楼主: 秋雨荆州

[作文] 新托福独立写作部分误区解读(范例分析版) [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-12-28 14:55:45 |显示全部楼层
秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-12-28 14:53
可惜写的太长了,看起来累人啊

哈哈,是挺长的,但是认真看真心能够学到东西~
是用心写出来的东西,所以要好好认真阅读!
辛苦咯!

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发表于 2012-12-28 21:33:55 |显示全部楼层
。。。。。谨拜楼主,让我学到很多,在托福作文的路上还有很长一段要走啊。。。不过高二学生可以再慢慢锻炼。!!学习了!

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发表于 2012-12-29 10:49:13 |显示全部楼层
能不能帮忙改一下作文呢,是我第一次写,希望能对我的作文做一些点评和指正,真心非常感谢!!!!
Do you agree or disagree young people enjoy life more than older people do.

Colorful as we have a first think of young people's lives,singing all night long,travelling with good friends,and so on,but it is not all that about.in the contrast,when people think about an old people's life,illness, slowly walking, nothing to do after retire just staying at home or something like that appear in our minds.so some people affraid to get older and think that older people'lives are boring,they can not enjoy their lives as they used to do .But what I want to say is that whether all of us understand the word "enjoy".in my opinion,that means to do the things we like and want to do with happiness.

so let's see “singing all night”is the thing that young people like and want to do?in most of such suituations,young people do this are not of their own willing,they may do just because one of their friends are having the brithday party,and they just do not want be insolated or avoid to hurt the person who have the brithday.this will not happen on the older people,so I think the older people enjoy life more than young people.

I have a couple of reasons to illustrate my opinion,young people not only have the suituation that I mentioned in the above paragragh,they also don not have ample time as the older people,although,they can travel with their friends,they only have a few days spare.but for the older people,they can spend a whole month or a few weeks on the beach or in the mountains.young people should study and work,they are in a period of life when they should make more money and have their own careers. in the meantime,if a young person do not work hard then his older life may be more tough than those who have good careers.so the older period of life is the time for us to enjoy life,and so it is.

I have an example of my grandfather who is 90 years old now with good health,and I lived with him since I was a little child,I know what he is doing everyday,in the morning he get up early to read a piece of newspaper and then have exercises in the graden, then he usually play chinese chess with his friends,he looks realy happy from his smiling face,and every month he chose one place to go with my grandma,climbing a mountain, hiking,traveling and so on,which keeps them fit and stay in a good mood.

All in all,I hold the view that the older people enjoy life more than young people do.older people have more time and less stress from the society.the young people are the oppsite.moreover,older people have experienced all the things in their lives,so they can taste all the happiness and sorrow in their lives.that is the reason they can think more openly and passively than young people.so they are the right group of people who can enjoy life.

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发表于 2012-12-29 20:30:47 |显示全部楼层
拜读了,谢谢经验的分享

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发表于 2012-12-30 23:00:17 |显示全部楼层
多谢秋雨~~

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发表于 2013-1-1 00:06:53 |显示全部楼层
学习了!感谢分享

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备考先锋 寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant

发表于 2013-1-4 18:46:32 |显示全部楼层
赞赞赞!谢谢斑竹

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发表于 2013-1-10 19:16:30 |显示全部楼层
谢谢分享!!!!!

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发表于 2013-1-11 15:10:58 |显示全部楼层
好东西,要学习一下

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发表于 2013-2-3 10:49:51 |显示全部楼层
lz加油,大家加油~~

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发表于 2013-2-17 17:14:49 |显示全部楼层
很佩服!!!

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发表于 2013-2-19 00:59:25 |显示全部楼层
赞一个!!!

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发表于 2013-2-20 23:28:53 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2013-2-22 00:19:32 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2013-3-1 18:11:25 |显示全部楼层

学习~~

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