跪求mpromanus修改lisicheng123大作！

liang0603UID：3182007

lisicheng123的求修改，阿呆代发~


Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

There is no doubt that education plays a crucial role in our life. But when it comes to the issue that whether people are now easier to become educated than in the past, different people hold different viewpoints. For me, I agree with the statement.

In order to become educated, the first thing the people should have is to have various materials and resources. In this aspect, the books and magazines and newspapers are increasing very fast. No matter in the various subjects or the number of the books. According to a famous book producer in China, compared to 20 years ago, books have enriched by 50 times, and the most rapidly change is newspapers, you can see them everywhere. However, these scenarios could not be seen at the past. Furthermore, people also have the habitat to read book everyday-- in the officers, in the subway train or even in the plane. All these scenes were not possible in the past years. As we know that, reading books or magazines definitely could be seen as a sign of being educated. Thus, from this perspective, people nowadays have a higher literate rate.



People can access to numerous ways to obtain information and then could become educated. Thanks to the advent of new technologies, especially the Internet, today's people are more easily to get accustomed to knowledge. For example, we could get information by surfing the Internet through google or baidu. We can find a lot of valuable videos or courses at YouToBe. Or we can find a lot of Open Courses conducted by a lot of famous universities, like Harvard, Yale, and UCLA. These sources could not only provide to the United States students, they also are opened to the people from all over the world, only if you want the get informed, only if you want to learn something new. In the same time, we could see that more and more students are engaging in these programs. In this way, a lot of people could access to information and knowledge through the new ways. But we all know that these programs were launched only a few years ago-- not more than 10 years. So it could not be imagined 20 years ago. Thus, thanks to these tools and new ways, we could definitely easier to learn information and get well-rounded.

With more money proved by governments, there are a lot of new schools are built all over the world. As we all know, school is the place where every child can get access to knowledge and knowledge could enlarge their horizons and enrich their talents. With more schools, more students could have chance to go to them. Then the children could become educated through the elementary school. Also, the governments encourage more university students to be teachers. For example, China has launched a lot of policies to encourage their college students into the primary school in the provety areas since those areas are lacking teachers. As a results, more and more children in West of China now have chance to have a new course of their life. Since they could have chance to access to education. But in the past, the West of China a lot of children cannot have chance to go to school, and their parent also are not able to read and write. But now, thing changes; these children have a totally different life course from their parents', for the reason that they are easier to become educated.

In a nutshell, people nowadays are easier to become educated based on the above reasons.

liang0603UID：3182007

阿呆本人的。。。:)


Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

With the fast development of the society, education is playing a critical role in people's life, and the advent of advanced technologies also makes it possible for us to get access to education more easily. When it comes to the issue whether it is easier to become educated than before, the majority conceive that it is not only easier and even more efficient to gain educated. From my own perspective, I strongly argue that people nowadays could be educated more easily than in the past.

In the first place, the higher standards of life give people more opportunities to access to education while the past days abound with problems such as scarce food or other hard situations. Recent years have witnessed the fast pace of agriculture processes, and the abounding food supply and other basic commodities have cast more possibilities for people to spare their time to study. That is to say. Currently we would not be pushed to work from dawn to dusk aiming at making a living, and therefore time consuming could be taken to education easier. For example, both my parents quitted their high schools to obtain the full time jobs. However, I could just further my study whenever I want without the consideration of being out of food. From this point, people are now easier to become educated than before for the sake that more time being left for education.

In the second place, more advanced technologies also reveal their merits recently to provide a more convenient and efficient way for people to get educated. Computers have widely spread nearly around every corner of the world, with which we could surf to the internet whenever and wherever we are. Apart from this, on-line courses of high quality recorded by the top universities and quick-contact applications invented by engineers on the internet are both beneficial for us to get educated with front fields and from famous professors. For instance, I could just take part into the online courses when being back home from my company, and connect with the professor in that course through Facebook, twitter, or other software to ask helps when I was in troubles of learning. In a large sense, all these were not available in the past days, so it is also now easier to get educated than before.  

Last but not the least, the governments nowadays more focus in education, and every country's government is trying its best to set up more schools such as elementary, middle schools and universities with more funds. Although the total population is increasing, more and more people could still be enrolled or participate into the schools if they want to learn. And the funds or the scholarships in the universities also give opportunities to those who could not afford the fees in the schools to fulfill their dreams of going to the universities. From this point, for the poor or minority of society it is also easier to get educated for the account that they could not go to school with enough money in the past.

To sum up, as the reasons have been discussed above, I strongly contend that nowadays people could get educated more easily as well as more efficiently than before.

mpromanusUID：2565872

Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier (I find this construct highly frequent in writings from Chinese students..and I do wonder why. Things are easy, not people, unless you mean to say someone is 'easy' to deal with – and in colloquial language, saying someone is 'easy' means he/she is easy to sleep with! You'd say 'It is easier now for people to become educated'.) to become educated than in the past?

There is no doubt that education plays a crucial role in our life. But (In formal written English, you'll be taught not to start sentences with 'and', 'but' or 'or'. I'm now less concerned over this than in the past but it's good to stick to the formality. Try 'however'.) when it comes to the issue that whether people are now easier to become educated than in the past, different people hold different viewpoints. For me, I agree with the statement.

In order to become educated, the first thing the people should have is to have various materials and resources. In this aspect, the books and magazines and newspapers (If you use 'the', then the noun phrase has to be specific – what 'books, magazines and newspapers' in particular are you talking about? If you intend to mean 'books, magazines and newspapers' in general, do not use 'the'.) are increasing (Books do not increase. The number of books does.) very fast. No matter in the various subjects or the number of the books. (This is not a complete sentence.) According to a famous book producer in China, compared to 20 years ago, books have enriched by 50 times, and the most rapidly change is newspapers, which you can see them everywhere (Your original sentence is a run-on. In English you can't combine two full sentences with a comma like you do in Chinese. You need to either use a connective, a full stop, or change one of them into a subordinate clause like I did here.). However, these scenarios could not be seen in the past. Furthermore, people also have the habitat (I'm pretty sure you mean 'habit', not 'habitat'..) to read book everyday-- in the officers, in (It's more appropriate to use 'on' to say you're physically using a vehicle of transportation – same for 'on the plane'.)the subway train or even in the plane. All these scenes were not possible in the past years. ('not possible' seems a bit harsh..) As we know that, reading books or magazines definitely could be seen as a sign of being educated. (Good logical connection.)Thus, from this perspective, people nowadays have a higher literate rate. (This is true, but the point you've just proven is that people now are more educated than in the past, not that getting educated is easier. If you've said something like 'now books and blah are much easier to access since they are everywhere, it's easier to get educated as it's easier to get reading material and people generally can read better', that proves the 'easier' part of the point – your problem is that you've focused too much on the 'educated' part of the question, and forgotten that the questions is about 'easier' too.)

People can access to numerous ways to obtain information and then could (Why do you use the present tense for the first 'can' and change here to 'could'?) become educated. Thanks to the advent of new technologies, especially the Internet, today's people are more easily to get accustomed to knowledge (See my first point in the question about this construct. Please make sure you know how to write such sentences properly. I'll not highlight similar errors in the essay.). For example, we could get information by surfing the Internet through google or baidu (You don't need google or baidu to surf the net. All you need is a browser – IE, Firefox, etc. – google and baidu are search engines, not browsers. From a computer science student's perspective, you don't even need a browser to surf the Internet, if you know the protocols..). We can find a lot of valuable videos or courses at YouTube. Or we can find a lot of Open Courses conducted by a lot of famous universities, like Harvard, Yale, and UCLA. These sources could not only provide to (You 'provide something' to someone. Things don't 'provide' themselves to people. If you must use 'these sources' as a subject, try 'these sources not only serve the needs of students in the States..'.) the United States students, they also are opened to the people from all over the world, only if (This is not the way to say the kind of 只要 you want to express! In your case, what you want to express is 'as long as'.) you want to get informed, only if you want to learn something new. In the same time, we could see that more and more students are engaging in these programs. In this way, a lot of people could access to information and knowledge through the new ways. But we all know that these programs were launched only a few years ago-- not more than 10 years. So it could not be imagined 20 years ago. Thus, thanks to these tools and new ways, we could definitely easier to learn information and get well-rounded.

With more money proved (Do you mean 'approved' or 'provided'?) by governments, there are a lot of new schools are built all over the world. As we all know, a school is the place where every child can get access to knowledge and knowledge could enlarge their horizons and enrich their talents. (A lot of children are not educated in 'schools' per se. They are tutored at home by their parents or private teachers – it is not as expensive, exclusive or elite as you might think – and in many countries this is perfectly legal.) With more schools, more students could have the chance to go to them. Then the children could become educated through the elementary school. Also, the governments encourage more university students to be teachers. For example, China has launched a lot of policies to encourage their (Whose?) college students into the primary school in the provety areas (Even if we ignore the spelling, that's not the way to translate 贫困地区..English has an essentially different way of constructing noun phrases, which means what you want to say is 'areas of poverty'.) since those areas are lacking teachers. As a results, more and more children in the West of China now have the chance to have a new course of their life (Not exactly sure which expression you're trying to capture in Chinese but I'm guessing what you wanted to say is 'a new chapter/beginning to their life'..). Since they could have a chance to access to education. But in the past, in the West of China a lot of children have no chance to go to school, and their parent also are not able to read and write. But now, things changes; these children have a totally different life course from their parents', for the reason that they are easier to become educated.

In a nutshell, people nowadays are easier to become educated based on the above reasons. (This is rather lazy. You probably ran out of time but a proper conclusion should try to rephrase your main points as much as possible – rephrasing is an important way to demonstrate your command of the language.)

总结：

论述和例子挺好的，句法也很强大，但是语言特别是表达方法上明显hold不住~语法上请特别注意冠词的使用。。至于表达方法我只能说1. 避免翻译 2. 多读英文原文的文章，如果你喜欢拿中国的事情来举例子，请多读官方英文版的文章。。

mpromanusUID：2565872

liang0603 发表于 2012-7-1 21:12
阿呆本人的。。。

Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

With the fast development of the society, education is playing a critical role in people's life, and the advent of advanced technologies also makes it possible for us to get access to education more easily. When it comes to the issue whether it is easier to become educated than before, the majority will/would etc. conceive that it is not only easier but also more efficient to get educated. ('gain' + noun, and 'educated' is not a noun.) From my own perspective, I strongly argue that people nowadays could be educated more easily than in the past.

In the first place, the higher standards of life give people more opportunities to access to education while the past days abound with problems such as scarce food or other hard situations. (I'd aruge that not all periods in the 'past' had such problems..there's a slight skew here that seems to equal 'past' with 'underdeveloped'.) Recent years have witnessed a fast pace in the advance? of agriculture processes, and the abounding food supply and other basic commodities have cast more possibilities for people to spare their time to study. That is to say. (This is a dangling incomplete sentence. I think you meant for the next sentence to follow this. In that case, use a comma.) Currently we would not be pushed to work from dawn to dusk aiming at making a living, and therefore time consuming could be taken to education easier (Not quite sure what exactly is being expressed here..) For example, both my parents quitted their high schools to obtain the full time jobs. However, I could just further my study whenever I want to without the consideration of being out of food. (Interesting. You have some very good thoughts here, but, the reason that you can do this is not directly the 'higher standards of life', is it? It's more likely that you're able to further your studies without the need to worry about food because you have your parents or other family members to provide for you, and the reason that they are able to provide for both themselves and you, is higher productivity/better earnings. In a nutshell: I know where your reasoning is coming from, but it's not very clearly laid out, and the connection between your example and your theory is rather unclear.) From this point, people are now easier to become educated than before for the sake (This doesn’t mean the same thing as 'because of'. It means 'for the interest/consideration/need of'.) that more time is being left for education.

In the second place, more advanced technologies also reveal their merits recently to provide a more convenient and efficient way for people to get educated. Computers have widely (Repetitive with 'around every corner of the world'.) spread nearly around every corner of the world, with which we could surf to the internet whenever and wherever we are. (Computers are not the only things to surf the net with..you can surf with any smart device, e.g. a smartphone, an iPad, even an electronic book reader..) Apart from this, on-line courses of high quality recorded by the top universities and quick-contact applications (I'm not sure what kind of app you're talking about here. There are instant messaging apps like QQ or MSN; social networking sites like Facebook; social broadcasting sites like Twitter and YouTube..there are no 'quick-contact' applications as far as I know..) invented by engineers on the internet are both beneficial for us to get educated with front fields (Do you mean 'cutting edge fields'?) and from famous professors. For instance, I could just take part into the online courses when I am back home from my company, and connect with the professor in that course through Facebook, twitter, or other software to ask for helps when I was in troubles of learning. In a large sense, all these were not available in the past days, so it is also now easier now to get educated than before.

Last but not the least, the governments nowadays have? more focus in education, and every country's government is trying its best to set up more schools such as elementary, middle schools and universities with more funds. Although the total population ('the total population' of what? the world?) is increasing, more and more people could still be enrolled or participate into the schools if they want to learn. And the funds or the scholarships in the universities also give opportunities to those who could not afford the fees in the schools to fulfill their dreams of going to the universities. From this point, for the poor or minority in a society it is also easier to get educated for the account that they could not go to school with enough money in the past. (I'm confused as to what this means. What you've written here means the poor or minority cannot go to school in the past even though they have enough money..)

To sum up, as the reasons have been discussed above, I strongly contend that nowadays people could get educated more easily as well as more efficiently than before.

总结：

你跟你朋友的情况差不多，就是论述长句神马的都很好但是表达方面hold不住啊~~另外你对介词的使用比较没准，请注意各种介词短语的搭配~~

liang0603UID：3182007

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-3 03:28
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

...

哇，我才看到！感激！！！！

black_marbleUID：3257768

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-2 03:56
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier (I find this construct highly frequent in ...

mpromanus 你好！
对这个审题我有些疑问，我想知道这里的educated是表示①受教育，还是②有良好修养的。
就是说这个题说的是目前人们变得更有修养更容易，还是受教育更容易

可能这个问题比较简单，但是我确实有点不明白。查字典也是不是太能分清楚，多谢了

black_marbleUID：3257768

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-2 03:56
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier (I find this construct highly frequent in ...

mpromanus 你好！
对这个审题我有些疑问，我想知道这里的educated是表示①受教育，还是②有良好修养的。
就是说这个题说的是目前人们变得更有修养更容易，还是受教育更容易

可能这个问题比较简单，但是我确实有点不明白。查字典也是不是太能分清楚，多谢了

black_marbleUID：3257768

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-2 03:56
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier (I find this construct highly frequent in ...

mpromanus 你好！
对这个审题我有些疑问，我想知道这里的educated是表示①受教育，还是②有良好修养的。
就是说这个题说的是目前人们变得更有修养更容易，还是受教育更容易

可能这个问题比较简单，但是我确实有点不明白。查字典也是不是太能分清楚，多谢了

black_marbleUID：3257768

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-2 03:56
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier (I find this construct highly frequent in ...

mpromanus 你好！
对这个审题我有些疑问，我想知道这里的educated是表示①受教育，还是②有良好修养的。
就是说这个题说的是目前人们变得更有修养更容易，还是受教育更容易

可能这个问题比较简单，但是我确实有点不明白。查字典也是不是太能分清楚，多谢了

mpromanusUID：2565872

black_marble 发表于 2012-7-14 21:57
mpromanus 你好！
对这个审题我有些疑问，我想知道这里的educated是表示①受教育，还是②有良好修养的。 ...

这里的educated具体是什么意思并不会影响你的写作。。你觉得它是受教育的意思就按照受教育写，你觉得它是有修养的意思就按照有修养写瓦。。虽说通常真正的作文题不太可能出现歧义，但如果你真碰到题目本身有像这样的字面意思造成的歧义，就在第一段中声明一下我认为题目里这个educated的意思是xxx然后顺着你认为的这个意思往下写就可以了。

black_marbleUID：3257768

mpromanus 发表于 2012-7-15 07:46
这里的educated具体是什么意思并不会影响你的写作。。你觉得它是受教育的意思就按照受教育写，你觉得它是 ...

好的，多谢指点。昨天看了有点纠结，现在明白了。

还有，昨天刷屏不是故意的，我的网有点卡，就提交了好几次，就成那个样子了:L。