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更新:关于PS修改的若干意见(求各位的Personal Statement用作研究数据) [复制链接]

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荣誉版主 Cancer巨蟹座 一帆枫顺

发表于 2011-12-21 01:29:15 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 ask1988627 于 2012-1-4 12:50 编辑

(新年更新)楼主病好了,感谢各位问候的网友,这里总结下我修改PS后的一些想法,为大家修改PS提供个general的guideline (继续欢迎各位把PS发给我做研究数据~ps.research.uvic@gmail.com只是我开学了,已经没有时间帮大家改了,谢谢支持!!!!)

到目前我一共改了大概15万字150篇左右的PS,总结起来以下3点是中国学生PS写作中常犯的错误 (就事论事,我例子中谈到的如果和某位让我修改过的PS相关,先抱歉了)。

1. 字数:不知谁盛传出来的PS字数一定要够如何如何,我收到的PS超过90%都在1000字以上。虽然很多学校对PS字数没要求,但我个人建议600-800字左右。因为对于很多非常火爆的专业,申请人超级多,相信每个申请人的材料教授不会看超过30分钟的(盛传某些学校PS就看1分钟),这种情况下,你PS字数多,重点就不突出,反而害了自己。很多人觉得可以靠PS来体现自己的英文水平,其实这个很片面,因为对于北美的学校来说Writing Sample才是用来看研究能力和学术写作的。因此,PS还是最好压缩,然后突出重点为好。

2. PS的重点:PS有很多种英文叫法,“Personal Statement”, “Statement of Interests”, “Motivation Letter”等等。但大致说来,对于不同种类的Program,PS的论述重点应该为:
a. Research Program (北美的研究专业的MA,PHD,英系的Mphil,PHD) 研究兴趣,研究方向,未来研究课题等
b. Professional Program (专业类硕士,如北美MEd,香港某些MA by Taught 如法律,会计,MBA) 职业(实习)经历,为何要继续professional study,未来职业规划等。。
c. Taught Academic Program (英系很多MA by Taught 如 linguistics,chemistry等,适合转专业,但本身还很偏学术) 对学科的兴趣和学习目的等
但总之一点,文中大篇幅谈论个人性格如何如何优秀绝不明智,这类的话大家都会说,而且可信度值得怀疑,没办法突出你个人的优势。

3. 论据:论点需要论据的支持,这是学术写作的基本.很多同学的PS会写如“I am an outstanding student with an enthusiasm in XXX” 之类的论点 (claim),但接下来就没了,缺乏具体事实 (evidence)来支持这个论点。这样的结构在Admission Committe看来就是不成功的表述。

大概就是这些了,随着我研究跟进将来会进一步update,还是欢迎各位把PS发到我邮箱 (ps.research.uvic@gmail.com)来支持我的研究。楼主开学了,所以改不了了。(苦命)



之前的更新:楼主已经累倒,所以修改活动暂停,但楼主十分欢迎有兴趣的版友把PS发过来支持楼主的研究,最后thesis出来我会免费放到网上来的。。。
连续一周每天改十几个小时的PS,身体有些受不了了,不好意思各位。。。




有段时间没来寄托的说,感觉今年的申请也是好火爆。。。
书归正题,本人正在苦逼的读MA-Applied Linguistics中,很悲催的下学期就要开始最后thesis的准备了。看来看去,我决定选择研究中国学生的PS的写作模式~~~(造福广大版友~)
所以呢,现在我需要比较多的PS来作为研究数据。因此我提出这样一个offer,你把PS发给我,我为你提供免费的PS修改和评价,作为交换你的PS会成为我数据库的一部分 不知各位有兴趣否?
有兴趣的同学可以把PS发到:

ps.research.uvic@gmail.com

谢谢各位支持,另外祝各位申请顺利:)


附带下说明,我是研究genre的,我修改主要是针对内容的。我会给结构建议,比如那部分比较不合适,哪部分需要扩充。语法会顺手改下,但不是重点~

最新补充:1. 我尽量快速,现在已经是假期在加班加点的修改,但收到的PS太多,速度请大家见谅。
2. 有些同学问到我privacy的问题,我以人品保证相关信息绝对不会流传到网上,我是用来建立文本数据库分析中国学生写作特点的,personal information在建立过程中会被删掉。另外如果真出事,我们学校ethic committee不会放过我的~

学校Approved 的consent form中的相关解释:

A Genre Analysis of Statement of research interests by Chinese ESL students

You are invited to participate in a study entitled “A Genre Analysis of Statement of research interests by Chinese ESL students” that is being conducted by Sibo Chen.

Sibo Chen is a GRADUATE STUDENT in the department of Linguistics at the University of Victoria and you may contact HIM if you have further questions by e-mail: sibo.noah.chen@gmail.com.

As a GRADUATE student, I am required to conduct research as part of the requirements for a degree in Applied Linguistics. It is being conducted under the supervision of Dr. Li-Shih Huang. You may contact my supervisor at 250-472-4665.

Purpose and Objectives
The purpose of this research project is to examine the linguistic features and writing styles of statements of research interests written by Chinese-speaking, graduate-level, EAL (English as an Additional Language) students.

Importance of this Research
The research has significant pedagogical implications. The results of it can provide EAL teachers a better understanding of the linguistics features and writing styles of the statement of research interests.

Participants Selection
You are being asked to participate in this study because you are Chinese-speaking graduate student who are current studying in an English-speaking university.

What is involved
If you agree to voluntarily participate in this research, your participation will include providing your statements\ written for graduate school applications.

Inconvenience
There are no known or anticipated inconveniences to you by participating in this research.

Risks
There are no known or anticipated risks to you by participating in this research.  

Benefits
The potential benefits of your participation in this research include improving your understanding of your own academic writing; helping to advance the study of ESL writing. Also, I will provide feedback on your writing sample to benefit your writing skills.

Voluntary Participation
Your participation in this research must be completely voluntary. If you do decide to participate, you may withdraw at any time without any consequences or any explanation. If you do withdraw from the study your data will be deleted from the researcher’s computer right away.

Anonymity
In terms of protecting your anonymity, all participants’ ids will be removed during data analysis, and their names will be replaced with pseudonyms in the research report. ALSO, ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION APPEARING IN THE COLLECTED WRITING SAMPLES WILL BE DELETED BEFORE ANALYSIS.

Confidentiality
Your confidentiality and the confidentiality of the data will be protected by a password only known by the researcher.

Dissemination of Results
It is anticipated that the results of this study will be shared with others in the following ways: 1. Presentation at scholar meetings; 2. Publication of journal paper. 3. M. A. Thesis

Disposal of Data
Data from this study will be disposed 2 years after completion of the study. The data will be deleted completely from the researcher’s computer.  THE RESULTS OF THE ANALYSIS WILL BE DISSEMINATED VIA THE INTERNET AS ALL UVIC THESES ARE PUBLISHED ON D-SPACE.

Contacts
Individuals that may be contacted regarding this study include the researcher (e-mail: ps.research.uvic@gmail.com).

In addition, you may verify the ethical approval of this study, or raise any concerns you might have, by contacting the Human Research Ethics Office at the University of Victoria (250-472-4545 or ethics@uvic.ca).

By completing and submitting the questionnaire, YOUR FREE AND INFORMED CONSENT IS IMPLIED and indicates that you understand the above conditions of participation in this study and that you have had the opportunity to have your questions answered by the researchers.
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行走的太快,忽略了身边很多的朋友;话说的太多,却忘了自己究竟想要表达什么。
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荣誉版主 Cancer巨蟹座 一帆枫顺

发表于 2011-12-21 01:32:38 |显示全部楼层
美版的版大帮忙置下顶,拜谢~
行走的太快,忽略了身边很多的朋友;话说的太多,却忘了自己究竟想要表达什么。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 美版版主 商学院 Libra天秤座 在任资深版主 GRE斩浪之魂 US Advisor US Assistant US Applicant

发表于 2011-12-21 01:34:06 |显示全部楼层
我可以高亮
LIFE IS a MIXTURE of CHARACTER AND LUCK.
It takes courage to lead a life. Any life.

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荣誉版主 Cancer巨蟹座 一帆枫顺

发表于 2011-12-21 06:07:22 |显示全部楼层
3# 笑看红尘
谢谢了~
行走的太快,忽略了身边很多的朋友;话说的太多,却忘了自己究竟想要表达什么。

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发表于 2011-12-21 10:23:19 |显示全部楼层
太感谢了~~~已经发到你的邮箱了哦!~~~
坚持!!!好运!!!
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发表于 2011-12-21 10:24:04 |显示全部楼层
太感谢了~~~已经发到你的邮箱了哦!~~~
坚持!!!好运!!!
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发表于 2011-12-21 21:59:51 |显示全部楼层
感谢!我刚刚发到你邮箱了~麻烦啦

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发表于 2011-12-22 11:24:27 |显示全部楼层
太好啦~~我刚发到你邮箱里了~~非常感谢~~
希望一切如愿,顺利团聚!!

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发表于 2011-12-22 15:01:12 |显示全部楼层
LZ回复还是很迅速的~~~提了的意见也很中肯哈!!!
顶一个!
12Fall psyapply:18PHD+1MS rej:12 ad:1 pending:5+1

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发表于 2011-12-22 17:09:58 |显示全部楼层
回复好快~每一段都提出了修改意见~感谢感谢!大家也别犹豫啦 快发过去吧~

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发表于 2011-12-23 13:06:15 |显示全部楼层
收到了!很快啊!谢谢哇~
LZ提的意见都收下了!辛苦了!
抓紧最后时间再改改~

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发表于 2011-12-23 13:07:03 |显示全部楼层
收到了!很快啊!谢谢哇~
LZ提的意见都收下了!辛苦了!
抓紧最后时间再改改~

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发表于 2011-12-23 14:39:12 |显示全部楼层
谢谢!收到了!回复很快啊!
LZ的意见收下了!抓紧再改!

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发表于 2011-12-23 16:38:58 |显示全部楼层
楼主的回复很快呢~~我会好好看你的意见,然后继续修改!!
非常感谢~~
希望一切如愿,顺利团聚!!

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发表于 2011-12-23 17:06:45 |显示全部楼层
谢谢Noah , 回复很快,而且每段都给出了意见。辛苦lz。
   弱问下根据你的意见修改后还可以再给你修改下吗?
Like seasons in the sun ~

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RE: 更新:关于PS修改的若干意见(求各位的Personal Statement用作研究数据) [修改]
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更新:关于PS修改的若干意见(求各位的Personal Statement用作研究数据)
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