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[经验思考] GRE作文6分教学博客   [复制链接]

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-18 12:25:07 |显示全部楼层

为什么大部分同学都只有3-3.5分

V160+Q163+AW 4.0 在职备考经验及教训
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=2191404

今年暑假我尝试辅导了近10名GRE考生,大部分是我以前任教的华科的学生,小部分是寄托网友。最终拿到4分的只有这个经验帖的主人,一个素未谋面的在职G友。为什么大多数同学都只能拿到3-3.5分,大概有以下几个理由

1. 写作文前没有认真读题,根本没搞清楚题目里涉及的issue是什么,就凭感觉写。
比如这道题
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1778799
10) Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.
这里讲的很清楚是讨论要不要立法preserve wilderness,但是互改中的同学想当然的写环保问题,这样不认真审题,写出来的文章自然不可能切题。

2. 误信某些参考书所提倡的正反正的写法,没有提出整合的观点,也没有按照题目的具体要求来写作。
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
比如这个要求讲明是讨论实施这个政策的后果,也就是整篇文章都要围绕着各种后果来写。

3. 写文章所使用的英语凭自己的想象将自己想的汉语翻译成英语,完全不考虑这个说法是否符合英语的习惯。可以这么说,由于母语不是英语,我们自己想出来的句子十有八九是不通的,只有通过大量阅读通顺的英语,熟悉各种地道的表达,力求自己的句型、表达是以前见过的,才有可能写出可以接受的句子。很多同学写出来的句子惨不忍睹不知所云,但更可怕的是还自我感觉良好,不知道自己的这种表达已经符合这里的3分条件:

Scores 3 and 2.5: Displays some competence in analytical writing, although the writing is flawed in at least one of the following ways: limited analysis or development; weak organization; weak control of sentence structure or language usage, with errors that often result in vagueness or lack of clarity.

4. 缺乏对真题的分析和思考,幼稚的幻想可以通过某种简便的模板来达到高分,或者只要字数写到一定篇幅就可以拿到高分。
由于很多同学语言表达能力有限,又缺乏对题目的深入思考,因此我希望通过先列提纲(英语)和用汉语展开讨论将语言表达和思想的问题分离开来。但这要求参与的组员愿意拿出时间和耐心去思考问题,分析真题。再看这位4分G友关于作文的分享

作文:issue 85个topic中,60个英文提纲,30篇全文练习;argument 题目过两遍,85个中文简要提纲,25个高频全文练习。 个人认为,GRE最难的就是作文,提升非常困难。
但是,没有认真准备过AW的人,就没有完整地体会到GRE的真谛。如果你认真准备了,你才会懂我的意思。
作文的网络资源质量参差不齐,请大家谨慎对待。


60个英语提纲、39篇全文,虽然我没有每道题和她讨论,但是她的付出最终有了回报,考场上遇到的题目我们之前好像讨论过。 在我目前辅导过的同学中,她是唯一投入这么多的考生,也是唯一拿到4分的,我不认为这两件事是巧合。

5. 大部分同学对GRE作文包括版面上的资料都很浮躁,希望一步登天。必须指出,很多理工科的申请人GRE作文其实并不重要,3分也没什么大不了的。但是,如果你有心拿到4分或以上,就得沉下心来学习,扎扎实实的写提纲、思考问题、阅读写得好的文章、收集好的句型、表达,摒弃自己想怎么写就怎么写的陋习。我在我的6分经验帖上不断的回帖添加各种内容包括参与互改的指引,但是尽管很多同学表示有兴趣参加,但真正原因耐心了解我的教学思路和认真练习的人却屈指可数。少数同学参与的部分互动后,就没有了下文。我只能说这些同学最终只能拿到3-3.5分,因为他们不肯付出拿到4分或以上需要付出的努力。

但是,没关系,因为即使拿不到4分,大部分同学还是可以去美国,只是他们更多的会成为技术人才,如果写作能力不能提升,就很难在科研和管理的路上走得更远。而我这个辅导项目会一直做下去,我相信我总会在这里遇到一些像这位4分G友这样愿意投入的同学,能教到这样的学生,一起探索GRE作文所带来的思维的乐趣,就是我最大的快乐。



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恐惧黎明 + 4 感谢分享
乱羽乱舞 + 2 老师也是idealist,愿天下idealists的坚持都.

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发表于 2014-10-18 20:07:50 |显示全部楼层
明天考,刚看到,估计还要二战,先mark之,先怒谢王老师,攒人品!!

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US-applicant

发表于 2014-10-20 19:04:05 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 lisa_C 于 2014-10-20 19:51 编辑

跟进!求加入拿下AW!11.16G,坐标深圳,正好四周整,今天开始跟版练!

之前托福写作23,一战G写作3.5

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发表于 2014-10-20 22:14:52 |显示全部楼层
tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-16 23:19
今天开了小组帖讨论issue 74
74) Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important dec ...

看了前辈的帖子,觉得我把问题想复杂了,如果单纯的摆例子,三,四个例子还是很好找得的,升学,求职,贷款,投资等等。但是我觉得,如果在举出了三个正面观点的例子后,能不能加上一个反面的例子,这样应该就符合行文要求中的shape your position.我觉得我那个天气的例子就很好。但是我也承认,前辈的思路当中其实很巧妙的回避了讨论到底什么是重要决定的问题,要知道因为天气而改变自己的行程可能不是什么重要的决定。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-23 23:16:27 |显示全部楼层

Argument 51/15 两篇示范(包括其他解释类型题)

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-17 08:23 编辑

51) The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine. Thus, to avoid the expense of purchasing butter and to increase profitability, the Happy Pancake House should extend this cost-saving change to its restaurants in the southeast and northeast as well.

The business manager argues that HPH restaurants in southeast and northeast should follow the practice of replacing butter with margarine as customers in southwest seemed to be happy with the arrangement which can save costs for the company. We need to ask a number of questions about how the replacement affected the food at HPH, how the customers felt about the replacement and what difference there might be between southwest customers and the customers in the other regions in order to evaluate the soundness of the argument.

To begin with, we need to know what percentages of the food and the customers have been affected by the replacement to better understand what it means to have 2% of customers complaining. If, for example, only half of the food items on the menu were prepared with butter (or margarine after replacement) or about 30% of customers actually ordered anything with butter replaced by margarine, the fact that 2% of customers complained would be far more significant than the number suggested. In other words, the customers who ordered pancake without butter to begin with or the food items that do not include butter should be excluded from the data if we want any meaningful information.

In addition, we need to know the real attitudes of customers towards the replacement of butter with margarine. The fact that most customers being given margarine did not complain does not mean that these customers were completely satisfied with the new arrangement.  Complaining about the food in a restaurant can be a stressful experience for many customers who do not want to ruin the time they spent with their friends or family members.  They may choose to vote against the restaurant by feet by not coming to the restaurant next time instead of making a complaint right away. Therefore, we need to investigate how customers felt about the change through other means such as focus group, interviewing or simply monitoring the number of returning customers.  

Moreover, it is not safe to assume that what works in one region would necessarily do the trick in a different region. Therefore, we need to ask if the customers in the other regions have the same preferences when it comes to butter vs. margarine.  We need to carefully compare the demographic information of the different regions and investigate how different ages, income, gender and educational levels may affect customers’ preferences for butter in a pancake restaurant. Such information is vital for the company to make decisions about adopting this new policy in other areas.  

Finally, it is important to ask whether it is ethical to keep the customers in the dark with regard to the use of butter versus margarine. The company needs to know what the customers really want when they use the term “butter” rather than simply assuming that butter can mean both real butter and the cheaper substitute.  Offering the customers something cheaper than what the customers expect and taking advantages of the ambiguity in the naming of food may be unethical practices that would harm the restaurant’s reputation and long-term profitability and may even carry legal consequences.   

Overall speaking, it is understandable that the company looks for ways to save costs and increase profits and replacing butter with something cheaper seems to be smart move. But this arrangement should not be extended to more restaurants in other regions unless the questions raised above are answered and the information collected clearly suggests that this arrangement is a desirable move.  




Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

claim: to avoid the expense of purchasing butter and to increase profitability, the Happy Pancake House should extend this cost-saving change to its restaurants in the southeast and northeast as well.

data: Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States.
data: Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change.
data: Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead.
data: Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.

warrant: only 2% have complained about the replacement suggesting that the rest of them are satisfied with the change
warrant: customers who are given margarine did not complain, therefore, it is ok to replace it
warrant: customers cannot distinguish or do not distinguish; therefore, it is OK to replace  

Questions should be asked about what percentages of the customers are affected by the replacement; the attitudes of the customers being given margarine instead of butter; the preferences of the customers in southeast and northeast





The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.

"Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine."

Argument 15

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.


First we have to identify the observations made and the explanations proposed
we can then discuss how the observations could be explained in alternative ways  

fact- only 2% complained
explanation: an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change

fact- many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead
explanation: Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.  


The business manager of HPH argues that replacing butter with margarine had little influence on their customers based on his interpretations and explanations of two observations: 1) only 2% of customers complained; 2) customers did not complain about the replacement according to the servers.  To evaluate the argument critically, we need to explore other alternative explanations for the facts observed and presented.  

Given the fact that only 2% of the customers complained about margarine used to replace butter, the manager believes that 98% of the customers are OK with the replacement.  But there might be other reasons why complaint rate was only 2%.  For example, perhaps the only way for the customers to complain about the change was to speak to the restaurant staff directly, which the customers may feel reluctant to do for fear of embarrassment or confrontation.  If the restaurant had a Facebook page accepting complaints from the customers, the complaint rate might be much higher.  Indeed, the customers may have already complained about the change in social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, which the restaurant is not fully aware of.  

Another possible explanation for the relatively low complaint rate is that the restaurant has done a decent job overall serving the customers. The food was generally delicious and the service was very good.  As a result, the customers chose not to complain about the change of butter.  But the lack of complaints should not be interpreted as the customers being satisfied with the change without stronger evidence to support such an interpretation.  

As for the servers’ report of few complaints after failing to deliver the order, there are also a number of alternative explanations we need to consider.  Maybe the servers chose to withhold information about the complaints they received from the customers in order to look good to the management of HPH.  More systematic and independent investigation into the customer satisfaction about the change of ingredient is necessary to settle this issue.  Such investigation would help determine whether the customers could not distinguish butter from margarine or used the term “butter” more loosely.  

Meanwhile, for the lack of complaints in both cases, we also need to consider the possibility that customers decided not to come to HPH for dinner again after the change about butter.  They simply voted against HPH by their feet without taking the trouble to lodge a complaint.  We need to track the customer returning rate before and after the change about butter to decide if the change has cost the restaurant some customers.  Indeed, such loss of customers may be more threatening to the restaurant than complaints as it is harder for the manager to recognize the problems when the customers just gave up the restaurant silently.  

In conclusion, we need more information about customers’ attitudes towards the change and a number of other issues to decide which explanations were the most appropriate for the observed facts.  

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-24 11:07:09 |显示全部楼层

issue必杀技-分类讨论

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-5-19 11:24 编辑

参加提纲互改小组的同学辛苦了!有部分同学写的提纲未能抓住题目的重点,被我不客气的批评,希望不要见怪。这里介绍一个issue必杀技,可以用来处理很多issue。我打算利用这个帖子来将题库中适用这个策略的题目逐一讨论一遍。快考的同学也可以参与这个活动,尝试用这个策略来列提纲。如果人品爆发考试时抽中这里讨论的题目,用我们讨论过的提纲拿到理想的分数,记得回来报喜哦~~O(∩_∩)O哈哈~  

先上一道题目本身已经分好类的


8) Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.
Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


111) In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


149) In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should be required to step down after five years.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.


这道题的切入点当然是按不同领域的特点来讨论。比如政府比较容易滋生腐败,经常换人是必须的;企业需要不断创新,也应该换人;而教育机构需要有威望、经验丰富的人,因此不必换。也可以提美国的法官终身制。


131) Claim: Researchers should not limit their investigations to only those areas in which they expect to discover something that has an immediate, practical application.
Reason: It is impossible to predict the outcome of a line of research with any certainty.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

这道题其实可以对researcher进行分类,政府资助的科研人员、企业研发部门的科研人员,指出政府可以支持做更多的长远的理论研究,同意对于这类研究确实不太好预测结果,但很有意义,同时企业的研发部门做的研究往往需要有较短线的成果,要能够预测,这样企业才能收回成本等等。然后有人可能会说政府支持这种不可预测的研究会不会是浪费钱,如何评估其价值,回应是这些研究即使没有应用或发现,也还是可以发论文,只要同行觉得有价值就不浪费,同时也培训了科研人员去坐其他有价值的研究。  



135) Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

这类题目可以将学生分作几种情况
- 对于经济压力比较大的学生,应该鼓励他们学这种学科,将来可以脱贫(比如精算)
- 对于本身感兴趣的学科就能为lucrative career做准备的,当然也应该鼓励 因为这样的同学以后又能赚钱又能做自己喜欢的事情
- 对于经济负担不重的学生 应该鼓励他们学自己喜欢的学科 即使将来不能很赚钱 也可以去做很对专业没什么要求的工作  

37) Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at an early age to develop their talents.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

这道题可以将有天分的孩子分作三类,数学有天分、在自然科学有天分和语言有天分。
数学有天分的孩子需要特别培养,因为学校的数学课对他们来说太简单,比如Terry Tao
自然科学有天分的孩子也需要特别培养,因为做实验的设备只有大学才有,比如 Eva Vertes
语言有天分的孩子不需要特别培养,因为语言能力可以通过日常的交流和阅读来提升,需要让他们过正常的生活

(15年5月19日更新)分类讨论的另一个重要技巧是对题目中的关键概念进行细化的界定,形成某种框架。最近和版友讨论issue 21时有些体会,在这里分享:


这道题要把law这个概念界定好 包括立法 legislation 司法 court ruling 执法 law enforcement 立法的时候 不可能太flexible 只能定原则  在普通法体系里 法官的判例也是法律的一部分 这个就要考虑具体案例 比较flexible  然后执法的过程也是要具体考虑的 执法也是法律的一部分 执法涉及到执法者对法律的理解和诠释及将法律变成行动

这里既是对法律的具体界定,同时也是从不同的角度来看待法律,这样写出的文章内容比较丰富、也会有一定的深度。


这一层楼将重点讨论分类讨论及多角度分析题目的技巧,以后还会更新一些例子。

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lisa_C + 2 把提纲里的讨论对象分类就有很多可说的!给.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-24 11:10:57 |显示全部楼层

如何实现6分标准里提到的well focused and well organized



如何实现6分标准里提到的well focused and well organized,其中一种方式就是用我提倡的1+3模型,详见这里 http://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777364-1-1.html

这个模型在诺贝尔文学奖得主、大神罗素的著名散文What I live for里可见一斑

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. 这里的并列结构统领全文 分别指向中间三段的中心 是一个经典的主旨句 These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.第一个分论点与主旨句呼应  I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. 第二个分论点与主旨句呼应。注意这里的equal与上一个目标呼应 I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. 注意这里的承上启下与前两段实现衔接 But always pity brought me back to earth. 第三个分论点与主旨句呼应Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

不仅仅要通过主旨句与主题句的呼应来实现段落之间的连贯,段落内部的连贯也很重要。

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

不仅仅使用了first, next和finally这类转折词,同时句子之间也有各种reference,比如第一句中的love 在第二句、第三句中用it指代 最后一句的This再次指代love

再来看我自己写issue 109的某段话
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=3#pid1778917460

1 In addition to natural science, social sciences also brought the public many new knowledge about how the society worked.
2 Microeconomic theories, for example, have been developed to explain and predict human behaviours in a wide range of contexts.
3 Through the quantitative analysis of a large amount of data about drivers’ behaviours before and after the introduction of seatbelt laws, economists have learned that while seatbelt laws may provide extra protection for drivers and passengers, more pedestrians had been killed as drivers tended to drive less cautiously with the protection of seat belts.  
4 Such insights from social science carry important implications for the relevant social and legal policies and contributed to our understanding of the society.  


1 natural science指向上段的重点,承上启下
2 for example说明这一句是举例支持上句 theories是knowledge的一种
3 economists呼应上句的microeconomic theories  drivers’ behaviours/ drivers tended to drive less cautiously 是上句 human behaviours的具体例子
4 such insights是对上句的总体概况 social science呼应第一句social science  


由此可见,段落内要实现连贯必须在句子之间设置各种呼应点。写作过程中未必要有意识地这样做,只要思路清晰,自然就会有这些呼应。但在修改点评时,句子之间是否实现呼应应该成为一个重点考察对象。如果发现两个相邻的句子之间完全没有呼应点,那么这个段落的连贯性就存疑了。

总的来说,要做到well focused and well organized就应该在段落之间和段落内实现呼应,确保文章和段落都在集中讨论一个中心议题和具体的分论点。
已有 3 人评分声望 收起 理由
diehard + 2 是的。这个呼应点的概念很有启发,而且在修.
lisa_C + 2 赞呼应点
andalucia + 2 罗素这个例文非常给力!

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2015 US-applicant

发表于 2014-10-24 15:26:55 |显示全部楼层
支持!!!请问老师,现在的ISSUE 高频哪里找呢?还是说参看老G的频率?

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-24 18:48:44 |显示全部楼层

issue的1+3写作模型

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2014-11-14 11:23 编辑

参加本互改活动的同学需熟悉我总结的1+3写作模型。这个模型是我在WUSTL读本科时写作老师教的,符合美国人的写作习惯。尽管ETS强调没有一种正确的写作方式,为了考试,建议参加本计划的同学尝试这个方法。

所有写提纲的同学请务必按照下面的格式来写,即用英语写出主旨句和主题句,然后用汉语解释主题句如何展开。这个要求的主要目的在于确保你的文章有一个连贯的思路。


1+3模型的基本思想就是要主旨句(TS)和主题句(ts)的相互呼应,1个TS要包含3个点,概括3个ts。可以用以下伪码来概述:

TS (pt1, pt2, pt3)
ts (pt1)
ts (pt2)
ts (pt3)

以这道题为例

    The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
    Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我们要写出一个复杂而有层次的主旨句

Whether the statement holds true or not depends on which groups of people in the society are challenging the authority and in what ways.  For groups of people such as secondary school students and workers in manufacturing sectors, challenging the school teachers and the factory supervisors will disrupt the normal operations of schools and factories that would harm the well-beings of the society.  On the other hand, scientists should be encouraged to question the authority through which new theories can be developed and new technologies can be advanced to improve the productivity of the society.
这个主旨句将原题中的people具体化为三种人- 中学生、工人和科学家,并简略讨论针对三个全体的不同分论点。这样写要求第一段对观点做出较详细的阐述,可能和大家平时简略提出观点的做法不一样,需要适应。 而这样做的好处就是读者可以一开始就清晰的看到我们全篇的脉络,而我们写中间段也有了一个纲要。

接下来三个主题句分别支持主旨句的一部分:


    In institutions such as secondary schools, if students challenge the authority of their teachers, the schools will not operate normally and neither students nor teachers will benefit from the acts of questioning authority.
    In places such as manufacturing factories, it is unnecessary and harmful for workers to question the authority and disobey the instructions of their supervisors.
    While authorities should be respected in the above-mentioned contexts, scientific researchers should question the authority all the time in order to develop new theories and technologies for the progress of modern society.


这就是我所谓的1+3模型。  

本计划中列提纲就是指根据题目的要求,用英语写出1个主旨句和3个主题句。同时,还要用汉语来解释中间三段如何展开。

    In institutions such as secondary schools, if students challenge the authority of their teachers, the schools will not operate normally and neither students nor teachers will benefit from the acts of questioning authority. 这里主要指出中学生学习的课本知识大多没有争议,因此不必在课堂上挑战老师,举例可以是基础的数学、物理等等。同时,如果挑战老师的权威,可能会影响课堂秩序,降低学习效率。另外,挑战老师不利于建立良好的师生关系,而这种关系对于老师了解学生的进展、帮助学生都很重要。
    In places such as manufacturing factories, it is unnecessary and harmful for workers to question the authority and disobey the instructions of their supervisors. 工厂有一套成熟的管理体系,工人必须遵循制度和上级的指引才能有效的完成任务。如果挑战权威,就会影响生产的效率,危及企业的利润以及员工的饭碗。同时,遵守规则和指引也是安全生产的保障。
    While authorities should be respected in the above-mentioned contexts, scientific researchers should question the authority all the time in order to develop new theories and technologies for the progress of modern society. 科学研究就是不断验证和挑战前人模型的过程。没有人能保证自己一定是对的,而科学理论必须是可以证伪的。任何人提出的理论,只要被发现和新的实验数据相矛盾,就会被推翻。而科学的进步正式有赖于这种协作的相互挑战的机制。科技的发展虽然提高了工作效率,但是却可能带来伦理和社会问题,因此我们需要挑战技术发展中的权威,批判的反省科技对社会的影响。


已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
diehard + 2 认同这种写作模式,会以此展开后续练习。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-24 18:52:14 |显示全部楼层

issue的6种题型及基本布局套路

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-8-4 22:08 编辑

        GRE写作题库的issue部分149道真题有6种写作要求,包括是否同意命题及不同情况下是否正确(54题),是否同意论断以及考虑反对意见(24题),评估具体情况下某建议是否可取(24题),是否同意论断及原因(19题),论及观点的两面及自己的倾向(16题),评估政策及其后果(12题)。

         首先要强调的是,在构思自己的作文时,必须根据每道题的具体写作要求来安排全篇的基本结构,这也是评分时的重要考虑部分。由于在辅导中发现部分同学写作时完全不考虑这一点,因此有必要特别提醒大家,审题的重要性。
          其次,根据这六种不同的题目要求,我们可以发展出一些通用的解题和立论方法,这样即使人品不好遇到没有准备过的题目,在构思上也可以有所倚仗。

是否同意命题及不同情况下是否正确

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

由于这道题要求我们讨论在多大程度同意某命题,以及这个命题何时成立、何时不成立,我们的基本观点可以是
under conditions A or B, the statement is true because …; when conditions C or D are met, the statement does not hold true because …
而中间段就针对conditions A/B/C/D 展开讨论即可。

比如这道题
In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.

I agree that for scientists and researchers, it is essential to review the past studies on specific problems before making any breakthroughs as the accomplishments of the earlier scholars provide the theoretical and methodological foundations for further studies.  On the other hand, in the fields of politics and education, government officials and school teachers have to rely on their own experiences and wisdom to deal with new problems and challenges on a daily basis.   

是否同意论断以及考虑反对意见
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

这道题要求我们选择一个基本的立场-赞成或反对,但需要讨论能挑战自己观点的例证。其实这就要求我们在讨论了某种可能的反对意见后,再作出相应的反驳,从而巩固自己的观点。基本思路为:

I agree with tis claim because A and B. While some people may disagree because C, I think the claim is still true because C’.  


The best way to teach—whether as an educator, employer, or parent—is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.

There is no doubt that praising positive actions or behaviours is the best way to teach students, children and employees as the positive reinforcement will lead to repetition of more desirable behaviours.  While some people may emphasise the importance of correcting mistakes, I believe that incorrect actions will be gradually replaced by correct actions which receive positive feedback.  

评估具体情况下某建议是否可取
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我一直怀疑ETS在改革GRE写作时引入更多的具体指引其实是为了帮助考生写出更好地文章。事实上这类指引是在十分明确的引导大家使用一种非常有用的策略-即分情况讨论。这样做的好处包括能够使观点和全文有一个清晰的框架,同时也能对问题提出一个有洞见和丰富的立场。所以这类题的基本思路可概括为

The recommendation is advantageous when condition A is met because …
The recommendation is not desirable when conditions B or C are met because …

Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development.

I believe that governments should never restrict research activities of any scientists in any fields in order to respect the academic freedom and encourage creative activities of mankind. Nevertheless, the scientific communities should establish a set of ethical codes to restrict research activities that would clearly harm the well-beings of mankind.  

这里我除了运用上面提到的基本模板外,还对建议的主体做出了调整,强调学界应该自治而非受制于外来的政治力量。  

是否同意论断及原因

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

这种题目比较复杂,需要讨论是否同意某个论断及提出的原因。我们可以选择的立场也比较多,可以既同意论断又同意原因,可以同意论断但不同意原因并提出另一原因,甚至可以同意原因部分,但不同意论断。好在这类题仅有19道,建议全部列提纲准备,这样在考场上才能应付自如。  

Claim: When planning courses, educators should take into account the interests and suggestions of their students.
Reason: Students are more motivated to learn when they are interested in what they are studying.

对于这道题,我们可以采取分类讨论的方式,将学生分作中、小学生和大学生。

I agree that at college and postgraduate levels, professors should communicate with students as much as possible when planning the courses in order to incorporate interesting materials and topics that would motivate students to learn and conduct independent researches. However, at primary and secondary schools, teachers have to plan their courses according to national curriculum to ensure the quality of basic education and suggestions from students at these levels are less likely to be useful.  

Claim: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from those whose views contradict our own.
Reason: Disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

我们可以分不同情况来讨论reason是否成立,然后决定论断是否成立。

When interacting with other people, we can learn more from those holding different views as long as our relationships enable us to discuss and exchange viewpoints in a rational and equal manner, e.g. as colleagues and classmates. In such relationships, disagreement do not cause stress but promote learning.  On the other hand, both the claim and the reason hold true when we could not stay calm and reasonable, e.g. fighting with spouses or political rivals.  

论及观点的两面及自己的倾向

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

由于这道题要求我们讨论两面的立场并有一定的倾向性,如果我们采取分情况讨论的策略则可以提出某些情况的比率更高因此更倾向于某个立场。

I tend agree with A because under circumstances B and C, A is true. On the other hand, A may not hold true under circumstance D which is rather unlikely.   


Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.


I believe that we should not use our scarce resources to save all species near extinction because in most cases the benefits of such endeavours do not outweigh the costs. In relatively rare cases in which such efforts may lead to significant economic and social returns, the investment in conservation may be worth the while.  

评估政策及其后果

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

还是可以采取分类讨论的基本策略,注意每个分论点都要论及政策的后果。

Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study in which jobs are plentiful.

For vocational schools, there is no need to encourage students to choose majors based on career prospects as the schools should only offer programs that prepare students for industries which can provide enough jobs.  For universities, however, the main purpose is to promote learning and research activities which may or may not related to students’ future careers.  The proposed policy would undermine the abilities of certain departments to attract talented students but force other departments to reorient their curriculums to more practical training.  


在备考过程中,考生应针对这6种不同的题型列提纲、形成观点和收集例证,在计划全文的结构和思路时一定要全面的回应题目的要求。  

之前26楼的一些内容和这里讨论的内容相近,转帖过来

Issue写作必须完成题目要求,同时也可以锦上添花

新GRE作文提出了明确的写作要求,而且不同的题目要求还不太一样。Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based. 这个要求和以前区别不是很大,关键是处理好claim和reason之间的关系。而我在考场上由于时间比较充裕,联想到另一种写作要求

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which youagree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position,be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could beused to challenge your position. 其实这个要求中关于如何回应读者可能提出的挑战是任何严谨的论述都应该涉及的,因此我就在题目没有要求的情况下,加了一段,虽然有画蛇添足的嫌疑,实际上达到了锦上添花的效果。


已有 12 人评分声望 收起 理由
mussel14 + 1 666666
hzq_finch + 1 不能更认同
Chris_geng + 1 原创就是给力
cxf20041382 + 1 赞一个
nikam + 1 弓虽!
Lantis + 1 赞一个. 许多东西以前没注意
乱羽乱舞 + 2 不能更认同
diehard + 6 此贴超有收获,一举解开了我对各类要求的迷.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-24 19:20:00 |显示全部楼层

Argument 3 示范


The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.”
  

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

What are the reasons why people do not come to Central Plaza?

What are the reasons why the business decreased in Central Plaza?  

What are the causes of litter and vandalism?

Can skateboarding be effectively prohibited? What will happen if it is prohibited.  

In this letter, it is recommended that skateboarding should be prohibited in order to resume the popularity and business activities in Central Plaza. A number of questions about why people do not shop as much in Central Plaza as before, the causes of litter and vandalism and the feasibility and consequences of prohibiting skateboarding need to be answered in order to evaluate

The first question we need to investigate is why shoppers came to the Central Plaza less often and spent less money here.  It is assumed in the argument that skateboarding was the main reason.  But we need more information about shoppers’ attitudes towards skateboarding and whether or not skateboarding had been a hassle to the shoppers and shop owners here.  Maybe the decline of popularity and business was due to the relatively high prices of the goods sold in Central Plaza or the opening of a fancier shopping mall in the region.  If that was the case, prohibiting skateboarding would not improve the situation.

It may be safe to assume that litter and vandalism compromise the shopping experiences at Central Plaza and partially lead to the reduction of business.  But we need more evidence about who were responsible for such socially unacceptable or illegal activities. It is not fair to assume that skateboarders were the people engaged in littering and/or vandalism. Again, if littering and vandalism were done by a different group of people, the recommendation would not lead to desired outcome.  

The final issue we need to address is whether skateboarding could be effectively prohibited and what would happen after prohibition. If the children engaged in skateboarding were so enthusiastic about the sports, prohibiting it may cost too much manpower and lead to conflicts between the skateboarders and the security guards that may drive away more shoppers.  Also, even if skateboarding were successfully prohibited, we need to know what these people who used to skateboard would do in Central Plaza.  Maybe they would do something even more annoying and disruptive than skateboarding.  

In conclusion, since we do not know the real reasons why people did not come to Central Plaza as often as before and who were responsible for increasing litter and vandalism, it is not fair to blame the skateboarders.  More efforts should be made to investigate the behaviour patterns of the skateboarders to decide whether prohibiting the sports is a feasible and desirable option.  


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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-25 11:20:26 |显示全部楼层

Issue 65 just and unjust laws 示范

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-7-9 20:32 编辑

Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

这里有一个我之前写的提纲



All citizens should obey both just laws and laws that may not be just to protect their own interests and ensure the stability and prosperity of the society.  Yet, for the laws that may not be reasonable, the citizens may resist them within the democratic and legal framework of legislation.  


P2: When the laws are considered just by the entire society, the individuals should obey the laws for the sake of their own interests and the benefits of the entire society. 这个很好说 正义的法律保护生命与财产 尽量写简单地例子 比如醉酒驾驶 公众场所禁止吸烟等等


P3: When the the justice of some laws is questionable, the individuals should still obey the laws to ensure the normal operation of the government and the stability of the society.  这个比较麻烦 例子不好想 或许可以写2003年美国国会通过法案授权布什总统侵略伊拉克  尽管法案正当性存疑 但是美国士兵还是要守法上前线 老百姓还得纳税支持战争  但是后来通过选举反战的参议员奥巴马来改变了有问题的方案  即使在面临有问题的法律时 还是要尊重立法者和执法者的权威 才能保障社会的稳定 或许目前香港的政改问题也是合适的例子


P4: Some people may ask what can be done about the unjust laws if all citizens obey the laws. I think the citizens should try to revise the unjust laws through legislation by voicing their concerns and placing pressure on the democratically elected Congressmen.  回应反对意见 如果遵守恶法 如何彰显公义?回应时遵守的同时,可以通过和平的方式表达意见比如在报纸上写文章辩论、写信向议员施压,最终通过立法的方式废除恶法  


The rule of law is an important pillar of modern society.  It is argued that while people should always obey just laws, laws that are perceived as unjust should be disobeyed and resisted.  While I agree that just laws should always be followed to maintain social order, even the laws that are controversial should also be respected to avoid any conflicts between civilians and the government.  As to the concern over the harm of unjust laws, people should try to reform them within the legal framework.  

Let’s first consider why everyone should be responsible for obeying just laws.  Take the simple examples of the traffic law about driving under the influence of alcohol.  In most countries, it is illegal to drive if one is drunk.  Few people would challenge the justice behind this law.  When a driver is drunk, s/he would not be able to operate an vehicle safely and driving would threaten the safety of the driver, the passengers and others sharing the road.  To protect the interests of everyone involved, the laws prohibit such behaviors and punish those breaking the laws.  For just laws like this, everyone should obey them and there is no doubt about it.  

Consider next the laws that some people may consider as unjust.  For example, prior to the recent landmark decision on gay and lesbian marriage by the US Supreme Court, in some states, the laws do not recognize the homosexual couples’ rights to get married.  Some people may believe that these laws are unjust as no one should be denied to right to marry because of their sexual orientation.  But that does not follow that people who believe in homosexual marriage should have the responsibility to openly challenge the state laws against the practice.  If they demonstrate outside the marriage registration office violently or demand for rights to marry using forces, for example, they will most likely be arrested by the police.  In other words, disobeying and resisting the so-called unjust laws will lead to conflict between the civilians and the government, which will not help solve the problems.  

Some people may challenge my position by asking about what to do with the injustice of certain laws such as the laws denying rights to marry for homosexual couples.  It turns out that there are at least two ways to challenge a law within the legal framework.  First, the people unhappy with certain laws can always campaign for abolishing the laws through new legislation.  The members of the legislature are elected by the people and should respect the opinions of their constituencies when making decisions regarding different laws.  Second, the laws can also be challenged in the federal courts and may be striken down for being unconstitutional.  Therefore, people can always try to reform the laws that are not just without disobeying or resisting them illegally.  

In conclusion, given the importance of the rule of law to the social order, everyone should have the responsibility to obey all the laws whether or not they are considered as just or unjust.  As for the laws that the majority of the society believe are unjust, there are ways within the legal system through which the problems can be solved peacefully.  





下面这篇是我之前写的,感觉不太适合做范文,大家有兴趣随便看看吧。



今天在在备课的时候,看到关于Creative Commons的讨论,重新写了一篇,从恶法非法的角度,讨论如何面对不公义的版权法。这也是我个人的信念和对版权问题的立场,希望通过GRE写作教学介绍给大家。



The rule of law is an important principle that enables members of the modern society to solve a wide range of problems without degenerating into a violent state. While it is obvious that all individuals should obey laws that are not controversial in terms of its justice, in order to abolish unjust laws that are incompatible with the development of modern society, individuals should challenge such laws through legal means and civil disobedience.  The laws related to creative culture and copyrights can aptly illustrate my thesis.  

To begin with, we should obey the laws on property rights that are relevant to books and culture. For example, if we want to own a book found in a bookstore, we should pay for it instead of stealing it which is a violation of the property rights of the bookstore. If we check out a book from the library, we need to return it on time or pay the late fees according to the laws and rules related to the use of library materials. This is important because books are tangible assets protected by property rights.  If we do not obey the laws and get the books illegally, we will infringe other people’s rights to access the same books.  This is why we need to obey just laws.  

What about the copyright laws? In my opinion, copyright laws are unjust because they restrict people’s access to creative works in an unnecessary way. We need to make a clear distinction between the books protected by property rights and the books protected by copyrights. The former is tangible and owning it would prevent others from accessing it. The latter is intangible in the sense that the book can be reproduced and remixed with other books without compromising other people’s rights to access it. With the advent of digital technology and the Internet, books can be copied and distributed around the world with minimal costs and may create enormous opportunities for learning. Yet, the publishers have lobbied the legislatures to extend the copyright duration from the initial 20 years (Statute of Anne, 1710) to the author's’ lifetime plus 70 years.  The expansion of copyright regime has effectively blocked the access to a great many learning materials of people around the world, especially those from the underprivileged groups.  

Some people have tried to resist copyright laws within the legal framework of copyright. A notable example is the Creative Commons Licensing System developed and advocated by cyberlawyer Prof. Lawrence Lessig.  Through a set of Creative Commons licenses, the authors and creators of cultural works can choose to authorize the public to use their works freely, essentially giving up some of their rights protected by copyright laws. Such efforts are legal and effective to help restore the balance of interest between copyright holders and the general public that has been distorted by copyrights.  This example illustrates how private individuals can and should resist unjust laws within the legal frameworks.  

Nevertheless, I do not believe that the legal means is sufficient for challenging the unjust copyright laws.  Creative Commons may help some authors to release their works from the bondage of copyright. But a great many important creative works and books are still under the control of greedy publishers and corporations that would use copyrights to deprive ordinary citizens of their rights to learning and entertainment.  As a result, it is also important for ordinary people to practice civil disobedience against the copyright regime.  For example, instead of buying expensive books from the bookstores, we should try to obtain the e-copies of the books from websites such as Library Genesis and Sina Information Sharing.  These acts of civil disobedience will create pressure on the publishers to change their business models from charging the readers to sponsoring the authors through advertising or government funding.  In other words, if we want to change the unjust laws, we cannot merely rely on efforts within legal frameworks but have to break the laws in a large scale.  

People may worry about the legal consequences of practicing civil disobedience against unjust laws. In the case of copyright, this should not be a major concern as unauthorized copying of books and other creative works is so widespread online that the authorities simply cannot afford the resources to enforce the copyright laws. So long as increasing number of people practice the so-called “piracy”, we are protected by the sheer number of illegal acts.  In fact, when a law can be so easily broken by so many people around the world, there is obviously something wrong with the law rather than with the people breaking the law.  


In conclusion, the examples I discuss above about books and copyrights clearly illustrate the importance of obeying just laws on the one hand and resisting and challenging the unjust laws on the other, both within the legal framework and outside it through civil disobedience.  

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US-applicant

发表于 2014-10-25 19:43:30 |显示全部楼层
tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-24 11:07
参加提纲互改小组的同学辛苦了!有部分同学写的提纲未能抓住题目的重点,被我不客气的批评,希望不要见怪。 ...

老师说的分类写法还是很有启发性的,这样的分类方法确实可以解决不少问题,非常感谢老师!!

不过我这里有点小小的困惑,就是这样分类的写法会不会显得比较浅?因为分类的写法那整片文章的论述就是平行结构,感觉逻辑性可能会弱于递进结构或者转折结构?不知道这是不是我一直以来的一个误区呢,求老师解惑,谢谢!!

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-26 00:25:35 |显示全部楼层
黑白沉默 发表于 2014-10-25 19:43
老师说的分类写法还是很有启发性的,这样的分类方法确实可以解决不少问题,非常感谢老师!!

不过我这 ...

嗯 我觉得写转折结构容易造成自相矛盾的情况 因此不推荐
分类讨论实际是较深入的分析和讨论问题 使得你的观点比较复杂 正是GRE的要求
而且毕竟只有30分钟的时间 能这样写清楚就不错了
如果你一定要加料 可以加一个anticipate challenge
本帖顶楼有我的issue 89 回忆 可以参考下
你写的提纲我明天看
已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
diehard + 2 有启发,重点练习分类谈论的技能。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-10-26 12:53:45 |显示全部楼层

每天列提纲积累思路和例证

要想拿到理想的分数,至少要列issue和argument的提纲各40道,这个工作时很难在1-2星期内完成的。大部分同学在开始的时候总会出现对题目理解上的偏差或者思路无法展开,需要在我的帮助下调整,慢慢适应新的解题策略。这些都不是短时间能实现的。我的建议是每天都要列提纲,哪怕只花15-30分钟的时间,也可以列出2-3道题的提纲,发到论坛上来,可能会被我打击一顿,回去再想,慢慢地就会想明白。

例子的积累不是要你去背历史事件或人物传记,而是要学习如何从自己熟悉的生活中找到切合题目的例子,并且学习从例子中提炼观点,构建自己的论证。

等提纲列的差不多了,还有写全文,又会被我各种打击。这时会对自己的英语彻底失去信心,怀疑自己这么多年的英语是不是白学的,怎么提笔写的句子都不对。绝望之后,开始看我写的文章,发现我用的词都不难、句子结构也容易懂,于是问自己为什么就想不到这么写。很简单,这需要积累。

我相信只要找对了思路、抓住了题目的重点,然后表达上不要让人不懂你在说什么,拿4分不是那么难的。但是现在真正做到每天坚持写提纲的版友还没有真正出现。可能还是时间问题。100个寄托考生中,可能真正愿意投入认真思考题目的不到10个,但是我坚信,只要我一直在这里,总会遇到一些真正想学的孩子。



已有 7 人评分声望 收起 理由
lfff5 + 1 感谢分享
Chris_geng + 1 Big Cong!
mazent0sh + 1 感谢老师
雁过留声90 + 1 瞻仰膜拜
乱羽乱舞 + 2 顺便收集老师的干货也是我等的一大收获!
diehard + 2 恰当的例子和恰当的展开对我还是难点
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