*Romanus的作文修改铺*修改timicao

mpromanusUID：2565872

Do you agree or disagree:the communication skill is the most importanat factor contributing to one's success

Through taliking with employers we get our first jobs; by having a conversation with the elders ('older' is not a noun in itself, and 'old' is a physical term that's generally regarded as negative when used to refer to senior citizens. Use the more politically correct 'the elders/the elderly'.) we gain some insightful  knowledge about studies, careers and life as well; thanks to communcation between political leaders, we enjoy a peaceful and flourishing life. Therefore, in this modern society, communication has played a crucial role in our daily life, which can promote understanding, enhance progress and strengthen peace. So many people may claim that to have outstanding communication skills is (if you use 'skills', then you must follow with plurals.) the most important ability contributing to our success. Remarkable though it is, there are still exist many skills and feats which are essential to one's success. (So do you mean to disagree with the given statement? The question specifically asks for 'agree or disagree', so please answer that clearly if you can. If you do not, chances are you'll be slightly led off, as you don't have a clear and firm idea about what your main point really is.)

Undisputablely, equipping ourselves? with a good communication skills (This is often used in the plural as a generic term. It's rather awkward to say 'a communication skill', because communication is a complex process that may manifest in very different forms and involve many different skills. 下面类似的地方就不重复改了。。) can surly bring us considerately? (do you mean 'considerable'?) benefits and then bring us more closer to our success. First, a excellent communciation skill can ensure you a good career. A typical example involves a job interview. You may firstly impress you future boss via your impressive capacity of perfectly responding to their questions and then you get a job which is the first step towards your success. Meanwhile, the ability to continue a discussion can provide us numerous information ('information' is uncountable, so you don't usually say it's 'numerous'. A simple 'much' will do.) which may be vital to us. For instance, a good skill of communication can help us get some useful messages from our theachers, senior students and colleagues. If your have not the ability to go on with a smooth conversation, how can they provide you what you desire to know? (They can write you lengthy emails, draw diagrams on a blackboard, demonstrate an experiment to you in a lab, or simply ask you to ask someone else..there are so many forms of communication between human beings. You seem to be very stuck on the idea that communication==talking.) Last but not the least, some exchanges have a significant meanings. If you are lacking of the ability to communicate well, how can you handle it smoothly and make some huge fruit (Now this seems to be a direct translation of 取得重大成果..no, you don't say things like that in English. Try 'reap benefits'.). Such as the talk between two political leaders (This is not a complete sentence). In this situation, a good communication skill means solving problems, promotes cooperation and advances development, all of which play a pushing role (..try 'boosting role'.) in each nation's further development. After bringing so many benefits to his/her country, then s/he (Who? Pronouns must have a definite referent – you were talking about 'TWO political leaders', not one, so I won't know who a single he/she refers to.) must be considered a successful leader. While a poor communication skill can cause totally difference on that condition (Now this is complete gibberish. Maybe you meant to say '..can result in a completely different condition'?), such as misundestanding, conflict and even war. (Right. You opened the essay saying there are other important things, then spent a whole paragraph saying good communication skills are very important – this is not a natural way to organize essays. If you mean to say 'I'd first discuss the importance communication skills, then talk about why other things are important', say it clearly in your opening paragraph, so your readers know what to expect. With your current opening, I'd expect you to talk about good communication skills very briefly, then discuss other important factors at length. You're doing it the other way round.)

Although communication skill is profund (This means 'intellectually deep, seriously affecting, and having far-reaching results', and is usually associated with ideas, thoughts, emotions, effects of important events – not 'skills' in general. It does not mean 'important' or 'crucial'.) to one's success, we cannot overlook a series of other personalities which cannot be obviated (This means 'to avoid/remove a trouble, negative effect or inconvenience', and I don't really think you'd call honesty, etc. inconveniences. Big words are pretty, but make sure you know exactly how they should be used because many of them have very specific meanings.), such as honesty, patience and confidence, etc. Success is a process which needs to be abained? (This word is not in the Oxford English Dictionary, the most complete dictionary of English..do you mean 'obtain'?) step by step, so many characteristics may be involved to make their contributions. Embrancing honesty, we can win trust and then build some strong relationships, who? (If this refers to 'relationships' in the previous sentence, it should be 'which'; if you mean to use 'relationships' to mean 'people you have relationships with', then you don't 'build' them..) can give us help along our way to accomplishment. Always being patient, can provide your a careful mind (I don't see why being patient will help in being careful. They are completely different qualities..you can be very patient in putting up with a crying baby but always unmindful about warming up his milk to the right temperature, or you can be very impatient with people borrowing money from you and very careful with your own accounts of money. Your language is getting too vague to have solid logical connections.) and then ensure you avoid some unnecessary obstacles. Also confidence is the indispensible component of success. And it can make you always stay optimistic and hopeful. (I don't mean to be harsh but this whole paragraph has almost nothing solid. And the big problem is that I still don't see why having good communication skills is the MOST important factor, compared to honesty, patience, confidence, blah. The question is asking for a comparison, NOT just a description of factors contributing to success.)

All in all, I consent that good communication skill can make a tremendous contribution to one's success, but we also need to keep in mind that only a good communication skill alone cannot lead to final success and other elegant? (Why 'elegant'? You didn't mention anything about these personalities being 'elegant' in the body of your essay.) personalities also have a share.

总结：

词汇 - 拼字看得我是大风天直冒汗。。请特别注意发音相近拼写不同的情况。。还有can的否定形式是cannot，不是can not..

语法 - 单复数的一致请注意。。其他都很好。

论述 - 好吧基本完全没有回答问题。。问题问的是你同不同意xx是最重要的，结果你的回答是xx很重要很重要，但是yy, zz, aa, bb也很重要很重要。。有最字就要有比较，这篇文是完全没有。。请注意审题。

timicaoUID：3131283

谢谢楼主，看了你的批注，我受益很多，看来我的问题不是一般的严重。