetic language. This is not effective, as it also demonstrates that you are not proficient with how to use English in the right context. If what you say reads like it would be better in a poem about beauty, it should not be in a personal statement.


3. Focusing too much on credentials. Schools care a lot about your credentials. An application has multiple questions that are designed to find out what your credentials are.Things like where you work, what grades you received in school, and how you performed on tests are best explained in those questions. The personal statement is where you show the school how you are more than those credentials.If everything you have to say about a topic is on your resume, leave it out of the personal statement.


4. Making statements that are unbelievable. Schools want to see that you are interested in devoting the next few years of your life to a specific field. But they will not believe you when you say that it was your dream as a little child to work in this field. Most children would rather be a superhero or an astronaut than an economist. Unless you really met a Nobel Prize winner at the age of 8 and from then on devoted yourself to a life of Economics, you should not tell stories about your career goals before you started your Bachelor’s program.


5. Not focusing on what makes them unique. American schools receive thousands of applications from Chinese students, most of them with great grades and scores. While the schools care about credentials, they also care about diversity. They will only accept a certain number of Chinese students because they also want other nationalities.Because of this, you need to show why you are unique.


6. Telling too many uninteresting or unrelated facts. While it’s important to show that you are unique, you need to do so in a way that is coherent. Many students write a paragraph full of little facts about themselves, such as they enjoy basketball,or like to read poetry. Unless these facts say something important about you,do not put them in the personal statement. Many applications have questions that ask about hobbies and interests; put these facts there.
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已有 12 人评分寄托币 声望 收起 理由
whiskyuibe + 1 精华!
Romanza + 10 + 5 中肯~!
Belial_dqgQ + 1 这就是福利啊
rooneysu + 1 说得很对
fqfr + 1
victor7 + 5 + 4 多谢分享~~
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发表于 2011-11-20 22:01:11 |显示全部楼层
dyiwang真是有风度,得向你学习。
做有缘事,不问何去何从。

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发表于 2011-11-27 14:13:26 |显示全部楼层
dyiwang真是有风度,得向你学习。
WildSwanAtCoole 发表于 2011-11-20 22:01

没啥。反正过来玩,能为大家提供些有用的信息就提供。举手之劳而已。

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Economist

发表于 2013-10-9 12:28:24 |显示全部楼层
认为这个帖子现在非常有必要顶起来。
已有 1 人评分寄托币 声望 收起 理由
MaxFeburarybird + 5 + 2 是滴

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US-applicant

发表于 2013-10-9 23:43:45 |显示全部楼层
技术贴是要顶起来的

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Economist 荣誉版主

发表于 2013-10-10 03:54:34 |显示全部楼层
这么好的帖子怎能不回复~!

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US-applicant

发表于 2013-10-19 19:35:50 |显示全部楼层
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US-applicant

发表于 2013-10-20 13:05:24 |显示全部楼层
好贴

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加拿大offer勋章 香港offer勋章 新加坡offer勋章 美国offer勋章 欧洲offer勋章 澳洲fall勋章 梦舞槿樱 英国offerl勋章

发表于 2013-10-25 11:27:30 |显示全部楼层
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Economist

发表于 2013-11-3 08:30:37 |显示全部楼层
我希望大家也可以吧自己写PS的一些心得,或者需要避免的地方分享在这里。

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Economist

发表于 2014-7-23 09:27:09 |显示全部楼层
这个也应该顶起来了。

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发表于 2014-8-3 23:32:47 |显示全部楼层
好贴,学习中

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发表于 2014-8-7 18:47:09 |显示全部楼层
LZ。。我想问下在PS里面大写特写自己做过的几个科研项目(还带点专业术语,比如时间序列分析的模型)。。然后对未来想做的方向几乎没有怎么提到,只是提了想继续读PHD,想做研究,这个问题大吗。。。master申请。

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发表于 2014-8-7 21:29:15 |显示全部楼层
weeeek. 发表于 2014-8-7 05:47
LZ。。我想问下在PS里面大写特写自己做过的几个科研项目(还带点专业术语,比如时间序列分析的模型)。。然 ...

你这个问题比较具体.什么事儿都要掌握度,没看过你的初稿我也不能乱说.

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发表于 2014-10-11 22:13:06 |显示全部楼层
顶!

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RE: 中国学生写申请作文的常见弊病 [修改]
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